Reviewer: dood07 Signed
Date: September 11 2015
Title: Chapter 1: Sips and Giggles
Mmmh.. A few months since you haven't received any review on this story, and I'm wondering if this may be the reason it hadn't been updated so far...? O.o
Anyway ! Since you told it's part of what makes you continue to write (and I perfectly understand you :D) and since I loooved this story so far, I'm writing you this review !
You know I'm not that strong in writing and speaking english, but you have got also to know that what you made is purely wonderful. The suicide being an awesome theme to... hum how should I call it... a mentalistic story. Do you understand what I mean ? A story that focusses on the mental aspects of the protagonists, and your way to describe all these and how you make these evolve since the beginning... Really, it is awesome. (you know the last story I wrote is also about suicide, this is just to tell that this special subject is really interesting for me, "artistically" speaking)
Her playfulness was really enjoyable, and I want you to know that it made me smile multiple times while I was in the metro; maybe I have been considered as a silly reader, but I don't care at all : I enjoyed your story the most I could.
Sure, all the serious stuff is still to come, and I'm already sad for the part when she'll tell him about her lies, but I also know that this will be ultra interesting :) And I'm dreading to discover how he'll react... Will he stay as passive as he is most of the time ? Or will he be angered against her ? Will he cry, shout ? Maybe will he try to end his days, by jumping out of where he's standing when learning this ?
I don't know, and I'm at the same time waiting to discover it and refusing to let it come, because playful like they are now... This just gets me crazy. I loved how they cuddled to sleep, the way she's calling him "cutie", the way she uses her feet to play with him... Hell, I even love the way her room is messy ! You really made her adorable.. :3
And, hum... You know I'm really waiting for the next chapters since this afternoon, and... If you could please continue it it would be awesome. :3
In fact I would also be interested to translate it in French, maybe we'll talk about it later if you're ok with this idea, but I swear I'm so liking this story so far.. The only problem is that it isn't finished yet, and I don't want to attack a project I risk not to achieve..
Anyway, you've only got to know that your story is really really beautiful, and I'm truly looking for more..
Thank you for sharing this with us, and have a good continuation :)
ThelittleFrench
PS : the way she called her breasts "bags of fat", it was so hilarious !! I swear when I understood what was meant by these words (yeah because the time it took me to translate the words in my mind and the time I made the rapprochement, because you didn't speak about breasts before writing this few words ^^), it made me laugh ^^
Author's Response: I'm going to be honest. I'm the most critical of my writing with this story. I've countlessly rewritten the upcoming chapters, and I'm still not satisfied with what I have. I've been favoring Junebug with updates because that story kinda wrote itself, so to speak. Even for that story I had to constantly rework certain things.
I definitely do appreciate the kind words, and I'm going to continue this story. It's a story I'm in love with writing but it takes a lot to get it right for me. What I have now is actually a bit different than what I originally outlined, so I'm going to keep refining the story behind the scenes first before I continue updating.
I'm really sorry for the long wait, but trust me I'm doing it for good reasons. These two are too fun together to give up on.