Reviewer: TerryLarka Signed [Report This]
Date: October 05 2023 1:21 AM Title: Chapter 8 - Toe to Toe

I totally feel you on coming up with new size comparisons. Conveying difference in size in a unique and tantalizing way is something I always stress over, and I'm afraid that I never do a good enough job at it considering how important it is to most reader's enjoyment of size smut. 

I'll admit, I didn't realize that was what the elevator metaphor was indicating. I interpreted it as symbolic of how Jen felt shrinking, like her heart rising out of her chest from shock. I understood the pokeball imagery once she was free and the clothes were on the floor, but Kim's actions were lost on me til that point. 

Looking back on it, the word "indistinct " in "Jen had the indistinct feeling of rising and falling" is what tripped me up. I thought the feeling being indistinct meant it wasn't really happening, when really it was and Jen just wasn't fully aware of it, like someone riding in an elevator. Personally, I think a more objective statement that she is in fact being lifted up at the start clears up any confusion (i.e. "Jen felt herself lifted up within the confines of her clothing, giving her the indistinct sensation of rising and falling, like she was riding a high-speed elevator... and continue from there with what you had.) "Show, don't tell" is great and all, but I've found in my own experience there are times where you need to tell or else the reader doesn't get to see what you're trying to show them. 

But I'm as much (or maybe moreso) of an amateur as you are, so take any advice I give with a healthy heaping of salt lol. 

Author's Response:

There are plenty of times when a brilliant/talented/dedicated amateur shows up the established/complacent/iterative veteran (neither of which describes me).  I'll always take another point of view under advisement, especially from an author who's work I so respect.

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my query.  I sometimes get so locked in the idea of being grandiose or evocative when trying to make an impression that I lose sight of the power of the literal.  Thanks for the wake-up call.

P.S. I'm still kicking myself over my comment on your Lured into the Dragon's Den story.  You did literally state that the spell was Vera's, and I went and misinterpreted that line to mean her presence was spellbinding.  I absolutely LOVE your stories, but maybe I shouldn't read and comment while completely strung out.

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: October 04 2023 2:55 AM Title: Chapter 8 - Toe to Toe

 “Titty looks hornier than I’ve seen her in a while, and both you and your little lover might want to brace for what comes next.”

Now there's a scary thought! Is that even possible?! Pokémon must be an aphrodisiac for her, right up there with breathing, moving, and someone who has a beating heart!

Kim slipping a bit into her streamer persona and simulating a Pokémon battle was a clever way to make sure Jen was comfortable with their newfound size difference. Seeing things from Jen's perspective, we get no hint of fear at all from her, and she seems to jump into competitive mode pretty much right away. Jen doesn't even hesitate to go under Kim's foot as it's descending in the hope of attaining victory. I know she trusts Kim not to squish her, but she was so into the battle that it wasn't even a thought for her.

Also, when Kim said she would make Jen feel helpless, my mind went to a lot of places. I have to admit, though, her wearing Jen's edible underwear on her toes wasn't one of them.  Between that and crushing the figurine, she was pretty creative in taking away any semblance of control Jen may have had before going down, and she even managed to do it without even touching her.  In fact, Jen initiated all contact during the whole battle, yet she felt like she was fighting an uphill, almost futile battle the entire time. That kind of mental, gentle domination fits Kim's character really, really well.

I actually had a bit of a realization (or misread) during their "battle." When we first met Kim, she seemed like she had kind of over her streaming gig for awhile, trying to find a more adult way to make money (investing). In fact, she has kind of had a more "adult" air about her throughout the story (at least to me). But here, she was really into her game with Jen; her enthusiasm felt real, rather than manufactured ala streaming personality. And while reading the scene, I realized (I think) that the reason Kim has stuck with streaming as a profession for as long as she has is at least partially because it allows her a certain level of closeness with Jen. Yeah, I'm sure they'd still be friends and even screw around some even if they didn't work together, but I think the extra time they get to spend streaming together is important to Kim.

I mean, it's already been hinted at that Kim wants a real relationship with Jen. Holding on to excuses to spend more time with her doesn't seem like too much of a stretch.

And Claire on commentary was just adorable! That stick-up-her-ass professor mentality she showed at the start of the story is already paying dividends as she begins to show a softer, more fun side, but gradually and without jumping into anything crazy (it would be weird if she suddenly became Titty, after all). I enjoyed Claire more here because of that harsh exterior we saw in the first few chapters, and I'm interested to see if that effect continues to build as the story continues.

I'm very interested to see what Titty has in mind for our streaming duo next chapter. I could see her getting really creative. I could also see her fingering herself as she attacks Kim's vagina with Jen in her other hand. She's pretty unpredictable!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for the continued comments!

Yeah, Titty is always up for a fun time, but unlike Livy and Missy, she wasn't really involved with the size community, beyond the stories she'd heard from her friends.  After living through a month of the lovebirds talking about their super kinky sexcapades, Titty was getting very curious.  Now she's in the thick of it, and she's beginning to experience an awakening...

I went back and forth on how to showcase this chapter a few times, but ultimately I concluded that Kim's approach would be an extreme version of her approach thus far: she would do ALMOST nothing.  She would let Jen tire herself out playing around, and then she would be there to set Jen on a path they could both enjoy.  I also came to this route because one of the greatest expressions of power, is not needing to demonstrate it, and still having it be felt.  A character who goes crazy dominating someone with physicality can show they are, with effort, in control.  But someone who does not need to struggle, who does not need to fight, who does not even need to act to impose their will -- that is power.

Also, this approach was cute, tailored to Jen's sense of humor, and was fun to write, even if it deviates significantly from most foot-focused content out there.  This was Jen's introduction to shrinking, and everyone involved wanted it to be fun.  So, it was framed in terms Jen would jump into - a real life video game.

I like your interpetation of why Kim keeps streaming.  I probably won't make any obvious statements or revelations about it in the work, so I'll just say it's pretty close to my own interpretation of Kim.  I know I haven't done much from her perspective so far, mostly just showing her being the responsible side of their relationship, but that's in part because I really want this next chapter to land with the impact of a hero team-up with a penchant for hero landings and 0 shits to give about collateral damage.

I'm thoroughly enjoying peeling back Claire's professional façade,  one layer at a time.  I have half of her chapter written already, even though it won't happen for a little while, because I'm so excited to show what happens when she decides to get out of her own way.

As for Titty, well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see how creative Titty can be.