Reviewer: AussieGamer4563 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 17 2024 8:28 PM Title: Introduction.

Hey! Omg I loved this story!!!! Please do more with her!!! I think it'd be really cool if she brutally killed a whole group of tinies! 

Reviewer: Axolittle Signed [Report This]
Date: January 14 2024 2:34 AM Title: Introduction.

+3 Lvl 29 252+ Atk Life Orb Lucario Meteor Mash vs. Lvl 60 0 HP / 0 Def Tapu Lele: 182-218 (105.8 - 126.7%) -- guaranteed OHKO 

Assuming their mother knows pokemon sets, EVs and IVs movesets and items, Lucario still would have OHKOed lele at LV29 with three attack buffs

i dont know the EV's of wild lele, but ill bet its 0 0 0 0 0 0, i hardly play mainline, mostly competitive singles on smogon.

even if the lele was a competitive set, i dont think it would be bulky? most lele run 242 spa/4spd/252spe, and meteor mash is physical.

Author's Response:

Rylee didn't have a Life Orb though.  If she did, I would have mentioned it in the story.

After looking over my notes and the story again I will apologize about something I was mistaken about.  Apparently, Tapu Lele doesn't naturally learn Dazzling Gleam in Gen 7, which means I must have swapped out Flattery for it for the battle.  This was likely so she'd have an AOE attack that could OHKO the opposing field and Rylee was just lucky to have Detect to avoid it.  After that, Lele only have one opponent left, so she could stick to Moonblast or Extrasensory, I just like Moonblast more.  But, with that in mind, here are the official stats I used for them and calculated on this site: https://calc.pokemonshowdown.com

Gen 7 (Sun and Moon)

Lucario - Level 29, Nature: Jolly, Ability: Inner Focus, IVs: All 31
Item: None, Buff: Atk+3

Moves
Detect (0 - 0% HP damage)
Meteor Mash (59.3 - 70.9% HP damage)
Bone Rush (19.1 - 22.6% HP damage)
Power-Up Punch (3.4 - 4% HP damage)

Tapu Lele - Level 60, Nature: Hardy, Ability: Psychic Surge, IVs: All 31
Item: None

Moves
Nature's Madness (50 - 50% HP damage)
Extrasensory (300 - 354.5% HP damage)
Moonblast (238.6 - 280.6% HP damage)
Dazzling Gleam (201.1 - 236.3% HP damage)

So, as you can see, even with the +3 to her attack stat, Rylee isn't going to OHKO Tapu Lele.  Even with the marginal chip damage she took from, at best two, but more likely one turn of Sand Tomb damage.  Even if you give Rylee 252 Atk EV, it brings her Meteor Mash damage up to 74.4 - 88.3% HP damage.  These are not smogon competitively built Pokémon, and while I still don't know why I decided to give Lele Dazzling Gleam over Flattery, I feel like Rylee more accurately represented a Pokémon in the process of being trained up to take on stronger trainers.  Honestly, given how young and inexperienced her trainer was, it would be better to assume her EVs were all over the place and once he knew what he was doing better, he could have gotten the items that lower EVs to build her stats properly.

Though, again, thank you for taking the time to fact-check these sorts of things.  It truly does validate the extra work I put into researching these stories :)

Reviewer: Machinistmage Signed [Report This]
Date: February 16 2022 11:22 PM Title: Introduction.

This has been a really fun read, loving the variety, both in characters and content. Especially the inclusion of NPC trainer classes. Also really enjoy the Pokemon themed transformation stuff, especially in Roxie's chapter.

I wouldn't mind seeing how the new League rules affected regions in some of the spin-off games. For example...

On the Lental Islands (from New Pokemon Snap) maybe Rita releases shrunken trainers into the wild, seemingly as an act of kidness...but actually so she can photograph them being abused by wild Pokemon.

Or maybe leverage Orre Region's lack of Pokemon to make shrunken trainers into a black market luxury.

Anyway, looking forward to seeing more!

Author's Response:

Haven't really considered spin off game material, but that's a pretty good idea. There's plenty to choose from. The only immediate thing I have lined up for the future atm, is a story for Pokemon Legends Arceus. But, I don't know if that will be added to this series or a stand alone short story. 

Reviewer: Another_Reader Signed [Report This]
Date: February 05 2022 6:12 AM Title: Introduction.

Hi! ^_^

I'm a reader of the site for some years and, despite enjoying also cruel giantesses and the likes, I'm with a rather mixed opinion about that story of yours... So mixed that I had to create an account just to write about it in that review, and I hope you deal with it as a sincere, mature review, not just an angry opinion (like it seems that another member had done before here in your story, and yes, (s)he has the right to do so anyway, I'm not complaining). If it's to accept only the positive reviews, then the reviewing system can be turned off, as it becomes nonsense at it most primal function. And I'm sorry if I end writing too much. Since I was a kid (I'm almost 30 years old now) I always liked to analyze everything to the deepest, having a better view of many aspects and even helping people with that. This is why it was so easy for me to choose to be a Psychologist.

But well, let's begin. At first, I'd like to praise you for the way you wrote the story so far. Despite strongly lacking better descriptions in the main actions, the overall/world descriptions are pretty well balanced: just the right balance to give us readers the needed visual information without taking from us the right to imagine a bit too. This is a rather rare ability among many writers today, even professional ones, and you have that with you. Congrats, really! :D

Another very good point is that your story is able to arouse some sort of feelings, good or bad, towards one character or another (as it's clearly seen among the many thoughtful reviews your story has, even the angry one: yes this can be considered good at this point of view), giving to the reader the option to personally like/dislike one or other character by its behavior or its intrinsic personal values. Again, this is somewhat rare among writers, as most just write about their characters in a rather plain manner, taking from us readers the depth we'd like to see in character development.

But for the negative part of your story, I must agree, in a non-aggressive way (as I'm not angry), with the negative review, not annulling/discrediting the good ones, of course (even my review has good points, as you saw them yourself - are you still here? ;D ). Despite having nice world descriptions, they strongly tend to the same thing, always and always. The scenarios changes, sometimes a lot, but the soul don't. This makes your story roundly unidimensional, as stated before by the 'angry' member. Before I can explain it better, I must also add that, as a woman myself, I felt a bit sad/disturbed by the way your story showed women in general (about, let's say, 99,5% of the women in your story). They just changed from normal girls and women to man-eating, soulless, women-shaped monsters. I pretty know this isn't what you wanted to show about women (or I really really want to believe that), but this is what you story shows, straight to the point. And now I can better explain about your story being unidimensional: as said, almost 100% of the women in your story takes advantage on a device that can reorganize molecular matter and gives them brutal advantage over men to just torture them. Despite your story, as you explained on the reviews being just a fetish story, it still lacks substance, even for a fetish story. I'm not saying that you should write it like it was actually happening in real world (it would make your fetish story impossible and thus un-writeable), but many real-world problems, some of them correctly raised by the 'angry' member, should be commonly present here no matter what. In example, many eaten/crushed/shoved/whatever-the-torture-they-suffered men have mothers. Many of them have girlfriends, wifes, daughters... and these women would obviously miss the killed men. Even for a fetish story, it's pretty expected a good amount of women to oppose to that new world order (usually these opposition get dealt too ;D ). Also, you showed normal, ordinary women widely, eagerly accepting that device and torturing men like if they never loved men before, out of nothing heartlessly killing boys and men they usually loved or had nothing against a simple second before. Like, as I said before, they were just women-shaped monsters, with no soul or rationality to make them something that could be called human. Most of the women in your story have memories about fathers, sons, boyfriends... Okay, there are women that simply don't care, but in your story, (almost) no woman actually cared and this made your story sound unreal and potentially boring, even in a fetish world.

To serve as an example, I'll talk about a story that was long deleted in this site when its author disappeared. Despite having a totally different background, the premise was exactly the same: women with a shrinking device shrinking all men in the world, a new world order with women ruling everything (oh yeah! >:D ). I could say that this story was pretty related to yours, somehow. But the difference is that the author showed girls crying the loss of a father, mothers crying because their sons were eaten, women that refused to do harm to men that would be innocent... the story even explained how there was a strong, world-wide, well-structured educational propaganda against men which had 'brainwashed' most girls and women in the world, successfully explaining why most women attacked and tortured and ate men, but even in this world, there was men resisting, and many women supporting them. It was pretty realistic inside a fetish story, despite men continuing to be tortured like they are supposed to be in stories like that ;) . It gave the story more substance, more material, something more of us readers to grasp at. But your story, no, it only shows women out of nothing changing into torturing creatures with no previous love for men, any men, not even the closest, related ones. Your story simply doesn't show that and it's up for the reader to imagine that. BUT the way you write about that new world gives little for the reader to imagine women acting in any other way but the cruel way, really. They strongly lack personality and the uniqueness we see in everyday people, even in stories. Yeah, there are one or two exceptions, but even those exceptions are pretty weak. And consider that I like cruel stories and had read dozens, if not hundreds, of them (not only at this site), so my opinion counts heavily. But, again, your story was roundly unidimensional and lost very strong potential with that. I mean it. I know you explained that this is just fantasy, but as I said, even for a fetish/fantasy story, that lack of some real-world considerations make your story just a very long bunch of different scenarios showing the same background, over and over and over, to the point it starts being boring after a bunch of chapters... so I stopped reading it about two chapters after the Pre-Scholler, and I just read up to there to be more sure about my opinion, 'cause I was truly going to stop before, way before. And I don't plan on reading it anymore, as I know it won't change. See it yourself: most positive reviews are just people asking for some girl/fetish/scenario. This, in a serious writer's POV, little relates to the overall story quality. It's just smut. So, if one's trying to consider your story as a true story, that one will agree that your story's doing bad. But if all your work is to be considered just an agglutinated bunch of words, those to which preteens come, jerk off a bit and go away, then well, go on, it's just that, it's already pretty clear. Ah, I don't have anything against preteens and/or other people jerking off to stories like that, as it's a fetish story. But you know what I mean.

Other (minor) problem in your story that I can relate is that, as stated before, it will lead to destruction or even extinction, it's fact and clear as water. Men are being killed at hundreds, maybe thousands per day, becoming rare. It will harshly unbalance society, and yeah, you explained some things, but it doesn't get even close of the myriad of problems that will arise of that unbalancing and further extinction of males, even with genetic re-engineering of females' bodies to let them procreate without males. Most of them will lead to human extinction, so the 'plan' Cynthia and other 'Elite' females have for a new world will just help women disappear in a way or another, like they did to men before them. It's rather irrational and pathetic, like if we women were sort of un-evolving, going back to dumb monkey stage of Evolution, despite being able to think(?) and use technology. Oh, but this story is just fetish/fantasy, it's not to be considered, or it's to be considered by the reader. Yeah, you said that, but still it's the substance that separates good stories from just long bunches of words. You're writing an actual story, aren't you? And as I said before: one is by no means obliged to relate to all and every real-world problem that would arise from a particularly pictured scenario in a fantasy story, but some main problems simply must be addressed someway, if the story is to be minimally enjoyable for more than three chapters. But there are lots of guys reading the chapters! Yeah, reading the chapters like just bunch of words, jerking off and going away to read the next when it's done and just that, or not even that. If any of them went to a debate with me about the story, I bet most of them wouldn't have mature, technically valid answers for most of the problems I'd talk about. And I could answer all of them. To serve as a little example, you reasoned (and did it fairly well) with the 'angry' member, talking about solutions to the problems he pointed out. But even your solutions don't solve most of them, AND one od your solution is worst than the problem. I stopped playing Pokémon at RuSa generation so I don't know if the pokedex explanation of species like Muk are still the same, but up to the third generation, Muk was a pokémon known not only for eating waste, but for also producing worse waste from that: by eating waste, it became toxic, malodorous, acidic, and his dejects, results of the digestion of trash, weren't good for environment at all. So you put a Pokémon to eat garbage and as a result that Pokémon brings out something that's just plainly worse. Now imagine society with ungodly loads of Grimmers and Muks trying to digest all the petatons of waste humanity produces everyday? Earth would be dammed in few decades, not only humanity, but the planet's ecosystem as a whole. Again Cynthia tried to bring new world order, just to end with a dead world.

*Sigh* I wrote a freaking lot! Are you still here? Fantastic, you're brave. You're not? Oh well...

Author's Response:

Hey, Another Reader, glad you took the time to review the story. And make no mistake, the fact it's as long and extensive as it is please's me even if there are parts I disagree with. I make it a point to never delete or ignore reviews questioned at, or in regards to things going on in stories I work on/with others on. So I take no offense to your response to the story at hand. I want to make that as perfectly clear as I can.

To start, I'm happy you enjoy the world descriptions put into this story. I have to say my cowriter, NRawk though has added more to that than I personally, and I'd offer regards to him on making it more fleshed out while I focused on other elements in the story.

As for thought-provoking responses, I'd like to think I'm pretty decent at that, though I'd offer up some of my other stories if you wanted to get more out of it. This series as a whole, really only had one purpose when I began it. And that was mostly to try out new things, concepts, and fetishes I don't dabble in as much or not often enough. I try to make it a point to force myself to write new things and instead of testing them in countless other stories, having them all in one series has proved invaluable experience-wise. That said, this story.... kind of took off in an unexpected way.

People, for the most part, all really love it. They like the themes. They like the world. They like that the characters they choose can become the next chapters they see. And of course, they like the various fetishes involved. I've only gotten a small handful of comments nitpicking certain scenes and I enjoy being able to discuss them and figure out where I went wrong or how I could have portrayed it better. All and all, I view this series as a success. I was even lucky enough to have two more writers join in on the fun. Co-writing with others is something I've done many times in the past and I always look forward to it. Seeing the different styles all in one story can be considered jarring, but I enjoy the overall way it looks and feels upon completion. Though, this series I'm afraid is far... far... FAR from that...

Which, I'll bring to your first point. I know it seems like a lot of the characters act in very OOC fashions, but there is indeed a reason for that. I'm most certainly not trying to portray all women in this series as, man-eating, soulless, women-shaped monsters. I added chapters to help reinforce that's not the case. Albeit, they are femdom/gentledom related, but they're not straight out malicious in intent. Acerola, Lillie&Lusamine, Hex Maniac, to name a few. They weren't killing. They had strong personalities. VERY strong. And I do agree from a reader's standpoint without the insight of the writer's mind, it can see what's black and white on paper and since I've failed to convey the scenario's I want to play out better.

The main reason for this, to put it simply... is because this story was never meant to be a grandiose novel. It was a way to try new things, find out what people like, and in some cases just get certain writing ideas out of my head that I didn't want to dedicate full stories I normally write to. Though that began to change when NRawk joined on board. When I saw his additions, and the rate at which this story has begun to grow I knew I needed to flush out more. More world-building, more characters introduced, and of course, more fetishes involved.

In the end, I'm trying to cater to the masses, which won't always work because everybody has different opinions and feelings, but If I focus on just one group and leave out others it can cause disinterest and a feeling of disassociation with the story since it started out one way and then took a radical turn another. I do try to add in lighter chapters from time to time to give readers with less cruel appetites something they can enjoy more but if you follow each chapter by chapter seeing a pattern, you're going to expect to keep seeing it, even if the tones change subtly the farther you dive in.

I'm not using this as an excuse mind you. I know what the majority of readers want, and that's usually what I write for. But my longwinded point is I'm not trying to make every chapter the same. But there is a theme I'm trying to keep. And If I haven't shown it off how I see it, then I'm failing to write enough to best describe it.

Unfortunately though... I just don't have the time to try and address this story as it needs. There are literally THOUSANDS of characters. THOUSANDS of scenarios you can do. And THOUSANDS of people who all like different things. Catering to as wide an audience as I can while throwing in less specific or licentious chapters here and there is my best attempt to try and please all. Which I know isn't possible, but it's the best I have with the time I have. And sometimes, that just isn't enough. The scope of this story grew when another writer joined me. And it tripled once another joined on too. I've only posted about half the chapters present, and if not for them, it wouldn't be where it is today. And at that point, I don't think the criticism would stand as much because it would seem like it's still getting off the ground. And to me, it is. I have a lot of plans and ideas I want to do in this story, and my only issue is with my time to dedicate to this series to do it.

At the moment, I have in total, 2 series commissions with 3+ chapters still in production. 4 stand-alone commissions, still queued up and in need of finishing. And 2 story trades I'm trying to finish off at the present. There's also the monthly story poll I host over on our size discord server I do free to all there which is another 5-10k story added in once a month. Or as close to that when I'm not miserably behind. In essence... If I had the time I used to have available to me now, I would flush out this series as much as I could, adding in chapter after chapter to give more characters light, and more aspects to the world I know it's truly lacking. One of which is using Cynthia, the central antagonist of sorts to the series. I have plans of showing off the world more through her eyes, but I just haven't gotten to it yet... And, it may still be some time until I do. That's just the current state of writing as of now.

To address some other stuff you've written, and forgive me if I gloss over anything not said yet. There's quite a lot there which I approve of, such as the families of shrunken victims, I get that aspect. I get mothers losing sons, daughters losing fathers. I do understand all that. But I'm deciding not to go into it because this series isn't meant for that. Each chapter is a stand-alone scenario. The over-arching plot is supposed to be shown through the central character of Cynthia which hasn't come up yet. I know some people like to see these kinds of things front and center but a lot of other people really don't. And I'm still trying to cater to as many people as I can while not ignoring people who do like those kinds of scenes.

Same with facets like the extinction of the human race. To me, the story isn't going to get to that point. I know as one of the writers where timelines diverge, even if readers don't. To put it bluntly, I'd prefer people to read it in the now. Not guess what will happen and predict something they probably won't be able to and get upset about later. There are also nods to some of these scenes in certain chapters such as the Scientist chapter NRawk wrote. I understand it's a common concept in a lot of New World Order stories, but the most I ask is patience to see if it gets that far first before pointing the finger at something that hasn't happened yet.

Hopefully, I've helped address a lot of things you mentioned. And for anything I haven't, I apologize. I also apologize for the delayed response but I figured a well-written and edited one would be more appreciated than a 30-minute rest break email off my phone.

If there was something I missed, or something I haven't chosen to reveal in a review everybody here can see, please feel free to message me again. Though I ask you use Discord instead. It's far easier to reach me on, and I can message back in a more timely fashion. I make no promises of grammar though. ^_^*


Thank you for your review.

Franchise Writer
Grimahr#0649

Reviewer: ikkle Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02 2021 4:12 PM Title: Introduction.

Nasal wasn’t my idea but if you were looking for ideas on it, I love when tinies get reduced to commodities, so I can imagine little guys being sold as over the counter allergy relief.  I think an ordinary girl would really hit home with what they’ve been reduced to, like a picnicker, office worker or PokeFan.  The difference between the relief she’s getting and what the tiny is experiencing would work well with your styles.

Reviewer: SteelPyroMantis Signed [Report This]
Date: July 24 2021 10:43 AM Title: Introduction.

Wow, these are all much better than i could've expected. Not sure if you still plan on updating this, but if you get around to it some more nose play could be good. Nasal entrapment maybe even a tiny being forced to eat snot. Navel play like bellybutton entrapment is always good with micros. As for characters.. something involving the Eevee Girl from pokemon sword would be a possibility. She could claim to be an Eevee like in the games and use it as an excuse to mess with tinies or trap them in her onesie. Or you could do something involving Lana and her twin sisters, butt play and being fought over by the trio sounds possible. 

Author's Response:

We're definitely still writing for this, don't you worry. ^_^ 

There are plans in the works for both the Eevee girl and for Lana/family. Not sure when they'll be ready to post but keep your eyes peeled. 

As for your Nasel request, feel free to drop some characters you'd like to see perform the deed, and I'll see what I can do. 

 

F.W

Reviewer: Anotherone Signed [Report This]
Date: February 25 2020 6:49 PM Title: Introduction.

Didn't notice that it's scrolling now. I'm happy that there is yet another addition of fun with the Pokemon themselves. The Dawn chapter feels a little unintersting, but it may just be because I'm not a fan of foot stuff.

 

With the previous question about gentle stuff, now I'm curious if there might be women who actually go out, defeat male trainers, and keep them in their home to protect them. Like they wish they didn't have to do it, but the only other choice is to risk them getting beat by some girl who would treat them badly. So she's protecting them the only way she knows how, by making them her property.

Author's Response:

Not a bad idea, but that might be harder to pull off with what I have planned in the future. Although, I could picture certain individuals doing this. ;) 

Reviewer: LittleRomance Signed [Report This]
Date: January 28 2020 10:47 AM Title: Introduction.

Oh I forgot to ask in my review. 

Can I request a gentle phermosa chapter? Where the 21 year old guy gets beaten and shrunk to 4 inches but then gets saved by phermosa who takes him and is gentle and loving to him? Maybe ending in some cuddling? 

Thanks 😁🤟

Author's Response:

I'm not opposed to the idea, I just don't know that much about Pheromosa (never actually got around to catching her in Moon lol).  It might take some time.

Reviewer: Storysmith Signed [Report This]
Date: December 25 2019 12:37 AM Title: Introduction.

Ah a lovely Christmas present u guys dropped for us here

Author's Response:

Glad you liked it!

Reviewer: Storysmith Signed [Report This]
Date: December 11 2019 9:12 PM Title: Introduction.

So how have u guys enjoyed sword/shield?

Author's Response:

It's been pretty fun so far. There's also been a lot of fun concepts and idea's that have popped up as well throughout the playthrough. You can expect some Galar girl's making an appearance soon enough. ^,^