Reviewer: newmark42 Signed 
Date: July 26 2015
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
A couple other questions have come up while digging deeper drafting my continuation... sorry if it's a bit too much.. and again I *love* the story..
Most are some version of "what has life been like for them for the four years before the story, since Luna met Regan?" What have they been doing?
1) Where are they? (it says Topeka, as in Kansas?) Where did they goto college? Where did they grow up? (says L/A grew up together, but I didn't see any refernce to where)
2) what season is it? There is a reference to it being cold, but no mention of snow, so it sounds mildly cold, like fall or spring.
3) How long have R/A been guardians for L/A? How did it happen? The closest time reference I can find, is Ch7, where Luna admitted Regan has "lived with this for the last four years", where I think "this" refers to being in proximity of Ash. However, if they are all 23, 4 years ago they would all be 19, which sounds like when Luna and Regan would have met as roomates in college. So the four years could just be how long Regan has known and been around Ash.
Did college require them to get guardians? (aka, was Luna instantly her guardian, and thus her roomate?) That would sort-of make sense, in a world difficult for and potentially dangerous to small people. Ash could have been independently assigned Addison as a guardian, but it seems improbably though that L/A would marry, and their individually assigned guardians would marry.
4) Why did R/A marry so young? L/A have been married for a "couple of months" (so still age 23), and R/A have been married "a year longer" (maybe age 22). Society requires *men* to marry young, but it doesn't require this of women. Is it common for women to marry eachother so young?
5) Why is Ash still complaining about riding in a car-seat? Why is this the first time they've been on a long hike, or needed a carrier? Why are these issues only coming up now? Did they only recently become guardians? Did they recently move to a new city (after graduation from college perhaps)? If so, that might explain why good hiking trails are newly available. Where did they go to college? Where did they grow up? (we know L/A grew up together, but I don't think we know where)
6) What is the timeline? The tail end of chapter 9 "morning wakeup" says it's Monday. Which would mean their "checkup" hospital visit was Sunday, Luna's ascension was Saturday. When did they visit the mall? Was that Sat morning? If so, it seems quite the rushed day to have discovered her tumor Sat afternoon, and have her at home ascending Sat night. Though I guess once the decision is made, no point in waiting.
7) Regarding the very end of Ch9... Ash seems insistant on going to work. His wife just had a life-threatening tumor, which resulted in her undergoing induced ascension. Why wouldn't Ash expect to take several days off work?
8) Regarding the hospital checkup visit (sunday), seems like too much focus on the tracking implant. They are riding in the car to make sure Luna's life-threating tumor is taken care of, and all anyone is talking about is the tracking implant. Seems more like they would be all there for Luna, and then when they randomly saw a sign at the hospital that the implant clinic was open (on a sunday!) they would get Ash to do it. Maybe even after they figured out Luna was in the clear. -- (though what's done is done, just a bit of a critique)
Thanks again for the incredible story, world, and characters.
Author's Response: Wow, I wish I could answer all your questions. :) Unfortunately, I can't. It's been too long since I wrote this story. I'll try to give some thoughts.
1) If it says Topeka, yes, I'd have to say Kansas as that's what comes to my mind when I think of Topeka. As for college and growing up, if the story doesn't mention it, I have no answer. Your guess is as good as mine. I could open my 'outline' but I prefer to rely on the story as the source of 'truth'. The outline is merely a suggestion-box of potential paths.
2) I want to say Fall.
3) Can't remember. Pretty sure college marke the age when guardians became necessary.
4) No answer. But I can say that this post-Ascension world has a different view of sexuality which may play a factor.
5) Lol. I strive for realism even in giantess stories. When I first read this, my initial thought was: 'ut oh...did I drop the ball here?' :) I vaguely remember it was their first long hike (which seems entirely plausible...not everyone hikes a lot). I also know Ash has his own car (hence doesn't always ride in back-seat car-seat), and that he complains about things in general in a way that may seem juvenile by our standards. It can be hard to imagine the mentality of a young man in this society...someone who has spent his entire life treated like a kid in some sense. Is it entirely unrealistic that he acts 'immature' on occassion? Yet at the same time mature and wise beyond his years on other occassions? An odd mix perhaps, but it's fun to imagine how environment and upbringing can impact one's mentality.
6) In many of my outlines, I have a timeline. I checked and couldn't find the timeline for this story. Perhaps it's 'rushed' but given the nature of Ascension's requirements, I can see why they didn't want to waste time. :)
7) I actually wrote part of chapter 10: Ash's life at work. Created the characters for it and everything. Then I decided to chunk it, i.e., if I ever came back to this story, I wouldn't have him at work. It was just a situation where what I'd written felt wrong. I had some other ideas, but who knows what will eventually make it to paper.
8) Well, he *has* worked as a healer before. So he knows what a healer is capable of doing (there's a reason for the title of 'healer'). It's just part of Ascension biology -- the landscape of medicine in this world is entirely different, primarily focused on aiding men. As for women, 'healing' is the ultimate (albiet expensive) cure for most ailments. Plus we saw other things like Luna's vision improving dramatically, etc. Given the nature of Healing, Ash's (perhaps) blind faith in it, and his sporadic moments of immaturity, the car ride conversation around the implant seems a bit more plausible to me. :)
