When writing these stories, most of the content ends up being focused on the fetish content. That's OKAY. However, this isn't a good reason to rush through every other aspect of the story. There are numerous grammar mistakes within the first few sentences (specifically a lack of commas in the dialogue), and you almost never described the appearance or actions of the characters when speaking. Dialogue is also lacking, as it didn't give any context to the characters or their motivations. Also, flies fly, why would Carla think bugs running across the ground are flies? And what person in their sane mind would shove a fly up their ass? SHE'S A MOTHER? Her kids could have walked in, and she was busy cleaning. I get that there might be some, incredibly small, minority of the population that has macrophilia and would get sexual pleasure out of that, but in this context and for this character, it just comes off as incredibly odd. I understand that I can't ask you to make the story realistic, as most shrinking stories aren't within leagues of realism. However, as a writer, you need to try to make realistic characters.

However, I think the concept of a man suffering from his childhood memories of being tortured (in this way is just awesome) by his best friend's mother is great, I just think that you need to write more effectively.

One of my favorite things about your writing in particular is that you give me world where the rules are completely different, and a character, in this case Ms. Evans, who has world views that would seem bizarre to someone from our reality, and you make me completely believe and get into their reasoning. She is such an interesting character because she is so dignified and has the resoning to justify her actions and motivations. It's something that I rarely see on this website, and it makes it such a treat to read your writing.