Caitlin glanced disapprovingly out of the window, four panes held together by a cast iron cross in the middle. Her brow creased downwards at the vulgar sight before her. The enormous green tentage rose up from the formerly spacious back yard, most of it was grass regularly mowed by the help. It wasn’t much but still a lot better than the current occupant of the site. Caitlin spotted Jessica’s limo length feet sticking out from the tent flap, her left foot peeking out from inside, she was just able to make out the silhouette of the giantess from what light came through the tent.

The mere thought of her made Caitlin grind her teeth, to her Jessica was nothing but two hundred feet and thirty  one feet of problems moulded into the shape of a very young and distracting woman.

  She wasn’t alone, as several pages of angry emails printed out detailed what seemed to be everyone’s problems with her.

A sudden twitch of her feet made Caitlin flinch, the same reaction occurred  as Jack’s concerned voice came through, having finished with his morning business.

 “ You need to stop watching her through the tent like a stalker. If you want to say hi, just go down when she wakes up,” Jack chuckled with a wide grin.

Caitlin was hardly amused, scowling at him as she waved the pages upon pages of emails at him.

 Jack found her scowl to be on the adorable side, her thick eyebrows at a steep incline.

“What’s that?” Jack asked as he picked up his phone, it was time to update his  Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts while reading on the latest happenings around the world. That last part he did less these days since half of the articles were either about Jessica or connected to her. Few were pleasant reads, some calling her the first sign of the apocalypse, that was always an amusing read. Some wondered how long before she decided to overthrow the government and install herself as world leader. The rest were just parroting, plenty of fear mongering with little substance. Still, the public lapped it up. Jack remembered a petition being share on Facebook calling for the President to authorise a nuclear strike against her, it almost made him deactivate his Facebook account.

 “ Complaints! From almost everyone in Palm Creek, Harold sent a four page essay about her!” Caitlin tossed the emails onto the bed where they landed with a flutter. Jack picked a random page  to read.

 “ Oh, this is a bill for the road . Was wondering when that would show up. Fifty grand is on the cheap side for that blackened mess,” Jack hardly smiling. Harold had no legal power to make him pay for public damages, just a gift at being a nuisance.

 “ One week in and she has already set you back hundreds of thousands of dollars. That thing doesn’t even make any of her own money. She’s a leech, the worst kind of leech!”

Jack motioned for her to come closer, Caitlin stomping over with pouty lips on her tanned face. He kissed the top of her lavender scented head.

 “I get why you’re mad  but it's not easy to go from tropical island to the home of the rich and fabulous. Plus they’ve been rude to her. Even you Caitlin. It hasn’t been the smoothest transition so let's not kick up a fuss here. We’re all she has. ”

 “You’re the only person in the world who wants her here. I heard she was all ready to go back to whichever hole she crawled out from until you stepped in!” She jabbed a finger into his Jack’s chest, the impact reddening the area of contact. Jack rubbed it, uneasy but annoyed by her newest rant.

“ You stepped in and took her in like some mongrel. Jack, can’t you see that she is far from helpless!”

 “ Size isn’t everything Caitlin. She’s not a soldier anymore, she’s a homeless civilian and you know what she did for me. I can’t leave her just like that. You could try and and be friends? Not saying you need to tattoo her name onto your arm or anything like that, at least be acquaintances?”

Caitlin groaned, rolling her eyes at that. “ I would love to be friends with her but all she does is annoy and antagonise our neighbours. You weren’t there in Miami, she probably would have swallowed me whole. We don’t matter to her and I swear she is using you for food and a roof over her head. We’ll be dead if she ever decides we’re expendable.”

 Jack patted her head sympathetically, “ That was an accident, she already apologised for it didn’t she? Publicly in front of everyone just as you asked, so move on from it. She’s a-”

 Caitlin raised her head to stop Jack, knowing very well what he was going to say. He said it every time as if he had a recording of it.

 “ A giant super soldier created by her scientist father who just wanted to save her from cancer. Then the government came in and took her away to be this reluctant weapon. Okay, I get it. She comes with her own sob story. No, it's not that. She has no manners, not like us! She just does things because she knows we’re all too small to really fight back.”

 “Since when?” Jack got a little agitated by her latest accusation.

 “Two days ago Evelyn had her car destroyed by Shezilla over a few insults,” Caitlin said with an air of victory about her. The kind you got when your friends argued over a random fact and Google backed your facts up. Caitlin was on that high.

 “ Evelyn is a crappy driver, you and I both know that. I heard she drove into a pothole because she was texting and driving again ; and can’t bear to admit she wasn’t watching the road so she blames Jessica for it,” Jack pleaded his case as much as he could but his words bounced off Caitlin’s steely resolve.

 He knew that look, brows sloped downwards and that scowl on her mug, she wasn’t going to stop if he didn’t. An immovable object against a not so unstoppable force.

 “ Because Jessica made the hole! She stomped them into the road to get back at Evelyn for calling her a Babylonian whore!” Caitlin smacked him on his good arm for that turning of the cheek.

 Jack shrugged it off, “ Our roads aren’t made for it and I can say with certainty Jessica didn’t stomp it in. She’s too heavy for it and we can’t blame her for that.”

A little voice in his head said Caitlin would probably demand Jessica lose some weight if she could. Not that Jessica could ever be light enough to not crack asphalt, a person her size just wasn’t capable of that.

 “Then she shouldn’t be wandering around and destroying everything around her! ”

   “I’ll talk to her I about staying away from the ro-” Jack’s serious reply was cut off by a booming female voice blowing in from the window.

  ‘Morning guys!” Jessica’s thunderous greeting rattling the window frame.

  Caitlin jumped back in shock, Jessica’s brown eye staring at them through the window, Jack waving and chuckling over his girlfriend’s shock. Every day Jessica did it and every time it would have Caitlin falling over from the surprise of it all. He could have sworn she did it to wind up Caitlin, which was working since Caitlin never seemed to learn.

Caitlin, having recovered from the initial surprise ran up to the window, livid at what Jessica did. Jack thought if she were any angrier she’d be shaking her fist and then punching Jessica right in the eye.

 “Stop doing that, it's scary!”

Jessica’s eye pulled back as she herself moved several tens of feet from the window, having been on all fours before that ; arms bent and in the backyard while her knees were behind the hedge.

  “ Sorry but at least this time I didn’t do it while you were sleeping,” Jessica chuckled to herself. Jack looked at her, keeping his laughter down lest he risk coming under fire from Caitlin.

  “ Just don’t do it at all, you scare people easily.”

  “Alright I won’t but promise me you won’t be so jumpy.”

  “I make no guarantees,” Caitlin folded her arms, Jessica’s exuberance grating on her nerves. Worse still was how Jessica had already succeeded in souring her mood before lunch time.

“ Okay. Well I’m off for my morning run, see you guys around.” Jessica rose and ever briefly, her green skirt made of tentage material stretched tightly around her waist before riding up slightly to give Caitlin and Jack a peek at her buttcheeks, firm and well shaped from years of healthy living.

 Caitlin turned her back, sighing.

“ You better not be aroused by this. This is everything that is wrong with her. A freak of nature with no sense of dressing and a devil may care attitude.”

 “ Okay we got to stop this crusade against Jessica. She isn’t moving for a while okay? Let's talk about something else.”

 Jack grasped Caitlin's shoulder lightly while giving a hopeful toothless smile.

 “Well Harold is coming over.”

 “Oh again? You know I can’t stand the guy. Should ban him from the premises.”

 Jack considered calling in sick, telling Harold he caught some virulent and lethal strain of flu from the island and that he wouldn’t be available for the foreseeable future. But then he’d have to play sick until Harold stopped noticing and he actually wanted to go out and enjoy his life.

 “ I know but he had another run in with our large friend and he wants to talk to you about it.”

“Oh poo, can’t he just play nice?” Jack joked but not even getting a cricket chirp from his audience of one.

 “ Yeah I don’t like him either but we can’t just ignore him. He lives right next to us and you know he travels in the same circles as you.”

 “Plus he’s one persistent bugger, just won’t quit. Like he was a leech in his past life or something, just clinging on to someone and sucking the joy out of everything. No wait, he’s not a leech; he is a dementor. My personal dementor.”

Seeing Jack talk about Harold with disdain was an amusing sight for Caitlin but nevertheless, she knew his pain. Understanding it though was another matter entirely.

 “ Your parents seem to be okay with him. He gets invited whenever there’s a party here.”

 Jack snorted and laughed haughtily, “ The man invites himself. Neither my mother nor my father have the decency to throw trash like that out of the house. I hope Jessica will be like some  anti-Harold scarecrow to him, keep him away from us.”

  A loud ringing came from the bedside antique looking phone, Caitlin sauntering over to pick it up in her manicured hands. When she did, she heard the baritone voice of a man she recognised all too well.

  “ I’m outside, could you get Jeeves to open the door?”

   “Alright.”

  Jack sighed, it looked like he would have to waste his morning listening to Harold embark on another rant against his newest friend. He’d rather have his teeth plucked out one by one with pliers than listen to his latest tirade against Jessica.

 “ I’ll be heading downstairs. Don’t suppose you want to join me?” He looked hopefully, eyes begging her to join him. Caitlin shook her head and waved her hands , declining his offer.

 “This is your battle. I’ll be up here, making no noise and pretending I don’t exist.”

  Jack rolled his eyes, shaking his own head after being deserted by his girlfriend.

 “You do that while I let that bastard ruin my day.”

“Bye.”

 Caitlin waved to him as Jack trudged downstairs, stomping down as he let vented his anger on the floorboards, the parquet flooring offering no resistance against this sort of thing.

*********

Downstairs, Harold waited impatiently for Jack or someone to at least open the door. He wore his ubiquitous teal ascot and shades despite being indoors, he completed his look with a pair of khaki shorts and a plain white V-necked shirt.His gelled brown head of hair with a little Superman curl flopping on top of his forehead and large beak of a nose attached to what passed for a face.

 There was a click as the door unlocked, a petite middle aged Hispanic woman opening it. Her hair was tied up in a bun, hair net included. Normally she was in an amiable mood but seeing Harold, hers dropped like Jack’s. She eyed him up with her dark brown eyes, Harold towering above her by a good foot or so but he looked at her as if she were a hobo, a snobbish look upon his face.

“Ah Consuela, what took you so long? The tacos were getting burnt?” He asked, sneering down at her.

“My name is-”

“I don’t care.”

Harold brushed past her, not even waiting for her to move out of the door. Rosalyn was pushed back by the force, nearly losing her balance but she managed to catch herself.  He knew the interior well and he had to give props for the very classical Edwardian look, Jack knew how to decorate a house after all. Rosalyn shuffled towards him, directing him to the living room and pulling a chair for him.

“May I get you something sir?” She asked as nicely as she could. Most guests left the racism at the door but Harold seemed to ignore that piece.

“ Just get me something, other than tequila or that ale crap from England. Probably dumbed your master down that he’s adopting freaks. Get me something an American would drink,” he ordered to Rosalyn.

“Of course sir,” she answered with a sigh. She knew why he was here, even the help knew what Jessica got up to and despite all that, she had found the young giantess to be a very blunt but lovely girl. The incident was clear to her, why Harold was here and she only wished Jessica had somehow shut the man-child’s mouth.

 A thump from the stair got his attention, as did the next thump and then another as Jack emerged, looking weary despite only being awake for an hour. He muttered something unintelligible but if Harold had heard it, there would be hell to pay.

 “ Jack, it’s a pleasure to meet you. This is what, the third time this week?” Harold rose from his seat, smug grin on him as he shook Jack’s good hand.

 “ You too Harold. Yes it is, glad you can count.” He allowed himself the tiniest sliver of a smile as Harold winced at the little barb.  

 Both men sat at the table as Rosalyn brought them a pot of freshly brewed tea, Earl Grey being today’s tea of choice.

 “ Ah...tea,” Harold looked with disapproval.

 “ So...what brings you here on this fine sunny day? You look like you’ve got to be somewhere soon.”

Harold chuckled, Jack wished he had earplugs to block out every word he said. Alas, he didn’t although he’d settle for balls of cotton or anything to jam in inside his precious ear canal.

 “ You know why Jack, your guest is making trouble for all of us. Me in particular…”

 He gritted his teeth as unpleasant memories came to the fore, sipping from his tea. He almost gagged, there wasn’t even a grain of sugar there.

 “ You guys aren’t making it easy for her either. Give her time, she isn’t used to living among people again. You gotta understand that.”

 Harold chuckled again, this time it was pointed straight at Jack. Jack hated that.

 “ I understand her very well. She’s a bully Jack and you’re enabling here when you sit here without telling her off. Want to know what that thing did to me?”

He whipped off his glasses in a melodramatic fashion, folding the frame and slotting it against the neck of his shirt whilst glaring at Jack.

 “I don’t suppose I could say no?”

“It all started a couple of days ago…”

Jack slumped back against his chair, head resting lazily on his hand while Harold recounted his experience. He made a note to ask Rosalyn to spike his tea with vodka or whatever hard liquor they had next time Harold was around. Alcohol was his only escape right now.