[Report This]Date: September 14 2023 10:43 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Presenting Sensual Shrinking
Stop teasing me with Claire and Titty and just have them fuck already! God!
*Cough* *Cough* Ahem... Sorry about that. Not sure what came over me just now.
Anyway, this chapter kicked ass. A satisfying release to the five chapter buildup, and it's only the start of the demonstration.
I found it interesting how you showed the demo through Kim's and Ronnie's perspectives, down to them forgetting and remembering names. I particularly liked how you made some parts inaudible, like Stella's muttering, forcing the reader to do some legwork to fill in the blanks just as the character has to. It made for engaging reading in an already engaging chapter.
Titty excelled this chapter, getting to see both her professional and her enticingly unprofessional personas at their fullest. Cosplaying as an actual succubus (I'm assuming she's wearing a Morrigan Aensland costume until you or the prose tell me otherwise) is choice as hell. And her scooping up Missy with her cleavage? *Chef's kiss*
Tiny dom is still great and always welcome. It was fun to see Ronnie's aspirations reach their climax. I haven't read much with foot-tall tinies, so I enjoyed seeing some of the interactions you came up with between her and Dick (and Dick's dick). I wish I was better at analyzing the smut parts of smut beyond just telling you it was hot, but this chapter was extra hot and that's all I can think of to say.
Author's Response:
Good things come to those who wait. And wait... and wait... and now I'm getting impatient. I could mention that, hypothetically, were such a thing to happen, it might, hypothetically, be planned for a particularly impactful scene closer to the hypothetical climax of the story.
I'm glad to hear the payouts on the build-up are landing. I'm also relieved that my attempt at a protraying the presentation from the viewpoint of a member of the crowd was engaging, rather than seen as frustrating or a cop-out. I rewrote that presentation four times, going back to my first idea on the fourth rewrite (if you're curious, the second attempt was from Missy's POV, seeing their reactions up-close, but it focused too much on Titty's jiggly chest, and the warm, soft hands holding her, and then the faceplant into those warm, form-fitting funbags... why didn't I go that route again? Oh, right, focus on the audience members. The third attempt was from Stella's perspective, but she was so busy freaking out herself, that it overrode any of the other characters' reactions. So, Ronnie's POV it was.)
Titty picking up Missy with her chest was a very in-the-moment addition. Titty needed a big, bold action to shock people out of their preconceptions, and to get Rochard out of his funk and into the mood, and she wasn't going to just hit on him when she's rooting for Ronnie. Then, as I was rewriting that scene the last time, it felt like a muse had come out from the wilderness of the mythic and snogged the idea in front of me. It was too good to pass up.
Tiny dom is where this started, but it won't be where it ends. At least not exactly. I definitely want to branch out, and play on some other interesting scenarios. And similar to yourself, twelve inches is bigger than I'm used to, and generally speaking bigger than I would typically prefer for a standalone tiny, but given the number of shrinkie's, and the range of sizes on display here, I felt at least one character at a foot tall had to be included to spice up some of the scenes yet to come.
Thanks again for reading, and for the review. The feedback helps a ton, even if it's just another acknowledgement that someone read the story and didn't hate it. It helps give a boost to motivation and productivity.
[Report This]Date: September 13 2023 4:34 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Presenting Sensual Shrinking
Wow, it seems like Ronnie read the first story before making the trip to Middleton!
I wouldn't exactly call myself a fan of M/f, but I thought the scene with Ronnie and Dick was really well done. The way Ronnie naturally took control with Richard was pretty fun to read, and it was rewarding to see her help him break through his fear of overstepping with her. Like I said before, he deserved that release (both metaphorical and literal), and Ronnie deserved to be the one to give it to him. And "Big-Titty" getting involved was an unexpected bonus!
I also liked seeing Titty showing off Missy to everyone from Ronnie's POV. Little details, such as Ronnie's shock, the distance between Stella and her, and Stella's own stunned reaction combining to make it so Miss Vale could only hear Titty's side of the conversation, are much appreciated, as always. Ronnie's observations on the Asian gi-er, Jen and Kim were fun, too. There was just something about the way Jen's youthful excitement and Kim's subtle dominance came off from her perspective that made the would-be couple all the more endearing to me.
And if I understood Ronnie correctly (and I'm remembering correctly from a few chapters ago), it looks like Dick is going to go all the way down to one inch when it's his turn to shrink, right? That seems like something Ronnie would do. She's used to being in the driver's seat in Richard's life, and it's only fair that he has to work his absolute hardest to please her after giving her the female equivalent of blue balls for the past five years.
Speaking of Jen's youthful excitement, though, her reactions to Missy were super cute, as was her reaction to Ronnie being shorter than her. Even her freaking out a bit when she hurt Missy's ears was cute. Between that and her sudden fear of shrinking when she saw the models (and Kim talking off that particular ledge) were a good reminder of her good nature and fun-loving ways after we glimpsed a potentially darker side to her last chapter. I'm really enjoying the nuance with which we're getting to see the complexity behind her character.
And Kim always feels like the adult in the room, especially around Jen. She comes off as caring, yet in control and just a bit playful when the situation calls for it. I thought it was a bit bold, though not inappropriate, for her to hand-deliver Missy to Ronnie directly, rather than just giving the eight-inch redhead back to Titty. I'm not sure if Kim or Jen are getting tiny first, but I'll be particularly interested to see how Kim handles being a tiny domme.
Going back to appreciating the little details, I loved how Missy seemed in control when she was being shown off to the investors. Even at eight inches tall, she has to be in charge, and that's exactly how she came off here. Yeah, we've seen this before when she was tiny, but that was exclusively with Livy. Keeping her wits about her and using those small talk skills noted earlier in the chapter to be in command when addressing five strangers much, much larger than her isn't only impressive, it's consistent with the character we've been presented with as well. And not seeing that from her perspective, where we could have just been told that was what she was doing, makes the observation that much more enjoyable.
Claire's attraction to Titty is getting a little more blatant as the story goes on. Is that the professor's slowly diminishing inhibitions projecting onto the reader?
I also liked that Olivia took a backseat in this chapter. I love her character, and, as I said last chapter, I'm digging the narratives from her perspective, but I think seeing less of her here gave the other three members of the Fab Four, particularly Titty, a chance to really shine.
I also think Titty was the perfect choice to deal with the investors directly with Missy. She showed more professionalism than I would have expected, and her ability to blend that with her sexually explicit nature was the ideal combination for a presentation like this. I think Claire and maybe even Livy would have struggled to be half as bold as Titty was when talking with said investors, let alone suck the only dick in the room.
Finally, it was a small thing, but I loved how Missy picked up on the tension Stella was directing at her, as well as her speculation on where said tension came from. Getting slightly more background on Missy and Victoria's relationship was interesting, and her not being sure whether Victoria helped her down her current path was due to her sister legitimately wanting to help her or just trying to get her out of the way says a lot about what's shaping up to be a pretty odd relationship between the two.
And, again, that tension also shows that Stella is just terrible.
I kept saying that all of that setup early on was going to pay off when we got to the good stuff, and this chapter didn't disappoint! I look forward to seeing what you've got coming next!
Author's Response:
Hahaha, I'm not sure about reading the story, but now that you mention it, Olivia has Aidra's video file of that encounter... I would so sell tickets to see that in a theater. Though, I think it's more likely Missy's brief wispering in Ronnie's ear gave her some ideas for how to approach this, and she took them and ran with them.
I'm absolutely loving writing for Ronnie's character, and I'm looking forward to a couple scenes in particular where she takes charge, or is taken charge of.
The Showcasing of the Tiny had to happen. It's a paradigm-shifting technology, one which can feel very empowering, until you're staring down a barrel of the solution headed your way. With Ronnie as the main focal character for this chapter, it felt right to have her be our witness to the unveiling. Also, as the one with the least skin in the shrinking aspect, I felt she could give the most honest read of the situation, without projecting her own fears, fetishes (I'm looking at you Jen), or ignorance of events (Stella) onto the scene.
I very much see Jen as a delightful wildcard of youthful exhuberance, tempered by the shadow of her family's culture. She's a different kind of exhuberance and energy from Titania, and I think this story needs her. Especially for this next chapter.
And yes, Titty 100% agreed with you, she had to be the one presenting the product. She's an established businesswoman with her lifestyle seeped in throwing off the shackles of shame where sex is concerned. She could not only see how something amazing could come from this awkward scenario, but could show that path to the others (except maybe Stella, who is kinda in a state of shock right now). After all, who better to tempt them all than a succubus?
Melissa Vane may have stepped off of the Vane Family's Path to Success, but she definitely started there. While she is now on a different path from the family business, ahe can still read the signs she was trained on as a young woman, which helps when dealing with her sister, or her sister's lackeys, or her sister's competition.
I'm glad to see the seeds planted in the early chapters are starting to bear healthy fruit. I definitely plan for that to continue throughout the rest of the story, building to a climax on what has come before. I hope you find that the next chapter delivers!