In This Chapter: Coping with the loss of Azera, the Sentinel sets out to a previously visited planet to discover that an action she did thousands of years before caused the humanoid creatures to create a religion.
I went back to my cabin on the beach planet, the purple sky still there, the blue sun still constantly setting on the horizon, never totally going down. I spent hundreds of years there in solitude, occasionally visiting Azera’s grave, I kept it pristine, watching as the barren planet evolved and changed, the wake of our destruction still engraved into the surface of the planet, but she still stood tall over everything, I made sure she did until it was eventually my time to go. I didn’t want to be involved anymore, I wanted to finish the rest of my years in power alone, I had felt the gut ripping, heart crushing pain of losing the only person that seemed to understand me. I didn’t even want to destroy planets filled with humanoids to try and make myself feel better. I slept a lot, seeing Azera in my dreams sometimes, epochs of time passing, not even knowing how much time I had left anymore. Waking up sad, sullen, depressed, as powerful I was, I was still vulnerable to basic emotion, thinking that I had trained myself and my mind to be able to ignore those emotions, but no.
I thought about what my life would have been like if I was never selected as a Sentinel, going through life on Earth, alone and broke, would I have been successful, would I have found someone, would there be more wars, more abusers, more bullies, would I have ended up with a man, or a woman? I would have been long dead by now, the Earth progressing thousands of years since I’ve left, who knows if humanity was even there anymore. I wish I could go back, see it for myself, but it wasn’t allowed, even if I tried to bend the laws of nature it was like running into an invisible wall, stopping me before I could send myself back to the Milky Way. Maybe it was for the best, at least, for humans, if I was able to go back, I would probably would have destroyed every living person in the worst ways, wishing I could bring Azera along with me for that if it was possible, watching the people of Earth react to a massive alien woman that almost looked like them standing over Warsaw or Chicago, but those thoughts just made me miss her more. I made myself wine, swinging in the hammock between two trees, unable to become drunk, having to face my grief alone.
This went on for a long time, eventually I thought about what Azera would actually want for me, to be happy, of course, but it was difficult to find the motivation to make the attempt. I was fine subjugating myself to a depression, all alone in a desolate, yet beautiful world, but knew at some point I had to do something, maybe feeling cities beneath my feet again would feel good, maybe it would remind me of her, no telling what I would feel, but I was going to give it a shot, I spent a while thinking of what I wanted to do, maybe just as an excuse to savor some extra moments in the darkest places of my mind. Going through my markings and charts, ruling out uninhabitable worlds, narrowing down where there would be sentient, feeling and thinking lifeforms.
I finally went back into space, free floating, back to the norm of asteroids and space debris crashing into my skin, barely feeling a tickle as my legs or chest crashed through an inhabitable planet or two, the swirl of magma, the rocks breaking apart, some having dormant cores that exploded like dust. Spinning and tumbling through the void, but it was time to live like Azera wanted me to.
I re-visited the first planet that I set food on, the location where I had found the other Sentinel’s journal, where I learned I could manipulate so much of my life and nature, but not enough of it… The planet where I grew for the first time, finding an alien race with translucent eyes and no nose, looking almost like humans, I guess the formula for intelligent life definitely had a recipe. I chased down those workers in the forest, stepping on them, finding their village and crushing most of it to test my capabilities, learning how fragile everything became the taller I grew myself. I came back to that planet to find that race of aliens highly evolved, my footprint from crushing the village still deeply embedded within the surface of the planet.
I teleported to that exact spot, the same height I was when I made that footprint initially, 1000 feet tall, only now, their buildings towered over me, looking down as my toes dug into a neighborhood, instantly flattening everyone underneath it. There were no screams though, people flooding out of their homes, thousands of flying dots came rushing to my face. The mega metropolis coming to a standstill, screens popped up on their buildings like huge advertisements with a live feed video of me. People came rushing to my feet as I watched on from above in shock, the smoldering ash below my soles as a few plumes of smoke escaped between the gaps of my toes. Confused, flashes of bright lights in front of me as I held up a hand to protect my eyes, peaking through my fingers as the headlines on the screens said, “She has returned, please remain calm”. I had no idea what was going on, every single race that I had come across were paralyzed with fear when I towered above them, like little insects at my feet, they were powerless, and they knew it, but they kept massing around me, quiet, staring up at me like it was normal.
One flying dot approached closer to my eyes as I suddenly heard a loud electronic voice coming from it. “Our ancestors told of your return” the voice echoed clearly.
“What’s going on?” I asked, the crowds growing even larger at my feet.
“We dreamt of this day for so long, we finally get to see the great creator” the voice echoed.
“The great creator… are you aware that I just stepped on numerous houses and people?” I asked.
“It was a divine and holy death; anyone would be lucky to have been granted such a fate” the voice said. I was highly confused, were these people crazy? I thought. I remember at the beginning of my journey I felt like a true goddess, blinded by my power and total rule, but after Azera I had no choice but to be humbled.
“Let me speak to your leader” I asked. The dots flew away quickly, the screens on the buildings all showing me a unique building in the middle of the city, I assumed it was where the leader was. The crowds at my feet staring up in awe as I teleported myself to the capital, re-sizing myself down to their height. I found myself at the entrance, looking back at the highly advanced and futuristic buildings all around me, hovering vehicles all around me as the aliens dropped everything and stared at me with their strange translucent eyes. I saw statues that looked like me all around, at least, the idea of what I looked like to people that survived my footfalls thousands of years prior; the marble and stone towering over parks and city blocks like monoliths, they got a few details wrong, my hair was wavier, my chest larger, but they tried. My mind was spinning with curiosity, being called from behind to follow a few people dressed in long grey and white robes.
They brought me into a large room, guiding me to the center as an entire council of aliens with stadium seating looked down on me, all of them smiling, whispering to each other, some looked older, some looked younger, I didn’t know for sure, they looked mostly human, but I had no idea of their anatomy and physiology. There were at least 200 of them, all dressed in the same grey robes, “what is this place?” I asked. The aliens immediately silencing themselves as they heard my voice. An older male alien at the center of their seats looked at me from across the railings that separated their seats from me.
“This is the grand council of Veles, our planet, the same planet that you stepped foot on thousands of years ago” he spoke, the others watching on in wonder, nude, lights above me. The doors slammed shut behind me as the nonessential workers were dismissed, the cameras along with them. “We thought it to be best to have a more personal talk with the great deity” he said.
“What exactly is going on here?” I asked.
“Goddess… you are the creator of everything, the ultimate universal power, bringer of disease, famine, happiness, war, all things on this planet. We have served you for thousands of years, prayed to you, sacrificed ourselves in your name” he spoke. My eyes widened as he continued to speak, “Our entire religion is based off you, our planet’s history is based off you, wars fought and ended because some people of this world didn’t believe in you, but we always knew…” he said.
“Are you saying that I am your religion?” I asked.
“Yes, of course, this is the holiest day to ever exist!” he cheered; the others started to clap uproariously. A moment later the cheers quieted down as the man spoke again, “Our ancestors passed down story after story of your existence, eventually they built temples and holy structures, shaping the future and culture of billions of people that all worship you today, apart from the nonbelievers” he said. I was shocked, I was only on this planet for such a short amount of time when I first became a Sentinel, crushing half a village, sparing the other half, that other half spreading the story of my existence around for thousands of years until now, most of a planet thinking I was the ultimate universal power, I looked at the ground confused, I mean, yes, I was a galactic power, but they were comparing me to something I wasn’t. “So, have you been taking care of our elders in Paradise?” he asked, my eyebrows lowering in confusion.
“Paradise?” I asked.
“Where the dead of our planet go, to serve and be with you in the afterlife, where everyone is happy and at peace for all eternity” he confidently said with a smile.
“Where did you get that from?” I asked.
“From the ancient inscribing, our most holy relic, your divine words written down in the annals of our species’ history” he said, the other council members nodding in agreement.
I had a decision to make, the biggest decision that this planet would never know of. I could either play along and validate what these people had believed in for thousands of years, obvious mistakes passed down from generation to generation as they morphed and created the image of me that they wanted in a holy being, their lives hinging on the idea of me watching over them like a goddess even though I never even knew if they existed beyond that crushed village or not. Millions of people fighting wars in my name against people who refused to believe in me, I could lie to every single person, tell them that there was a paradise for them and their dead, I could crush the nonbelievers and dignify my rule, I could have a whole planet worship me at my leisure and they would be completely and totally devoted. Or, I could tell them the truth, pulling the metaphorical rug out from under them, crushing their entire meaning of existence in a few short sentences, probably plunging their entire world into a chaotic spiral downward, telling them their religion of me was wrong on many levels. I couldn’t decide right away, thinking what Azera would have wanted me to do. I decided to go with it for at least a little bit.
“Goddess, we have so many questions, so many…” the man said, snapping me out of thought.
“What are your questions?” I asked.
“How did the universe start? What happens to the non-believers when they die? Why is there disease?” he started firing off rapidly.
“Slow down” I said, him shutting his mouth immediately, looking towards the floor in shame. I didn’t even have answers, what I was going to say would change their meaning of life anyway no matter my choice of words. “The universe was here long before I, it’s a mystery to me as much as it is for you. They fade out of existence, their spirits along with them, disease is necessary, evolutionary growth” I said. The council looking at each other in shock.
“But… the universe is yours, no?” Another council sheepishly asked. I knew from then on it would be impossible to navigate this situation healthily, no matter what, I would ruin everything they had built from the idea of me. I needed a distraction, some time to think.
“I’m here for more important matters” I said.
“Yes, of course! How can we help, we will do anything to serve you, goddess” he said.
“Show me where the nonbelievers are” I asked. The man waved his hand as a holographic globe appeared in front of me, little dots blinking where their cities were on the continents and islands.
“I have come here to bring about my judgment, to smite them, wait for my return” I said, teleporting to the first dot from the globe’s projection. Making myself nearly 50 miles tall as I marched across their continent, city after city disappeared, hundreds of millions looking up, realizing that I did exist before the shadow of my body befell their lands, a single toe destroying a city, pressing into the grey and white crystals, leaving behind miles long footprints, nobody had time to react to me. Striding high above everything. I pointed a finger at a mass of grey crystals, a beam of lighting vaporizing them in an instant as I kept walking forward, feeling the tiny tickle of the crystalline particles smash against my bare feet, I crouched down and blew at another, the land ripping up and away as they all disappeared, a cone shaped canyon remaining, pointing at a few more, lazily as I sent down miles tall tornadoes made of fire, scorching the earth as everything turned to ash around me. I stomped down on another city, the crust caving in deep as the spiderwebs of cracks crumbled for hundreds of miles, countless towns falling into the dark abyss. I drew my toes into the dirt, dragging them across cities, feeling more like a job than anything, just not as much fun as it used to be, especially without her by my side…
I spent the next few hours going from country to country full of cities occupied by nonbelievers of me, burning, stomping, zapping, eating, until every last one of them was wiped out. Emotionless as I teleported back to the council chamber, a few of them screaming from the sight of me standing at their height again, covered in dirt and sweat, my feet caked in grey and black dust. There was a holographic screen in front of each of their seats, recordings of me marching through their lands, filming me from below as my impossibly huge figure snuffed them out, the recoding stopping. Seeing a few more screens, people scattering in the streets screaming, the sound of the camera man panicking and breathing as the low hum of my foot coming down over the city ended everything for them. The council was speechless. “I have returned, the believers of me are all that remains” I said.
“Goddess…” the man struggled to say.
“Thank you” another member spoke up.
“I have decided to fulfill your existence to me; wait for my explicit instruction” I said.
I teleported to the outskirts of their city at a few miles tall, my feet growing into the surrounding towns, smearing them against my already dirtied soles. I took a few more steps away from the city, flattening towns as I grew taller with each step, reaching 10 miles with ease, the city behind me, I could see the grids of their streets, the sections of the city, the tallest buildings looking like a small crystal that barely reached to the nail of my big toe. I could see other cities scattered in the distance, the yellow and green land all around me, mountain ranges and forests alike. I turned towards the capital city I had just left, twisting on the balls of my feet causing a quake, seeing some of their structures collapse.
If I was going to play the part I might as well was going to enjoy it as best as I could without Azera. I balled my fist, gripping at the energy of my power, struggling to lift upward as the land behind me exploded upward behind me. Massive pillars of rock and grey stone collecting behind me, closing my eyes and clinching my teeth, the muscles of my legs straining along with my arms as I morphed the stones into a throne that would fit my miles tall size, ripping through the land and another massive city as it began to take shape, dust to me, as the crumbs from construction of the stone throne fell and smashed into the land like falling mountains to the people. I was pleased with its look, a dark grey, with a high backrest, long armrests, leaning back as I felt my body pressed against it, sitting down, the capital city at the feet of my new planetary throne. I leaned back in my chair, my arms against the smooth armrests, kicking my heels out towards the outskirts of the city, placing them down as I saw a few more structures collapse, wiggling my toes over the millions still alive. “It’s time to serve your goddess” I said, scrunching my toes together, the dust and debris falling from them crashing below as chunks of city scraps exploded all around them.
I saw millions of speck sized aliens rushing through the half destroyed city, thousands of flying dots heading for my toes. Waiting patiently as I felt the tickles at my feet and between my toes as they began to clean the grime and debris from off them, probably finding mangled bodies amidst entire sections of cities pressed into the wrinkles of my skin. Millions of people from across the country making their way to me, flying up to my armrests, taking hundreds of thousands just to feel a tickle on my fingertips as they attempted to massage my hands and clean my nails, I concentrated on their voices, hearing them struggle against the impossible landscape that was my body, but they sounded so happy, like their lives were fulfilled, thousands fell off me with my slightest twitches. They continued to flood towards me, offering everything their bodies could do, young, old, men, women.
I relaxed for hours, every time I changed my sitting position or wiggled my toes, lifting my hands, placing them back down, millions died, flattened, smeared, smashing into the ground, but millions more took their place, they were fanatical towards me. Slowly but surely, the grime cleared from my toes, the white tips of my nails shining as my skin started to feel clean. My hands felt warm, my body relaxed as I rested in my chair. I could hear a squeaking in my ear, the electronic voice attempting to communicate with me. Amplifying the sound, making it more clear to me. The voice informed me that the some of the council members died as part of the building collapsed from one of the quakes I caused, the voice going on to say they were blessed to have been gifted such a death from the divine, waiting for me in paradise, but I knew there was no such thing for them like there was for me.
“Your goddess is pleased” I said, giving them all of the encouragement they needed to keep going and work harder as the sun set over the horizon. The flickers of lights from the small cities around me, entire sections of the capital missing as I could see the glow of a few fires spreading. Seeing tiny dots of light in the air around me, little glows of people’s personal lights between the gaps in my feet and under my hand and nails. I think I made the right decision, the voice by my ear sounded different, a female voice, introducing herself from the council as the next highest ranking surviving member, confirming the older man was dead.
“Goddess, we live for you” she said. Her voice echoing around my throne.
“You’ve done well, your people have served me today better than I have expected” I said.
“Your words reign supreme, goddess, we are happy to be serving you, the sacrifices of our people on your body and beneath your feet are honored, they await you in Paradise so that they may continue to serve you for all eternity” the voice said.
“Of course,” I simply stated.
“Will you answer our ultimate prayer?” the voice asked.
“What is the ultimate prayer of my people?” I said, my voice booming across the land.
“Our people prophesized of your return… that your return in itself would mark the great and final journey with you to Paradise” the voice said.
“Are you asking me to end the lives of everyone?” I asked.
“Yes, for the great journey must be fulfilled, our people are ready, thousands of years leading to this, we are ready” the female voice said.
Maybe I made the wrong decision… they wanted me to end the existence of their species because they thought they would join me in a paradise, maybe if I had just told them the truth they wouldn’t have asked for this, but… their servitude did feel really good between my toes. I had to do it for them, I had to make them feel like their sacrifice was for something, so… I did it… I ended all of them.
“Your goddess will answer the ultimate prayer, I will give you one hour to prepare” I said before teleporting to space in the orbit of the planet. I relaxed, floating above the surface, seeing my footprints in the surface like little indentations, at my new size, the planet was the size of a beach ball. When I teleported, the people that were atop my body fell, falling miles down as the skin of my body they were using as their support vanished from under them, like rain drops crashing into the surface. I waited, floating around, letting the people do whatever they needed to do, whatever it was. My body floating in their entire sky, visible from everywhere on the surface as I stared at them with my grey eyes. The shadow of the planet befalling on parts of my torso as the white stare in the far distance glowed, brightening my eyes over them, half the planet in darkness as the divide. I didn’t want to hear their voices, I just simply let them look at me, the planet sized face of their goddess hovering above them. I didn’t think me crushing a village when I was so young would start an entire religion, I was a bit embarrassed actually, not having the good graces to tell them I was just having fun that day, now billions of people expected me to bring them all with me to an eternal blissful place where their soul duty was to please me. Before I met Azera, that would have sounded amazing, having an entire planet of fanatics at my disposal, but… now it was just sad, especially for the billions that believed they were about to go to a better place ruled by me. I felt sorry for them, thinking it would be better to wipe them all out and having them die believing in something than sparing them and telling them the truth.
I felt an hour had passed, seeing the planet rotate below me as the line of darkness stood in its place. I grew myself more, floating backwards as the globe shrank smaller and smaller before me down to the size of a grape. “Find peace in Paradise” I said, it sounded fitting, floating myself towards the planet, opening my lips around them slowly, the planet hovering above my tongue inside my mouth as I slowly closed my lips. I curled my tongue under the planet, feeling the tickle of its bottom as I flicked them back, feeling them hit the back of my throat, swallowing them whole, feeling the warmth of the planet break apart all the way down my esophagus, their world landing in my acids in chunks, burning anyone that was still miraculously alive.
An entire planet of people gone, all thinking they would die and be with me forever, melting in my stomach. I thought about it for a long time, If I had made the right decisions with them, pondering over and over again. In the end, I had given them everything they ever wanted, I destroyed the heretics to their religion, I had them serve me, and I fulfilled their ultimate wish, I guess you can decide if that was the right thing to do. The next Sentinel who reads this… you’ll have the same struggles, the same problems, the same fanatic people, learn from me, do what you think is right, but for now, I will tell you one last tale…