Falcon fell back into a pile of wood shavings, patting his stuffed tummy. So long as he was stuck in this ridiculous body (which hopefully wouldn’t be for too much longer), he might as well make the most of it.

Nothing tastes better than humi food, he thought.

In one bite, all the flavors of a fresh BLT with double the bacon. In the next, a steaming pile of spaghetti with grated parmesan and just the right amount of oregano. Somehow the dry, blue pellets (humans called it numa) created the perfect experience in his mouth, including temperature and texture, essentially whatever he craved at the moment. His final bites had been butter pecan ice cream, so cold his teeth hurt.

“That was supposed to last you a couple days.” Uri glared at him through the bars of his cage. She liked to glare, especially since he’d spoken ‘her’ language. If he’d known it would upset her so much, he would’ve just remained silent.

“I was hungry ゃ.” The words came more easily to him now, like a sleeping limb awakened. They were still human words, clumsy words, not nearly as refined as his ‘native’ tongue. But humans, as he’d discovered, didn’t comprehend all of the nuances of にゃん.

“Tell me again how we’re having this conversation?” She leaned overhead, a lock of her red-black hair falling through the top of the cage until she secured back behind her ear.

“I remember how to speak human from when I was a human ゃ.” He still needed to end some sentences with a ゃ, though he didn’t know why. It was one of the many things he couldn’t explain about his relatively new body. He just went with it.

“Right,” she said sarcastically. “When you were human.”

“I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true,” he said. “And I’ve got a plan. Just need to remember my name. Once I do, I’ll be human again in no time ゃ.”

He scratched his cleft. He’d have to relieve himself soon, but until then...

“Stop doing that,” she said. “It’s fucking disgusting.”

He continued to massage himself down there. It wasn’t a penis, but it still felt good to rub, especially when digesting a big meal. He hadn’t seen other humi doing it, but he wasn’t a normal humi. They didn’t need masturbation because they mated like rabbits in heat. He didn’t mate, at least not with other humi or femi. It was one of his few rules.

Her glare intensified. “I said —”

“You had sex with me ゃ,” he said.

Her eyes went wide and her head swivel-jerked away, but he could make out the deep shade of red blossoming into her cheeks.

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” she said.

She wouldn’t. He could read her better than she could read herself. It’s why he let himself be purchased by her. His creator and previous ‘owner’ (he still struggled with the concept), was dark on the inside and bright outside. Uri was the opposite.

She didn’t face him when she next spoke, “If you tell anyone —”

“I won’t.” He stopped masturbating because he had to go, and like humans, the two biological processes didn’t always go hand in hand. “Give me food and freedom, and I won’t tell anyone.”

“How can I trust you?” She faced him again, eyes narrowed.

If he’d still been a human, he would’ve found her quite attractive. Although she’d donned her concealing wardrobe again, her face wasn’t unpleasant, nor was her scent. Unfortunately, he didn’t find anyone attractive in a sexual sense anymore. It was a bummer, as were several other aspects of his situation, but at least he couldn’t complain about the food.

“I suppose you can’t.” Still in a reclined position, he swept a few chips over his lower half. If she complained about a little masturbation, she probably wouldn’t want to see him peeing. “But I know you’re not going to kill me. So you don’t really have a choice.”

He relaxed his bladder and let nature do its job. He didn’t remember much about his life as a human, but he distinctly remembered pissing to be far less enjoyable. Perhaps it was because humi didn’t need toilets. Humi and femi pee consisted almost entirely of water, it evaporated quickly, and it smelled faintly of pine. Or at least his did — he didn’t go around smelling femi piss.

Perhaps nature made pissing feel better because he could no longer do number two. He had an asshole, but it didn’t go very deep and nothing ever came out of it. It was like a belly button for his rear.

He chuckled at the thought, and the contraction of his stomach caused his piss to spray a few chips, revealing his secret indulgence.

“What the— ” Uri looked away again, took a deep breath, and sighed. “I’ll feed you, but I’m sure as hell not letting you go free.”

“Why not?” He asked as the last of his piss exited his system. The cage smelled much better now, as if it belonged to him and him alone. It was like a house, built for his protection. He could squeeze through the bars with ease, but nothing much larger than himself could enter.

“You’re a pet, obviously.” Her eyes darted to the side, likely to catch his reaction. He didn’t react.

“And you’re my pet,” she continued, finally facing him again. “I paid a lot of money for you.”

“You already said we’re never having sex again, so what’s the big deal?” he asked.

“We didn’t —” Her mouth snapped shut and she glared daggers. “You’re a fucking asshole. I bet you never had a girlfriend when you were human. If you were ever human. I’m still not sure I believe it.”

He shrugged. “Don’t remember. I might’ve. I might’ve been married with kids for all I know.” He didn’t think he was that old, but he truly didn’t remember. At this point, he just wanted to see how far he could push her. “I might’ve been your dad.”

Uri’s inner brightness dimmed and her hand plunged into the cage. She snatched him up and squeezed him in front of her face. “Don’t you ever talk about my dad again.”

“ゃ.” He could barely breathe.

She dropped him on an open textbook and he coughed, then said, “Sorry ゃ.” He coughed some more, rubbing his side.

“Are you ok...I didn’t mean…” The brightness had returned to her inner self with swirls of remorse.

“I’m fine.” He took a deep breath, testing his ribs. On thing he’d learned: pain was still pain, but his body tended to be resilient, relatively speaking. “And you’re right. I was being an asshole ゃ.”

She rolled her eyes, but he could tell she was relieved. “Well, if you’re going to be an asshole, you won’t eat. Simple as that. And I’m not setting you free. Besides, you’d just get eaten by a cat or a bird.”

“You wouldn't have to worry about me blabbing your secret sexual fantasies.” He tried to make out the words on the page underneath him, but he couldn’t. Reading involved a different part of his brain than speaking.

“You won’t.” She nudged his chin up with her forefinger to make him face her. “You usually don't talk to people, do you? If you did, you never would’ve been sold to me. You’re afraid of what people will do once they discover you can talk. Hmm. They’d probably experiment on you, or mate you, or…”

Her smile widened, probably recognizing the first look of fear on his face.

“I knew it!” She beamed. “You can’t say shit. If you did, I’d be super embarrassed, but you’d be a guinea pig for the rest of your life. In fact, I could probably sell you on ebay and make so much profit, it would be worth the embarrassment.”

“Please ゃ.” He dropped to his knees, not an easy thing to do given the angle of his feet. “Don’t…”

“I won’t.” She stretched, popping her back. “But I own you, and I want to hear you say it.”

“I don’t want to go outside anyway ゃ,” he said, trying to quell his fear. “I don’t want to die. I just want freedom to leave my cage, explore the house, watch television, stuff like that.”

“Hmm, maybe,” she said. “We can talk about rewards for good behavior later. But first I want to hear you say it.”

He sighed. “You own me.”

“Louder,” she said.

“You own me!” A little piece of him felt like it died.

“You’re right. I do own you.” She patted him on the head. “And now that we’ve got that out of the way, it’s time for me to test out your leash.”

“It works!” He held up his hands in protest. “The shop lady already used it on me this morning.”

“Relax.” She tapped on her phone’s screen. “It’s just a little shock to immobilize you. It shouldn’t hurt.”

He leapt onto her hand and grappled her fingers, preventing her from pressing any of the glowy buttons on the screen.

Uri laughed and plucked him off with her other hand, then lifted him into the air by his torso. “Already misbehaving?”

“It makes me feel like an animalゃ.”

“You pretty much are an animal. You’ve got a long tail.” She pinched his tail between two fingers and pulled gently. “Little paws for feet.” She gave each foot a light squeeze. “And you piss yourself.” She nudged his genitals with the knuckle of her index finger. “What more proof do you need?”

She was clearly trying to annoy him, and seeing as how he’d been a jerk to her earlier, he probably deserved it. But, neither her belittling nor the threat of incapacitating shock bothered him much, at least not as much as the other effect.

“It also messes with my ability to speak and understand human ゃ.”

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow. “That sounds like a bonus to me.”

“It’s not.” He extended the claws on his hands slightly. “I don’t talk to people, but I like having the ability to listen. It’s only piece of humanity I have left. Without it, I feel trapped inside a body that’s not mine. I see lips move and I can understand emotion, but the words themselves lose their meaning. Sometimes it takes a while for it to come back.”

“How long is a while?” she asked.

“A few hours. A day. Once, after a big shock, I couldn’t make sense of human for an entire week.” He breathed in and exhaled. “It makes me wonder if I’ll lose it completely one day, and if that ever happened, I’d probably…”

“Oh, spare me the melodrama.” She set him down and tapped her phone with her free hand, causing him to wince in preparation.

No shock came.

“The locator works so I’ll always know where you’re at,” she said. “And if you ever run away, you can bet I’ll shock you. I won't test it unless you break a major rule, the first of which is talking about my dad. The second is leaving your cage without permission.”

He nodded, relief flooding his system. “Any other major rules?”

“Not yet, but I reserve the right to make them up as I see fit. There are plenty of lesser rules, however: don’t be an ass, don’t masturbate in front of me, and don’t talk to anyone else — that includes my family. Break one of those, and I’ll punish you as I see fit.”

“I have no plans of talking to anyone else.” He climbed on top of his cage to be closer to eye level with her. “But I can’t help it if you find some of my activities offensive. That’s your problem ゃ. Besides, you played with yourself in front of me.”

“That’s only— “ She huffed, fixing him with her stare. “The rules don’t apply to me. Do you know why that is? Think carefully before you answer.”

He considered a smart remark, but decided against pushing her again so soon. He could always expand his boundaries later. “Because you’re the owner.”

“Whose owner?”

“My owner.” At least until I’m back in my original body, he thought.

She nodded curtly, poking him in the belly. “And don’t you forget it.”

How could he? She reminded him every chance she got.