[Report This]Date: April 27 2013 7:39 PM Title: To Worship A Friend
The internal dialogue was a tad prolonged. But, better than another overdose of vicarious foot odor! ;-)
Author's Response:
The internal dialogue should be a little more spread out in future chapters. I lengthened the internal dialogue because that part was intended as an erotic scene and I have a tendency to rely on dialogue tags in order to add details. Sorry if it got a little wordy.
You'd be happy to know that the next few chapters (which are also the last chapters until the sequel comes). Will be more plot and less content oriented.
[Report This]Date: April 26 2013 11:48 PM Title: To Worship A Friend
Right, this was a really great chapter. I liked the internal conflict raging on in his mind between what seemed like Josh and Kevin.
It reminded me of Lord Of The Rings with Gollum and Smeagol.
Author's Response:
I think I'm going to have that little voice on the inside of his head carry through the entire story It seems to really add to his character.
[Report This]Date: April 26 2013 10:29 PM Title: To Worship A Friend
I love Paige.
Author's Response:
Then you would be happy to know that, 1) Paige is going to be a major character. and 2) Paige is getting her own story, but its going to be when she is in high school so Idk if you would still like that.