I think I’ve seen it in a dream. An endless plane of smooth, perfect snow stretching out in every direction till it meets the far horizon. The haze in the distance blends the porcelain surface with the dark violet haze of the night sky. There is nothing between me the vastness of an untouched world. It is bare, cold, peaceful. I’ve seen it a dozen times at least these last few weeks. Perhaps I’m just assimilating the real world into what little pool of hope I have left. There are days when my whole world is the inside of a tent; dim, unchanging, a tiny oasis of canvas and crumpled paper. Bleak ruin seems to stain its walls like the inky blood of some unholy thing beneath the floorboards. Then, on the days I choose to come out, I lift the flap of my shrinking home and step out into the real world.
Its winter. The same winter it had been yesterday. The same winter it had been two weeks ago. The same winter it will be tomorrow. It’s always so cold here in the North. The pine trees of the surrounding woodland loom like petrified sentinels, lacking in capability or perhaps motivation to stave off the mounds of windswept snow. Where there is usually a hollow whistle of coursing gusts, there is now the distant rumble of portable generators. Power has become increasingly scarce, particularly in this region. Heat and light are particularly rare in these wilderness outposts. In the past, I’d heard good things about the Tattered Legion, but having finally arrived at Camp Whiskey nearly a month ago I’d found their facilities and their methods severely lacking, even in these harsh times. The Blue Shirts were corrupt yes, but at least they had stable facilities. Likewise, did they butcher innocent migrants due to some kind of twisted Social Darwinist ideology.
As I wander toward the communications depot the last of the fleeting sunlight is swallowed by spreading clouds. Militiamen shuffle single file through the gravel infused slush on an adjoining pathway. Darkness falls for a moment, before a string of warm white lights spark to life amongst the support beams of a rickety sentry tower. I haven’t seen lights like these in a long time. They remind me that normally Christmas would be coming soon. I haven’t celebrated a Holiday in over three years. Few have been given the luxury. Apparently up here amongst the Legion, a surprisingly devout group, annual celebrations are still held to maintain morale. I can’t say I blame them, it really comes down to the little things.
“Ellis?” a voice calls out from behind me. My neck aches as I twist around to glimpse my addresser. Before I can I am met by a sturdy slap to the back. I let out a surprised fit of coughing which dies down as the stranger begins again. “There you are. Haven’t seen you for some time. Legion been pushing more work onto you?” I catch the man’s face. He is tall, thick, with a square head that is only further accentuated by his shaven head.
“No Brass just…haven’t had the desire to be wandering around. You know how it is…hard enough for me to be working when they don’t really give me anything to work with.”
Brass is a nice enough guy, but when it comes down to it he’s just another self-righteous pawn like the others. That may be a bit cynical, but ever since Juliet I’ve been…well, let’s just say not my usual self.
“What do you mean no work?” he asks with some bewilderment. “We got that female pushing on our territory, disrupting our operation a month back. Isn’t that worth your time?”
I shake my head and continue walking. Sure enough he follows at my side.
“Not exactly, I got here after her…intervention. So I didn’t really get to see her myself. No one will tell me about the incident either…” At first Brass doesn’t respond, leaving only the crunch of our boots in the compacted snow. After another twenty feet of travel, he finally pipes up once more:
“Well, its hard to remember everything ya know? All happened real fast, real chaotic like. I’ve told you everything I know at least”
“I know Brass, I know” I say with some hint of defeat. My head hangs so that my chin rests against my chest as I watch the chunks of ice skid across the frozen earth below me.
“What’s really wrong man?”
“I don’t know. Nothing I suppose. Bored.”
Brass doesn’t seem to take too kindly to my statement. Rather he fumes quietly to himself. I’ve observed this in many other soldiers here. They seem consumed by a certain sense of jealousy when faced with others that do not encounter the similar dangers. They feel like their service is unappreciated. Ah, damn, there I go again diagnosing all willy-nilly. Fuck it though, I’m not getting anything else done.
“Well if you’re so bored you could always go out looking for the huge bitch yourself.”
My jaw clenches as I listen. His voice is laden with a sort of mocking incredulity. I stuff my hands in my pockets and try to act like his statement doesn’t bother me.
“Hell, ol’ Enoch went out about the time you showed up and hasn’t been back since. Never really understood what he was looking for. Poor bastards probably dead.”
There was really no doubt about it. I’d heard about this ‘Enoch’. Some crazy son of a bitch who thought he was chosen by God. Wanted to test out his ‘divine providence’ by seeking out the female in the area. I’d bet he lasted about thirty seconds before she had him crying and begging like a desperate child. Typical. Sounds to me like the kid suffered from some serious delusions of grandeur. Then again, as the giants continue to spread out over the entire world I’ve noticed several power complexes manifesting in both human and titan alike.
“Besides…” Brass goes on. “After that whole story you told us, about ol’ what’s her name. Vera? Yeah, you got fairly close with a bunch of them. I’m sure you could talk her into leaving us-“
“This is my stop” I say abruptly, stopping with a slight skid before Brass can continue. When I am at last still I twist my head to the left till I see the ‘COMMS’ sign hanging limply over the doorway of the half-buried shack. In the corner of my eye I can see Brass giving me an uncertain look.
“Right sorry, I know you don’t like talkin’ about it much. After that crazy shit you’d been through …”
“Its fine” I respond quickly, my voice quivering with contrition. I feel the push and tug of memory, implementing its cruel tricks on the wrinkles of my cortex.
“Why ya here at comms anyway?”
Should I tell him? How much would he believe? I’m not even sure that I want him to know, it’s silly and almost traitorous. I can feel his unscrupulous eyes probing me, peeling away my skin, my thoughts, my most base aspirations. Tentatively, I give him a sideways glance to telegraph my discomfort but he doesn’t seem to care or notice.
“I got a message about another subject…one roaming to the south. Seems to have taken a liking to some of the wandering caravans.”
Brass stares back with crudely constructed curiosity. I can’t gauge his attitude precisely, but then again I’ve been having problems gauging anything lately. His jaw goes slack and shifts from side to side as he contemplates a proper response.
“Right” is all he says before turning on his heels back toward the tarp covered HQ in the distance. “I guess I’ll catch ya later. Good luck with…whatever it is you got going.”
I stare at his shrinking silhouette. He seems to shimmer against the otherworldly white glow given off by the twinkling strands of lights hanging around us. How tacky. Nevertheless, I try to not dwell on other’s opinions any longer. With a slow, sideway shuffle I push the swinging door aside and enter the communications shack. It is a single room, cluttered with moldy card tables topped with radios, scattered circuit boards, and antiquated cellular phones. The air is unusually thick, carrying the nagging scent of solder and ozone. Two men wait inside, leaning on a long table with their heads tilted away. The sound of my crunching footsteps seizes one’s attention.
“Luce, wake up!” he grunts to his companion.
“Wuh?”
“We got a visitor, come on, up!”
The first man stands, dusting off his dark green coat. He seems tired like the rest, with a unshakeable sense of disappointment plastered onto his face. As I saunter closer he appears to avoid eye contact by fiddling with a HAM radio.
“Who are you?” the figure named Luce eventually groans.
“Errr…I’m Ellis, I was told you had a-“
“Ohhh, right right right...” Luce droned. In a sudden flash of energy, he spun around in his chair till he faced an adjoining desk. Whilst rifling through a stack of crumbled notes and papers he rambles on to himself, making some crude comments about ‘shorter days’. Meanwhile the other officer waits silently in the corner, his arms crossed in a gesture of quiet apathy.
“Ah, here it is! For Mr. Ellis…something about…oh damn…” but before Luce can continue on I snatch the note away. He gives me an abrasive sigh before turning back to the desk. I can hardly believe it. One of the truck runners told me about it first, but I was in disbelief. Only now, as I hold the letter in my hand, as I scan its lines with unending fervor I know it to be true.
For the one called “Jung” or “Ellis”, believed to be hiding out near Camp Whiskey.
I am just a wanderer. I have no home. No camps will take me. A couple years ago I was branded by the Deluge for deserting their cause. For that I travel with another group of outcasts, aimlessly travelling from one shore to the other. A week ago, we were discovered. A giant, a female, she found our meager caravan. She was hurt and she was desperate. I thought we were goners but instead of smashing us into the dirt she spoke to us. Said her name was Eliris, or something like that. Said she wanted our help. She was looking for you, I don’t know why, we never asked. Of course we didn’t know what to make of this, and that was pretty clear to her. So she followed us, she kept other roving giants from preying upon us. After a few days I relented. I said I’d do what I could to reach you, and I have. I suppose you may know what’s going on, whoever you are. All I can say is that she is eager to find you. She plans to go North and asks that you seek her out when she arrives. This is all beyond me, but if you want my advice…run! This Eliris has been good enough to us, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that it is probably safer to keep as far away from these things as possible. Well best of luck to you Jung or Ellis or whatever your name is. Sounds like you’ll need it.
-A Stranger
Meanwhile…
The earth bleeds. The vital humors of its rocky flesh spew forth in a raging shower of untampered heat. Even the lands surroundings these narrow wounds radiate with scalding energy. Normally the humans avoid this area, as its temper is typically unforgiving. The lands around these natural geysers have always been beautiful, but that has rarely led to ideas of habitation. Yet, despite the howling winds and the raging eruptions of flesh-melting water there waits a small hovel hidden away amongst a row of pine trees. Two vehicles, both withered well past their practical use, lie beneath the leaning trunk of a particularly ancient cedar. They are covered by fallen branches in a crude attempt at camouflage. Behind it, the tiny camp bustles with activity, exuding a mixture of white smoke and calm, careful chatter. In all, it would have been a sufficient little hiding spot, had it not been for the towering titaness sitting next to the sheltered glade.
She sat with her knees pressed against her chest and both arms wrapped around her shins. Her auburn hair was surprisingly smooth, and its splayed out along the course of her huddled shoulders. She sat looming like one of the mountains, still and unshakeable. The giantess stared off into the distance, her grey eyes wide and intense. Every once and a while one of the nearby humans would steal an uncertain glance up at their colossal companion. Everything that had happened over the last five years taught them to avoid giants at all costs. They had survived thus far on grit and instinct. It was strange now to consider this enormous woman a temporary ally. They had known her for only a week’s time, and already they seemed able to move about comfortably in her presence. Well…almost comfortably.
Just four days prior they had crossed the path of a pair of males make their way South for the winter. They tried to coerce her into handing them all over. The two would have gone through the meager group in a matter of seconds. Strangely enough she stood defiant, eventually drawing forth a crude knife to fend off the two greedy gluttons. As far as they knew, she only wanted one thing. They met her request yet still she lingered. Still she guided their path. It was becoming…unnerving. Where once she seemed to trail after them out of some innocent sense of misdirection, now she “suggested” their every action with growing dominance. No one wanted to say anything of course. How could they after all? There was only one among them that felt capable.
“Eleer-us?”
The giantess paused in her quiet mutterings and peered down to a nearby hilltop. There, amidst a patch of tall yellow grass was a tiny figure, dressed in faded flannel and torn denim. Over his shoulder was a cracked hunting rifle.
“Yes…” Eliris replied, her eyes wandering as if she were drowning in a dream.
“El, down here!” the man cried out again. His voice had begun to lose its intensity over the last few days. He knew that pneumonia or some other lung disease must have been setting in.
“I told you not to call me that Fox”
“Sorry…” the man sheepishly responded. His face was wrought with numerous creases. The last year had aged him nearly a decade. Already his reddish mop of hair was giving way to the flecks of gray. Even his scraggly beard betrayed the silver touch of old age.
“What is it?”
“Huh?” Fox grunted in return. Finally, Eliris’ eyes shot to him and he felt a nagging knot form in his stomach.
“What did you want to tell me?” she asked in a monotonous tone.
“Well actually I just had something to ask…”
“What did you want to ask me then?”
Fox fell silent. A sudden urge to flee sank into his core, but his joints remained locked in place. He waited a minute too long and Eliris grew impatient. To her, his silence was a sign of dissension and mistrust. As if by reflex she lashed out. Her had crashed into the hillside behind him, forming an impassable wall of skin. With a slight twist she scooped him up into her huge palm, which she cautiously brought up to her face. Once Fox tumbled into place he managed to roll onto his back. Gasping for breath and courage he shot up with both hands held in front of him.
“Geez, god damn don’t…please don’t do that” he whimpered.
“I don’t always know my own power…” Eliris coldly stated. Her eyes narrowed and her breaths became short. “What is it? I’ll not repeat myself again…”
Fox had not seen this side of Eliris yet. Though he suspected it lurked somewhere deep inside, he always assumed it had been substantially buried beneath a thick layer of desperate apathy. Now, as she stared at him with those near lifeless eyes he realized that there was no going back.
“Its just…I did what you asked. I sent your message to that Ellis guy or whatever he was called. I gave you a bearing toward Camp Whiskey. I just thought…I assumed you’d be gone by now…not that we’re…you know…not appreciative and all.” Eliris didn’t blink once. “You know for the…protection and such. I just…err.”
“Stop” Eliris finally said. Fox immediately fell silent. Under his breath he tried to stifle his nervous laughter. There was so little emotion in her face.
“Do you know why I wanted your help?” she eventually asked.
“To…to find this Ellis?”
“And do you know why I must find him?”
Fox swallowed hard in a feeble attempt to remove the lump in his throat. It was no use. Everything he’d done, the hard winter’s he’d endured, the pain, the turmoil, the nightmares; it was all waisted the second he thought he could get along with one of these monstrous beings.
“No”
At last she smirked. It was warm, almost friendly. Yet what she said next seemed contradict it.
“He killed someone I respected.”
“Oh?” Fox squeaked back. “How’d he manage that?” Eliris smirk gave way to a full blown smile.
“That’s not important. All you need to know is you…and the rest of your little group here, you all owe me. Now I could bully you into submission like the rest but no…no I want you to have a chance to feel something. Call it loyalty, not just fear. Well, maybe both.”
“I-I don’t follow” Fox’s words trailed off into the steam addled air. With one final smirk Eliris cast her gaze down onto the rabble below. They were few, only about twenty or so remained after months on the road. They had tried to ignore the conversation but her eerie words had set them all on edge.
“You will soon enough…But first, we must make some new friends…”