[Report This]Date: August 15 2012 11:47 PM Title: Chapter One: Innocently Cheating
not bad, there are bits where the talking is kinda funny sounding but ur writing is good and overall its well done, keep going
Author's Response:
Hey thanks for the honesty and critque on the dialogue. I will look closer at it in the future. Your comments are much appreciated.
Date: August 02 2012 10:48 PM Title: Chapter One: Innocently Cheating
It's been quite nice reading so far. Typically I would expect a mistake like what he made to cost him. After all, how well would he take it if he learned that his wife had sex with another man? Now it looks like it might cost him even more as he has to worry about how attached Riley is to him. Then again given how fit she is that could have been quite an issue even at his full size. I do wonder how much common sense he's going to show though if she chooses to keep him. Is he going to be the type that constantly pleads for her to let him go possibly provoking her to anger constantly or is he going to show some common sense and see if he can learn what buttons are safe to push?
Author's Response:
I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far and thank you for taking the time to reply. It is much appreciated. I know if i was cheated on I'd be pissed and if I was him, id hope to be restored before my deed was found out. As a woman scorned has no mercy as they say.