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Story Notes:

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Author's Chapter Notes:

The First Wiry Yarn.

 

WARNING: Pirate speak dead ahead!

Well ahoy there, 'n whatta couple've tawny-faced youngers as've ever laid me eyes upon. 'N wha'woold a coupl'ah right rats like yerselves be doin' out on such'ah night as this, dreary as dreary could be? "Up'ta only good," says'ye. Aye, aye, a fine admishun is that, my young ad'mral, but ol' Pizarro knows just'ah wee bit more'n that, what with have'n to live'n such'ah happ'n'less port o' call as Kika's Land'n. I seen you lot come off'ah ships at midday'n this lot, says I to meself, this lot will nay be here for'more'n' a night, for sure. Yer sense'o 'venture demands far more'n Kika's Land'n will give'n that's'ah fact, but 'twas not always so, me younger scalawags, 'twas not so at'all. For y'see up'n there mount'ins a struct-ure likely ye've never ah'seen before. There, see it d'yah? Not a need t'look hard, now, just train'n yer eyes t'think diff'rnt is'all. That there be the Throne, lads.

Kika's Thone.

Aye, 'tis, 'tis! I lie not, by all things gracious be under Kika as I live 'n I die, aye. "How could'ah wom'n sit on such'ah throne," say'ye. How indeed, aye?She'd'ave to be a prop'r giant to straddle such'ah mount'in. Well, lads, ol' Pizarro'll tell yah straight, look well'n'deep 'nto me eyes now: She was.

A giant, means I. Or, as we prefer'd those days, our Giant'is.

Wipe off'yer smirky grins, lads! If'n'only Kika were 'ere to set'yah straight, ye'd all be at'ta bottom of'ah footprint a doz'n 'ands deep, dumb looks plast'r'd to yer eq'illy dumb, dead faces! She'd crush'yah und'r'ah sole as wide'n'long's any deck like ye were not boys at'tall but ants, and she'd'ah give ye jus' as much consid'ration, for'shure. Kika had not'even a lil' regard fer the likes of you 'n me, ya'see--indeed, v'ry lil' regard for men n' wom'n on'thah whole, aye. Seen both diss'peer underneath Kika's tread like bugs, ghastly, aye, the way they crunch. Ruthless a wom'n as there ever'twas, 'twas our Pirate Queen.

Ah, that brought th'lantern's glow back to yer cheeks--'eard of her, ye 'ave? Kika, the Pirate Queen? Goddess o' the v'ry ocean itself? Or, at'thah v'ry least, a daught'r o' one to be shure! Swallowed 'n 'tire crew o'ah Brit'sh man-o-war, dipp'n it to 'er dainty lips like she was nay a'ship but'n oyster, aye. That Kika's the lass und'r who ol' Pizarro risk'd life'n'limb to be certain, tho' to say "lass" don'nay sound right when 'ddressin' a giant'is, larg'r than there ever'twas, do it?Nay, 'twas a god-ess and make no mistake, boys, she made a'surities from 'ere to 'ell that we lot knew'it.

O' close yer gap'n maws, youngers. If yah can'no believe a wreck such'as me serv'd the giant lady Kika, the wond'rs I 'ave to tell will 'elp ye find yer grave right'n'early!

So come along, then. I know've a decent tav'rn 'round the bend, what's'that's still open.
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