Chapter 15 - The Remote 3’9”

I was roughly shaken awake Monday morning by Celeste.  She was “homeschooled” meaning Angela let her stay home and do what she wanted while she was at work.  I never understood why Angela refused to stand up to her own 8 year-old daughter.

“Hey Steve,” Celeste happily greeted, “will you play dollies with me?”

“Ugh, what time is it,” I asked groggily.

“10:30,” Celeste cheerfully answered, “will you play dolls with me?”

“Persistent aren’t we,” I asked with a smirk.

“Stevy,” Celeste started, “what does persistent mean?”

“It means you talk too much,” I jokingly replied.  Then I realized something, “wait did you say it was 10:30?  Crap, why didn’t your mom get me up for school?”

I hopped up from my air mattress, throwing the blankets to the side.  When I got to my feet the true gravity of my situation set in.  Standing next to Celeste, I only stood just under the height of her shoulder.  A mere five days before she stood barely to the height of my mid-chest, now she looked like an Olympic volleyball player.

My pants felt very loose again and hung down under my feet.  Even with my belt still tightened all the way, I had to hold up my pants.  My t-shirt hung down to my knees.

“Looky Steve, I’m older than you now,” Celeste cheered.

“How many times do I have to tell you Celeste?  Height doesn’t have anything to do with age,” I responded irritated.

“Does this make me your babysitter,” Celeste asked happily, completely disregarding my argument.

“No, I am still nine years older than you Cel,” I retorted.

“Now do you want to play Barbie with me little Stevy,” Celeste asked as she ruffled my hair around.

Just then my stomach growled.  I was starving, but didn’t know if I would be able to find something to have for breakfast in Angela’s apartment.  I used the new opportunity to come up with a solution.

“I’ll tell you what,” I started, “if you make me some breakfast, I will play dolls with you.”

“Ok,” Celeste said smiling ear-to-ear.

Celeste ran out of the bedroom straight to the kitchen.  I followed her out the door and sat on the couch.  Turning on the tv, I started flipping through channels.

Suddenly, Celeste appeared in front of me holding out a bowl of Fruit Loops.  I noticed that she forgot to get me a spoon.  I reached out and grabbed the bowl from her awaiting hands.

“Hey Cel, can you please get me a spoon,” I asked.

“Get it yourself little boy,” Celeste responded.

“That was very rude Celeste!  Do you want me to play Barbie with you or not,” I returned manipulatively.

Celeste stomped away and into the kitchen.  I heard a drawer slide open and the sound of silverware clattering together.  Celeste closed the door, walked over to me, and dropped the spoon into the bowl with a pout, and plopped down next to me on the couch. I set the remote on the couch in between Celeste and I.  I scooped up a spoonful of Fruit Loops and shovelled them into my mouth.

“There is literally nothing on tv,” I exaggerated.

“I can find something,” Celeste said happily.

I didn’t respond, I simply watched as she picked up the remote and pressed in a channel.  All of a sudden, My Little Pony appeared on the tv screen.

“Didn’t we watch enough yesterday,” I protested.

“I want to watch My Little Pony,” she said back with a pout.

“Well we can’t always get what we want can we,” I returned as I tried to snatch the remote out of her hand.

Celeste pulled away from my attempts fairly easily.  She then stood up holding the remote high in the air in her right hand.

“If you want to change to channel, you’re gonna have to come get it,” Celeste said with a grin, she was going to turn this into a game.

“Ok, I can play that,” I returned with a competitive tone.

I jumped up and reached for the remote.  Celeste simply countered my efforts by raising her arm higher.  I grabbed her arm and tried to pull it lower for myself to reach, but Celeste easily used her new size advantage to overpower me.  Her arm would not budge, I couldn’t believe it, my neighbor’s 8 year-old daughter was now larger and stronger than me.

I gave up after a short wrestling match and flopped on the couch.  I was in shock.  I quickly finished my bowl of Fruit Loops and took it to the kitchen to clean it in the sink.  I was horrified to see that the counter was now at my eye-level.

“Hey Cel, can you clean this bowl for me,” I asked, “I can’t really reach the counter.”

With a huff of protest, Celeste jumped up and came over to wash my bowl.

“You’re lucky I’m nice Stevy,” Celeste said grinning down at me.

I proceeded into the bathroom to take my next dose.  I knew my shrinking had reached a really bad point, but I needed the $15,000.  I looked up desperately at the medicine cabinet perched on the wall above the bathroom sink.  The counter in the bathroom was now about an inch taller than me.  I decided to climb.

I put my hands on the top of the counter and hoisted my body up.  As I got to my feet, Celeste appeared in the doorway.

“I thought you were going to play dolls with me,” she said obviously trying to guilt me.

“I am,” I replied, “I just need to take my next dose.”

“Ok, I will go get ready,” she cheered as she ran over to her dollhouse.

I set my priority back to the task that I faced.  When I opened up the medicine cabinet, I was greeted by a variety of pill bottles.  Antidepressants, anti-inflammatories and other typical household prescriptions.  

I saw the orange pill bottle and retrieved it.  I reached in and fished out a pill.  Before I took the pill, I checked the label, it was the HydroDyoxiBenzine.

“Sweet, got it on the first try,” I thought to myself.