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Another kind of weepy chapter...

Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon        

Wrapping her own arms around her daughter, Lina let the girl cry herself out, consoling her with soothing words as she wept. As much as she really wanted to find out about Tom, this uncharacteristic emotional display with Janine was unusual enough she figured she ought to be there for the distraught girl.

Disengaging her arms, Janine turned away from her mother, shaking her head.

“What is going on with you right now sweetheart?” Lina inquired, trying to make her voice reassuring.

Spreading her hands, Janine looked up toward the ceiling, “I really don’t know,” she said, sniffling and wiping at her puffy eyes. “I don’t know why this is affecting me like this, I,” she added, shaking her head again as words escaped her.

“Are you feeling bad for you or for Tom? You did abuse him pretty badly when he was in your care,” she said softly, despite the heavy feelings in the air, she found she had to repress a chuckle. Even in Janine’s heightened emotive state, the girl was still unbelievably radiantly beautiful.

“I know,” she acknowledged, looking at her mother, “But I bet you didn’t know that I actually swallowed him into my stomach?”

“What?” Lina inquired. She swallowed Tom? “Like a live goldfish or something? “On purpose?” Lina queried, masking the disquiet she felt as Janine revealed what she had done.

“You were on the stairs talking to me and he was in my mouth and I swallowed him. He went right down inside,” she explained, placing a hand on her tummy. “I actually thought about just leaving him there,” she admitted, lower lip quivering.

And she thought about leaving him to be processed in her stomach? There was something very wrong with type of thinking, but Lina tried to find the words to redirect the girl in a more positive direction. “But you didn’t leave him to die there, obviously you brought him back up or,” she paused, waiting for Janine to fill in the blank.

“I threw him up in the downstairs toilet. He wasn’t inside me very long and I don’t think my body started digesting him, but, but,” she trailed off, tears returning.

“But what?” she encouraged. “What else dear?”

“I used him in so many different ways, and,” Janine hesitated again, shaking her head softly.

“And?” prompted Lina, not entirely sure she wanted her daughter to reveal a full accounting of all of the atrocities she subjected tiny Tom to, though part of her mind wondered at the spectrum of things she had subjected the boy to, Tom had never said, never blamed her or called her a monster.

“I loved it. The sensations were fantastic and I took so much pleasure from it. Took pleasure not just in what was happening to my body, but by the fact I felt so powerful and there was nothing he could do except feed my desire,” she confessed, voice growing soft with the admission.

Lina too had taken from Tom, though there had been more of a sharing between them. She understood somewhat what it felt like to be in Janine’s position. He had been in pretty rugged shape when she found him in her room. In her conversation with Jessica about Tom being the catalyst to unleash a woman’s inner goddess, she had called Janine a goddess of war, of singular driven purpose. It was disquieting to see that purpose collapse in on itself and watch the girl unravel. On the other hand, the admissions Janine was making demonstrated an emerging elevated awareness of self, a recognition of hedonistic puerilism and the associated attitudes and behaviors attached to it. Maybe her little girl was actually growing up? Or maybe it was just a very convincing ploy. She remembered Janine’s feigned remorse after the accident followed up by her declaration that Tom belonged to her. Her instinct said real, but she doubted herself. She hadn’t thought seeing Tom would make Jessica bold enough to attempt to abduct him. She also thought Raphaella could be delayed by misdirection.

“I just want to stop crying,” she said, wiping at another tear tracing a path over her perfect cheek.

Lina smiled, not in amusement at the girl’s obvious discomfiture and distress, but empathizing with the pain she was expressing. Another thought crossed her mind. If it was real, and she still wasn’t entirely sold on the idea of its legitimacy, how long would the newfound conscience last? “Are you seeking forgiveness? Absolution?” she inquired.

Janine shook her head slowly, mouth pulled back, eyes downcast.

“What then? Do you want him back?” she inquired.

“I only want him to be okay,” Janine countered.

There was no audience, no witnesses to put on a show for, maybe it was heartfelt? Nodding, Lina smiled. “I’m going to check in with Cassidy and see about Tom. I think it’s probably best if you just stay here in your room for now, compose yourself,” she said, getting to her feet.

“Okay,” Janine said, sniffling again at her runny nose.

Crossing the carpeted floor of the room, Lina paused at the door, looking back toward her daughter, “I know you are going through something very difficult right now, but I want you to know I love you honey girl,” she said, smiling warmly and reassuringly.

“Thanks mom,” Janine replied, laying down and rolling onto her side facing away from the door. “I love you too.”

Closing the door, Lina nodded to herself. Given this display of uncharacteristic emotion from her youngest child, now was definitely not the time to unveil the fact that Tom’s mother was coming to stay in their house in two days’ time and that Janine was going to need to reside elsewhere in the interim.

For the moment, she decided she needed to assess the damage caused by Jessica’s impulsive behavior, not just to Tom, but to the situation. She knew attempting to mend fences with Cassidy could not be easily done over the phone. Grabbing her shoes and a suitable jacket, she made her way out to the car.

 

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