Reviewer: kenny224 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 26 2022 10:26 PM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

Hey Theresa,

While this particular content is not my cup of tea, I'm happy that my story and characters have inspired your writing.  I look forward to more content from you.

Kenny

Author's Response:

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.  

Reviewer: Wutt117 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 19 2022 9:53 PM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

I enjoyed the most recent chapter. I've seen a lot of growth in your writing style and it's much easier to follow now. I hope to see some more crushing under your friends feet, maybe even some movement directly under the heel! 

Author's Response:

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.  

Reviewer: D W Signed [Report This]
Date: April 23 2022 3:38 AM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

I only read your first chapter, and have little idea where this story is heading.

As to you being a lesbian, and I am saying this from the standpoint of a male.  I once was a male maid (complete with a black silk French Maid outfit and feather duster) to two lesbians who would beat me in a Sade-masochist relationship.  The eventual problem was our caring for each other, three wheels in a two wheel relationship.  It had to end, and I miss them both dearly.

That said, many men dream of being part of a lesbian relationship.  What could be hotter than two women making out?  Well I myself found out the third wheel position, which did not work.  But for those who never experienced a relationship with two female lovers, it is the ultimate dream; and admittedly still my ultimate fantasy.

I only read this first chapter, but after reading your resignation of writing your thoughts, I have to ask you to just write what you want.

Sure, many may respond with negative comments; but they are not your intended audience.  Write for yourself, and your intended audience will find themselves.

Author's Response:

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.  

Reviewer: kenny224 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 27 2021 1:47 AM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

Hey Theresa,

I read the first few chapters, and then the last two, since you specifically recommend the second to last chapter in my story reviews.

I'm guessing you're a non native English speaker because you use a ton of words that are, let's say, pretty obscure? lol at least to a dummy like myself.  Not that it's a bad thing per se, but sometimes i feel like you use a different word then what feels most appropriate, or I have to look up what it means (which isn't actually a bad thing, but sometimes it seems like it's slight overkill)

for instance you use "squash obsession" instead of "crush obsession" 

again this isn't incorrect, per se, especially considering we are specifically talking about a fetish here, but it did take me a second to understand what you were talking about.  (I thought maybe you meant the game at first, lol)

As to the story itself, it's not bad.  I dont share many of the same "interests" as you, so but considering what i read that I'm into your descriptions are actually quite good compared to other stories I've read on the site.

You can probably tell from my own writing style what I like in terms of the macrophilia fetish and writing in it specifically, so you'll probably understand what I mean.

In any case, I think by reading and writing, you'll improve in some of these syntactical and grammar issues, especially if you are a non native English speaker, that will only come with time.

In any case, I do love the concept, especially in your last two chapters.  I can't say that i will read everything as certain fetishes are a big no no for me, but as long as the story is parsed out in a way that can separate some of these things I look forward to reading more. 

Feel free to leave a review in my story if you'd like to chat more about writing or, uhh our shared strange "eccentricities" as you might put it, not that I'm an expert in either or anything.

-kenny

Author's Response:

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.  

Reviewer: Inwiththebooks Signed [Report This]
Date: March 27 2021 3:27 PM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

So this one is a bit hard for me to read through because of how its structured. Essentially what I mean is the details can detract from the overall flow of the story. In the first chapter alone it has a couple of asides devoted to exact measurements of the characters and appearance descriptions. These can detract rather than add to the reading experience. Generally its better to give a brief description, hit on the notable points and let the reader fill in the gaps there. With details generally ask, does this detail jerk someone out of the story or does it flow correctly?

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. With gratitude, Theresa