Reviewer: fizzle Signed
Date: June 11 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Intro - how it all came about.

Hello!

I really like the story so far and it's very refreshing to see someone trying to tell an actual story without the fetish elements overshadowing/derailing the underlying plot.

At the same time I have trouble with some of the core concepts being used in this story. The entire shrinking process for one I think is a rather weak link when trying to weave a believable setting with relatively giant woman.

It makes me think, why can't a human civilization that essentially 'rapes' physics, disregards the conversation of mass not find another solution for survival. With the implied tech level required to achieve such feats there should have been other options.

This also loops back into how I find it hard to believe that the humans would just endure the treatment of the caretakers, they still have the knowledge of this 'super' civilization at their disposal that made the aforementioned feat even possible.

I just think, with the caretakers still being human and not some kind of invincible race of giants with an entirely alien physiology, it would still be very much within their capabilities to oppose the giant females, especially with their technological level.

I could easily see the same scenario taking a different course, that after the initial 'playtime' of the mothers that there would be sudden casualities. With the giantess essentially being confronted with a highly intelligent and very angry virus/humanity.

Another thing to wonder about is why they haven't tried reversing their 'shrunken' state to end this madness.

Author's Response: Thanks for the warm words - I was hoping some people would also enjoy a story with elements of porn rather than the reverse.

When it comes to ending the madness.. well, they did try to undo it - excerpt from the intro:

But in most places, civilization survived and people more or less peacefully tried to undo the effects of the Failure, as they called it - to get out from a multitude of traps they suddenly found themselves in. They quickly learned it is simply impossible to get out. Without access to NS-aTM-PDFG controls, the electro-magnetic field was like an impenetrable wall - strong enough to deflect or destroy anything even normal sized and they were thousands of times "smaller". Which created another impassable obstacle - in order to return to normal world, they would have to supply thousands of times the energy of their mass, to properly de-compress the space. It was simply hopeless.


Of course a bit more is mentioned in later chapters (the review is on 1st, so I assume You haven't gotten much further yet) and the full explanation of what really happened is also coming - but it would spoil the fun of learning about it if I told it beforehand.

The main idea for how the humanity became trapped is simply: they tried to escape the assembler apocalypse destroying the outside world by hiding in this compressed space, which somehow now confines the people inside while empowering the "caretakers" to do anything they want.

The civilization wasn't "super" - for instance they weren't able to fix or even properly manage the problems caused by the assemblers. Just normal people with more advanced tools.

When it comes to the opposition - well, the communications are all down - and they have no idea what is happening anywhere else. Zones were hit hard by the transportation shutdown.. some managed to survive relatively undamaged, but the restrictions reinforced by the NS-aTM-PDFGs make it impossible to rebuild fully - fusion and assemblers don't work inside and they can only use the materials available in the zones already (and they weren't planned t have any significant amounts of rare metals... or uranium, for instance? - nobody assumed the Failure would happen...). As I think I mentioned in the intro already - and also expanded later - in order to get inside the chambers, the caretakers need to be surrounded by a special deflection field, which would stop most kinds of attacks. And of course... ten thousand times is a unimaginable difference of scale - especially that the compression field also makes the physics play in the caretakers favour... being in an enclave of normal space, they can do things that would be literally impossible for even incredibly advanced civilization - for instance comfortably moving at dozens of times the speed of sound. The whole de-dilation mechanics is also scary.

More explanations on the reasons for all this will follow, but I find this setting to be entirely physically and logically plausible - and I spent a long time figuring out the realistic details. If You feel that I may have missed something or maybe that I haven't explained everything properly - please make sure to let me know! (by another review or simply contacting (there's a little [Contact] action on the viewuser.php page, since You seem to have created the account yesterday :> )).

Reviewer: fizzle Signed
Date: June 16 2013 Title: Chapter 21: Interlude – the small perspective.

What I find rather interesting here is the way she was apparently 'downsized' or rather, how we don't really know at this point the mechanics behind it in more detail.

It seems like anywhere within the zones the system can differentiate between 'objects', rescaling them at will and no further notice.

( Though I am doubtful about how healthy such a process would be for a living breathing thing and the accuracy sends off warning flags for me )

Overall this chapter does well on immersing the reader more into the situation the humans are facing, as with previous giantess centric chapters there is a sort of detached way in how we are presented their world, but I am guessing this is partially on purpose.

Another angle this entire thing might be leading at is that the entire first chapter is in fact a red herring, but that is just a wild guess

Best regards,

fizzle

 

Author's Response: Just a couple days ago You were complaining that the super-advanced civilization could have figured out a way to contact the girls - and now the immigration is unbelievable :> ?

More seriously - yes, the whole dilation field is basically the least realistic part of the story, I mentioned in the intro how they were originally meant to only help with the sculpting/terraforming (hence various troubles with dilation and de-dilation - which mostly affect the people inside rather than the caretakers). The basic idea is that anything without wristcom will get quickly dilated uncontrollably, but Rachel was moved just like all the people before the shutdown. Well, maybe not exactly like them, but at least using the same trick with the field (also suggested in the intro). Some more explanations are planned much later, but obviously it all is entirely speculative - if such technology existed, we wouldn't be reading such stories, but rather.. well, you can imagine :>

Detached - not partially but completely on purpose. How could the others care about some dots?

When it comes to herrings, the readers should never know how the events will turn out - some sidekicks like that are there just for distraction and others are actually quite meaningful. So far two of three characters from seemingly unrelated stories of the fifth chapter resurfaced and impacted the plot a lot, for instance. You never know what are the results of the Rachel's paranoia... although she seemed more reasonable towards the end, I think.