My father liked clocks. I mean real, honest to god clocks. Pocket Watches, grandfathers, old hickory pieces you had to wind up with a key, you name it. He used to keep a silver chain in his pocket that belonged to my great grandfather. Apparently when he was fifteen, my father lost the watch that went along with it somewhere in the woods. I remember my father would always tear up when he told that story. He never really forgave himself for that. So he kept the chain with him wherever he went because, as he liked to put it, he was going to find it one day. Maybe it would be sitting on the desk in his officer or waiting for him on a bench in the subway. I don’t know why he was so convinced by his own little story, but I liked it. Even with all his jokes and silliness he was very serious about that one in particular.

I liked to think about clocks every now and again...they reminded me of him. Especially now with my face pressed against the wash of Vera’s breath. Each wave of air came in a ticking rhythm. It was like she was measuring out her life by the invisible movements of a single clock hand. I reached into my pocket and felt around for something that would help me regain my composure. The chain wasn’t there, must’ve left it in my bags. The pills, however, they were waiting for me. Surprisingly, my shaky little hand managed to unscrew the cap. A splash of half inch capsules spilled from the bottle into the deeper corners of my pocket. The tremors shook them wildly as they fell. A few tumbled out of my pockets and scattered on the floor below me. Dammit, I just needed one.

In my desperation I grabbed far too many. What happened next was somewhat of a blur. I remember stuffing three of the tiny white pellets in my mouth. Then, Vera stirred again. She started to say something but, if I remember correctly, it was just mumbled gibberish. With everything that had been going on I felt the need to take the edge off a bit. My condition was getting worse and Vera’s recent poisoning wasn’t helping.

“Uuuughhh, Ellissss?” Vera suddenly droned, giving me quite a scare.

“Y-y-yes?”

“I’mmm so tiired.”

“I know, Vera, I know…”

She looked at me with a less humor in her eyes than before. Something very concerning sat on her mind. Did she realize what she had just revealed to me? Was she finally coming to her senses?

“If I sleep. Will I-I-I death?”

“Will you death?”

Vera shut her eyes and nodded calmly.

“No, I don’t think so Vera.”

She let out muffled ‘good’ and started to doze off. This is where things got kind of blurry. My limbs shook with an intensity I had not felt prior. My head was flooded with blood, not unlike the feeling you get when held upside down. Although my mind was telling me to get the hell out of there I knew my body would not abide it. I thought that maybe if I just sat down for a while then perhaps I’d be good to go in just a few minutes. Well, as you might have guessed, that didn’t happen. Instead, the noxious grip of immobility locked my legs. I felt it in the core of my body before anything else. Like something was snagging at my organs. Immediately, I buckled over. My shoulder smacked against the white floor. The shooting pain in my joints was the least of my worries however. My brain seemed to unhinge. Dark revelations and memories flooded back in. Waltzing patterns of grim carnage, tints of blue and yellow, along with the long drone of some ambiguous engine was all that I perceived from that point on. That is, until unconsciousness conquered me.

Like I said, I don’t remember what happened after that. As a general rule it's never a good idea to overdose on anything. Of course, I was pretty surprised how quickly those pills worked. I’d later learn that I did not pass out completely, but...well I’ll get to that soon. When I did regain my sensible awareness I found myself lying awkwardly on the ground. My head hurt beyond any conceivable comparison and my extremities felt clammy. Not only that but there was something over me.

“Oh good, you’re not dead. I was afraid I’d get blamed for that.”

Despite the horrible ache in the back of my skull I rocketed up into a seated position. Over me was a thick, stretchy white cloth. The edges were jagged and frayed. It would seem somebody had torn it free from some larger length of fabric. Well, I only had the one suspect.

“Vera? What happened?”

“I don’t know, but whatever it was I was gone...I hadn’t felt like that since. Damn, probably when we found that distillery back North…”

Like clockwork, my head whirred around as I lapped up my surroundings. The edges of my vision were still blurry, and it remained that way even after I wiped some of the residual tears from my eyes. I pulled away the makeshift blanket covering the rest of my body and tried to stand. Through some coughing and heaving I managed to get to my feet. I went ahead and inspected my limbs and found that they had stopped shaking. In fact, so much blood was flowing through them that they all were an unhealthy shade of scarlet. Every finger had its own little heartbeat, as though I’d taken a fatal amount of Nitric Oxide.

“What are you doing?” Vera asked me in a low, sleepy voice.

“I don’t...I don’t know. What? I think I overdosed.”

“Overdosed? On what?”

“I-nothing.”

“No, hold up.”

“What?” I replied quickly. The slowly increasing volume of Vera’s voice left my ears ringing. Or was it something else entirely?

“Isn’t in my turn to ask a question?”

“I-I don’t know. Are we even still doing that? I mean, you were just drugged a second ago? Are you not concerned about that?”

Vera let her head fall into hand. I noticed the muscles in her abdomen tense up as she brought both of her legs closer to her torso. Now her body formed a slight crescent around me. I have to say she seemed pretty apathetic about everything that had just happened.

“Well, lets say we are…” she continued, “I want to know, why are you overdosing? You trying to get away from me by killing yourself?” The playfulness in her tone was pretty unnerving. I mean, it all was pretty overwhelming but that especially got under my skin.

“Vera, do you remember what happened?”

“Not all of it...I remember getting pretty spaced out and then I rambled on for a while I’m sure. That’s kind of what I do when I get drunk...but you know this was different.”

I was starting to worry just how much she remembered telling me. Was it worth bringing up? What if she got mad? Oh, who am I kidding, of course she’d get mad. That’s what she does in situations like this. Maybe she did and was hoping I didn’t. Dammit who really knows?

“Hold on, hold on I-”

“Ughhh just answer.”

I thought about it for a while. It wasn’t necessarily anything worth hiding but at the same time it was none of her business. We had to keep some things private right? Well, I guess I hadn’t been that considerate of such things when I was asking her. It was disgusting how quickly I came around like that. Staring back at myself in the mirror where I kept probing with the same damn inquiries, the same damn foolish curiosity. It would likely get me killed yet. Maybe not by Vera, but at someone’s hands.

“Look its just this thing I’ve got…”

“What kind of thing?” As she asked she raised her eyebrows and tilted her head back. The dissipating rays of sunlight reflected over the glassy surface of her eyes. For a second she existed only as a phantom in my mind. She was more or less composed only of solid light. A cascade of brown around a mellowed face. Two icy blue stars beaming out into the misty world that I stood in. We were irreconcilably separated at that moment. I think we both started to realize how impossible it would be for either of us to get used to one another. It was about that point I noticed the piece missing from the bottom of her shirt. A strip had been peeled off at the edge. The fabric was so thin it looked to have been an easy endeavor and I couldn’t help but feel a little reassured by the gesture.

“Its a trauma thing.” Was I all I felt like responding. “They call it Conversion disorder.”

Vera just stared back at me. My guess was that she didn’t know how to respond to my answer. I guess that’s pretty natural. Despite their seeming sociopathy I doubt they have much exposure of direct mental illness. That’s not to say that I was suffering from one! Or, well, you know...you know how I am.

“How’d that happen?” she eventually asked.
“Just...shit happens is all…”

Vera nodded slightly then let out a weary yawn. My time here was growing exhausting. So much had happened in such a short amount of time and I had so little to go off of.

“Vera did you give me this blanket...er scrap?”

Although it was clear that she had, I wanted her to admit it. Vera gave her usual eye roll and sighed an exasperated sigh. She was still being difficult.

“Don’t go getting all clingy on me. You should’ve seen yourself, you were shaking like crazy. I thought you were dying of that hippo- whatever you called it. I couldn’t risk picking you up so...yeah whatever.”

I couldn’t help keeping myself from smiling. It was nice to know someone was looking out for me. All my preconceptions about Vera were rearranged. Sure, she still had her sadistic streak but she could at least be reasoned with. I’m not the most likable person out there but the fact that she was able to at least develop some concern for me meant that she would probably really go for other, more charismatic humans at the very least.

“Vera, what would you say about meeting others?”

She frowned. “Other what?”

“People”

“Uhhh haha, yeah I don’t think so…” she said very matter-of-factly. I thought to press her further but at that point I didn’t have the energy.

“Why not?”

Vera turned away from me and let her head slide down the length of her arm until it rested against her bicep. I started to take a few hesitant steps toward her head.

“Ellis I know you must think that after all of this that I’m not as bad as everyone thinks I am, but I really am. And I know you’re probably thinking that I probably would like you little humans more after talking to you but I don’t ok? I just don’t. Nothing has changed.”

“Fair enough-”

“And look, about what I said earlier…”

“huh?”

“At the river…”

“I thought you didn’t remember that…”

“I lied...look. I’d rather not relive all that ok? You’ve been more considerate than I’ve let on, but if you do anything for me just forget about that ok?”

“Alright”

Then another silence rested its head between us. This silence was massive, it was shaggy and spoke in a rhotic grumble. I said nothing out of respect for Vera’s wishes. Vera remained quiet, I suspect, out of fear of what I might say next.

“I should get going” I eventually squeaked out. Vera made no gesture to confirm if she had heard me. So I stepped closer. Vera kept her eyes off of me all the while. Eventually, I was next her arm. Just above it rested Vera’s face. I raised one hand and awkwardly placed it on her skin. Again she made no sign of acknowledgment.

When I did withdraw I felt a tremendous force slam against the ground behind me. I wheeled around and saw Vera’s left hand waiting flat against the ground with her palm turned upward. I climbed aboard as nervously as ever and took a seat in the center of her hand. Vera didn’t move for a while. Instead we just stared at each other.

Finally she lifted me up and carried me gingerly to the edge of the outer walkway. I disembarked and turned back to face her. After she withdrew her hand she sat up in a lazy posture, supported by the wall behind her.

“I think I should’ve killed you before it was too late…” she droned back over to me. Normally I would’ve at least been made nervous by such a statement, but I think I had finally grown calloused against her cutting remarks.

“Too late for what?”

She gave me her usual smirk. “It doesn’t matter, its already too late.”

I was somehow satisfied by that. I turned to go but just as I reached the door Vera spoke up once more. Her words were deeper, more measured than most other times. I angled my head back in her direction as she spoke:

“Ellis…”

“Yes?” I responded quite loudly, so as to ensure she heard me this time.

“Don’t destroy me for what I am...I can’t help it.”

I couldn’t say anything to that. I just couldn’t. I paced back down the hallway and through the open portico. No one waited for me in the atrium. Thank god. I think I’d need to be alone for a little while. But, my foresight caught ahold of me again. I knew that after all the shit that just went down I’d need some answers...and fast.

Like a mouse poking its head out of cover, I cautiously peered up the stairwell, half expecting a troop of brutish grey-clad men to be waiting for me near the top. The empty tower was...well...just that: empty. With trepid step I ascended the first set of squeaky stairs. When I reached the first landing I turned about and waited again, trying desperately to detect any possible trap that may be waiting for me. I walked the next set of stairs at a bit of a faster pace. Then I paused again...and so it went until finally I was on the main floor once more.

There was only a slight clamor down the hall. Aside from that it was relatively abandoned. I continued to wait, my eyes keenly scanning the various doors and adjoining annexes out of which someone might emerge. I don’t know why, it just felt like shit was about to get so much worse.

Sure enough, as I stepped out into the main corridor I heard a voice from behind me:

“That was very reckless of you Ellis.”

The voice dropped heavily onto me like a great stone. My feet halted and I, in the same manner as a disobedient child, slowly turned to face my addresser.

“Constable Mica?”

“Censor will be looking for you. You interrupted one of his…”

“Experiments? I didn’t authorize this! He can’t just-”

But then another voice rebounded off of me. This one was deeper and more severe. It was accompanied by the clap of boots on the linoleum.

“I’m afraid we can just do that Gulliver.”

I turned back around. The same grey-clad officer who had sent me away to Camp Echo waited with a troop of guards behind him. He had a muted look on his face. It was not evil, it was not sadistic like some predictable movie villain. No, instead he looked dutiful, like a good soldier. I guess that’s just what they all were: good soldiers.

“Sir, with all due respect, you can’t just start-”

“Let me stop you right there.” Censor droned with an upheld hand. All the rage and instinct inside of me told me to just keep arguing, but my conditioned sense of rank kept my counter at bay. “You are authorized to interview our subjects, make recommendations for their termination, and compile psychological profiles. So far, you have done two of those three things. You are not, however, authorized to pass judgment on any further tests we feel necessary to conduct.”

When he was done speaking I remained silent. I wasn’t sure if he was going to start speaking again! Eventually, he raised his left eyebrow, no doubt curious as to why I had no response. Stumbling over my words, I retorted:

“Sir, you...you can’t just start doing all this shit if it's going to affect my work. Its not right. What did you even do to her in there anyway? I could’ve have been killed!”

“There was a reason you were not allowed through when you got here Gulliver…”

It was then I noticed the same soldier who stopped me waiting at attention just behind Censor. Though his face was as stoic as the rest of them I could see a tiny flame of anger in his eyes as my gaze passed over him. I swallowed hard and tried to formulate a suitable response. No conversations were easy anymore. That’s what it had become;  humans distrusting humans. Nothing made any sense anymore. Maybe that’s what the giants wanted from us all. Their society had no structure, no trust, no empathy. Maybe they were jealous and wanted to destroy ours as well. Who knows.

“Colonel Censor, perhaps we can discuss this in a more private setting…” Mica interjected as he peered warily over his shoulder.

“It is fine Constable Mica, everyone here is quite aware of what is going on…”

“Except for me it would seem!” I unexpectedly screamed at them. Mica was a tad shocked by my sudden aggression. Censor seemed unphased.

“We’ve simply been testing our options is all.”

“Chemical weapons…” Mica added. This incensed a flash of anger in the Colonel. He regarded Mica with a twisted scowl before melting back to his previous calm.

“Its nothing…” Censor added. “Just something that we hope will make them a little more...agreeable. Shame you had to get caught in the midst of it. We were convinced it would kill you.”

I was truly dumbfounded. I had no concept of retribution to fulfill. Maybe it was just knowing that I had miraculously survived a chemical overdose. Maybe it was having more insight into the Corps workings, and even still I wonder if I might just have been a little relieved. Vera was unstable, I knew that, but she wasn’t a lost cause. Truth be told at that moment I would not have wanted to meet her anywhere where she would have the absolute upper hand. As such, the knowledge that we had a potential weapon that might be able to maintain them...well it was as reassuring as you probably think.

“You need to tell me these things…” I said in a near whisper. No one acted as though they heard me. Instead everyone just stood in a long, painful silence.

“Ellis could I speak to you for a second…” Mica asked. But, before I could even turn my head to even look at him, Censor gave a wave of his hand. Four of his attending goons stepped over to Mica and seized his arms.

“I don’t think that we’ll have time for that.” Censor coldly stated. My eyes grew wide and I rushed over to Mica side. As soon as I drew near a black glove appeared out of nowhere and socked me in the face. The next thing I knew I felt my face pressed against the cold, dusty floor. The blow had reawakened the throbbing ache in my brain. I was totally immobilized. A case of tinnitus dulled my hearing. Luckily my sight was still intact.

I could see Mica dragged away into the far hallway. I wanted nothing more than to jump to my feet and rush to his aid, but my limbs did not respond. A pair of strong hands grabbed ahold of my arms and hoisted me off the ground. The ascent must have snapped a little more sense into me as I was suddenly able to hear and feel again. I teetered from one side to the other. It would seem the strike would leave me reeling for a while longer.

“So, sorry about that Gulliver, but we do not like to have our business interrupted. Surely you understand this do you not?”

I nodded. Nothing could’ve have convinced me to look that snake in the eye. I was so wracked with doubt, with fear, perhaps with a little grief as well. Gah, I don’t even know. I just remember feeling terrible. What was going to happen now? Everything was changing.

“Where is Treble?” was all I could ask.

“He’s here, have no doubts of that...although I do not know how long he’ll remain.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s being reassigned. He is needed in the South...in Old Bravo.”

It was insane! Old Bravo was a place where humans went to die. I don’t know what they thought they’d accomplish there. Or maybe they did...it was a terrifying thought.

My knuckles tightened. Each finger locked against one another in resolute fists. Out of the corner of my eye I could barely see Censor’s flat face. I was ready to break his nose, and I would have done it too. But things happen. Things always happen...rather unexpectedly at that. It was those sorts of moments that made me think about idea of parallel worlds. In one world I would have agreed with this man. In another, i’d have already attacked him. In a third I would be dead and in a fourth he’d be dead too. Even then, there would be one out there where none of this existed. Where I wasn’t in Camp Juliet, where I wasn’t a psychologist, and where the panic stricken soldier didn’t run up to us saying: