To make matters worse, a crowd had gathered within minutes, and more people kept swarming around her every second. All around, people just gawked and stared up at her, and it took every ounce of Meg's willpower to keep from crying. Never before did Meg feel so much like a freak. Meg tried desperately to ignore the crowd, but occassionally she couldn't help but to glance down at the people below.
I can't believe how small everyone looks, Meg thought, terrified. No one in the crowd looked more than three inches tall to her. Closest to her were several ambulances and police cars. Running around her somwhere was Dr. Elmer Hartman, doing some tests or whatever. Joe Swanson was rolling around trying to keep the crowds under control. Meg also spotted a Channel 5 news van parked nearby, and swore that was Trisha Takanawa standing by it. She also thought she saw Mayor Adam West in the crowd as well, addressing a few people. Meg couldn't make out what he was saying, but no doubt it was something retarded.
And speaking of retarded, Meg swore she heard her father's ridiculous laugh from somwhere. She scanned the crowd that encircled her again, but there was no sign of him. She listened closely, and thought she heard his laugh coming from behind her. Meg slowly turned around to look at her house, ignoring the collective gasps from the crowd. The sight of her house almost made her lose it; even while sitting down she towered over it. Even worse, though, was how Peter was standing on the roof, using his new digital camcorder. Peter laughed again, then said, "Smile for the camera, Meg! Oh, this is the best shot I've gotten so far...finally spotted by the monstrous Megzilla...."
A sudden urge to send Peter flying across Quahog with a flick of her finger almost got the best of Meg. Humiliating videos of her were going to be on YouTube by lunchtime. Did her own father really have to jump on the bandwagon?
"Peter, that's enough! Cut it out and get down here!" demanded Lois. The rest of her family was standing outside among the doctors and police.
"Wow, I wonder how much Meg weighs now!?" Chris asked tactlessly.
"Hmmm, well, let's see, considering how if something doubles in size, its mass multiplies by a factor of eight. Hmmm, with a height well over a hundred feet...." rambled Stewie. "Let's just say Meg's a whole new category of lardass and leave it at that."
"Enough, all of you! This is serious!" snapped Lois. "My baby girl, just.... My God, this is even worse than when Stewie swapped bodies with Sailor Chibi-Moon!"
Stewie Griffin, now in Sailor Chibi-Moon's body, stood in the living room of his home, with the rest of his family standing together not too far away. Despite being in a body that's a little older and a little taller, Stewie was not too thrilled with his predicament, as one would expect.
"What the devil is with this outfit!?" exclaimed Stewie in Chibi-Moon's voice; hearing that sweet, bubbly voice spout out such venom was a whole new level of weird. "I mean, look at this ridiculously short skirt! Does this girl really think it's a good idea to go out and fight the forces of evil in this fuku!? I mean, she'll get chased by every child predator in a five-mile radius!"
His family continued to stare blankly at him/her as Stewie kept ranting. "And what is with this hair?" he asked, running both hands through it. "It is really naturally pink, or does she use five gallons of hair dye every morning? And this hairstyle...." Stewie went on, fingering the odangos. "How long does she spend each day getting her hair like this, and for what? At best, it looks like I have ice cream cones stuck on my head, and at worst it looks like I'm growing horns!"
Then Stewie pulled out Chibi-Usa's weapon, the Crystal Carrillon. "And what the hell is this!? It's just a little bell with a ridiculously huge heart-shaped handle. Really, in the heat of battle what possible use could this have!?"
But Stewie got his answer when the pink heart-shaped crystal on the bell glowed. He had accidently initiated the Pink Sugar Heart Attack. Little pink hearts shot out from the crystal...and struck Peter right in the unmentionables. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" Peter cried out as he doubled over, the pink hearts continuing to smash into his testicles.
Everyone else just watched in confusion. Stewie's expression had been one of surprise, but soon that evil grin crossed Chibi-Usa's face. "Well, it looks like I spoke too soon," he said, holding the Crystal Carrillon closer. "That's right, eat it Fat Man!" he cried as he kept up the barrage of pink hearts.
After what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Elmer Hartman walked over to Lois, just as Peter lost his footing and tumbled off the roof, crashing onto the ground. But no one really paid him any notice. "Dear God, what a week this will be," he grumbled. "I always have to prepare for some pandemic whenever Quagmire comes back from overseas, and now this...." But he quickly shut up when he saw Lois's angry glare. "Oh, um, right. Err, Mrs. Griffin, I'm afraid I'm not sure what to say. I've performed every test and examination I could think of, given the...unusual circumstances."
"Oh my God, is my girl going to be OK?" asked Lois, on the verge of hysteria.
"Well, physically, she seems perfectly healthy, aside from the...well, you know," said Dr. Martman delicately. "What we should be worried about is how to reverse this. From what your daughter said, it sounds like if we can get that crystal out of her ass, she may return to normal."
"How do we do that?" asked Lois.
"Well, first we have to determine exactly WHERE in her rectum it is before we can do anything," explained Dr. Hartman.
"Hey wait a minute," said Peter, who had finally picked himself up off the ground. "If this thing's radioactive or whatever, can't you just scan her ass or something?"
"You would think so, but no. We need the exact location before anything can be done. I'd wager it's pretty far up there, judging from Meg's description of what happened; it sounds like it went right up like a suppository. I'm afraid the only answer might be a colonoscopy."
Meg had been listening in, anxious for some good news. But as usual, things sounded as if they would only get worse. A COLONOSCOPY!? Meg thought fearfully. A sudden vision of her lying naked and face-down in some airplane bunker, getting her ass probed in front of dozens of doctors made her shudder.
"Alright then...." said Lois slowly. "How soon can we do that?"
"Truthfully, I don't know. First, we actually have to construct a colonoscope long enough," said Dr. Hartman. "There's just no colonoscope in the world big enough and long enough for this...even the ones custom made for Rush Limbaugh and Rosie O'Donnell."
Oh no no no! Meg thought, more terrified than ever. You mean I could be stuck like this for WEEKS while I wait for a colonoscope to be built!?
"In the meantime, we'd better find a safe place for your daughter to stay. As you can see, she's drawing quite a crowd here," Joe cut in.
The mention of this made Meg feel uneasy. "Wait a minute," she suddenly said, making everyone down below look up. "You're shepharding me off somewhere?"
"It's for your own protection, Meg," Joe said quickly. "I'm sure we can get the airport to evacuate a hangar so...."
"NO!! I'm staying right here!!" bellowed Meg. It was bad enough that she felt like a monstrous freak, but the thought of being herded off like some dangerous animal made her feel even worse.
"Meg, maybe you should...." Lois began, but Meg wouldn't hear of it. As infuriating as her family could be, they were really all she had, and this was the only home she'd ever known...it didn't matter if she had literally outgrown it.
"I said I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE!!!" Meg repeated angrily, and to emphasize her point, she slammed her fist down, making the ground shake and almost knocking everyone nearby off their feet.
"You'd all better listen to her," said Stewie flatly. "I think it's close to that time of month, you know."
"Errr, perhaps being close yo home and family would be more, umm, therapeutic and...stuff," said Dr. Hartman quickly. "Well, Mrs. Griffin, we'll keep you up to date, but there are two more things you all should be aware of."
"Oh no, what?" asked Lois in a terrified voice, sentiments Meg shared exactly. Meg just knew she was in for more bad news.
"First of all, your daughter should definitely try not to get herself worked up," Dr. Hartman began. "Judging from what you told me, her growth was probably triggered after she got angry, after...."
"Peter threw an octopus at her," Lois finished for him, glaring at Peter.
"Uh, I see. And secondly, though she's still perfectly healthy, she may, how to say this...Meg might be prone to bouts of uncontrollable flatulence."
Meg's jaw dropped. There was no way she had heard Dr. Hartman right. "Whoa, imagine lighting one of those babies!" Peter cried out, obviously thinking it was very funny.
"Yeah, and if we could harness that, we might have just solved our nation's energy problems," said Brian dryly.
"Oh SHUT UP!" thundered Meg. "I feel perfectly fine! There's no way...." But Meg was suddenly cut off by her own thunderously loud, drawn-out fart.
Meg's eyes widened with shock as the fart went on. At least one good thing arose from such an embarrassing situation: the crowd that had gathered swiftly fled, desperately trying to escape the ungodly foul odor. But the effects of her fart didn't stop there. Dead birds started raining down all around the house, and then Captain Planet's lifeless body crashed down onto a nearby news van. Meg just buried her face in her hands, finally letting the tears flow.
Meg stared at the huge circus tent that had just been erected in her backyard. It was easily visible to anyone from the street. It took up almost every square inch of space behind her house, and yet she still would have to curl up into a fetal position to fit inside. Oh my God, THIS is where I have to sleep until they get that colonoscope built!? Meg thought dourly, staring at what would undoubtedly be a very cramped space. All of a sudden, the idea of a nice, roomy hangar didn't sound so bad.
Her mother must've known what she was thinking, as mothers usually did. Meg heard Lois's faint voice from down below, and she had to listen closely to make out her words. "OK Meg, I just finished talking with your grandfather, and he's agreed to pay for a huge shipment of food for you that'll arrive tomorrow morning. And thanks to this tent the mayor loaned us, you've got some shelter. So don't worry honey, everything's going to be fine."
Meg looked down at her family, who were standing perilously close to her feet. It was scary how with one false step, she could mash them all into the dirt. Meg didn't answer. She just looked back at the tent, which was normally used for town fairs. How appropriate...a carnival tent to house a carnival freak, she thought to herself.
Eventually, Meg was snapped out of her morose thoughts by Peter's voice, which was little more than a faint murmur to her. "Uh, Lois, are you really sure it's a good idea for Meg to stay here?"
Meg looked back down at them. It was hard to tell, but Lois looked ready to clobber Peter. "What the hell are you talking about!? She's still our daughter, and it doesn't matter if she can kick the *BLEEEP* out of King Kong, we're not shipping her off to some military base. She's deserves to stay here with her family while she waits this out!"
"I know, Lois, I know I know," said Peter defensively. "But it's just that, well, having giant girls around usually leads to trouble. If you don't believe me, just ask Michael Eisner."
Michael Eisner stood in the tallest tower of Cinderella's castle in Disney World, overlooking the park. "So, the shareholders think they can oust me?" the (now former) CEO of Disney asked no one in particular. "I'll show them! I'll stand firm. I'll...." But his voice trailed off as he noticed something approaching...something approaching fast. "Oh crap," he muttered.
And then, Alice stomped toward the castle in all her mushroom-induced giant-sized glory, using an uprooted giant redwood as a battering ram.
"And it's not like that's the only example we've got," Peter went on.
"Yeah, remember that anime convention we went to last year?" asked Chris.
The Griffin family walked through the outdoor part of the anime convention that had come to Quahog. Chris was dressed as Dragon Ball Z's Goku with an SSJ4 wig, looking even more gloriously stupid than usual. "Wow, this is so cool!" he exclaimed. "Look over there, it's Akira Toriyama himself! And look, they even have Shinji's Evangelion Unit 01 on display!" Chris cried out, pointing at a towering mech nearby.
But all of a sudden, Sakura Kinomoto (from Card Captor Sakura) ran up out of nowhere, having used the Big Card to grow to the same size as the Evangelion unit. The air was filled with screams of fear and confusion as everyone else fled, and Sakura proceeded to use her staff to repeatedly bash and smash the mech. It wasn't long before Sakura had beaten it into a worthless metal husk, and then she knocked it over and began jumping up and down on it, flattening it into the ground.
"Yeah, that was certainly weird," said Brian.
"At least no carbon-based lifeforms were harmed in that incident," said Stewie. "Brian, remember when we blew through New York on our last road trip?"
"Oh God, don't remind me," grumbled Brian, looking heavenward and shuddering at the memory.
On a street corner in the outskirts of New York City, Brian and Stewie stood with their thumbs out, patiently waiting for someone to stop. Eventually, the Turtle Van skids to a halt right beside them. "Uh, yeah," Stewie said tentatively, looking up at the Turtles. "Our rental car sort of needs a jump, and, ummm, we were wondering if you could lend us a hand."
"Uh, you see, any other time we'd be happy to," said Leonardo. "But right now, we're helping out a friend of ours, and we need to get her someplace quickly before...."
But a defeaning, feminine voice that echoed all around them cut Leonardo off. "Oh, what an adorable dog and baby!" Brian and Stewie slowly looked up, seeing a gigactic Irma (yeah, this is riffing the 80s Ninja Turtles toon, after all) looking down at them adoringly.
"OH MY GOD!" yelled Brian and Stewie together as they madly ran away from Irma.
Irma effortlessly steps over them, accidently stepping on their rental car in the process and causing it to go up in flames. "Wait a minute, don't be scared!" said Irma imploringly. But Brian and Stewie continued to run around aimlessly, screaming like little girl scouts. Since they were still staring up at Irma, they didn't see where they were going, and ended up running right into the flaming wreckage of their rental car.
"AHHH!" screamed Brian and Stewie, now running around while on fire. In desperation, Irma picked up a nearby dumptruck filled with sand and promptly dumped the sand on top of them. For several agonizing seconds, Irma and the Turtles just stared at the huge pile of sand; Brian and Stewie had yet to dig their way out. The Turtle Van drove off as Irma looked around all shifty-eyed. Seconds later, Irma sidled her way out of sight.
"That's enough, all of you!" snapped Lois angrily. "Look, I don't care how you all feel, or how much damage she'll potentially do...if Meg says she wants to stay here, then she's staying here! Besides, it's not like we can actually FORCE Meg to leave!"
The whole time, Meg had silently listened in. Listening to them insist it was a bad idea for her to stay almost made her lose it again, but Lois's outburst made her realize something. As long as she was like this, no one could tell her what to do anymore. And no one would give her any crap anymore, not unless they wanted to suffer the consequences. The sight of her family literally being at her feet now began to fill Meg with a heady sense of power. A wicked smile crossed Meg's face as all sorts of possibilities sprang to mind....
"Yeah, good point," Peter conceded. "But we've already got a gaping hole in the front of our house; don't go whining to me if she...."
"What? What is it?" asked Lois, noticing that something on the street had caught Peter's eye.
"Oh, I don't believe it," muttered Peter, running out of the backyard. Lois immediately followed. Meg watched them go, wondering what was going on. Eventually, Meg shrugged her shoulders and followed. It took Meg only three steps to reach the other side of the street, where Peter had confronted Ernie. Not the gay-ass Sesame Street puppet, but the big badass orange chicken we all know and love.
Ernie turned to his wife. "You see, Nicole? Why did I let you talk me into looking for a house to buy in this neighborhood?" he asked. "Here we are, minding our own business, and along comes Mr. I-Won't-Let-Anyone-Else-Pay-The-Check!"
"Uhh, twice I recall minding my own business when Mr. I-Give-Away-Expired-Coupons comes along and tries to kick my ass!" retorted Peter. It looked like their feud was about to heat up again. They lunged for each other, but were held back by their wives.
"Ernie, you promised!" implored Nicole, struggling to restrain him.
"Peter, not now!" Lois shrieked. "You've got more important things you can be doing! Meg needs a father more than ever!"
It was just then that Ernie became aware of the shadow Meh cast over the street. He looked up, syating at Meg with dumb shock. "Whoa, I heard you had a porky, effeminate son, but that's just ridiculous," he finally said to Peter. "What the hell do you feed this kid? I know the concepts of proper diet and exercise are lost on you, but don't you think you could encourage your son to have a better lifestyle?"
Meg glared angrily at Ernie as Lois held Peter back, who was struggling harder than ever. He had better be talking about Chris, she thought, one eye twitching. Being mistaken for a guy was getting a little old.
"I must apologize. He really shouldn't say that, not when you consider who we have for an adopted daughter," said Nicole.
"Huh?" said Meg, noticing something out of the corner of her eye. She turned to see someone else standing in the street, someone as tall as she was....
A gigantic teenage girl with bushy, flowing pink hair and glasses, wearing a traditional Japanese schoolgirl uniform. But what was most noticable about her was that she had kitty ears poking out from that mop of pink hair, along with a long pink tail. "So, you must be his daughter," Meg said hesitantly.
"That would be me," said the catgirl. "Name's Carolina."
"I'm Meg. Well, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has this...thing...." Meg said nervously. "So, were you, born like that?"
"Pretty much. Outgrew the orphanage's cradle before the month was out," said Carolina. "It's not all that bad though. Don't have to worry about cars or the price of gas for one thing; just a quick stroll and you can get pretty much anywhere. But you gotta worry about stepping on people, of course, and privacy's hard to come by...can hardly ever find a quiet moment to lick myself."
"Oh, OK...." Meg replied quickly, not sure how to respond to that.
Luckily, Meg's awkwardness was lost on Carolina. "Hey, you know what, you seem alright," said Carolina. "Didn't really know what to expect, after what I heard about your father and all."
"Well thanks, it's not often someone...." Meg began, at first overjoyed she had possibly made a new friend, but then the last part of that sentence clicked. "Whoa whoa, WHAT was that about my dad?"
"Just that he's always fighting with my dad, and anyone who reads newspapers would know about the dumb stuff he gets into, and...." Carolina replied.
"Hey shut up!" snarled Meg. "He may be a flatulent, retarded, neglectful son of a bitch but he's still my dad!" Meg was shocked by her own vehemence. A moment ago, she thought about teaching Peter to love HER gas. Now she was defending him? She realized she was stupid that way. Still, despite herself, Meg went on. "And need I remind you that MY dad kicked YOUR dad's ass three times in a row...FOUR, if you count that useless video game!"
"Oh yeah, I've seen that. Didn't look too bad," said Carolina calmly. "Wasn't that the one where your dad went on a rampage through Quahog because the idiot thought Mr. Belvedere kidnapped his family...oh, and showed possible hints of necrophilia on your part?" she finished with a sly grin.
That did it. Carolina had just crossed the line. Meg leered at Carolina dangerously, and the catgirl narrowed her eyes as well. Carolina looked ready to pounce on her. But right before she could....
"Wait wait wait, hold on a minute," Meg said all of a sudden, pulling out the case for her glasses and putting her specs safely inside.
"Yeah, lemme do that too," said Carolina, doing the same. "It's a real pain to get new ones made at our size, after all." The two gargantuan girls just stared at each other for a few seconds. "So...are we still gonna do this?"
Meg's reply was a vicious right hook that knocked Carolina flat on her ass. Her head smashed into the side of Cleveland's house, causing the front wall to crumble away and reveal Cleveland in the bathtub. "Aw damn, not again...." Cleveland drawled. Carolina sprang back on her feet almost immediately, however, and came back at Meg with a kick to her midsection. Meg doubled over, her arm falling onto Quagmire's garage, releasing about a dozen Asian women clad in nothing but lingerie.
Meg was soon back on her feet as well, and this ugly family feud got a whole lot messier.
Carolina came right at Meg with a flurry of punches, forcing her to walk backwards down the street. However, while being forced back, Meg was able to counter with a few quick jabs of her own, each one landing with a satisfying crunch against Carolina's skull.
However, both girls were completely unaware of the pandemonium they were causing down below. Panicked people fled in terror to avoid getting trampled. Cars swerved wildly to avoid their massive, crushing feet and oftentimes crashed right into houses. In addition, the two ended up stepping onto a lot of cars parked along the street, and also accidently kicking in walls or ripping off rooftops when their feet swung too low.
Carolina delivered a couple more punches to Meg's face, but Meg swiftly counterattacked by grabbing her shoulders and bashing into the catgirl's head with her own. Carolina backed away for a moment, dazed, but immediately lashed out again with claws outstretched. Meg brought up her arms to block her attack, and her claws slashed across her left forearm, drawing blood.
Meg fought back tears, doing her best to ignore the pain. She raised her fists threateningly while Carolina licked the blood off her claws, eager for another chance to pound that obnoxious catgirl's face in. Carolina let out a loud hiss, then lunged at Meg, tackling her. The two of them barrelled down the street like a giant steamroller, demolishing everything in their path. Eventually, they rolled right into Quahog's airport.
When they finally detangled themselves, Meg lashed out with another right hook, this time putting Carolina on the defensive. Meg forced her back with more punches, and Carolina ended up tripping over a fighter jet that had landed there. But then, there was the sound effect that every American who grew up in the 80s would know in an instant...the jet transformed into Starscream, who started firing laser blasts up at the girls. But Carolina slammed him to the ground with one punch, and both girls started stomping on Starscream together, which is unsurprising since no one ever liked the whiny little bitch anyway.
Once they were done stomping the useless Decepticon flat, they stared at their handiwork for a second. The fight resumed when Meg picked up Starscream's lifeless metal carcass and slapped Carolina around with it. Carolina quickly retaliated with a series of punches and jump kicks, forcing Meg off the runway.
Then something happened that made no sense, even for a fic like this. A huge flying saucer hovered directly over them, and the two girls were levitated inside. The saucer started to fly off, but their fight evidently went on, because the saucer shook violently and noisy crashes were heard from inside. Soon, explosions rocked the outside of the saucer and it plummetted back to Earth. It landed in another city near Quahog, rolling through the streets like a gigantic saw and levelling dozens of buildings. Once it rolled into the outskirts of the city, it finally came to a halt and fell over. Meg's mammoth body came crashing through the top of the saucer, and Carolina followed her out, bloodlust still in her eyes.
Meg wasn't about to stay down, however. As Carolina moved in, Meg lashed out with a kick to her face. Meg sprang up off the ground while Carolina was disoriented and looked around. The saucer had landed near some sort of junkyard, one that even had old school buses. There was also some steel cable lying around. Meg raised an eyebrow, an inspiration coming to her.
Meg quickly took two school buses and tied them together with the steel cable by their fenders, then did the same with another pair of buses. When Carolina finally got back up, she turned to see Meg holding a pair of improvised nunchakus. Meg decided to show off a little, making a flashy display of chucking them around. Her face was stoic and stony, silently daring Carolina to attack again.
Not to be outdone, Carolina improvised a weapon of her own. She grabbed a nearby tree and uprooted it, brandishing it like a staff. She leered back at Meg hatefully. "Now, prepare to get pwned!" she growled.
Meg stared back at the catgirl blankly. "'Pwned?'" she repeated. "What the hell is that? Isn't that spelled p-w-n-e-d? Doesn't that defy a whole bunch of rules of the English language?"
"Oh, it's Internet slang," replied Carolina. "It arose when someone misspelled 'owned'."
Suddenly, it dawned on Meg. "Oh, I get it! You're a Warcraft junkie! Nice to know I'm not the only girl in the world with no life."
Carolina let out a growl of animal fury as she came at Meg, swinging her tree. Meg deftly dashed aside to avoid it. She swung one of her bus-nunchakus, but Carolina brought up her tree-staff to block it. They stomped around the junkyard as they dueled with their weapons, neither giving the other an opening, neither of them giving any ground.
But at one point, Meg got careless. She clumsily swung at Carolina, who easily ducked and then brought the root end of her tree up into Meg's face. Meg fell, kicking up a huge cloud of dirt and machine parts. Carolina was on top of her before Meg could do anything, brandishing the claws on her left hand. Meg looked to her left, seeing one of her dropped bus-nunchakus, and reached for it.
Just as Carolina was swinging her hand down to slash Meg's face, a bus smashed into the side of Carolina's head. Carolina was knocked off of her, and Meg wasted no time. Meg pinned Carolina down and used her bus-nunchaku like a garrote, trying to choke the life out of the catgirl. After what seemed like forever, Carolina's body slumped limply to the ground, unmoving.
Meg stood up, breathing heavily, exhausted from her fight and aching all over. That was brutal. How does Dad manage all those fights with the chicken? she silently wondered, putting her glasses back on.
Just as that thought went through her head, she noticed a helicopter descending toward the junkyard...which looked like it was about to crash-land. And it did, but before crashing into a couple of buses and going up in flames, Peter and Ernie bailed out and rolled along the ground. Once they got up, they started punching and kicking each other, apparently oblivious of their daughters' presence.
Why am I not surprised? Meg thought to herself as she watched the fight down below. Ernie caught Peter off-guard by pecking him in the face, then knocked him backward a few feet with a quick left jab.
Even from her vantage point, Meg could see that her father wasn't doing too well. He didn't look like he'd last much longer, and Ernie was moving in for the kill.
Ernie smiled triumphantly over at his mortal enemy, fists at the ready. But his smug expression faded when he noticed a shadow had fallen over him. A quick glance around revealed it to be a hand-shaped shadow...and it was steadily getting smaller. Ernie finally looked up....
"PKAW!!!" was all Ernie got out before he was flattened underneath Meg's outstretched hand. Meg's hand smashed deep into the ground, creating a huge hand-shaped crater, and cracks spidered outward all around it.
The shockwave finally roused Peter, who stood up on wobbly legs. "Huh, what the hell?" he muttered, then noticed the hand-shaped crater right next to him.
"Don't worry Dad, your winning streak lives on," came Meg's thunderous voice from above. Peter looked up to see his gigantic daughter kneeling in front of him, looking mighty pleased with herself. "Looks like he did a number on you again, though."
"Damn Meg, you look like you've been through hell yourself," Peter noted, seeing Meg's bruised face and slashed forearm. "Wait a sec, that's right...what happened to this jackass's pet cat?"
Meg held up one of her bus-nunchakus and pulled the cable taut. "She wasn't much of a fighter either. You could say she...choked." Peter couldn't help but laugh at Meg's horrible pun, and Meg laughed along with him. In fact, her laugh sounded disturbingly like her father's. Eventually, Meg slowly lowered her outstretched hand down to the ground. "Come on, Dad, I'll give you a lift home," she said, motioning for him to climb on.
Peter stared at Meg's hand, hesitating for a moment. But finally, he climbed into the palm of her hand. Meg raised Peter up to her shoulder, and Peter jumped off there. He rode on her shoulder as Meg lumbered off back toward Quahog, leaving their enemies for dead.
But that was a mistake. Carolina's eyes snapped open just as Ernie climbed his way out of the hand-shaped crater. Both their eyes narrowed evilly. Needless to say, the family feud would rage on....