The sun shines through my kitchen windows as I awake. Oh shit. I’m still 1/8th of an inch tall in the bottom of a shot glass. I look up and see my ex Anna walking around my kitchen. God, my back hurts. Don’t sleep on a glass bed, my recommendation to you. The smell of coffee fills the room as Anna appears to be making breakfast. She walks past me and looks down at me as I begin to wake.

“Oh, you’re finally up. Elana said she’s coming over soon, remember? Better get ready.”

What is Anna up to? I should get ready for what?

While she moves around the kitchen cooking, we soon hear a car pull up and turn off. Anna wraps her hand around my shot glass and places me up on top of the refrigerator. My spare key turns in the front door lock as Elana lets herself in. I see her close the door behind her and lock the door again. She turns as Anna runs to her and grabs her, giving her friend the biggest hug.

“What the hell!? Anna, you’re big again! Are you okay?” Elana seems very shocked by the embrace from her friend.

“Yeah, in the middle of the night, I unshrunk for some reason! Don’t know why, I’m just happy to be normal again. That was crazy fun last night, wasn’t it?”

I see Elana stunned. “I’m glad you thought we were having fun, I hope you’re not mad at me. Is your buddy okay?”

“Oh, that little guy, yeah, he’s fine. He’s just sleeping away in the capsule in his bedroom. We chatted all night, things are fine. Want some coffee?”

Elana smiles. “Yeah, sure, I’d love some. Lemme run to the bathroom for a sec, I’ll be right out.”

She walks into my bathroom and closes the door. Anna walks over to the coffee pot and fills up a mug. She looks up at me and winks. Oh no. Anna pulls the other shrinking pill from her pocket and cracks it open above the mug. The powder falls into the coffee, and she grabs a spoon to stir it around.

Elana exits the bathroom. “Here’s some coffee. Need any creamer or sugar?”

“No, black is fine, thank you.”

Well, shit. Anna has tiny me and a soon-to-be tiny Elana. She stares at Elana nodding, smiling. This can’t be good.

“Good coffee, thanks. Do you want to go check on the tiny guy, or…”

“No, I think he’s fine. Drink some more. I’ve already had two cups. I think he buys super expensive coffee. Want any bacon?”

Elana drinks some more coffee. “Yeah, I can tell. I never drink Starbucks coffee because it always tastes burnt. This is great. Is like a dark or medium roast, or like... ugh.” She places the nearly empty mug down on the kitchen counter. “I feel kinda weird. Sorry. No bacon for me, not really feeling...”

“Not really feeling like what, Elana? Feeling normal? Like you’re about to be shrunk down? LIke your good friend that you humiliated last night put a shrinking pill in your coffee?”

I stand in my shot glass powerless to help poor Elana. She coughs twice, and then shrinks down. I can see nothing but a small black speck on the floor of my kitchen. Anna turns to me and smiles.

“Wait, what, where’s Elana? Where did she go?”

Anna walks around the tiny girl, her pale feet stomping down next to Elana. She turns back to me and grabs the shot glass from off the fridge. She brings me down back to the now little Elana and turns the glass upside down, and I slide down to the floor next to her.

The 1/8th of an inch tall Elana runs to me and grabs me. “What the fuck, what’s happening?! I’ve never been shrunk before, I hate this, how can we stop this?”

I want to tell her there’s nothing we can do, but before I even open my mouth, Anna slams her right foot directly in front of us. We both fall backwards and gaze up at her massive big toe. The smell from her foot surrounds our little bodies, and Elana runs back to me and hugs me tighter. Anna’s foot rises, and she walks in a circle around us, her massive feet crashing down, nearly knocking us over, the hardwood floors creaking with every step.

Anna stops and leans down. “You know what sucks? I have to crush you two. If you two grew back to normal size, you’d come for me. Attack me physically or sue me or something I don’t want. But if you’re tiny red specks on the bottom of my foot, no one will ever know. Payback time, you little assholes. Sorry. Kinda.”

Is this it?  Well, shit. Anna places her right foot over us, her gigantic long toes only an inch above our small bodies. Suddenly, we hear a knock at the door.

Anna’s foot slides away from us. She quietly says down to us, “Stay there, you little fucks. Don’t move, I’ll be back.”

She retreats from the kitchen to answer my front door. “Anna, oh hey! You unshrunk. Shit, are you okay? I hope you’re not mad about yesterday.”

It’s Emily’s voice, her other friend. Anna laughs. “No, you two were just playing with me. I’m fine.”

“Thank God. I felt bad about it, that’s why I came back. To apologize and check up on you. Where’s your ex?”

“Oh, him, he’s at the grocery, he’ll be back later.”

While Anna is lying to Emily, I grab Elana and run. We’re stuck on the kitchen floor, with not many hiding places, as far as I can see. A ways away is the refrigerator. Let’s head towards that. I grab Elana’s trembling arm and go.

While in full sprint with Elana, Emily asks Anna, “Hey, I smell coffee, mind if I grab a cup?”

Anna responds, “Of course, follow me.”

The two giant women walk from my front door into the kitchen. Anna’s massive bare feet crash down behind us, followed by Emily’s. She’s wearing slim black flip flops. With every step, her shoes smack against her soles, making the loudest clapping sound. Elana and I press ourselves against the kitchen island to avoid being crushed by these two giantesses. They both stop near my coffee maker three feet from us. We stop to look up at them, but swiftly turn to continue our journey to the fridge.

Anna pours Emily a cup of coffee (luckily, she’s out of shrinking pills, no more victims) as she plays nice with her, pretending like there aren’t two little humans on the ground near her feet. Suddenly, a spoon falls down to the floor a few inches from Elana and I.

“Oops, clumsy me!”

Anna bends over to grab the spoon and epies us running away. She looks at us and smiles, shaking her head. She quickly rises and smashes her left foot directly in between us and the fridge. Her little white pinky toenail stands before us and blocks our path.

“Fuck!” Elana yells. “Now what? Jesus, we’re screwed. We can’t stay here, we’re going to get crushed under your ex-girlfriend’s feet. Wait, what if we go hide somewhere on Emily’s flip flops and escape? We’ll grow back eventually, right? We can just get the fuck out of this apartment and hide until we’re unshrunk.”

Anna’s left foot rises and comes back down, pushing us back an inch. We stand back up and look up at her gleefully staring down at us.

“Elana, you’re right. We gotta try it. Let’s go!”

“Good coffee. Nice. What are you up to today?” Emily engages Anna in conversation as Elana and I run to Emily’s right foot. It rests steady on the ground as she leans back against the kitchen island enjoying her cup of coffee, and she chats with my ex.

We make it to the middle of her flip flop. It’s only maybe twice our height. We can climb it up, but then what? Elana doesn’t care, she grabs a hold of the wall of soft black foam and starts climbing. I follow her lead and head up as well. We make it to the surface of the flip flop and stare at the pale flesh of Emily’s foot. To our left is her heel. To the right are her toes. Elana says nothing as she runs full speed to the toes.

“Elana, what’s your plan, what are you thinking, maybe we should…”
“Shut up! Follow me!” she screams back at me.

The two giantesses above chat away about trivial nonsense as the two tiny people below are attempting to escape death. As we head further down Emily’s foot, Elana stops and points.

“Look, on Emily’s second toe. A toe ring! If we can make it to that, look at all the little grooves on it. We could grab on somewhere and get the fuck outta here.”

Well, hell, that might work. Elana stops running and tries to jump up on the right side of Emily’s right foot. She slides back down to the flip flop.

“It’s still too high. We need to jump onto her pinky toe, then head across her foot to that toe ring. I’ve done this before.”

Elana nods at me, and we return to our sprint. Right as we hit her pinky toe, Emily’s toes lift up and fall down, pushing us both to the edge of her flip flop.

“Fuck!” Elana yells. “Let’s go!”

We rise and jump onto her pinky nail and scramble up it to the toe. Elana and I head across the soft skin of the top of Emily’s foot, past the other smaller toes, and reach her long second toe, her toe ring just an inch away from us.

“Well, I’d better be heading out. Doing some house cleaning today. Glad you’re not mad at me. Do you think he’s going to take that shrinking pill knowing what he put your through? I know you said he likes being tiny and crawling around on feet, but, man, I’d be scared of you if I was that size.”

Anna laughs. “I think he might like it enough to take the risk.”

“Ha, well, you two have fun. Actually, thinking about it, I wouldn’t mind having a tiny guy crawling over my feet either! Smell my feet, little guy. Clean my toenails. That doesn’t sound bad at all. Ha! Okay, later Anna, glad you’re back to normal.”

The two giantess laugh as Elana and I near the toe ring. We jump up on it and both luckily find little barbs to grab onto. Not soon after, Emily’s feet step away from the kitchen and head out my front door. I look over at Elana holding on for dear life as the massive foot rises and falls. I look over at Emily’s incredible big toenail, directly next to me. Jesus, I’m so small, I’m so vulnerable.

As we three exit my apartment, I glance back at Anna as she stares down at the kitchen floor, looking for us. I am able a raise a weary grin. Bye, Anna.