Reviewer: 3nder Signed
Date: February 06 2012
Title: Chapter 1: So it begins.
This story is awesomesauce. In fact I registered here purly for the sake of writing this comment to you and tell you to keep it up!
Only story to line up perfectly w/ my fantisies, normally other ppl take shrunken toilet stuff farther than I like (dislike scat) or the pissing part is just a minor part of it.
My only complaint would be a lack of description and sometimes its difficult to follow certain parts w/o having to read it a few times.
Wouldnt mind helping add to this story some if you're ok w/ that OR feel free to steal from/add to some of my own ideas here: http://www.writing.com/main/portfolio/view/3nder
Would be nice to see:
Guy wakes up in mid of night horny, wants to have some fun so he shrinks himself w/o waking her up and starts to have fun w/ her and she ends up joining in (in her sleep) giving him more than he'd bargand for. Along w/ wetting the bed and unkowningly pissing all over him.
(Unaware stuff is awesome in general really)
The part w/ the twins in the BR was particullarly good, maybe revist w/ them parhaps as a party (alcohol is a duretic after all) in which ends up someone shrunk and dropped into an empty glass alcohol bottle and they take turns pissing in it.
Go along w/ what you ended w/ maybe Tanya pisses on Alex to get revenge for making her cum at work etc
Idk, just some thoughts. Hope it helps! Really like your style and work so keep it up [:
Author's Response: I've read your stuff, you do it pretty well. I've got something going and am doing a couple of other requests for the next few chapters(writer's block though), but I'll definitely visit the party idea.