Fuck it. I jump off the dresser and fall down to my rug. I survive (thanks Square-Cube Law!) and run quickly under my bed right as Anna’s bare feet stomp down into the bedroom.
“You little piece of shit, I’m going to crush the shit out of you.”
Anna’s massive pale feet take a few steps over to the dresser as she furiously tosses everything off of it onto my bed. The heels of her feet rise and stomp down just a few feet from me. Shit. I need to get out of this room. I run as fast as I can under the bed towards the bedroom door. As I reach the bedpost on the floor nearest to the door (only three feet away), Anna steps right past me and slams the door shut.
“I don’t know where you are, you little fucker, but I’ll find you, and it won’t be pretty.”
I laugh. “Idiot. I can walk under the door, Anna. I’m fucking 1/8th of an inch tall.”
I look up as she returns to the dresser to search for me. Now’s the time. I sprint full speed to the door. However, she’s not searching the dresser top. She pulls open a drawer and takes out a couple of my t-shirts. Anna turns back to the door and kneels down, jamming my shirts under the door on the floor. Shit. She’s not an idiot. No escape there. Brava, Anna, good thinking.
I’m a few inches from the bedpost as her right foot falls next me. The wind from her crashing foot pushes me back a few inches, and I rest on my back. She returns to the dresser to search for me.
I scan my bedroom for a hiding spot. I should hopefully return to normal size tomorrow night, so I just need somewhere to be until then. I spot on the wall under the headboard of the bed a space in between the baseboards. It’s roughly only six feet away. Thankfully, it’s under the bed, so unless she tears the bed away from the wall, I should be safe. I start running.
I’m making good time heading across my hardwood flooring to the crack. I turn often to see Anna’s heels as she searches across my dresser top. Luckily, I had a bunch of knick knacks and random crap on my dresser. Perfect hiding places for a tiny man. I’m nearly halfway there as Anna stomps her feet on the ground, knocking me to me knees.
“Fuck! You little shit. You’re not in the capsule, you’re not on your dresser. Where are you? Oh wait, you can jump to the floor. We survived that kinda jump once back at my little sister’s place, I forgot about that.”
Oh shit. I stand back up and start running again to my future hiding spot. I turn my head to see Anna on her hands and knees searching the ground around the dresser. I’m three quarters of the way there as she stands again and heads to the door to search around my shirts underneath it. She finds nothing as I keep running. I’m less than three inches away from the crack in the baseboards as Anna turns her attention towards the area under the bed.
“Wait, holy shit, there you are, you little prick! C’mere!”
Anna crawls on the floor as I’m only one inch away from the wall and reaches her hand under the bed. Her massive right hand reaches above me and crashes down on the ground in front of me. I fall back on my back as her long middle finger rests in front of me. I stand as quickly as I can and run around it. Her hand flies up again and tries to grab me, but she ends up pushing me into the space between the two baseboards. My small body is pushed against the drywall as the crack is covered by the large fingerprints of my ex-girlfriend. Immediately, she turns her fingernails into the small space in an attempt to grab me, but they can’t reach. I rest with my back against the wall, the four gigantic long fingernails of my ex-girlfriend attempting to snatch me up. I’m safe now. But for how long?
“Fuck you!” Anna screams, as her long fingernails flee from my hiding place between the two baseboards. Jesus Christ, what a terrifying sight. Anna slides herself from under the bed and stands upright. Quickly, my sense of safety disappears as Anna begins pushing my bed from the wall. She can’t lift it herself, but with effort, she is able to push the bed to the other side of the room, the legs of the bed producing an insanely loud screeching sound.
With the bed gone, Anna returns to me and places her feet directly in front of the space between the baseboards. Her beautiful and unpainted toenails shine in the light, and her soft, long toes rise and fall. I stare in awe.
“Look, little guy, let’s end this now. Just come on out. You know, I haven’t showered all day. Didn’t you used to love my feet after a long day of work? That smell, you remember the aroma? They’re right there, ready for you, whenever you want. Imagine the smell when you’re that size. Come on out, jump on. All your’s. That’s why we did this, right? You know I’m not going to hurt you, I’m just playing around, just like Elana.”
Anna brings her right foot closer to the crack I hide in and raises her big toe. She slowly lowers it as her massive nail scrapes down the wooden baseboards. Her toe touches the ground, and she pushes her foot forward, the enormous, beautiful big toenail towering over me, the edge of it touching the floor, the surface of the nail rising high above me.
I unconsciously take a couple steps to it and place my hand on it. The small white growth is so smooth and amazing. I place my face against it and take in the aroma of it. Let me live on your toenail. Let me crawl across the soles of your feet. Shrink me down even further and let me live as a microbe under your toenails.
God, I’m a dope. While I’m daydreaming, Anna leans down and scrapes me up in her right hand pinky fingernail. I thought I might have been safe still between the two baseboards, but evidently there was enough room for her to squeeze her smallest finger in. She stands back up, and I slide down the pad of the pinky. She brings me back up to her face.
“You dumb tiny little pervert fuck. God, so stupid, are you dumb because you’re brain is tiny, or are you normally this fucking stupid?”
With that, Anna leaves my bedroom and walks into my kitchen. She opens a cabinet and pulls out a shot glass. She puts me and her pinky inside of it and deposits me at the bottom. The fingers of her left hand press against my new prison as she brings the opening of the glass up to her eye.
“Aw, my 1/8th of an inch tall ex-boyfriend. I wanted to let you play on me. But you were too dumb. I was ready to let you run all over my toes. I wanted to feel you on my clit. We coulda had a lot of fun. But you were an idiot.”
That’s true. Dammit.
“So you’re going to help me out, okay? We’re cool. I’m going to let you out of the shot glass.”
Anna brings down the glass I’m in and tilts it to the kitchen counter. I slide down the glass sides and surprisingly land on my feet. Maybe she isn’t that mad. No, of course she is.
Anna pulls the glass from above me and sits on a stool in front of the counter. She pushes herself near me and crosses her arms on the counter in front of me. Her beautiful face smiles down at me as I stand helpless in front of her.
“So, we got two pills at the USSPS last night. I took one. Where’s the other one? I just want to get rid of it so none of this nonsense happens again. Let’s just be friends again. C’mere.”
Anna places her right hand long middle fingernail down in front of me. “Step up.”
I jump on the white surface of her nail growth. She brings me up a bit, and I slide down it on the palm of her left hand. It’s wrinkled but comforting. I still feel like I’m in danger, but I guess, things could be worse. I look up at her face, and she smiles and crinkles her nose at me cutely.
“I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want anyone else to hurt you either, of course. Show me where the other pill is so I can get rid of it. Walk in my palm toward where you hid it.”
I still wouldn’t mind having a fun weekend playing on Anna’s toes, and if it puts me in her good graces, sure, I’ll show her where the other shrinking pill is. I left it a kitchen drawer not far from us. I walk on her palm towards that drawer, and she stands and heads to it. Anna opens the drawer and finds the little pill sitting there. She grabs it with her other hand and places it in her pocket. Wait, what?
“Thanks, fuckwit.” I worriedly stare up past her massive fingers towering over me to her grimacing face. She sits back on the stool and slides me off her palm onto the kitchen counter. I land prostrate, her left falls behind me, and her long index finger softly flicks me. I tumble a few inches across the counter. I land face down and stand. Her hand rises and listlessly flicks me again. I tumble and sit motionless on the counter, gazing up at my giant ex-girlfriend.
“Stand down, little guy. You’re gonna get it. And Elana’s gonna get it tomorrow morning too. Thanks for the shrinking pill. Couldn’t have done it without you. Idiot.”
I think to run and jump off the counter, but I’d never make it to the edge. Anna has me trapped. She places her index fingernail right in front of me. I look up, and she nods. No escape. I jump on her nail. It rises, and she places me back into the shot glass. I slide to the bottom.
“Stay there. Ha, where could you really go? Whatever. I’m going to sleep on the couch over there. Don’t make a bunch of noise, been a long day for the both of us. Maybe I should spit into this shot glass! Hahaha, you could sleep in my spit, that’s funny. Eh, I don’t want you to drown though. I’m so over today. Fuck you. Later, asshole.”
Anna stands from the stool and lays down on my living room couch. I look at her from my shot glass prison. She falls asleep. I guess I should too. Nothing else to do.