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DISCLAIMER: Undertale and all of its characters are owned by Toby Fox; this is a non-profit parody work with absolutely no intentions of infringing on his copyright.

"Okay, so, shrink ray, shrink ray...where is it?" Undyne whispered to herself as she snuck around in the upstairs area of Alphys' lab, rummaging aimlessly through Alphys' many, many equipment cabinets until she finally came to a very sudden and surprisingly sharp realization.

"Hmm, I wonder...what's the FIRST place she would expect a SMART person like ME to look?" Undyne thought to herself, eyeing the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie fanart painting on Alphys' wall suspiciously. "OF COURSE! IN THE LITTLE CIUBBYHOLE BEHIND THE PAINTING!"

"Ah, finally...JUST what I've been LOOKING for!" Undyne chuckled, pulling out Alphys' patented shrink ray from the cubbyhole and shoving it unceremoniously into her pocket before finally putting said painting back where it belonged.

"And now to just head on down to where Alphys is sleeping tonight...HEE HEE HEE..." Undyne snickered creepily to herself, drooling at the mouth and fantasizing intensely about what she was getting herself ready to do with Alphys as she took the elevator straight down into Alphys' infamous True Lab, where all of the Amalgamates lived.

"Ah, here we are!" Undyne chuckled as she walked down the cold, dark, grimy and dimly-lit hallways of the True Lab, ignoring the data logs on the walls since she had already read them something like a million times and had a pretty thorough knowledge of what the True Lab really was.

For some odd reason, Endogeny turned out to be the only Amalgamate out of all of them that was actually awake; right when Undyne was about to enter the bedroom, Endogeny suddenly joined her, wagging its tail with excitement.

"Oh, yeah, you can help out too, little buddy!" Undyne laughed, addressing a monster that was approximately twice her size and at least something like ten times her width as "little buddy".

"Alright, so...psst psst psst..." Undyne cupped her hands and whispered her secret plan into Endogeny's ear; luckily, Endogeny then immediately nodded its head in approval, reaching into its body, pulling out a disturbingly large-sized and thoroughly-filled jar labeled ALPHYS EARWAX COLLECTION, and then finally handing a big chunk of wax from said jar to Undyne.

"Umm...what are you giving me THIS for?" Undyne asked Endogeny, turning her nose up in a mixture of slight confusion and considerably-more-than-slight disgust.

In response, Endogeny used one of its massive legs to point indicatively at Undyne's magic lantern, which just so happened to be magically dangling from her magic belt at the magic moment...because magic.

"Oh, my...you really ARE a smart dog, aren't you?" Undyne giggled, forming the wax that she had been given into the shape of a candle, sticking it into her lantern, and gratefully patting Endogeny on the back as it adorably nodded its head in agreement with her.

"Well, okay, but first...I have some rather urgent and pressing emotional matters to take care of, if you don't mind!" Undyne explained, slowly and creepily approaching Alphys with an uncomfortably menacing and dreadful look in her eyes.

"LOOK AT HER...LYING THERE ASLEEP!" Undyne laughed eerily, crawling up on top of Alphys' bed and gazing upon her beautifully chubby naked body, which was currently laying face-down and backwards on the bed. "THE IDOL OF NEARLY EVERYONE IN THE UNDERGROUND..."

"SHE'S A FOOL!" Undyne whispered dramatically and somewhat angrily, cocking an eyebrow at her in both disagreement and disapproval. "BLIND...SILLY, LITTLE FOOL..."

"HOW EASILY...I COULD, END THE FARCE...WITH THESE HANDS...THESE...DIRTY, HANDS!" Undyne whispered to herself, holding her hands out dramatically in front of her and then balling them into cold, hard fists of pain, hatred, fear and (to some extent) regret.

"AND WITH THESE HANDS, I HOLD THE FATE OF MILLIONS!" Undyne laughed maniacally to herself as she turned her palms toward Alphys' neck and wiggled her fingers maliciously.

"THEY THINK SHE'S A GOD...BUT SHE'S AS MORTAL AS WE...I KNOW!" Undyne laughed and sobbed, terrifyingly scanning over Alphys' body with her eyes in literally the exact same way that the average psychotic serial killer does with his (or her, in this case) victims.

"JUST...ONE...QUICK...TWIST! AND IT'S OVER...JUST...ONE..." Undyne moaned with demented arousal, clenching her hands into horrifying claws and struggling to resist the overpowering urge to straight-up wring Alphys' neck with her bare, fishy-smelling hands...when, all of a sudden, at the most unexpected moment, Endogeny tapped her on the back!

"Oh, uh...s-sorry about that! D-don't worry about me, okay? I was just having a little...psychotic episode t-there, okay? Everyone gets a little c-carried away every once in a w-while, RIGHT?! EHEHEHEHEHE..." Undyne stammered dementedly, beginning to sound disturbingly like Alphys.

"Alright, here we go! SHRINK-A-TIZE ME, CAP'N!" Undyne laughed maniacally, pointing the shrink ray directly at her face and firing it without even an ounce of consideration for forethought for what the consequences could end up being...because she was just THAT desperate.

"Oh my god, this is amazing...she's so freaking HUGE now...oh my god, I already want to crawl inside her vagina and sleep there, but I guess I'll have to save that one for later tonight..." Undyne blushed in awe as she gazed upon the massive, blanketless landscape of bedding that now laid before her, with Alphys' gorgeously naked body covering the vast majority of it.

"Oh, yes...OHHH, YESSS...NOW IT'S UNDYNE TIME!" Undyne laughed as she rapidly sprinted over to where Alphys' feet were laying flat and slightly slanted on the mattress, with the exquisitely curved and wrinkled soles pointing straight up to Undyne's absolute delight.

"You wanna know what ELSE is pointing straight up right now? MY DICK!" Undyne snickered as she climbed onto the soft, cushiony sole of Alphys' now-massive left foot, crawling all over it and spending several minutes licking every last square inch of it, from heel to arch to toes.

"AHH...YES...WORSHIP...MASTER...HER...WORSHIP...THE MASTER...WORSHIP...OHHH...WORSHIP HER...HAAH...HAAAH...HAAAAH..." Undyne moaned and rambled derangedly, drooling and frothing and foaming at the mouth withh saliva and presumably creaming her pants as she gave the ball of Alphys' foot a wet, sloppy kiss before climbing up onto the top of her heel for the grand finale.

"GERONIMO! WHEEEEEE!!!" Undyne laughed and squealed with pure childlike joy and fascination as she slid all the way down the sole of Alphys' enormous sexy foot, using the layer of saliva that was now covering it from heel to toes as lubricant.

"AND NOW FOR MY UTTERLY DELICIOUS, SCRUMPTIOUS DESSERT!" Undyne laughed like an idiot as she fervently licked out the slimy toe jam from in between Alphys' toes and ate it.

After repeating the exact same worshipping process on Alphys' other foot for several more minutes, Undyne noticed that Alphys' position on the bed had suddenly changed; she was now lying face-up, with her knees bent upwards and her feet flat on the mattress!

"Hmm...this seems a bit conspicuous..." Undyne thought to herself as she clambered onto the top of Alphys' right foot and made her way up to Alphys' ankle...when suddenly, Alphys slowly bent her knees forward so that her legs were pointing straight out!

"Huh...this seems even MORE conspicuous..." Undyne thought worriedly to herself, scratching her head in confusion as she made her way up Alphys' stubby yet oddly slender legs until she finally reached her torso, where she almost fell into Alphys' bellybutton by accident!

"OH, DEAR...NOW THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE!" Undyne gasped, stepping back and regaining her balance at the last second as Alphys reached into her bellybutton with one of her fingers and picked the lint out of it!

"OH WOW, I CAN EVEN FEEL HER HEART BEATING WITH LOVE FOR ME!" Undyne squealed fangirlishly as she made her way up to Alphys' upper torso and climbed onto her left boob, where she immediately readied herself to suck on its plump, succulent nipple.

"ALRIGHT, SO...I THINK THAT IF I JUST PINCH IT RIGHT HERE WITH MY TEETH AND START SUCKING AS HARD AS I POSSIBLY CAN AT MY CURRENT SIZE..." Undyne fantasized as she used the reverse function of the shrink ray to make herself just BARELY big enough, clasped her mouth around Alphys' nipple, and sucked on it as hard as she could for two full minutes.

"OH, DEAR GOD, YES! IT STILL WORKS! OHH, THANK THE HEAVENS!" Undyne squealed yet again with absolute joy and amazement as the creamy white milk from Alphys' boob squirted into Undyne's mouth, causing Alphys to moan lovingly in her sleep with pleasure.

"Aww, I'll bet she's having REAL sweet dreams about me right now!" Undyne blushed adorably as she moved on to Alphys' other boob and repeated the exact same process once more.

"Hey, Endogeny, YOO HOO!" Undyne called out to Endogeny, jumping up and down to signal that it was now time for Phase Two of her diabolical, obviously giantess-fetishistic plan as she shrunk herself back to her previous size once again.

"WHOA, WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA!" Undyne stammered, trying not to throw up from her ever-so-crippling fear of heights as Endogeny grabbed her with one of its gooey, sticky legs and shoved her straight into Alphys' right ear canal.

"TEE HEE HEE! Oh, Endogeny, you silly boy, why must you ALWAYS give me wet willies?!" Alphys giggled, hugging and kissing Endogeny while Undyne magically got out her magic lighter and magically used it to magically light her magic lantern...you know what? Fuck this.

"Oh, sweet ever-loving Jesus..." Undyne gasped, looking around and seeing just how much wax there really was covering the inner surface of Alphys' ear canal.

"Well, I suppose if you ever wanted to wax a fucking Chevrolet, then maybe this just might come in handy..." Undyne sighed, gagging ever-so-slightly as she accidentally stepped in Alphys' earwax and got a rather sizable layer of it stuck on the bottom of her shoe.

"Ugh...dear LORD, this is so gross..." Undyne shivered, beginning to feel rather woozy from the nasty stench in the air as she tiptoed her way deeper and deeper in, hoping desperately that Alphys wouldn't suddenly hear her and wake up.

"Huh? What's that, Endogeny? Something about Undyne? You know what, you're right, I probably should call her and ask what she's up to..." Alphys sighed, pulling out her cell phone, dialing Undyne's number and holding it up to her right ear while Endogeny just whistled innocently.

"Okay, baby steps, baby steps...quiet...be as QUIET as possible...don't wanna wake her up...don't wanna...WAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" Undyne screamed (immediately covering her mouth in helpless terror) and jumped nearly her entire body height into the air; her Alphys-matching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie ringtone had just suddenly gone off right next to Alphys' eardrum!

"Hmm, that's strange, my phone doesn't normally do that...ESPECIALLY not that loudly...and I'm pretty sure that Undyne recently changed her ringtone because of how much she hates me now..." Alphys thought to herself, becoming even more suspicious of Undyne's whereabouts.

"Um...h-hello?! W-who is this?!" Undyne stammered nervously, backing away slowly from Alphys' pearly grey eardrum in an attempt to avoid being heard any further.

"It's me, Alphys." Alphys replied, glancing over at the blushing and trembling Endogeny.

"ALPHYS?!" Undyne gasped, trying and failing miserably to hide how scared she was as her own recorded voice echoed loudly and boomingly through Alphys' ear canal.

"Yes, it's me...listen, Undyne, where exactly ARE you right now?" Alphys asked her curiously.

"Umm...I d-decided to visit the local E-Eerie Canal in Waterfall! EHEHE!" Undyne laughed and stammered nervously, sweating a little as her knees began quaking with apprehension.

"Um, o-kay, so, uhh...you're not hiding something from me, are you?" Alphys asked her teasingly as she briefly tilted her phone out of the way and dug into her ear with her finger.

"UH, N-NO, O-OF COURSE N-NOT! EHEHE! UMM...T-TELL YOU WHAT, UH, I'LL C-CALL YOU BACK LATER, OKAY? UH, B-BYE!" Undyne stammered desperately as she hastily hung up the phone, backing up firmly against Alphys' eardrum and trembling with fear as the finger somehow almost reached where she was standing.

"I just don't believe it!" Alphys laughed at the mere thought of Undyne having secretly snuck inside her ear canal while she wasn't looking...and yet somehow still forgetting to mute her freaking cell phone. "There's just NO WAY she could actually be THAT fricking stupid!"

Once Alphys had finally fallen back asleep and started snoring again, the nervously whistling Undyne casually pushed her precious little eardrum off to the side (using only one hand, no less) and walked right on through to the inner ear, where she then made her way through to the thing that she had REALLY been waiting to see all this time...Alphys' brain!


"Sweet jumping JESUS, it's so big!" Undyne gasped with awe yet again as she saw how truly massive Alphys' brain was, blissfully unaware that her own brain was actually literally about the exact same size. "So THIS is what a SMART person's brain looks like..."

"Wow, she really IS an awfully bright bulb, isn't she?" Undyne laughed, seeing how Alphys' brain alone was somehow generating enough bioelectric energy to illuminate the entire area around it.

"And her brain is SO cute and squishy too, just like her!" Undyne giggled and blushed as she leapt onto Alphys' brain stem and climbed all the way up onto the top of her brain from there, licking and kissing and sucking on it like a total degenerate creep while doing so.

"WOO! I'm on top'o the world!" Undyne laughed and cheered in satisfaction as she laid down on top of Alphys' brain, crossed her legs and took off her boots.

"OOO, dear Neptune, that feels so good..." Undyne moaned with pleasure as she dug her toes into the moist, wrinkly, spongy, fleshy folds of Alphys' brain before finally standing back up and putting her boots back on.

"TEE HEE HEE...that tickles..." Alphys mumbled in her sleep, drooling a little.

"Alright, well, here goes nothing! Yet again, GERONIMO!" Undyne yelled valiantly as she literally dived straight into Alphys' brain, completely defying the laws of both physics AND biology!

"OWW!!!" Alphys winced in pain as Undyne went right through the outer surface of her brain and conveniently landed right in the control room!

"Ah, yes, finally; ALPHYS' BEHAVIORAL CONTROL CENTER!" Undyne yelled so loudly at the sight of the main supercomputer console that Alphys actually heard her.

"Hmm...must have just been my imagination." Alphys sighed, reluctant to drift back to sleep as Undyne began hacking into her brain like a pro.

"Hmm, I wonder what the password is..." Undyne thought to herself, stroking her chin. "AH! OF COURSE! MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE!" Undyne realized with delight as she typed out the phrase "mewmewkissycutie" on the keyboard and hit Enter.

"Oh dear, this is SUCH a low blow, even for me..." Undyne blushed and sighed as she brought up the whole database of content stored within Alphys' brain, starting with the memory banks.

"Alright, so...we've got the day when she became the Royal Scientist...that time when she ordered pizza with the toppings in the shape of an anime catgirl...regret over the fact that she created the Amalgamates...the day when she somehow got every single one of her teeth knocked out in a game of dodgeball at Monster High...the day when she was about to jump off a cliff and kill herself in Waterfall, before she met me...and the day when Snowdrake's Father caught her fucking his wife...hmm, I wonder, what else is in here?" Undyne wondered curiously, clicking over into the porn databanks and immediately losing her mind as a result.


"MAN, I'M SO HAPPY I BROUGHT MY MAGIC LAPTOP WITH ME!" Undyne nearly swooned with delight as she pulled said laptop out from her magical belt, downloaded over 30 solid gigs of porn onto it, then somewhat embarrassedly stuffed it back into her belt, blushing quite a bit as she suddenly remembered that she was being filmed doing this on live TV.

"Hmm...come to think of it, what's going on in there right now?" Alphys thought to herself, obviously referring to her brain. "Undyne had better not be downloading porn in there..."

"Heh...funny you should say that, because I've got just the thing for YOU!" Undyne laughed, pulling out the supercomputer's microphone and talking directly to Alphys through it.

"HUH? W-who said that?!" Alphys stammered, rapidly glancing back and forth around her as she hastily redressed herself and began drumming her fingers together in anticipation.

"It's ME, your old pal Undyne, reporting from VERY deep inside your head!" Undyne laughed, picking the earwax off of her boot and eating it.

"WHAT?! Oh dear, oh dear, OH DEAR, OH DEAR, OH DEAR, OH NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!" Alphys stammered and screamed in terror, biting her nails in dreadful anticipation of what Undyne might do to her now that she had this much literal control over her.

"That's right, THAT'S the spirit! Now your sanity and mine can die TOGETHER!" Undyne laughed maniacally as she clicked the DANCE button on the computer and kicked back in her chair, crossing her legs and getting out a magic bucket of popcorn as the madness began.

"LOADING: 42% COMPLETE." the compute informed her.


"My, my, such dreadful LANGUAGE!" Undyne teased her, clicking the ELECTROSHOCK button and smiling with delight as Alphys (and her skeleton, of course) screamed in agonizing pain.

"LOADING: 100% COMPLETE!" even the computer started laughing as the theme song to Mew Mew Kissy Cutie began promptly playing in Alphys' head.

"Oh dear god, WHY IS THIS STUPID FUCKING SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD?!" Alphys screamed and cried as she began uncontrollably dancing. "OH, FUCK, I CAN'T STOP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!"

"Life was such a wreck, every time I would CRASH INTO WALLS!" Alphys sang as she began dancing the tango in the most awkward style possible, crashing into every single thing possible and then finishing with an overly loud stomp on the ground just for added awkwardness.

"I had homework all day but I just wanted to play WET MY FUCKING PANTS!" Alphys sang awkwardly as Undyne clicked the PISS SELF button, causing extensive streams of piss to trickle down Alphys' legs as she stumbled dizzily back and forth.

"And everyone at school always made fun of me FOR OBVIOUS FREAKING REASONS!" Alphys sang as Undyne clicked the UNDERWEAR button, causing Alphys to unbutton her lab coat and throw it right off, revealing her goofy-print Mew Mew Kissy Cutie bikini and underwear as she continued dancing just as awkwardly as ever (note that THIS was also being filmed on live TV).

"Because my neko-chibi costume was so kawaii AND A BEASTFUCKER TOO!" Alphys sang through her nose as Undyne simultaneously clicked the UNDRESS and BESTIALITY buttons, prompting Alphys to strip herself naked, french-kiss Endogeny, deepthroat Lemon Bread, and even breastfeed Snowdrake's Mother while Undyne gleefully masturbated to her agonizing humiliation.

"MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE! It's a new way I'd like to be!" Alphys sang as she rode Endogeny around the room like a horse.

"I'm just MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE! Poor cute and adorable me!" Alphys sang as Memoryhead passionately and lovingly raped her with its many, many tentacles.

"I'm just MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE! I love tentacles and rape and sex!" Alphys sang as Lemon Bread chewed her up and jizzed all over her with its massive, slimy teeth.

"I'm just MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE! Never double-cross my ex!" Alphys sang as Reaper Bird shoved her into its vagina-mouth and...ahem..."digested" her, then spat her out onto the floor.

"Oh my god...OH MY GOD, THAT WAS SO FUCKING PRICELESS...OH MAN, THAT SHIT IS GOING TO GO VIRAL FASTER THAN YOU CAN EVEN SAY YEAST INFECTION!" Undyne nearly died laughing at Alphys' expense as she exhaustedly clicked the SLEEP button, wiping the hilarity-induced tears from her eyes and wanting to punch herself in the face for some reason.

"SLEEP MODE ACTIVATED!" Alphys said robotically, returning to her bed, curling up into a ball and falling asleep yet again as Undyne slipped out the exit to her brain, moved her eardrum back to where it was before, and finally jumped out of her ear, where she was caught in midair by Endogeny and carried over to where Alphys' vagina was.

"COME TO PAPA...OR SHOULD I SAY, MAMA..." Undyne drooled, ever-so-slightly regrowing herself to optimal size with the shrink ray's reverse function as she climbed onto Alphys' tail (after licking, kissing and sucking on it more than her fair share, of course) and eagerly, lovingly approached the fleshy, birthing hole in-between Alphys' legs with open arms.

"MAN, I ALWAYS KNEW ALPHYS WAS A PUSSY AND ALL, BUT THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS!" Undyne moaned as she excitedly crawled straight into Alphys' moist, slimy, dripping vagina, taking in the beautifully disgusting smell, feeling and licking the soft fleshy walls, and bathing herself in the untold amounts of seminal and possibly menstrual fluid contained within.

After several minutes of fucking Alphys from the inside, Undyne finally gave her an orgasm, flooding the entire cavern with Alphys' warm, gooey and sticky liquid bliss.

"MAN, if I wasn't a fish, I swear to God I'd literally be DROWNING in semen right about now!" Undyne laughed maniacally as she played with Alphys' cum, scooped it up into her hands and gulped it down valiantly, patting her belly and burping loudly once she was finally finished.

"OHH, how I wish that things could just stay like this forever..." Undyne moaned happily as she curled up into an adorable little ball and fell asleep INSIDE of Alphys' vagina, in which she had easily the greatest and most orgasmically comfortable sleeping experience of her life.


"Oh MAN, she is DEFINITELY going to feel THAT one in the morning...OH, WAIT, IT ALREADY IS THE MORNING! SHIT!" Undyne suddenly realized as she woke up deep inside the vagina of Alphys, who was already busy trying to pull her out with a pair of tweezers.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, YOU LIZARD SON-OF-A-BITCH!" Undyne yelled valiantly as Alphys finally caught her in the grip of the tweezers and held her up in front of her face.

"Undyne, I know that we've all done...certain things we're not proud of..." Alphys sighed, glancing over at Endogeny and petting it regretfully, "but what you just did last night was absolutely UNACCEPTABLE on so many levels that I don't even know where to begin!"

"Trust me, I'm SORRY! I really am!" Undyne begged Alphys desperately.

"SORRY, but SORRY just isn't good enough to make up for what you did." Alphys sighed, lifting her tweezers directly up above her head and opening her mouth real wide.

"No, PLEASE don't eat me, PLEASE! I'll do anything for you! ANYTHING, I SWEAR! JUST PLEASE SPARE ME, I'M BEGGING YOU! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Undyne cried and screamed, dangling by the leg from Alphys' tweezers as Alphys sarcastically said AHH and released her grip.

"GWAAAAAAH!!!" Undyne screamed in deathly terror as she rapidly plummeted into Alphys' gaping, ravenous maw...when all of a sudden-

"HURK?!" Alphys gagged as Undyne grabbed onto her big, dangling uvula and held on tightly.

"Coochie-coochie COO!" Undyne giggled as she tickled Alphys' swinging uvula with her claws.

"HIC...HURK...BLEEEAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" Alphys gagged, bent over and threw up, effectively puking Undyne out onto the floor, where she then rolled over onto her back and cowered beneath Alphys' intimidatingly colossal (to her) size as Alphys lifted her massive, sexy foot up and threatened to stomp on her.

"Adios, amigo!" Alphys chuckled, wiggling her toes seductively as she struggled to resist the urge to bring her foot down on top of her best friend and crush her to bloody, gory death.


"You know what? You're right, even though you probably have a disgustingly huge boner right now..." Alphys sighed, briefly placing the brightly blushing Undyne in-between her plump, cushiony lizard tits. "Yeah, I know, the contest was to see which one of us could pull a better prank than the other, but you just KIND OF really overdid it, you know what I'm saying?"

"YEAH...I know." Undyne sighed, using the reverse function of the shrink ray to grow herself back to normal size as Alphys set her down on the floor.

"Aw, c'mere, little buddy!" Alphys laughed, running straight into Undyne's open arms and cuddling her lovingly as the two of them prepared for the next two challenges, which would hopefully mark the grand finale of this story; thank god, I say!
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