Mya opened her car door and sat down, Rachel and Clyde were bickering as she got in, but went silent.


"Ok, you guys ready for this?" She asked, taking a deep breath.


"What did he say?" Clyde asked, getting straight to the point.


"He's understandably upset. But what other choice is there? You know that Emily very well might catch us before we can get away. Not to mention at least, you and Malcolm will have huge bounties on your head. Every single person who is friends with Emily will be after you. If we do get away, I would bet that after she takes a shower, she will be heading straight for your house, Clyde. She has to show everyone that nobody messes with queen Emily."



"You. . . Really know how to make a guy feel good about his decisions, you know that? " Clyde said, staring out the window as Mya pulled out of her driveway.


"Sorry." She said quietly.


They rolled into Mertle's, and parked next to Malcom's beat up Lincoln. The parking lot was completely empty and the lights were off in the building. Malcolm was waiting by the front door with A/V Steve.


"We're all set!" Steve said as he opened the doors, allowing them to carry the bomb into the store.


"Ok cool. Let's get this thing up on the roof." Clyde answered.


Steve and Clyde carried the bomb to the bottom of a ladder in the back of the store that lead to the top of building. They carefully hoisted it up as Rachel and Mya kept a lookout from above.


Once it was in position they rested.


"Alright Malcolm, finally saving all those mayo jars is going to pay off!" Clyde said enthusiastically.


"I know right! It took all summer but we finally have a reason to use them." Malcolm said, patting the giant bladder of rancid smelling paste.


Rachel and Mya just sat quietly, both of their minds drifting to Jason, but for different reasons.





Jason got up and wiped his eyes. Mya had been gone for 15 minutes at that point.



"Fucking Mya!" He screamed, even though he was alone.


"Who does she think she is?"


Jason shoved a cup of pens that Mya kept on her dresser, it plummeted off the edge and smashed to the ground. He looked over the edge, seeing what he had done. It didn't look like any had broken, although he was too angry to care.


He looked around but found nothing else to take his anger out on, besides Mya's laptop. He was mad, but not THAT mad. He knew he would be in for a serious world of hurt if he damaged it.


Jason walked back to the edge of the dresser. He looked down, judging the distance. He saw nothing soft to land on, but he was pissed off enough to jump either way. Maybe if he got hurt, his friends would feel sorry for leaving him behind.



Not thinking too hard about it, he backed up and took a running start. His body went weightless as he left from the edge and barreled to the carpet below. He hit harder than he had anticipated, his vision going black.

Pain shot through his body, but lessened after a moment. It seemed Mya was right, eventually his body would get used to healing him, to the point where it wouldn't take thought. He was almost there.


Jason dusted himself off, looking back at where he had just come from. A few days ago, that fall would have put him down and out, now he was able to shrug it off.


Still angry, he headed for Mya's door, and squeezed underneath it. Jason stepped out into the hallway, the carpet was a type of short, stiff material and made it easy to walk on. Mya's house was huge, even by normal people standards and there must have been 8 different rooms in the basement alone.



The last door at the end of hallway had some sort of plaque hanging on it, and also an electronic palm scan lock.


"What the hell is that?" Jason said out loud as he slowly walked towards the door. He got to the base, and looked up at it, the plaque above his head, unreadable.


"I have to know what is in this room!" Jason said, not thinking about the consequences of snooping through Mya's house.


He shimmied under the door, barely able to make it through, he wasn't exactly sure he would be able to make it back though.


The room was dark, only the glow of a computer screen saver illuminated it. From what he could see, it appeared to be an office.


"Why would an office need a fucking palm scanner?"


Jason walked to the computer on the floor. He could barely see it, but the lights and sound of the cooling fan led his way. Using the cords coming from the back of it, Jason climbed to the top and continued up using the monitor cable. After a few minutes, he dropped gracefully on to the desk.



"What does Mya even know about epic adventures anyway!" Jason said proudly as he walked to the mouse.






Back across town, the trap was set. Clyde leaned casually against the loading dock, inside the loading bay, Malcolm peered through the window, ready to help Clyde escape. On the roof, A/V Steve had his laptop set up and was checking cameras one last time. In front of him, Mya and Rachel stood at the ready with the M-bomb.



8:55 rolled around and Clyde took out his phone.


[Where you at?] He sent "Jason".



A second later he received

[Be there in a minute]



Clyde fliched as a few seconds later, two cars pulled into the gate that surrounded the loading area. One was Emily's Cadillac. He immediately began to panic as 4 girls got out of each car, each one appearing to crest 6 feet tall.


"Fuck my life!" Clyde whispered under his breath as three of the girls pushed the heavy sliding gate closed behind them, sealing Clyde in. He knew it was far too heavy to move by himself if need be.


"What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Emily said as she closed the distance between them, her gang of friends close behind.


"Whe-Where is Jason?" Clyde asked, keeping up appearances, although the stutter was a legitimate product of fear.



"I think you need to worry more about yourself right now" a random girl to Emily's right chimmed in. It was received with giggles from her peers.


"Yeah, I can't wait anymore, let's crush him already, Emily." Another girl begged.


"Oh alright. . .you heard them Clyde, it's time you went bye bye for a while." Emily said with an evil grin.


Clyde's heart rate skyrocketed as they closed in on him, he prayed Jason's plan would work, or He would likely be having an extended stay at some hospital. They were just about to grab him when a voice rang out.



"HEY! BITCHES!" It was Rachel.


The millisecond their attention turned, Clyde bolted for the loading dock and in perfect timing, Malcolm threw open the door allowing Clyde to slide under safely. Malcolm slammed and locked the door.



"SUCK ON THIS!" Rachel finished as A/V Steve lit the fuse.


With three swings, Mya and Rachel released the bomb, the beach ball sized bladder drifted through the air in slow motion as the fuse disappeared into it. It was up to fate now.



What happened next was nothing short of the greatest thing any of the friends had ever seen. With Mya's calculations, the puss filled balloon got right to within face height before a muffled explosion rung out ahead of a moment of silence.


From there, all hell broke loose.


"WHAT. THE. FUCK!" One of Emily's friends screamed as all of them were instantly covered in creamy, rancid smelling mayonnaise.


Every inch of the loading yard was coated. It splattered the back of the building, and Clyde and Malcolm had to go up on the roof to see anything. When they got there, it was pure chaos.


Most of the girls had begun to bawl their eyes of as the smell made them vomit uncontrollably. They slipped and slid, trying to crawl to the chain link fence to pull themselves up. Some screamed in anger.


By this time, Steve had fired up his drone and was flying it above the girls, shooting close ups of the action as they tried in vain to swat it down. On the roof, Rachel, Steve and Malcolm celebrated their victory with hugs. Mya stood by herself, but she did have a small smile on her face. Clyde just stared down at what he'd done.


He watched as Emily struggled to stand, slipping and falling twice before making it to her feet. She wiped mayonnaise and tears from her eyes and looked up at him. It looked like she was about to say something, but she slipped and fell to her knees, vomiting down her shirt. To add insult to injury, Steve brought the drone down into her face.


Finally from her kneeling position, camera in her face, she spoke to Clyde.


"CLYDE!" She screamed so hard her voice cracked. "CLYDE, YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS ARE DEAD! EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU, I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD!"


She paused as an especially strong whiff of mayonnaise hit her. She was still for a moment before more puke spewed from her lips. What she did next scared Clyde more than anything.


Emily let out the loudest, most animalistic scream he had ever heard. It had a primal quality to it, that shook him to the core. He wasn't sure why, but he knew he couldn't be there anymore. He quickly made his way down the ladder and out to Mya's car.


The rest of the team watched as Emily and her friends fought to open the gates with the now slippery ground. It took all of them, but they finally managed, before getting into the cars, no doubt ruining the interiors, and speeding away. As soon as they were gone, the friends heard thunder in the distance.


"Looks like rain." Rachel said, as she began climbing down the ladder.


"Good. If it cleans up this mess before my parents get here tomorrow, this whole thing will have gone perfectly!" Malcolm said excitedly as he followed her down. Mya said nothing, but climbed down last after Steve, locking the hatch.


"The four of them went out the front door, seeing the coast was clear. Clyde was waiting in the back seat as the girls got in.


"Was that not the greatest thing you've ever seen!?" Rachel said, her adrenaline still pumping hard.


"I have to say it was pretty satisfying." Mya agreed calmly as she started her car.


"Oh my God! The look on Emily's face! I could bottle that look and sell it! Right Clyde?" Rachel asked, punching him in the arm.


"Ye-Yeah. . ." Clyde answered absent mindedly


"What the hell is wrong with you? We just kicked "Queen Emily" in the friggin' teeth man!" Rachel shouted, refusing to let her mood get dragged down.


"Nothing. . . .just please leave me alone." He said quietly, and Rachel left it at that.