Numbness. Agitation. Then, through the sticky atmosphere all functions ceased. There was a shuttering that knocked against the back of my head. Something else joined in as well. It was a low rumble which pivoted on a razor’s edge. It was twisting at my skin until I finally sobered  myself out of the descending catatonia. It was Amora’s voice.

“What? Are you having a heart attack?”

As if disgusted by me, she let me slip and tumble down toward the floor. I landed hard on my feet, allowing a terrible, crippling pain to bite at my ankles.

At first I didn’t know what she meant, both literally and figuratively. By the time my brain actually registered and deciphered her words it was too late. Gravity pulled me down onto the floor. My scapula separated, by vision darkened. Maybe it was Amora’s shadow passing over me. I don’t remember exactly. What I do  recall though, is looking down and seeing every extremity convulsing wildly. I had never had an episode quite so bad.

Normally time slowed down for me in such stressful situations. I would bite at the back of my tongue just so that the arms of the clock would speed around a little bit fast but now...now everything was distorted. No frame of reference could accurately prescribe my internal and external judgment. There was no telling change of light, no drop in temperature, or ageless racing of the mind because I had no means of registering any such sensation. I was aware, however, that I remained prostrate for what seemed like a couple of seconds. It wasn’t until I noticed my vision shift that time seemed to slow back down. I remember being dragged along the floor but sensing nothing tactile about it. I couldn’t feel whatever force was pulling me along, nor did I experience the smooth but gripping surface of the white floor as I passed over it. Lights danced in my eyes. Something clamped down around me. Then I lost all perception.

When I came to I found myself leaning against an aluminum wall just outside the capsule’s inner chamber. Something salty and bitter burned my nostrils. When my eyes rolled back into place i noticed a wrinkled hand holding a small glass bottle next to my nose. Reflexively my hand shot up and slapped it away. My eyes were drowned in hot tears and the muscles in my chest ached from excessive use. The same wrinkled hand moved in the corners of my vision before I felt it strike me viciously across the face.

“What the fuck!” I cried out.

“Oh good, you made it…” The grumbling voice of Constable Speck droned. Tears continued to cloud my vision as I rocked side to side in a feeble attempt to crawl back up along the length of the wall with my spine. Finally, things became clear again. I looked up directly in the fluorescent lamp overhead. Its stinging rays of light singed my retinas but also made me feel somehow calmer. The grotesque pulsing of blood in my face made me feel as though I had been held upside for hours.

As my gaze dropped I caught sight of a collection of faces. The first that I identified was Constable Speck. His jaunty look was less genuine than usual, but I suppose that’s to be expected. No one here was made aware of my condition, and to be honest I didn’t think it would be necessary to mention it. But a combination of stress and my recent unhealthy behavior was the perfect formula for an attack of this caliber. Curious thoughts began to bounce around the interior of my skull. How did I get out of there? Did Amora actually help me? That was unlikely.

“Geez, you really had us worried there for a sec my boy. Thought that maybe she had done something to you”

Uh oh. I knew that voice. Its chipper cadence was all too familiar to me now. I once again readjusted my eyes and saw the old man crouched in front of me. It was he who had woken me with the smelling salts. Ugh, that’s what was giving me that awful headache. No wonder they fell out of use. The nausea that it left me with was worse than my seizure. I felt like vomiting and in the end I think I did. Things were kind of a blur. I remember being led to a table and given plenty of water, most of which I regurgitated into a nearby tin bucket.

“That’s it, let it out. You’ll feel better, you had quite a nasty fall there.” Cinna went on. Right now, his voice was the last I wanted to hear. He was right though. As my senses returned to me and the sickly feeling in my head dissipated, the ache in my ankles grew. They weren’t broken...perhaps sprained. It was hard to say. I was lucky, I’d have to remember that.

“Wha-how did you guys get me? What happened?” I recall blabbering. Even in my stupor I could detect the slur in my speech. Cinna nodded with a slight hint of condescension. Speck shook his head with concern.

“Also where? Where did you come from I thought-”
Cinna raised a hand to silence me. “No worries my boy. I took a little...detour is all. Preparing for the next attack and all. Things are about to get hairy but as always…” he paused and turned to the assembled crowd which I had failed to notice. “WE WILL GIVE THEM HELL!” he roared triumphantly. The others reared up to match his enthusiasm. Only Constable Speck seemed unmoved by the old man’s fervor.

“So you’ve been, what, hiding in the woods?”

Cinna chuckled coyly. “Nonsense, just a little recon. Here and there. set a few traps, made a few plans. Its just like you said. I’m always prepared.”

“ANd you think you can win?” I quickly countered.

“Why, my boy…I know we can!”

Again the others roared with passion. Their valorous cries slammed into my cranium, sending shockwaves through my temples. I doubled over again, clapping both hands over my ears. Cinna, seeing my distress, calmed the crowd by raising both hands. Once the clamor died out he knelt back down and placed a bony hand on my shoulder.

“No worries lad, sure people are migrating out of here, and well they probably should! But, we have everything under control.”

“I don’t have-I don’t enough time...when are they?”

“Coming?” Cinna quickly finished my inquiry. “They’ll be here within a day or two. Preparations are being made once more. We’ll have to fight in the shadows. Too few supplies. But, again you won’t need to worry about it. We are sending you home.”

“I---no...I’m not ready. I need more time...with her!”

“Her?” Cinna asked. His hairy brow furrowed as he exchanged a few glances with the others. “She’s part our plan, we need her. She’s the most important part. Dont’ you worry your little head about it. Besides you said it yourself...she’s too dangerous. Go home. Go to your other giant lady-friend. You like her anyway right?”

“I-” my mouth dug for words. I formed their syllables silently against my pallet. Some looked on as though I had lost my mind. Maybe I had. Maybe I was still coming out of it. Whatever the case may have been I was struggling to find footing.

“I hear you’re real chummy with her.” one strange man’s voice called out. I shot a look in the mysterious figures direction and saw that it was one of the Blue Shirts who had accompanied me. His comment was joined by the  angry booing of the crowd. Some threw various bits of garbage at me. I tried to shield myself from their projectiles but it was pointless given my state.

Constable Speck held up his arms and bellowed back: “Hey, cut it out all of you. Step back, Step back!”

Cinna leaned in closer and whispered to me. “Don’t mind them none. They don’t understand the importance of what you do. Not like I do. I know that in order to kill these things we have to get inside their heads. Its hard to do both the killing and the head infiltration, that’s why I need you. We’ll talk a bit later, I want to hear what you have on these three here. But for now, just let it go…” he paused and looked around before returning to me. His breath was stale and had the distant scent of soil. I recoiled as his hushed words brushed against me. “This is a time and place for soldiers, not scholars. Go back to Juliet. You’ll be thankful you did.”

I nodded, though it was a thoughtless gesture. I paid him and the others no obeisance. I stood and left. Some tried to help me along my way, others just spat at my feet. I just pushed past all of them. By the time I had reached the docks again I found the sun was reaching out into the sky. Nightfall would be happening within the hour. Many boats with their captains waited down by the dock. The sensible thing to do would have been to climb into any one and ride back. But I, for some reasons still unknown to me, decided to go pick another fight. I saw Nixie’s watercraft bobbing at the far end of the pier. She looked out across the water. The sunlight reflected off her hair and blinded my already weary eyes.

As I drew near I called out to her: “Permission to come aboard captain?”

She turned her head ninety degrees so that her left caught sight of me. She immediately turned back and, after an exhausted sigh, responded: “Sure, get on”

I climbed aboard and waited. The soft rush of the evening wind along the surface of the lake chilled my skin. I sank against the seat’s leather and wished that it would all just be a dream. That I would wake up, six years earlier and everything would be ok. My eyes shut. The air caught my hair and tugged at it gently. Finally the roar of the motor brought me back. Nixie was in the process of unhitching the boat from the dock when our eyes met.

“You look well…” she droned sarcastically.

“As well as  you”

I’ll admit, it was not the most tactful response. She gave me a quick scowl before turning back to the helm.

“Sorry…” I sheepishly added soon after. She gave no response. A few seconds went by. It wasn’t until we were carefully cruising along the lake’s placid surface that I finally spoke again.

“Nixie, I don’t understand why you hate me so much. Is it because of what I do?”

“No” her response was quick and jagged. Much faster and much more poignant than I was expecting.
“Then what is it? What did I do to you?”

“Its because of what you didn’t do-” she growled. Again I was at a loss for words. I didn’t quite understand her meaning. I searched the annals of my brain for some explanation but the effects of the smelling salts still clogged its channels.

“Excuse me? What do you mean?”

She turned back to me, again our eyes met, and again it was awkward.
“Nevermind.”

“No seriously tell me”

She paused. Just as I began to stand up to really assert myself she pushed the throttle on the boat forward. I was sent back against the seat with a silent thud.

“You really want to know then? I’m surprised. I thought you were supposed to be able to figure this kind of thing out.”

“Just tell me!” I screamed.

“Fine. Ellis...Jung...whatever. As soon as I heard about you and what you did I was excited. But then I heard you got recruited by Psyn Corps. That you were finding excuses to execute these...things. That you were just another cog in their machine-”

“I’m not a member of--”I started off too loudly. I adjusted my voice and continued “That’s insane I’m not part of Psyn Corps. I’m not a part of their machine. If anything I’m against them. They’re up to some shady stuff. Is that all?”

“I just thought…” she went on. “That you of all people would be able to help. But you are either too blind or too deep in their pocket to give a shit.”

“Give a shit about what?”

She turned around sharply. Her eyes burned with anger. I swallowed and leaned back in my chair.

“Oh come on you cannot tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“Noticed what?”

She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. Every once in awhile she looked back over her shoulder to ensure her bearing was straight.

“Did you not notice how people have been acting strange here? Depressed then happy. Weirdly content or furiously violent?”

“Err I mean...yeah I guess but these are stressful times I just thought-”

“Thought nothing!” she retorted. “These Psyn Corps guys...they’ve been doing something. Some kind of tests...on their own people! The people they are supposed to protect.”

“Wha-” I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say. I mean...I would never have thought anything like this would be going on. Then again I wasn’t terribly surprised it was either. “Well do you have any proof.”

“Look!” she said pointing toward shore. Along the stretch of canvas tents a crowd had gathered in what looked like some kind of horrible melee. People screamed, yelled, growled with primal rage. It was a mess. “That should be proof enough. Tell me, do the people in your old camp act like that…”

“Well...I guess...no, I guess they don’t really.”

“No, of course they don’t that’s because Psyn corps...is ...nevermind”

Nixies words trailed off as she slowed the boat down once more. There was more I needed from her. What she was telling me...it was...a game changer. It would profoundly affect what was to come next. Several times my jaw dropped only to have another slow, steady breath escape instead of words. When she finally pulled us into port she turned back to me. Feverish waves of anguish continually pounded against my gut. Could this sort of treachery be real? It seemed unfair, medieval...dangerous. Yet, I could not help but think she was right. I finally found what I needed to say only to have her cut me off once more:

“Get off my boat…”

There was a haze in front of the sun when I stepped out of my quarters the next morning. Grey stretches of clouds kept the blue sky from breaking through. It's overcast kept the land in a subtle chilling grip. I tried to smooth out the wrinkles in my clothes as I descended the wooden staircase to the ground below. With one deep breath I took in a lungful of morning air and nearly gagged. It was crisp. Too crisp.

I opted to skip breakfast once again. I had spent all night lying awake in bed thinking about what Nixie had said. All its toxic vowels eating away at the veins in my limbs. All of its boiling, viscous turbidity flooding the cavities of my head. How were they doing it? Obviously some kind of drug. I knew they were working on something like that. Mood altering drugs seemed to be their speciality. It's what they were doing to Vera after all, and ever since Nixie mentioned it, I had suddenly become aware of just how strange everyone was acting. It must have been in the food, it was the only explanation I could think of.

Eventually I stood back at the holding chambers atrium. I opted to take a different ferry over.  I never bothered to speak with any of the other base personnel when I entered. I figured they didn’t care what happened to me anyway. Just as I was making my final approach to the vault door I heard Speck’s voice cut in.

“Gulliver...I mean, Ellis, wait now. I know what you must be thinking right now but you really must be-”

“Constable Speck” I said rather loudly. When I turned to face him I saw that he was drenched in sweat. His portly exterior wattled grotesquely as he came to an abrupt stop in front of me. After a few moments of his heavy wheezing he finally piped up.

“Ellis, now...please I need you to get to the evac….transports...soon.”

I felt a scowl cross my face. Such expressions were not natural on me, and I could feel it hang with disdainful aggregation.

“With all due respect, Constable, I came here to do a job. I’m not leaving until it is done. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have someone to interview.”

With the passing of my words my power seemed to return. I pushed past the Constable boldly and strode forward. For a moment I felt what the giants must have craved since they first decided to come here. Power. It was an intoxicated experience. But it faded quickly, for, as the doors slid aside effortlessly the overwhelming sense of smallness seized me again. I stood staring at the wide expanse of the misty inner chamber. All the terror that I had previously experienced waited to take my hand and walk me inside.

As I entered though, it felt as though the atmosphere was trying to push me back out. Like I was some foreign matter that had come to contaminate the pristine interior. I kept pushing though. Dizziness briefly distracted me but I kept my course.

When I stepped out into the chamber I saw Amora sat against the wall I had entered from. her hand and attention both pressed against the flimsy barrier. It looked as though she had scratched away some of the material on the plexiglass, giving her  a pure, unblemished view of the outside world. She waited like an anxious dog.

I paused as I looked up at her. I considered primordial things. The building of mountains the carving of the seas. I thought about all the myths and legends I used to hear as a child. About the Titanomachy and the Jotuns of norse myth. Nothing was like it was in those stories. Amora was, in every reference to me, a goddess. As was Vera. Yet, even as I looked up at the horrendously large stretches of space taken up by her torso and her various limbs I realized that their deific bearings were vastly different. Amora reminded me of nature. She was terrible and furious. Scything through life as though she were an evil hurricane. She had to be appeased, sated, quelled. Vera on the other hand  was something else entirely. Sure she needed to be contained as well but...it wasn’t so vicious. She needed to be amused, praised, separated. I struggled to understand which was more god-like.

“What?” Amora’s voice finally boomed from overhead. I’ll never understand just how these giants know when I’m around. Whatever. After I recollected my thoughts I arched my neck back up and cleared my throat. Amora hadn’t peeled her eyes away from the sliver of unphased light flooding in from outside.

“I wanted to continue where we were yesterday.”

“Hmph” she smirked. “You mean before you had your little seizure?” The satisfaction she got from my pain was horrid. At least when I had an attack back and Juliet, Vera showed some concern. Sometimes I had to remind myself just how different these two were.

“Yes...well, you had something interesting for me. I want to hear more about it…”

“Mhmm” she hummed. Still her gaze was fixed. I felt like a substitute teacher being spurned by an unruly class. My intended tactics were skewed as a result. It was one thing to try and demand something from a giant. It was another thing to demand something from a giant who hated your guts. Demanding something from a giant who didn’t even acknowledge your existence, well, that’s something entirely different.

“Amora…” I cried out once more. Still nothing. As I kept my wary eyes upon her massive limbs I began making my way toward the edge of the outer platform. When I took my seat I gave a silent thanks that she at least did not lash out at me.

“So, little man.” she finally stated. “What do I have to do to get rid of you today?”

Her abrupt comments left me a little startled. She finally peeled her attention away from the glass and directed it back down to me. Her eyes were not cruel this time. In fact they seemed a little eager, perhaps even excited.

“I have, just four questions for you today. I need you to answer them truthfully. If you do I’ll leave and...well I probably won’t be back.”

Her eyes narrowed. The old serpentine glimmer returned to them. It made a lump form in my throat. Suddenly, her right hand slithered down off the wall and slid down next to me. Though there was little force in their passage I still felt their presence in my peripheral vision. Terror. That was all that held dominion in my mind. Like death looking over my shoulder.

“That doesn’t sound good for me…” she said.

“Its not…”

“Hmph…” she smirked again. “It won’t matter...I won’t be in here much longer anyhow”

She knew. I don’t know how she knew but she did. That’s why she was in such a good mood. That’s why she was staring into the outside world. This would make things...difficult.

Trying my best to dismiss this from my mind I attempted to organize my thoughts and put them forward.

“Well…” Amora blurted out with some of her usual aggression. “Get on with it!”

“Ok, ok . Firstly, what did you mean by Vera had been here before? Did you mean to this world?”

“Ugh, yeah I guess. She said she had been through once already. She said it was going to cause problems. That’s all we ever got out of her.”

“Hmm ok, alright that’s...interesting. Give me a sec.”

“Ugh hurry up”

What spite! What little enamel of eagerness surrounded her I was chipping away at it with my mere presence. She would soon return to her usual state of agitation. Cautiously, I stood, planting my feet further apart than usual in anticipation for any potential seismic activity. Amora leaned back against the far wall, letting both hands slump down into her lap.

“Ok so, I wanted to know where you and the others were going when you first came through the valley.”

Amora rolled her eyes once more and let out a long, frustrated groan.

“I thought I told you already, we got a tip about one of your little camps. Thought we check it out.”

“Yes, I know I know. But, who told you exactly?”

As she deciphered my words, Amora’s mouth slipped back into a tight, malicious smile. I looked up sheepishly into the dark center of her eyes. They seemed to jump back and forth between two points on my body. What exactly they were I did not know. Nor did she seem aware, she just continued to regard me with her hungry stare.

“Oh, well we wrung out of someone. I used my…usual charms. He didn’t seem to have a good time, nor the others.”

Each cold word fell on me like a heavy stone. She cadence of her speech, the cruel glimmer in her eye. Both twisted my insides such that breathing became laborious. Amora spoke as though recalling a fond memory. I just wanted to puke.

“Alright…”

“Is it?”

“Lets…not dwell on that” I quickly retorted. It was strange, seeing her so relaxed. Normally I’d expect such sadistic glee from Vera. So far Amora was more prone to fits of anger but I suppose the added knowledge of her impending liberation was lightening the mood. The certainty with which she carried herself made me feel so insect-like. Or, at least more than usual. Now I felt the weight of everyone’s helplessness bearing down on my shoulders.

“Hmmm, well did you have anything else?”

“yes,” I said defensively. The acerbity of my retort did not sit well with Amora. She gave me a soft scowl and leaned forward. Her right hand smacked into the ground in front of me. The force made the walls shutter and I dropped to my knees as though to pray. Was this some strange last attempt at appeasement? No, I was far past that at this point.

“Get on with it then”

“ok, so. How did you survive the assault at Golan heights? The one right before Vera left.”

Amora leaned in closer. Her face’s approach eventually slowed to a stop a good fifty over me. I instinctively fell onto my back. The hot vapor of her breath made me feel crowded and reckless. Somehow, my wince was so strong it was audible.

“How do you know about that?”

“Vera told me about it. She said that there was-“

“The bitch didn’t show up when we needed her. Where was she? She was gone by the time it was all over”

“Yes, well when she saw them coming I assume-“

“SAW THEM COMING?” Amora suddenly roared. Somehow I managed to clap my hands over my ears in time. The force still left my  head ringing, but most of it surged through the rest of my body. Even long after she fell silent I could feel her outburst reverberating through me.

“SHE KNEW?”

“No, I mean that’s now what I-“

“She set up didn’t she? She was going to have us die? Not warning us on purpose. Typical.”

“Amora, look I don’t know what happened I think she just didn’t get to you on time!”

           I don’t know why I was defending Vera. I felt like I owed her for something. In many ways I felt bad for her. Everyone in the world wanted her dead except me. No one should have to live with that, no matter who they are, it just doesn’t seem right.

           “We almost died…” Amora seethed slowly. “When I get my hands on that bitch I’ll tear her god damn spine out!”

           “Amora please let's just stay on track here!”

           When her eyes flashed back onto me I nearly wet myself. The grotesque focusing of her irises made her seem so much more animal like. The focus of her rage was numbing. Like a horrible, unfaltering anesthetic. I was becoming dull to the painful fear these beings caused.

           “You.”

           “Now Amora wait I…”

           “You are real fucking lucky, if it wasn’t for your little friends I’d smear your remains across these walls. Just to spite HER!”

           I somehow rocked back onto my feet. Impossibly, I stood back up, parting her hot angry breathes with my forearm. She did not move. When I took the time to observe the rest of her I saw that every other muscles seemed restrained. It was like some invisible bonds were keeping her from pouncing on me. I was silently thankful that her sense of self preservation was greater than her lust for revenge. I would not last two seconds. Or I’d last a lot longer…and I’m not sure which is scarier.

           “Amora, I am sorry for what has happened to you. Believe it or not, I do not consider myself your enemy, and despite what you may think I am not Vera’s friend. This is just my job. You can hate me all you want, make your threats, maybe you’ll  even will kill me one day, but until that happens, its you and me. I want answers. You give in just a little bit and I leave you to whatever the hell it is you’re doing. Ok?”

           My backlash was filled with bullshit. So much that it made my extremities tremble a bit. However, that could easily have been my condition. It did the trick though. Amora’s anger was quelled slightly. The bloodthirsty rage devolved to a quiet hatred. She began to withdraw and nodded passively.

           “Alright, this is my last question. Maybe the last question I ever ask you.”

           Again she nodded.

           “Do you love him. Do you love Gurn?”

           Her face immediately twisted into a tortured grimace. Clear, reflective puddles of tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. Her face became a flushed light red as emotion overtook her. Then, unexpectedly her hand lashed out.

           I could see it descending upon me long before she was even close. I tried to twist around. I tried to flee but as soon as I turned around I felt something clamp down on my sides. I managed to slip free, but my shirt was caught. Even with my haste I could not slip away. Suddenly I was tugged upward, held aloft by my own clothing. The air warped around me as I was lifted. When things became clear again I saw myself dangling a hundred feet in the air. In front me was Amora’s grief stricken face. Her breaths were short, choppy, and shallow. The only thing keeping me from plummeting to my death was my shirt. I could feel my weight wearing away the fabric. It would only be a matter of time till it ripped completely. I grabbed desperately at the seams.

           “Yes.”

That was it. It was softly spoken but it carried great weight. No sooner had she answered that she deposited me by the door. I was thrown into the wall and it hurt, a lot. I picked myself and looked back up at Amora. She had already began to wipe away some of her tears. She did not look back at me. I figured that was enough. It would have to be enough. Somehow I couldn’t help but feel that that one question had invoked enough pain to match the amount of stress she put on me. As I left I found myself feeling incredibly callous about it all. Even as the vault door swung back open for me I caught myself whispering something to no one in particular. It was something I never expected to say. Something I never expected myself to feel.

           “Fair is fair.”

           Hours later I found myself still troubled by those words. Four little words that somehow summarized my relationship with Amora. Yes. Fair. Is. Fair. That was it. The few short hours I had spent in that chamber and the many more spent studying her broken down in a tetrad of simple syllables. Even then, when I stared out my window at the puddle covered road I could not find solace.

           I had been traveling for almost forty five minutes now and nothing seemed to interrupt my thoughts. There were no ample distractions. Just those four words. Well, those and the last few exchanges with Speck and Cinna. Both urged me to go. I didn’t want it but I felt it would be for the best. If anything I was tired of arguing with those two. One minute they praised me for my work the next they treated me like a child. It was awful. I was…in essence powerless in both avenues of my life. Not even the apocalypse can free me from that kind of restraint.

           “Sorry, the roads a little bumpy” my driver called back to me. He was large man, fairly burly with a busy black beard and a pair of yellow-tinted shades.  The entirety of his left arm was covered in tatoos and he always kept a loaded shotgun nearby. Despite all that though, he was a rather friendly fellow, though I began to wonder whether or not that was just the Psyn Corps drugs in his system. Either way he was a welcome change of pace from the hate i’d been getting from Amora and the Blue Shirts. To his right was a small woman with light auburn hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She was rather quiet, but, much like her partner, she never let her weapon out of sight.

“Its fine, how much longer?” I blandly responded.

Either they didn’t hear me or they didn’t want to answer. Whatever the case may have been I did not feel inclined to repeat myself. Instead I sighed and slumped back against the back door. My mind returned to other grim things. I stared up at the passing clouds and thought about all the troubles to come. I was especially concerned about the assault. What if Cinna’s plan didn’t work? What if Echo was overrun? Even with the reinforcements from Juliet they would not stand a chance against two giants. God help us if they should free Amora. It was scary. I feared for those fleeing. I feared for those staying behind. I was nervous for Speck, for Zinc. Hell I was scared for Nixie and Cinna. There wasn’t much to do though.

I leaned toward the center and peered at the others. They sat in comfortable silence. I was about to say something else when their short-wave communications radio crackled to life. The voice was hurried and jumbled. The woman, whose name I had come to learn was Anis, quickly grabbed it and replied.

“Come again, Blue Three”

Our driver shot her a curious look. I went to say something when all of a sudden the vehicle ahead of us screeched to a stop. Our bearded pilot slammed on the brakes, stopping just in time. Distant, muffled shouts echoed through the car’s interior.

“What the hell?”

That’s when it happened. The sudden morbid descent into the chaotic hell of war. The driver’s side window disintegrated in the wake of a bullet. Crimson suddenly erupted everywhere. It slathered itself across my face. I was mute, even as my driver’s shattered skull smacked into the wheel. The horn blared. Anis screamed. I didn’t know what to do. By the time I turned my head I saw she was already out of the vehicle and had posted up behind cover.

“Stay down!” she bellowed over to me. Like a faulty machine I shakily unhooked my seatbelt and gravity carried me down into the space between the front and back seats. Then I waited. The sharp twang of gunfire was all too familiar. Cries of pain, of rage, of panicked purpose.

It wasn’t until the explosion that I really started to tremble. A deafening sound rocked the vehicle from behind. Against my best wishes, my eyes shut and I waited for death. Then, the right side door opened up. Anis grabbed my wrists and tried to pull me out of the car.

“Come on, get out get out”

I obliged, sliding slowly along the coarse rug until I tumbled awkwardly out onto the gravel. When I pulled myself up I saw the car directly behind us had gone up in flames. Bodies, everywhere. It was too soon. I was not ready to see this kind of death again.

“Hey, hey look at me!” Anis screamed. I turned up to her. Something in her eyes reminded me of my sister. I could feel tears tugging at my lashes. “You need to get out of here, run, ok? Get as far as you can into the woods just go!”

I don’t know why I nodded. I don’t know why I agreed. I should have stayed. I should have helped. I faced deadly adversaries on a daily basis. I guess now it was clear they wanted to kill me. So that’s what I did, I ran. I went as far as I could. Off the main road, down a bank into the brush. The cries and shuffled footfalls of other fleeing civilians bounced off the trucks of the trees on all sides. The mixing pop of rifles did not grow distant. I thought for a moment they were being fired right next to me. Someone in the corner of my eye fell. Another dark figure. Another motherless child went screaming through the bushes. I turned around. Was I running in the right direction? It sounded like I was running back into the fight.

I hardly paid attention to the muzzle flares in the brambles. I tripped, or maybe I purposely fell, I can’t remember. Whatever it was though I remained their, hands on my head. Waiting for the barrages to disappear. It wasn’t until the tread of a muddy boot slammed down onto the back of my neck that I knew I would not be so lucky.

“We got another one!”

The same foot slipped itself beneath me. I was rolled over onto my back. Through the smoky haze, the drifting leaves crashing down overhead I saw them. Three figures, with bandanas over their mouths waited for me. The rifle they held in my face steamed. No doubt from vomiting death at the innocents looking only to escape their assured torment.