Penname: scrymgeour [Contact] Real name:
Member Since: July 13 2012
Membership status: Member
Bio:

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Reviews by scrymgeour
Summary: A lonely woman discovers a ten-inch man at her doorstep, and then goes on to discover her sadistic side as she torments her tiny captive.  Then she captures his sister, and goes on to develop her skills of torture.
Categories: Feet, Humiliation, Insertion, Mouth Play
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: None
Size Roles: None
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 24714 Read Count: 106706
[Report This] Published: November 28 2009 Updated: February 10 2010
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 13 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 Getting Acquainted

Really, really loved this story, and favorited it. It's a shame you're still not writing new material on here.

Summary: A charming mother takes charge of her shrunken son in a very personal manner...
Categories: Entrapment, Giantess, Couples , Crush, Feet, Humiliation, Incest, Maternal, Butt
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 17 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 49517 Read Count: 667710
[Report This] Published: October 24 2010 Updated: November 01 2012
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 01 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I love the way this story more or less abandons a plot and snapshots around to different points of their, uh, relationship (for your female character I think of "generic 40 yr old woman" or something). That's kind of the way I read it, skipping around. The vore and scatalogical stuff kind of grosses me out (but so does something minor like chewing with the mouth open), but I love the interesting power dynamic you have going, and most of the sketches.



Author's Response:

I started this story up with the idea of having as lose a plot in mind as possible, and to be honest, beyond setting up a consistent background for Phil's mom to be dominating him it's become something of a hindrance. The time-skip set up allowed me to explore a lot of new ideas that I previously couldn't, but then I still find I have a bunch more for a more grounded mother-and-son-in-the-home scenario. That's part of the reason it took so long for me to get this finished. 

 

Oh and don't worry about the toilet stuff. I never thought it was too bad (though of course it's a polarizing fetish) but it's pretty much gone away now.

Summary:

At a time and place unkown to us there is a school. The true prupose of this school seems to be shrouded to some extent, but it is a school for girls run under somewhat strict management. So where better to start this story than a girl being punished?


Categories: Young Adult 20-29, Body Exploration, Growing Woman, Lesbians
Characters: None
Growth: Mini GTS (16-30ft)
Shrink: None
Size Roles: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 4933 Read Count: 19004
[Report This] Published: October 17 2011 Updated: March 26 2013
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstar
Date: October 20 2012 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

A few spelling and grammatical errors, and your sentence structure is monotonous, but what's new?

Your first chapter is probably the painfullest reading experience I've ever had on this site. What you've written there reminds me of Stephen King's idea of horror (or at least the humiliation side of his revenge fantasy, repeated through his books in all its scary permutations). Makes me cringe to read it--an unsocialized girl doing that, feeling humiliated, and then seeing some ghastly, shame-induced double of herself, a tenth of her height and "looking starved". That's how I interpret it, anyway. I think the first reviewer was right.

But, however cringeworthy, that's an authentic--and certainly original--image, at least in this genre. Only wish you'd pared it down a little, and spared me some of it. Might help to revise the first chapter.



Author's Response:

Thank you! Finally someone who speaks their mind without trolling, or maybe you are, but your comment looks sincere.  I haven't read Stephen King myself so I can't really say anything about that comparison, but it sounds accurate from what I've heard. It is kind of a klishé theme I admit, but I hope to put my spin on it in the future. I'll try to work on the language as well, but my vocabulary is kind of limited but it doesn't come completely natural since English is a second language to me, and that tends to make my writing style pretty stale. Thank you greatly for the input //Joe

Julia by Jacksmith Rated: X starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 450]
Summary:

Five shrunken strangers become playthings in the twisted fantasies of a psychotic teenage girl and must work together if they ever hope to get out of her clutches alive.


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Adventure, Young Adult 20-29, Adult 30-39, Butt, Couples , Crush, Entrapment, Feet, Gentle, Humiliation, Insertion, Instant Size Change, Mouth Play, Slave, Unaware, Violent, Vore
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Doll (12 in. to 6 in.), Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.), Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: F/f, F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 76 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 134130 Read Count: 1084058
[Report This] Published: November 05 2011 Updated: July 20 2015
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed
Date: October 09 2012 Title: Chapter 44: Act III: Animal, Chapter 44: Hope is Lost

After the thorough way he describes and catalogues everything in his surroundings, I'm leaning toward 'insane.' I don't believe a fully sane person would be able to keep his reason in that situation.



Author's Response:

probably not a bad assumption

Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 21 2012 Title: Chapter 45: Chapter 45: The New Room Order

Observation: I've noticed that you use the word "doughy" (wrt the texture of flesh) pretty regularly. Definitely unique. I've never thought of flesh as having a particularly doughy texture. It turns red and white, etc. (there are about a million common metaphors for talking about the way the skin turns color, looks, feels), but the thought of its closing like a 'dent in dough' makes me wonder...

Interesting chapter as always.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review. I realize some of my word choices at times can feel like a stretch, but I feel like it's a good sacrifice in order to have variety and to explore some of the difficult-to-picture sensations tiny characters experience, such as being surrounded on all sides by a hand.

by Rated: [Reviews - ]
[Report This] Published: January 01 1970 Updated: January 01 1970
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed
Date: August 01 2012 Title: None

An interesting story, but overlong, IMHO. I followed you, note by note, up to the beach scene--which was very close to perfect--in Chap. 12, which you obviously enjoyed writing, but after that the story dropped off and tended to drag. Jenna continued being her gentle self, and David his complacent self, day after day after day. By the time you got to Carrie, I was rooting for her to kill someone. But that's just my mildly qualified opinion of your huge baggy monster of a story. My qualified opinion of the most popular story on the site, it seems (wow--so many reviews!). :)



Author's Response: To be honest, I've enjoyed writing all of it. Perhaps it's turning into a virtual soap opera, but people are still having fun reading it. And I'm still having fun writing it. My original idea for this story was very simple, but as you said, it's grown into a beast. Anyway, I never expected it to be so popular, not that I'm complaining. Fear not, this story DOES have an ending.

Summary:

A girl finds herself under her mother and friend's feet constantly, in a world where people wear other people in their shoes.


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Young Adult 20-29, Adult 30-39, Crush, Feet, Entrapment, Maternal
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Micro (1 in. to 1/2 in.)
Size Roles: F/f
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 17619 Read Count: 209872
[Report This] Published: April 16 2012 Updated: May 16 2014
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 09 2013 Title: Chapter 1: The Girl Who Lived in a Shoe

Just started following this little piece. I've been gone for a couple months because of busy-ness, and this is a great way to come back. Love it. 

The church scene in your most recent chapter was a nice mix of twistedness and innocence. Also, looking forward to the kindly 'research' your 'serious professional woman' has planned--with all good intentions. 

-scrymgeour



Author's Response:

Thanks... I was a bit hesitant to throw religion into the mix, but I had always intended that to be a motivating factor for our antagonists.  

Summary:

On the day I head off to college finally escaping my wicked stepmother and her daughter things take an unexpected turn for the worse....

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Allcharacters are fictional any similarities to real people are 100% coincidental.


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Adult 30-39, Crush, Humiliation, Insertion, Unaware, Violent
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: FF/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 22 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 31256 Read Count: 189812
[Report This] Published: June 03 2012 Updated: November 20 2012
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstar
Date: September 02 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Into the Mind of Jessica

A couple things:

1) The journal idea is pretty great (haven't seen that before, although it's the kind of trick you'd think must be common around here). It does feel a little out of place here--like some irresistible digression you just had to take. You could use that 'journal' device for a separate story, maybe (I wouldn't mind doing something like that myself);

2) Not clumsy at all, if that's what you meant. While I'm interested in following you into the next chapter, where those questions you've posed in the endnotes will (I hope) be answered, the sum of Jessica's journaling doesn't really make me interested in her as Jessica, or as a real person. I know what she did, but for me the lingering impression is of an empty-headed, oblivious girl whose experiences one day just happened to be a little 'weird' and out of the ordinary. You could actually strengthen and intensify her personality, and humanize her, by adding into the journal some reflections, fears and desires, dotted lines, etc. What kind of person she thinks she is is just as important to me as what you tell me she is.

But all in all I like this kind of stuff. Keep going, man.



Author's Response:

Actually right after I posted this I came up with an idea to begin explaining why Jessica just charged headlong into the feelings her dreams gave her, so I just edited it accordingly. I tend to edit a lot as i come up with ideas and realize it conflicts with something I said earlier. I like Jessica and am trying to develop her character more, I have a partial chapter with her opening up to Amber and decided to come back to this real quick to set up a portion of that dialogue. I'm pretty sure part of the journal (at the end) brings her into a more humanized person, at least somewhat more sympathetic.

Summary:

Set in the "Rebalancing the Sexes" universe. A couple in their 20's look at their options, right after the Goddess of Love's edict causes men to disappear from the workforce and the dating pool.


Categories: Young Adult 20-29, Adult 30-39, Mature (40-49), New World Order
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: Rebalancing the Sexes
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4034 Read Count: 25302
[Report This] Published: July 29 2012 Updated: July 29 2012
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 06 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This story should have far more views than a lot of the crap circulating around this site. Amazing & very unusual premise for this kind of 'new world order' scenario (I think that's what they call it here). The Goddess of Love -- Venus/Aphrodite/Astarte/Freyja/Ishtar? -- and the 'honey' were great and memorable touches. The sex-crazed women chasing him around in the first chapter was also nice comedy.

So, I hope you go on to contribute more.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review. Hope you read all the stories in the "Rebalancing the Sexes" series. There's another comic scene at the end of the original RTS story. I just don't happen to think a giantess/SM scenario is all about grim dystopian fury and vengeance. In RTS, I'm big on the idea that as long as they can have any kind of interaction, the sexes will try to muddle through, and still like each other, and that the motive for such a world-changing move would be more mischief than mayhem. Not to mention that they would gain a measure of empathy for each other's former positions. Three stories posted so far and a fourth will eventually appear. I welcome any and all stories set in this universe.

Sweat & Tears by kyary Rated: X starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 56]
Summary:

Joe gets a new roommate, amazonesque basketball player Alex. But it's not all roses when the pheromones released in her sweat seem to have a strange effect on him. The sweet girl might not be so nice forever when her trauma and desires comingle with the state of her dwindling roommate.


Categories: Humiliation, Young Adult 20-29, Feet, Entrapment, Gentle, Growing/Shrinking out of clothes, Muscle, Slow Size Change
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 14086 Read Count: 141095
[Report This] Published: September 18 2012 Updated: October 23 2012
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 23 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

You really pile on the intensity as this chapter goes on. Great stuff, though of course it'll be pretty hard to sustain the next few chapters at this pitch, now.

Have to say that I really love the sentence, and the image, "Alex watched the game she was playing with childlike wonder." Very vivid, and it feels right, also. (She wants to pat him on the head, but she knocks him over instead--and, in her innocence, this entertains her, etc.)

 



Author's Response:

Thank you! There won't be many new chapters, I don't want to draw this one out too long. 

I'm glad a sentence was able to resonate with you. That's all I can really ask for, to make a clear image of characters and situation in someone's mind. Thanks again!

Summary:

See my Timescrybe2 account, as I am going to ask the admins to terminate this one as soon as I've finished moving the stories to the new account. This old timescribe account has been malfunctioning since Jan 2019, causing hassles for both me and the readers. I plan to get rid of it ASAP.


Categories: Giantess, Adventure, Gentle, Instant Size Change, Mouth Play, Unaware, Vore
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 33 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 57433 Read Count: 175406
[Report This] Published: October 01 2012 Updated: December 17 2012
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed
Date: October 04 2012 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7: TAKING A CHANCE

Enjoying this so far. Not usually a vore fan, or a fan of double spacing, but I'm kind of catching on here. (Also love R. Chandler.)



Author's Response:

I'm glad the story works for you. I used to single space everything and people said it was harder to read. Of course now, you're stuck with more scrolling to do, I know.

Summary:

A college women's gymnastics team and the coach are hit hard by the desires arising from the Rebalancing of Sexes. It's made worse when their boyfriends and husband are kidnapped by a rival team, forcing them to grab the last male on campus to meet their needs.


Categories: Young Adult 20-29, Adult 30-39, Butt, Gentle, Humiliation, Insertion, Instant Size Change, Lesbians, New World Order
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Doll (12 in. to 6 in.), Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.), Micro (1 in. to 1/2 in.), Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: F/f, F/m, FF/f, FF/m
Warnings: None
Series: Rebalancing the Sexes
Chapters: 19 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 41351 Read Count: 239248
[Report This] Published: October 23 2012 Updated: August 12 2015
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 23 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Another interesting installment. Will follow where this goes.

Again, I have to say that I love all the possibilities this premise offers--comedy, tragedy, requited & unrequited love in a number of differents forms, etc.--depending on the couple, or group of individuals, you choose to concentrate on. (Well, that--and it's also a world where sex never gets boring.)

 



Author's Response:

I think that's the great part about this world... it never gets boring. Thanks for your support, and I hope you'll like what you see in following chapters.

Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 29 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 11

OMG. The last three or four chapters have been so fantastically twisted, I'm reminded now and then, with some of these images, of the first time I read/saw a gts story or picture. (Isn't that what every writer is trying to do, in any genre? get back to that feeling of seeing it all for the first time. Pretty tough to accomplish, but sometimes it clicks.)

Really loving this so far.

scrymgeour



Author's Response:

Thanks... you've summed it up so well. That's so much of what I'm trying to achieve, the feeling of raw yet unjaded sexuality, and the expression of power in a feminine way. Giving these women the feeling that almost anything is possible and almost anything is permissible. But in a playful sort of way, a needful way.

Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: June 28 2013 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 20

My Lord. I need a cold shower after this chapter. 

(Also, would you mind if I borrowed this idea, for some story, at some point down the line?)



Author's Response:

I am honored by any and all arousal incited by my works. :) Here is where I'm kind of trying to add a new element into the story. The Goddess of Love doesn't want the State girls to wither and die. She wants them to be humbled and find new love in their humility and smallness.  I am also trying to develop the concept of "emotional shrinking" first outlined in Chapter 18, where the men find themselves adapting to their new sizes by altering their personalities... some becoming playful like a puppy, others becoming brave and flirty explorers of the feminine mountains and canyons... all arriving at a worldview that centers on women in general and their own GTS in particular... and feeling fulfilled... not only coping with their new size and station... but feeling that life is good. As for borrowing the idea, I would absolutely say YES, and would gladly bring it into the Rebalancing series and canon if it fits. I can think of few writers who approach this at such a deep level, as I read the "Library" series.

Winter Goddess by skr2ek Rated: R starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 13]
Summary:

A little guy journeys through a giant frozen land, almost freezing to death. He is saved in the last moment by a gentle goddess, that will bring many changes to his life...


Categories: Feet, Gentle, Insertion
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 5166 Read Count: 21900
[Report This] Published: October 28 2012 Updated: November 06 2012
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstar
Date: October 28 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The frozen wastes

I wonder how this idea came to you...

That aside, it's an interesting premise, and I really like the idea. But a few critiques (I know that most authors on here are proud of their stories, and I'm not going at you or anything, just pointing out a few things you could change to make the reading experience better for me): 1) the dialogue is 'blah' and sounds like it's coming from the stock, bratty sixteen year old character I find so often in these parts. It should sound like it's coming from some giant, frosty Freyja coming across a snowy plain in the middle of nowhere. 2) The womb image is too overt--in my mind his climbing into her twat makes her some stupid archetypal mother figure rather than something really weird and interesting. 3) Would really like some backstory here. It's a really fascinating idea for a fantasy story!

Best, scrymgeour



Author's Response:

Wow, thanks a lot! That is exacty the constructive critique I was hoping for.

I got the idea on two days ago. I saw first snow fall outside and quite a lot of it fell during the afternoon. It was an idea for a collage (which I did), but it got somehow stuck in my mind, so I developed it into a story.

Ad 1) Yeah, I struggled with the dialogue a lot. I knew what I wanted to achieve with it, but was not sure how exactly to get there to make it seem realistic.

Ad 2) I tried to make the womb image not too sexual. I mean, at this point, the main character is half frozen, exhausted, about to faint, so in no shape to get it. At this point the goddess does not put him there for her enjoyment, but as the only means of saving his life.

Ad 3) I was also thinking of evolving the world and the backstory more. Maybe adding some sort of a prologue. I'll see what I can do. :)

 

Again, thanks a lot, I see I still have a lot to learn regarding writing... ;)

For Her by kyary Rated: R starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 17]
Summary:

A brother keeps his little sister alive by allowing her to siphon off part of his immune system every day. But when she begins to realize she can take other things from her brother as well, the petite girl uses it to grow at his expense.


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Feet, Growing/Shrinking out of clothes, Growing Woman, Humiliation, Incest
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 5617 Read Count: 39400
[Report This] Published: December 06 2012 Updated: December 09 2012
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: December 06 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Presumably she can also siphon off other qualities, too, along with height: intelligence, identity, equilibrium, musical or athletic talent, sense of place, eye and hair color, skin tone, etc. Am I right?



Author's Response:

Heh, well some of those things, definitely. I do have ideas related to taking things other than height, but that'll have to wait.

by Rated: [Reviews - ]
[Report This] Published: January 01 1970 Updated: January 01 1970
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed
Date: July 16 2013 Title: None

Just one small critique, here (I'm apologizing in advance, so don't hate me for it): It's painfully obvious that you've never once heard a Hispanic cleaning lady talk, or worked side by side with them. Luiza's pidgin English sounds like Indian talk culled out of some old 50s TV western. And I know you didn't intend this -- but she resembles no Spanish-speaking cleaning lady, or human being, on Planet Earth. 

Instead of her "incoherent" or "indecipherable" Spanish, why not type in a few Spanish phrases, to pump her veins with some real, raw, bleeding blood? Even though you don't speak Spanish, you could look a few phrases up. Again, this caricature really bugged me, for personal reasons. Especially because her mule shoe has more life than she does.

Summary:

Home of all my chapter long stories. Each story is given a series of ratings, warnings, and tags in the chapter notes in the beginning of each story so that you know what your getting into. If a story is requested enough times it may get a sequal or its own fully fleged story.

 

 


Categories: Adventure, Crush, Feet
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Nano (1/2 in. to 2.5 nanometers)
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 10526 Read Count: 29705
[Report This] Published: June 26 2013 Updated: May 27 2014
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: June 28 2013 Title: Chapter 2: The World’s Worst Giantess Story Ever

Yes! You overplayed your hand just a little bit in the second half -- but you definitely made me laugh. I've been thinking about writing out a mock-scenario like this for some time. 


"So we were sitting in class and it was the last class of the day, because it absolutely has to be the last class otherwise I’d have to explain how she covered up my disappearance and that would make my brain hurt.

'OMG Brian I, like totally have a crush on you, please come to my house.' She said to me as the final students left the class.

...For the sake of the plot I temporarily lose my ability to think rationally and agree to go to her house despite knowing nothing about her or her family."

[Just reposting this review under the proper chapter heading.]



Author's Response:

This was exactly the reaction I was looking for. You have no idea how relieved I am that you enjoy this story.

Also I think you should definitely write that mock-scenario, there needs to be more joke stories on this site

The Sisterhood by adeline Rated: PG starstarstarstar [Reviews - 7]
Summary:

A woman recounts the first time she realized she was a predator.


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Mature (40-49), Instant Size Change, Vore
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1410 Read Count: 7892
[Report This] Published: June 27 2013 Updated: June 27 2013
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: June 28 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Felt this story deserved a rating. Great idea, if you pursue it. Just read through your other stories (A Simple Plan is the most straightforward, and the best of the ones you've posted, I feel) -- welcome back.

Summary:

Un garçon tsundere commence étrangement a rétrécir,et sa grande soeur finit par le découvrir...


Categories: Gentle, Growing/Shrinking out of clothes, Humiliation, Incest, Maternal
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.)
Size Roles: FM/m
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 8296 Read Count: 24291
[Report This] Published: June 30 2013 Updated: March 14 2014
Reviewer: scrymgeour Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: June 30 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1, Le Rétrécissement de Simon

I'm wondering about the shy (but, of course, jolie) girl that your protag. rejects. Does she have some symbolic importance to the narrative (that is, should I read her as being the sort of female double of your protagonist -- and when he rejects her he rejects his own self, and thus after she kicks him he begins to shrink, etc.)? Or does she have a name and a place in the narrative, apart from being the direct cause of his situation? 

The rest is standard fare for this site (i.e. "I'm in school, something happens, I get out of school, go home, and the next morning everything's different") -- and personally I hope you keep your distance from the brother/sister side of things & reintroduce that first girl -- but I've never read a "something happens" scenario like that before. Depending on whether you bring her back or not, give her a name & a reason for being, that scenario will either become a major weakness in your narrative, or incredibly weird, surreal and dreamlike. Waiting to see what you do.

Respond in French.



Author's Response:

Pour la fille qui a rétrécit le protagoniste, je la ferai revenir plus tard. Elle a un rôle trés important a jouer, et elle est lié au personnage. Je peux vous donner un seul indice: Simon la connait, mais ne s'en ai pas souvenue a temps, ce qui va être éclaircie par Mana plus tard. En faite, il est même probable que la fille timide soit plus importante que la soeur du héros