[Report This]Date: March 07 2024 7:17 PM Title: Chapter 35 -- Touring the Region of the LSR (Ladies Supremacy Republic), Part Two
Hey Tess -
Obviously all my opinion based on what I enjoy, but here is some feedback.
As someone who thoroughly enjoys diving into stories that blend the imaginative with the relatable, I find your perspective is unique. The lens of her size to explore is always fun. Of course, your character seems to be much more optimistic and hopeful which is a fun change of pace, there is a more optimistic depth and warmth. Nano Intelligent Cells (NIC) as a means to level the playing field for is a a creative way to address the physical challenges she faces, and it adds an intriguing layer to the story's universe.
Obviously the ethical implications introduced by the use of male tinies as shoe inserts by Christine are intriguing and i would enjoy if it was explored further, as well as some personal perspective of the characters feelings. (Does she view tiny men as second class citizens as well?) . This plot point offers a rich ground for exploration, and I would love to see it explored furter.(Physical descriptions are always fun, but perhaps discussion or reflection on the moral questions it raises, as well as more visceral descriptions of the darker side of the characters?).
Additionally, the pacing of the story, while generally effective, occasionally rushes through scenes that could benefit from more detailed exploration. Slowing down at key moments to delve deeper into the characters' emotions and thoughts, descriptions of events and physical feelings, especially during the climactic volleyball game, would always be enjoyed.
In any case, good stuff. With a bit more development on the ethical dilemmas and a deeper exploration of character emotions and experiences, I believe the story would be even better.
Kenny
Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback. With gratitude, Theresa