I hadn't even planned on what to do once I got this far. Staring at the shrunken woman made me feel sick to my stomach, even more sick than I had already felt. I didn't know what I was doing anymore. Even though I had went into this night feeling renewed and like everything would magically be fixed by the time I woke up tomorrow morning, I was now emotionally exhausted and completely spent. It only made me feel worse and worse to be looking at the last person I had to kill in the eyes, as if evaluating them for what to do.

So what was I supposed to even do with them? Up until now none of the people I had killed had even been that experimental, I didn't feel like I had learned anything from any of this. Maybe I had learned how to emotionally abuse people better, but that's not something that you really ever need to learn. Nothing that I had picked up on this night was something that you need to learn in any life or another.

When she stood up and started walking around, looking at the room and down over the table I pushed her back down and put my head into my hands. Looking at her just made me feel like I was going to kill a real human. I needed to isolate myself from any of those thoughts and think of her as an insect if I was going to make any progress and finish this tonight.

It's worth mentioning how old I've been getting. If you're reading this I bet that you imagine I'm just a kid who's lost and confused with her own identity and ended up expressing her depression in a more harmful way than most, well no, that's not true. I'm in my thirties, my god damned thirties, and I was making a fool on myself in front of this girl and probably looking like a psychopath. Oh wait, it didn't matter if I looked like a psychopath, I already was, wasn't I? I'd already proven that to her.

I'd proven that I'm lacking in morals and severely troubled, how would it feel to know that you've fallen into the captivity of a crazy girl and then suddenly all of your friends are disappearing around you until you're all that's left? I don't know, I don't know anything do I? I'm just so stupid.

Some people just learn differently, huh? This all taught me something, ultimately I could tell myself that it would be okay because ultimately their deaths weren't pointless, I had learned and gained something from this experience. I had changed, you know, I was essentially a different person, so goodbye to whatever happened before this, right? And shout out to whoever I used to be, though.

I took a tissue and blew my nose into it, and when I drew it away from my face bound by a long string of snot I looked into it and started to think. If I was going to experiment then now would be my chance.

Instead of crinkling it up and throwing it into the trash, I left the tissue on the top of my desk. I took the girl into my hand and told her, "Look, it'll be easier if you don't struggle, I'm just doing what I have to do." She kicked and pushed at my thumb that was on the front side of her and screamed but I brought her to my nose and then pushed the top half of her into my nostril and spun her around then took her out and she slipped out connected to another string of snot. She immediately began to scrape at the mucus bounding and suffocating her and I watched.

After observing long enough I put my thumb onto her face and wiped the mucus away so she wouldn't suffocate and die. She spat repeatedly onto my thumb and started to try talking to me, but I couldn't hear, and at this point I wasn't interested in hearing either. I sat her back down onto the table and wiped the snot from my finger then looked at her again.

"Alright, stay here. If I come back and you're out and about, I'm going to make your death as cruel as possible, you hear me? Just... be good, don't be a dick."
I went to the kitchen and opened up my fridge. There wasn't anything that I really had wanted to eat, but I had looked into the fridge compulsively regardless. My head was starting to hurt. I closed my eyes and squeezed them intensely for a moment, then went to my bathroom and retrieved a pill bottle of 800 mg ibuprofen and took a pill with a glass of tap water. It wouldn't make me feel better yet, but it was all that I could do.

Even though I was still trying to avoid it, the best thing for me to do would be to return to my room and kill the last girl as quickly as possible. I had had my fun with her in my snot, that was enough to learn in one night. Or enough to learn about people and snot ever...

When I came back into my room the girl had gotten off of the table to my expectations. I didn't want to live up to my promise, but despite my warnings I would have to. I groaned and rubbed at my left temple, the weight of the bags under my eyes had become incredibly painful.

The first place that I checked was underneath the bed, but she wasn't down there. I pulled myself out from under the bed and spat dust out of my mouth, then I looked underneath my dresser and inside of my closet. She was nowhere to be found. That probably mean that she had actually left the room, and while I was looking for her she had gotten out and now she could be anywhere in the apartment. There was no way she could have gotten any further, the guard on the bottom of my door would prevent that.

So she wasn't in the bathroom or the hallway, I had been in there. Neither was she in the kitchen after I checked, and she wasn't underneath any of the couches in the living room nor the table. I sighed and went to the last destination and the one I hadn't been looking forward to: the laundry room.

As I entered I had to kick aside the various articles of clothing that were scattered across the floor. I flipped the light switch on and the room was illuminated and I could look over all of the heaps of clothes. The laundry machine was posted against the wall to the right of me, and the first place I checked was underneath it. There was nothing there.

That meant I had to check under all of the clothes. I began to throw them aside and look inside of the pockets of pants and in the cups of bras, anywhere I could possibly check to find someone, but my efforts returned nothing. As I worked through the room I split the pile into two around me, like parting the Red Sea. Finally I had reached the end of the clothes and gotten to the wall. At that was left were a couple of shirts and underwear, the last place she could be hiding.

I threw them side and there was nothing. Immediately I stamped my foot and yelled out, "Fuck you!" I went back to my room and saw that she had been sitting on the opposite side of the table than the one I had placed her on. She hadn't run away at all.

That pissed me off, I decided that I would kill her however I damn wanted to. I took the tissue I had left and put it next to her, then said "Eat it." At first she only looked at me, appearing confused, but I repeated myself then picked her up and dropped her onto the snot. She looked down and then took a blob of the snot into her hand and took a nibble. I told her to eat all of it, all of the snot on the paper within ten minutes or I would shove her up my asshole.

She finished in about six. When she was done she laid onto her back in the sticky residue and began to sob and eventually vomit onto herself and the tissue around her. This continued for the better part of half of an hour, her standing up and vomiting thick portions of snot onto herself until she finally calmed down and seemed to have fallen asleep or gone unconscious.

I took the tissue into my hands and then blew my nose back onto it as hard as I could I continued blowing, pulling my nose away then blowing again until there was too much snot for me to touch my face to it anymore and then I blew snot from a distance until the girl was completely buried under a huge collection, totally unable to escape. I watched her spring back to life and thrash around, movement slowed by the snot she was stuck in.

Watching her struggles slowly dissipate and peter off into nothingness temporarily captivated me. Toward the end of her life she seemed to manage to stand up and push her hand further and further out of the snot until she had finally died, frozen into a position of horror.

The snot eventually all dried and became, for the most part, solid. I took a pen and poked at the semi solid mass, trying to touch and move the body around and maybe dig it out, but it proved too difficult to do without possibly mutilating the body, so I took my pen away and wiped it off on my pant leg. I picked up the tissue and looked into it, and at the shiny snot encapsulating the body.

It looked like the toys that I had played with as a child, a plastic container that held a large collection of goo with a figurine in the center. Remembering that was funny.

Soon it wasn't interesting anymore, it started to feel disgusting. Feeling sick to my stomach again, I started folding the tissue onto itself, shattering the solid portions of snot and slowly compressing the woman until she was either pierced by solid snot or possibly she had burst and the tissue became a deep shade of crimson and small drops of blood leaked off of it. I took another tissue and wrapped the bleeding and snot filled tissue within it and then went to throw it away again.

That didn't feel right. I felt like I should pay some respects to the body. Hesitantly, I unfolded the tissue and set my eyes upon the contorted horror that was a minced body spread throughout a mixture of blood and snot. I groaned and then set it onto the table.

Regardless of its appearance, I said a prayer upon the tissue, and then I looked back over it again, feeling more disappointed by myself than ever I had before.