Disclaimer: The Metal Gear series and all related characters are the creation of the gaming genius Hideo Kojima and the property of Konami.

This is a story that was originally completed on 9-30-2007, and I'm now adding to this archive.

Snake took a good look around him, trying to get a feel for where they were and where the (hopefully final) giant girl might be. Wherever they were, the streets were eerily devoid any people as the New York scenario had been, and it was nearly sundown. Off in the distance, against the setting sun, Snake saw a strange tower. After staring for a few seconds, he thought he knew where they were. "Paris, France?" he asked Otacon.

"No, that's not the Eiffel Tower," Otacon said warily. "That's Toyko Tower."

"Huh? We're in Japan?" Snake asked. One quick glance at billboards and shop windows showed that this was indeed a Japanese city. Now he was really confused. None of the Metal Gear conspirators he had fought before were Japanese; the closest thing was Grey Fox when he came back as the Ninja. He wondered what the Japanese setting could mean. Then it hit him. "Oh no, this has something to do with those crappy Japanese cartoons you watch, doesn't it?" he demanded.

"Uh, you got it," said Otacon blankly.

Snake shook his head. He had no idea what kind of stupid anime character this program was supposed to have and he was afraid to find out. "Great, it wasn't enough that you use old partners and enemies, your own stepsister and Big Boss's mentor, but now...." Loud booming noises cut Snake off. Snake listened carefully, trying to figure out which direction the next giantess was coming from. He then realized they were coming from multiple directions, as if surrounding him. "Great, thrown into the thick of things already!? How do...."

Suddenly, something stepped out from between two buildings, but it wasn't a giant anime girl at all. It was something he had seen before...but it wasn't any more welcome. It was another Metal Gear Rex.

"What the hell!?" exclaimed Snake, not believing his eyes. More crashing footfalls from behind them made him turn around. Another Metal Gear was stomping down the street, this one the Gander model, its flamethrower 'mouth' open and already spewing fire. Not only that, the smaller TX-55 and D models were stepping out of alleys on either side.

Snake look around in disbelief at the bipedal tanks. "All four?" he muttered. "All four AT ONCE?!!"

"Um, well...." Otacon began.

"Oh well, at least I know what to do against these," Snake said as he once again pulled his stinger missile launcher out from God-knows-where. He targeted Rex's radome, noticing the disturbingly phallic laser cannon on its underbelly was taking aim at him too.

But just as Snake was about to fire, a deafening loud, commanding voice rang out: "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!"

"Who in the...." Snake began as he looked around. Then his face fell when he noticed something, or rather someone else, was stepping out into the street. "Oh Christ...Otacon, please tell me this is a joke."

Now, standing in the street with them and the four Metal Gears, was the titanic form of a giant Sailor Moon in her 'Super' form.

Snake stared at her, mouth hung open in disbelief. Otacon was staring too, though, of course, for entirely different reasons. "Bipolar tanks hauling terrible weapons, stomping through the peaceful streets at night, ready to wreak havoc!? I won't forgive you!!" screamed the towering, blond magical girl.

"Uhh, it's 'bipedal' tank," Otacon corrected.

Sailor Moon scratched her head. "Oh. Uh, whoops," she said sheepishly, then let out a nervous laugh.

Snake shook his head, still not believing what was going on. "Sailor Moon. Freaking, goddamn Sailor Moon," he grumbled. Thankfully, the Metal Gears which had been focused on him now turned on the larger - MUCH larger - threat. Snake could hear missiles being armed and the clacking of machine guns fixing on their target.

"Oh no you don't!" screeched Sailor Moon, loud enough to make the windows of nearby cars rattle.. She took out some weird mace with a heart at the end, crouched down and started to spin in place. "RAINBOW...MOON...."

"Snake...DUCK AND COVER!!!" bellowed Otacon. He grabbed Snake and threw him down onto the pavement.

"HEARTACHE!!!" Sailor Moon finished. Snake looked up from the street, but at first all he could see was dazzling, pink light. Then he made out what looked like several long chains of little pink hearts going every which way, along with one huge-ass heart flying down the street. There was another blinding flash, and the sound of explosions rang in his ears. But when the light faded and Snake looked around, all that remained were the charred, mangled, twisted forms of the four Metal Gears.

One thought went through Snake's head: "I've got to get one of those!" he thought aloud. Then he noticed Otacon's quizzical stare. "What?"

"You've told me more than once that you thought if you had spy gadgets from Bond movies, you'd look like a fool. But you'd use something out of one of the girliest TV shows ever spawned?" he asked dubiously.

"Hmmm, good point," said Snake simply.

"Yay, I got them! I got them all!" thundered Sailor Moon, who began hopping up and down in delight. Unfortunately for Snake and Otacon, she made a huge tremor each time her huge feet smashed down into the road; deep cracks were even forming in the pavement. The tremors knocked the two off their feet, and they couldn't stand back up until Sailor Moon finally stopped hopping.

As Snake stood up, he was aware of the huge, long shadow cast over them. He looked up to see Sailor Moon bending over, gazing down at them. "Awww, you two look sooooo cute!" she cooed.

She then reached down as if to pick them up, but Snake immediately raised his launcher. "Back off, bitch!" Snake cried out.

"Uhh, Snake, that may not be the best way...." Otacon began, but Snake cut him off.

"SHUT UP! I've had it with this program of yours!" Snake shot back, his frustration filling him with rage. "I can't take any more of these sick, creepy little fantasies of yours...so let's blow this thing and go home!" And with that, Snake let a missile fly. It flew right at Sailor Moon's forehead, exploding as it hit her tiara.

"YEOW!" she screamed as she stumbled backward and fell, a few cars getting crushed underneath her titanic ass. "Ohh, you two are so mean!" yelled Sailor Moon, and then she let out a horrible, horrible wail that was so loud, it shattered nearly every window of every building on the street.

Snake and Otacon covered their ears in a vain attempt to block out the awful noise. Otacon was saying something; Snake couldn't possibly hear him, but he could read his lips and knew he said, "Nice going, Snake." Snake grimaced as the wailing went on. Finally, though, it stopped. "She's getting up now. Snake, we'd better move. Thankfully, I threw in another something that'll help us get away."

Snake looked back over to Sailor Moon, who was slowly starting to rise. "Huh? Oh what, not the ice cream truck again...."

"Err, no, I think you'll like this better," said Otacon. He took off toward and alley and Snake quickly followed, spurned on by the annoyed look on Sailor Moon's face.

"Oh, you two need to be taught a lesson. In the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!" she said as she finally rose to her full height, glaring down at Snake.

"That's our cue to MOVE!" cried Otacon imploringly. Snake turned and followed him, and soon they came across what looked like a massive, olive-green jeep with some sort of grenade launcher mounted on the back. Of course, we can all tell it's a Warthog from Halo 2. "Snake, use the cannon to keep her from breathing down our necks," he said as he started up the Warthog. "Hang on, we're outta here!"

The Warthog backed out of the alley, going right underneath Sailor Moon's legs. Once out on the street, Otacon floored it and sped away from Sailor Moon at top speed. "Hey, get back here!!" she thundered as she took off after them, each footstep making the ground quake.

Snake knew the Warthog was going at top speed, but still it looked as if Sailor Moon was catching up. He stared up dumbly at their persuer, but thankfully Otacon snapped him out of it by yelling, "What are you waiting for!? Use the cannon! SHOOT!!!"

Sailor Moon was almost on top of them. Panicking, Snake took the controls and aimed the Gauss Cannon up at her face. He fired once, and the impact made Sailor Moon cry out and stumble back a little. Snake fired another shot at her midsection, and she stumbled into the side of a building, clutching her stomach. But it wasn't long before she was running after them again.

"Otacon, this isn't exactly the most messed-up thing I've been through all day, but it pretty damn close," Snake spat as he took aim at Sailor Moon again. "And just WHY did you have to use Sailor Moon!? I thought you were obsessed with those stupid mecha anime things?"

"You caught me, I have a weakness for shojo anime too," Otacon admitted. "But I wonder...how come YOU knew who she was?"

Except for Sailor Moon's booming footfalls, there was silence for a few seconds. "OK, now you got me. One day while still in Alaska, I was bored out of my mind and channel flipping and came across it. I still can't believe I sat through the whole damn thing."

"Neither can I. You must've seen that butchered English version, which ruined everything," said Otacon. "For example, Uranus and Neptune were cousins in the dub, but in the original, they were...."

"Otacon, will you just SHUT THE HELL UP AND DRIVE!?" Snake screamed as he aimed another shot at Sailor Moon's knee and fired. "Good God, how anyone can stand the ranting of anime freaks like you, I'll never know...."

Despite Snake's best efforts, Sailor Moon was once again getting too close for comfort. Otacon powerslid around a corner, and a second later Sailor Moon rounded the corner as well, or at least tried to. As any self-respecting otaku knows, our dear Usagi Tsukino is a bonafide klutz, with all the grace and poise of a rhinocerous high on crack. So it's no surprise that she slipped and fell, crashing into the side of a building. Thus, Snake and Otacon now had a little breathing room.

"Ugh, how the hell do we put her down for good?" grumbled Snake as he watched Sailor Moon get back up. "I landed at least a dozen direct hits and she doesn't even look winded!"

"Of course not. If you had watched the whole series, you'd see just how much punishment these girls can take," said Otacon. "There's no way to take her out with the weapons you've got. But...I've added a couple new weapons in this scenario that'll work, and we're headed to where the first one is."

"Fine. What is it?" asked Snake.

"Well, it's like another stinger missile launcher, only instead of missiles it shoots huge rocket-propelled tranquilizer darts. Stick her in the head with enough of those, and she'll be sleeping like a baby for hours."

At this point, Sailor Moon was only a couple hundred feet behind them. Snake aimed the Gauss cannon, but Otacon said, "No, don't push her back too much! We want her to follow us!" Otacon then powerslid around another corner, Sailor Moon still in hot pursuit.

Sanke was miraculously able to keep Sailor Moon at bay long enough for them to reach their destination: the Juuban Park. One last well-aimed shot at Sailor Moon's face drove her back, and the Warthog tore through the park. Snake caught sight of it well before Otacon pointed it out: a huge, long, floating, rotating box that could only contain the weapon he needed.

Otacon pulled up right next to it, and Snake immediately jumped out and fished the tranquilizer launcher out of the box. "Snake, think you can handle her on your own?"

Snake's first thought was, Of COURSE I can handle her on my own. I'd BETTER be able to. But aloud, he asked, "Why? Where are you going?"

"To get the OTHER launcher should you run out of ammo for this one. There's some more ammo scattered around the park, but I don't know if it'll be enough to knock her out. If you run out, head for the Tokyo Tower. I'll be waiting there." And with that, Otacon took off.

"Hey wait! What're you...." But loud rumbling cut him off. Snake turned in the direction of the noise, and saw Sailor Moon wading through trees that only came up to her waist. All the while, her gaze never wavered from Snake.

"Well, here we go," Snake muttered as he readied one of the darts.

"Eh?" was all Snake said, the launcher shaking in his arms, the scope's crosshairs wavering.

Sailor Moon shook her head. "Nope, can't stay angry at you. You're just so cute!" she exclaimed, her smiling face beaming. "I just wanna hug you and snuggle you; you'd be like a little pet!" And with that, she reached down to grab him again.

"Oh no!!" screamed Snake. Panicking, he fired a dart right up into her palm.

Sailor Moon screeched and quickly pulled her hand away. While she was distracted, Snake readied another dart and fired it at her head. "OWW!!" exclaimed Sailor Moon as her hand went for the side of her head, pulling out the dart. However, she looked as fresh and alert as ever.

Two hits so far, and one to the head, but she doesn't look the least bit tired yet. Otacon wasn't kidding about needing to stick her with a whole mess of darts.... Snake then realized that there weren't many missiles left on his person, the box had only contained so many. Great, running out of ammo already, he thought as he readied another one.

However, before he could even take aim, Sailor Moon raised her foot and slammed it down hard. She didn't stomp on Snake, but she planted her foot down a few feet from him, the impact knocking him off his feet. Snake regathered his wits just in time to see Sailor Moon's hand coming for him yet again. He quickly ducked and rolled underneath her legs, then brought his launcher up as he ran backwards. Once he had locked onto her head, he let it fly, and it planted itself on the tip of her nose.

"OWWW!! Again!? Oh, I've always hated getting shots!" thundered Sailor Moon as she pulled the missile out of her nose. However, Snake noticed she was starting to look a little groggy; perhaps only a few more doses would knock her out?

Snake looked around frantically for more ammo. It was getting dark, but in the twilight, Snake could spot a few floating boxes here and there. He dashed for the nearest one, praying it had more missiles, but he found was fragmentation grenades. He then ran for another one, but all it had were landmines.

"Hey!! Where'd you go!?" came Sailor Moon's deafening voice. Snake glanced back up, seeing that Sailor Moon was looking all around the park. At first, Snake wondered why she hadn't spotted him, but then he realized that with the sun setting, he must be hard to make out from her vantage point.

Hmmm, this gives me an idea, Snake thought as he took out his USP and began shooting all the lampposts, making him even harder to spot. Then he took out his claymore mines and started to systematically plant them around the park. Once that was done, he armed another missile, targeted her head, and fired.

The noise from the missile immediately made Sailor Moon glance down in Snake's direction, but she was too late to stop it from nailing her in the forehead, injecting her with even more tranquilizer. "Brrr," shuddered Sailor Moon as she pulled it out and shook her head, as if to ward off sleepiness. "Oooh, will you stop it with those things!?" she demanded as she stomped toward Snake. But she could only take a few steps before she set off a whole mess of claymores, filling the air with a cacophony of explosions punctuated by her crying out in surprise. "Oww!!! Hey! What the!?" she cried out as she comically danced around, vainly trying to avoid the mines.

"Heh heh," Snake muttered with a grin as he locked onto Sailor Moon's head. Unfortunately, this time, the missile bounced harmlessly off her tiara. Even worse, it looked like all the mines had been stepped on. Snake looked around desperately. That had been his last missile. He finally spotted another box a few feet away and he went right for it. Snake breathed a sigh of relief as he opened it, seeing another five missiles full of tranquilizer.

But his relief was short-lived. A thunderous crash right beside him knocked him flat on his face, and the missiles all fell out and rolled to a stop along the park's walkway. Snake looked up, seeing that Sailor Moon had planted her foot right next to him again, and she was leering down at him with a devilish grin. "I don't think so, Snakey. I think I'll be staying up late tonight."

Sailor Moon raised her foot and slowly brought it down again, this time onto the missiles lying on the ground. Snake's heart sank as he heard the crunch of breaking glass. When she lifted her foot again, Snake saw the tranquilizer lying uselessly in puddles on the concrete Great. NOW what do I do!? Snake thought hopelessly as Sailor Moon started to bend down again, hand outstretched.

Just when it seemed all hope was lost, Snake heard something crash nearby, and the sound of roaring flames accompanied it. Both Snake and Sailor Moon turned to see what it was; the flaming wreckage of a plane was skidding to a halt near them, and it had already set many of the trees on fire. And out from the burning trees came two figures: some morbidly obese guy with brown hair and glasses and some big orange chicken. They were ruthlessly punching and kicking each other (the chicken also occassionally pecked at the man's face) and the chicken was forcing the fat man back, toward Snake and the colossal Sailor Senshi.

"Just what in the hell are they doing!?" exclaimed Snake, now more confused than ever. At least Sailor Moon was distracted now, too busy watching the man and the chicken duke it out to pay attention to him. Then, in the light from the fire, Snake noticed that there was one missile Sailor Moon hadn't crushed, right beside the sole of her boot.

Snake ran to get it just as the man was forced back, right underneath Sailor Moon. It was then that the two finally seemed aware of the towering magical girl, and looked up...right up Sailor Moon's skirt.

Blank shock was etched on both their features. "Whoa, those are some big ass panties," said the fat guy.

Sailor Moon let out a deafening shriek of indignation that had all three little people on the ground covering their ears. "ECCHI!!!" she shrieked as she pulled back one leg. Then, with one swift kick, she booted the fat man and the chicken clear across the horizon. The "PKAW!" of the chicken could be heard for several seconds before it faded away.

"What...was that!?" demanded Sailor Moon, shrugging her shoulders and looking down at Snake.

"Don't know and don't care," said Snake, shrugging his shoulders as well. "I've stopped trying to figure out all the random crap that's been happening."

"And...and why were they fighting?" Sailor Moon asked curiously. "And come to think of it, why are WE fighting?"

"Uhhh, I think it's because you want to glomp me to death and I'm just trying to get out of this VR program in one piece," said Snake.

"Oh. Oh yeah," said Sailor Moon, letting out a sheepish laugh. "Well, I guess we should continue, then."

"Yes, we should," said Snake flatly. Then he brought up his launcher and fired the last missile at her head.

"OUCH!!" she shrieked, and this time she fell flat on her ass. But Snake didn't dare hope that that last dose of tranquilizer meant the end of his troubles; he could already see Sailor Moon was trying to get back up. He knew he had a a few seconds to spare, though, so he turned on his Codec and called Otacon.

"You're in luck. I just got to the second launcher and cache of ammo," said Otacon calmly. "Just haul ass over to the Tokyo Tower like I said before. I'll be there, waiting at the top."

"The top!?" Snake said incredulously, but the stern look on Otacon's face let him know he shouldn't argue with him. But there was another nagging little detail. "And how am I supposed to get there without her catching me and glomping me to death!?"

"I think you already know," replied Otacon.

"Aw hell," Snake grumbled as the Codec screen blinked out.

Unfortunately, being extra cautious, and the fact that he had to almost come to a complete stop to get around corners, gave Sailor Moon plenty of opportunities to catch up. Whenever it seemed Snake had a lead, he had to slow down and thus gave her a chance to close the distance between them.

"Hee hee, I'm gonna getcha!" Sailor Moon's sweet voice boomed as she tried to scoop him up, missing Snake by only inches as he ran away.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," muttered Snake as he ran. Off in the distance, he could see it: Tokyo Tower.

Snake sped away from the giant Senshi, coming to a corner. Since she was still quite a distnace away, Snake took the opportunity to plant his remaining claymores around the corner. He sped off again, and far behind him, he heard some explosions, a yelp of surprise, and finally, a loud crash.

"Heh heh, I got you," Snake said with a grin as he ran straight ahead. At long last, he had reached the entrance to Tokyo Tower. Unfortunately, he didn't slow down in time and crashed right through the front door. "Owww," Snake grumbled as he slowly got back up. The ground wasn't quaking, but he instinctively knew Sailor Moon would be there any minute. It took a while, but he finally found an elevator. He got in and hit the button for the top, almost breaking it.

After what seemed like forever, the elevator door opened. Snake wearily stepped out and looked around. The view at sundown was quite spectacular, and Snake let himself relax for a moment and admire it. But suddenly the whole tower shook.

"Oh damnit, NOW what!?" Snake thought aloud angrily. He ran to the edge and looked over. "Oh hell no."

Not only had Sailor Moon reached Tokyo Tower, she was actually climbing it!

"Oh no no NO!!!" Snake cried out. Is there any stopping her!? And just where the fuck is Otacon!? He said he'd meet me here!! In desperation, Snake took out a grenade, pulled the pin, and tossed it down at Sailor Moon. It exploded right in her face, but it barely slowed her down. Snake was breaking into a nervous sweat as he threw more and more grenades down at her, but they proved just as useless, barely making her flinch. All the while, she climbed higher and higher.

"Where IS he!?" he cried out in desperation as he threw down his last grenade. Once again, it went off in her face. She flinched, and then shook the Tokyo Tower violently. Snake lost his balance and fell. He got back up and pulled out his M16, desperate for any way to slow up Sailor Moon. But when he peered over the edge, Sailor Moon was nowhere to be seen. "The hell?" he thought aloud, confused. She obviously hadn't fallen, otherwise there would've been a massive tremor. So where did she go?

"PEEK-A-BOO!" bellowed a sweet, thunderous voice that seemed to come from everywhere.

Snake looked around frantically, and saw that to his left was Salior Moon's huge face, so close that he saw himself reflected in her pupils. For a second, Snake was paralyzed with shock, and that lapse cost him. Before he could even raise his weapon, Sailor Moon grabbed him, squeezing him so tightly Snake felt like his head would pop off.

"Ha ha, I finally caught you!" she beamed at Snake. She then began nuzzling him against her cheek, pressing him so tightly against it he thought he'd be squashed flat. "Aw, like I said, just an adorable little pet!"

"Oh Christ, this is it," Snake gasped as the crushing pressure increased. Game...OVER!! Otacon, you little lying shit.. you said you'd....

Snake's thoughts trailed off, though, when a loud noise cut through the night air: helicopter blades. Snake forced himself to open his eyes. Hovering right next to the tower was a Kasatka...and the side door swung open to reveal Otacon brandishing the other traquilizer launcher.

"No," said Sailor Moon as she stared blankly at the Kasatka while Snake paryed with all his might that Otacon knew how to handle one of those. Luckily, it looked like he did; a single missile flew through the night, heading right for Sailor Moon's head and scoring a direct hit.

"OWWW! Uhhn, feel so dizzy," mumbled Sailor Moon, relinquishing her grip on Snake and letting him drop back down to the platform. Snake wasted no time running up to the Kasatka, leaping off the platform and into the helicopter.

"What the hell TOOK YOU SO LONG!?" Snake demanded as he grabbed the launcher from Otacon.

"Well, I'll admit, I was kinda distracted by how paradoxical it is for such a hardened mercenary to be so freaked out by one teenage girl," Otacon said with a grin.

It took every ounce of willpower Snake had to not put Otacon into a chokehold and snap his neck. "Just get back up front and pilot this thing! I just know that if we stay in one spot too long she'll...."

Snake's words were indeed prophetic, for Otacon flew the Kasatka away just before Sailor Moon would've grabbed it. Snake stood by the opened door, readying a missile for when he had another clean shot. Otacon started flying around Tokyo Tower while Sailor Moon climbed around it, keeping the Kasatka in her sights, as if she was waiting for something too. "What's she up to now?" Snake asked as he targeted her head again.

Snake got his answer when Sailor Moon reached for her tiara. "SNAKE, HANG ON!" Otacon yelled as the Kasatka lunged forward.

A resounding cry of "MOON TIARA ACTION!" cut through the night as her tiara, now a blazing disc of energy, was hurled at the Kasatka. Otacon had taken evasive action just in time, barely evading her tiara, and he had to lunge forward again to avoid it as it returned to Sailor Moon like a boomerang.

"I bet Slasher Hawk would've loved something like that," said Snake bemusedly as he took aim at her head again. Once he had a lock, he fired, scoring yet another hit, but Sailor Moon still seemed a ways off from being knocked out for good. "Ugh, how much more will it take!?" Snake demanded vehemently.

"Just keep with it," said Otacon reassuringly as Sailor Moon violently shook her head. "It shouldn't be too much...."

Snake looked over to the pilot's seat, wondering why Otacon's words trailed off. He then heard the sound of ANOTHER helicopter, a second before he saw it. A Hind D was flying aimlessly toward Tokyo Tower, and dangling from the bottom by their legs was the fat guy and the chicken from earlier. And lo and behold, they were still punching away with wild abandon, with the chicken still pecking at the guy's face from time to time.

Even worse, they were confusing the Hind's pilot, and its weapons were being aimlessly fired everywhere. But in defiance of every law of anime known to man, all the machine gun fire and missiles missed Toyko Tower entirely. Instead, they struck nearby buildings, causing many of them to collapse. "What the...they're causing more collateral damage than we are!!" Snake exclaimed, getting fed up with all the inane randomness.

"Oh, enough is enough," said Sailor Moon, obviously feeling the same way. She reached for her tiara again. "MOON TIARA ACTION!"

The deadly disc sliced through the Hind D, blowing it up instantly and causing the fat guy and the chicken to fall to the street below. The fat guy landed into a conveniently parked garbage truck. He got out, brushed himself off, and calmly walked away. But neither Sailor Moon or Snake saw that the supposedly dead chicken, who had landed on the street, opened his eyes and leered evilly at the fat guy.

"I just didn't get ANY of that!" yelled Sailor Moon. "What was the point of all that!?"

"Hey, ask Otacon! He programmed the damn thing!" Snake hollered from the Kasatka.

"Ugh, there'd just better not be anything else that stupid," said Sailor Moon. But wouldn't you know it, there was. Some dog in a banana suit and holding a pair of maracas had shown up on the platform, yelled "IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" and started dancing while singing some nonsensical song. Sailor Moon and Snake stared blankly at the dog for a few seconds, until Sailor Moon had had enough of this too. Her face contorted into a scowl as she knocked the dog away with a flick of her finger. "What was that, Snoopy or something?" she asked. "Do I even really want to know what that was all about?"

"Probably not. Just about all the stuff I've seen in these VR programs is stuff I'd could've lived without knowing," Snake replied.

"Ah. Oh, well, maybe we should just get back to what we were doing before?" Sailor Moon offered.

"With pleasure," Snake said nastily as he peered through the launcher's scope.

"HEY!! No you don't!!" Sailor Moon cried out as she reached for her tiara again. It began powering up just as the sensors had a lock on Sailor Moon's head. "Moon Tiara...."

"Hurry Snake!" Otacon pleaded. "I may not be able to avoid it again!" But as Otacon said that, Snake had already pulled the trigger just as Sailor Moon shouted "ACTION!" and hurled her tiara.

The Kasatka lurched and Snake was slammed against the floor. As exhausted as he was, it took quite a while to pick himself back up. "Ugh, we're still alive?" Snake asked dubiously as he stood back up on wobbly legs.

"Do you see a light at the end of a tunnel? If you don't, then yes," said Otacon flatly.

Snake let out a groan. "I won't knock you senseless for that. I'll wait until you land the Kasatka, THEN I'll knock you senseless," he said tersely. "But wait a minute, what about Sailor Moon? Did we...."

"Take a look for yourself," was all Otacon said. Snake did as he was bid and looked back at the tower. Sailor Moon was still clinging to the side of the Tokyo Tower, but her head was bobbing and eyes were half-closed. Snake then got a good look on her face, and it looked as if she would nod off any second.

And then, it happened. Sailor Moon let go of the tower and fell. Snake leaned out of the Kasatka to watch her unconscious form slowly recede from view until she crashed into the street below, creating the loudest booming crash yet. Snake even SAW the Tokyo Tower shake slightly and he clearly heard the shattering of windows down below at street level, even over the noise from the helicopter blades.

"I think we got her," said Otacon coyly as the Kasatka began its descent.

"What do you mean by 'we'? I did all the heavy lifting!" Snake spat indignantly.

Otacon sighed, but said nothing more as the Kasatka descended toward Sailor Moon's unconscious body. Sailor Moon had landed flat on her back, and as the helicopter got lower, Snake could see how her body had embedded itself deep into the concrete, with deep cracks spidering out everywhere. Cars were upturned, windows were shattered, and lampposts and telephone poles had been bent or snapped by the impact her fall had created. But amazingly, she was still alive. Snake could clearly see Sailor Moon's chest rising and falling, and then there was her face...she had a goofy, carefree smile and there was that anime-style bubble coming out of her nose and everything.

But most importantly, Snake saw the exit point had appeared right on top of Sailor Moon's brooch.

Otacon carefully landed the Kasatka on Sailor Moon's belly. Snake wearily stepped out, almost losing his footing thanks to the softness of her fuku's fabric and the rythmic rising and falling due to her breathing. He kept a tight grip on his launcher, in case Sailor Moon poked her head up and she needed another shot of tranquilizer. But no such thing happened as Snake and Otacon made their way across her body.

Snake stared up at the exit point, then turned and glared at Otacon. "Are you SURE this was the last scenario!?" he asked fervently, thinking it was too good to be true.

"Yeah, I'm p-pretty sure," Otacon replied wearily. "I've been thinking and thinking, and I just can't remember adding any other giant girls. I'm sure Sailor Moon was the last one I programmed in."

Snake looked back up toward the exit point. "You had better be right. Otherwise I just might have to snap a certain pencil neck...." And with that, the two made their way up and across her, ahem, chest area and ran into the exit point, dematerializing instantly.