In 1961, President Eisenhower gave his final public speech as Commander-in-Chief of the United States. During it, he warned about the dangers of the military-industrial complex and the problems of the corporate-technological elite. Now, I was and always will be a man of science; someone who is dedicated to progress. However, over the last few years things have changed. I would never have paid attention to any private military organization prior to the invasion, but now...now they were everywhere. It was hard not to address them. Psyn Corps, the Blue Shirts, Althea Company, the Tattered Legion, Los Diablos de Arena, the list just goes on and on now. I guess all it took was the end of the world to make me see them for what they were.

All of this...it was incredible. The facilities, the apparent order, it was all too much. I would never have dreamed such things were possible in my time, but even with fewer resources and even less time they somehow were able to accomplish all of...well that! It was mind boggling. Truly extraordinary. It was the only thing that could take me away from the slight shifting of the surface beneath me.

“Ellis...please speak...you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Typically she would have been angry with me for not listening, but it seemed that her mind was also preoccupied with troubling thoughts.

“Amora should be dead. Or...at least I thought she was.”

“Ok, ok, hold on. I thought you said you just left them one night!”

She rolled her eyes and huffed.

“I lied, come on I thought you smarter than this!”

“Ok! Look, why don’t you tell me what actually happened then?”

Vera grew even more restless. It was like some creeping cold managed to infiltrate the humid chamber and snake up along her spine. I watched as her titanic torso shuddered. As if contagious, the same shiver stretched out through my own, already jittery, limbs. Vera noticed and gave me a frustrated frown. I was about to repeat my request when she cupped her hand, causing me to roll backwards. She brought me closer to her face and started to whisper.

“Ellis, you know I am fond of you…”

“Y-y-yes”

“Well, it is for this reason that I hesitate to tell you the truth…”

“O-ok”

“Likewise,” she continued, her voice rolling with protracted affliction. “I think it would be in my best interest, given what you have told me, to keep this out of public knowledge.”

As she went on I could almost feel her accent growing thicker. It was as though the anxiety was peeling her adjusted speech away like the rind of a fruit.

I didn’t like the sound of all this. I simply needed to know! There had to be some way to coax the information out of her.

“Vera, hiding it won’t help you, if you’re up front of with us now we might be willing to overlook it…”

A restrained scowl was her immediate response. This terrified the shit out of me, what with me being so close to her mouth and all. Her anger was unmistakable, but it looked as though she was trying her best not to show it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hmph...you sound more and more like the others everyday. I thought you would be able to keep their hooks out of your little brain.”

“Vera, I- Please you know they don’t like secrets.”

“I don’t care what they do and do not like…”

“Vera…” I cried shakily up at her. “Please, just...tell me. I can help!”

She curled her fingers a little more, casting me in further darkness. All the while my heart beat faster and faster. I noticed a slight tremble in her lip as she tried to form words. Again I noticed the great effort she put into holding back a scowl. Perhaps her fondness of me did not extend quite as far as I hoped.

“You’ve done quite enough already…”

I must’ve reacted pretty poorly to that statement because immediately her expression softened. There was hope for me yet.

“But, I suppose I might as well tell you. Knowing you, you won’t shut up about it until I do…”

Frustrated as she might be, I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed at her relention. You see, I could tell that had I not gone to Echo she would’ve remained stubborn. She realized that she really did need me and that if I was going to stick around, then I’d need as much information from her as possible. Unfortunately, she wasn’t stupid, which meant that she likely knew that I had hoped for this all along. It would no doubt be a strain on our relationship in the near future.

Vera bowed her head even lower, allowing another layer of her hair to fall down over her face. I was starting to feel numb again. I lost track of my own shaking. Normally, the spasms were constant, traceable, and sometimes even controllable, but now they seemed to hold complete sway over me. Did I forget to take my meds?

“So, as you probably already know, Amora and I never really got along. She was sarcastic, malicious, and above all else, jealous.”

“Jealous?”

A furious tick forced Vera to shut her eyes. I could tell she was ready to scream at me again so I quickly curled back into a defensive posture. Luckily she managed reign herself back in.

“Yes…” then silence. I didn’t want to look her in the eye. “Ellis…” Still I didn’t move. “Ellis! Look at me!” Finally I relented. I peered skittishly into the void of her pupils. “If you want me to tell this you have to keep quiet...understood?” I gave an overblown nod to show my consent. Damn, I swear I nearly gave myself whiplash doing that.

“Sorry” I squeaked.

“Anyway,” she began once more. “We had fought quite a bit up to that point. I didn’t get along with any of them be honest. They were just...the only ones I kind of knew and this whole new world was strange and I-” Vera stopped. She tilted her head forward whilst struggling to organize her thoughts.

“So, one day, Amora tells me she saw a huge train of you little people in your little vehicles to the East and she wanted to try and round them all up. Gurn and the other male were all down for it and they insisted that I help them, since…” she trailed off again. I noticed her eyes wander up to the corners were the security cameras were hidden before finally turning back to me. “Since I never really helped them with that sort of thing before...They said if I wanted a cut of the spoils I had to contribute. It was simple really, Amora and the other...I think his name was like...Merd or Marron or something like that...well they were going to herd them over to this bridge and Gurn and I would be waiting for them. Cut them off. You know that sort of thing.”

Another prolonged silence followed. This time, however, Vera stared down at me. Every second I could feel her attention drilling into my skin like some Medieval torture device. The iron clamps pinned my limbs to my body and straps of leather wound around my neck, making it difficult to breath.

“S-s-so then what happened?” Normally I wouldn’t have dared speak again but the break in her story had been going on for too long now. I honestly would take her wrath over her silent scrutiny any day.

“Then...well. I need to back up a bit first.” Vera reached up with her other hand and brushed a few smooth locks from her face. Strangely enough, she seemed to be growing more calm, as though finally telling her story was relieving some tremendous internal pain.

“So, even before I came here, Gurn he...had a thing for me. Now before you go getting any ideas about what that means you have to understand that we don’t have partnerships like you do here. Its different.... very different. I never wanted him. Before it was harmless but since I’d been running with him and his bitch Amora, it got worse. He was invasive, and she was pestersome. Deep down though, she was always jealous. She even slapped Gurn around a bit when she caught him eyeing me.”

Another pause. The calm was slowly being replaced with mounting panic.

“While we were waiting he was being especially...forward. At one point he grabbed me so I hit and stormed off.”

I waited with bated breath. It was like listening to soap opera. It was strange and somehow compelling. Vera must of noticed my intense interest as she let out a defeated sigh. She really didn’t want to continue but knew that it was her best shot.

“As I was wandering away I noticed something odd to the South. To this day I don’t know how they didn’t see me. I hid behind some cliffs and watched as a whole army of these grey vehicles came rolling toward the river. They were your soldiers. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem but...there were so many. I’d never seen so many. It must have been a trap. That was the only explanation, given how prepared they were. Maybe they wanted me to see them. I don’t know. All I know is that I didn’t go back. I didn’t warn the others. I waited by those cliffs and watched as they dropped fire and metal on them. There were clouds of smoke larger than us! It was...the first time I was ever legitimately frightened by your kind. I couldn’t see them. Any of them! I knew Amora and what’s-his-name were there, I could tell they had led the caravan onto the bridge but then it was all torn to shreds. They tried to move away from the river but they just kept getting bombarded...They fell. I thought they were dead…”

The whole story seemed to weigh on Vera’s conscious rather heavily, but not for the reasons I initially suspected. She didn’t seem to feel guilty, nor was she afraid. Of all emotions on the spectrum I would’ve have pegged her as simply being in a state of disbelief. It was as though the whole affair seemed out of her realm of comprehension.

“So, is that the ‘river incident’ then?”

Vera’s face immediately snapped to mine. The incredulity in her body language grew exponentially. Her mouth was wide open for a few seconds before she snapped it shut with a loud ‘clack’.

“What?”

“Amora told me about some river incident...she said it had something to do with you hurting people…”

The color started to drain from her skin. Amid her suddenly pallid complexion I noticed a nervous sweat starting to bead up. Apparently I had hit another nerve. Warily, I kept my eyes on the tips of her fingers hanging overhead. I felt like at any moment she was going to snap them shut around me. Whatever this was, she seemed even more reluctant to talk about it.

“That was a...different occasion. I think...”

“Well what happened?”

At first I expected her to shrink back into her cocoon of reservation. Then, I got the impression that she would attempt to change the subject. But, I soon learned this was not the case. The ambience was abruptly morphed into one of vulnerability. For me that is…

Vera tilted her head to the side and rolled her eyes back and forth, weighing the options in her head. She seemed like she wanted to tell me, but had some lingering hint of demur clouding her mind. Was she afraid of how I’d react, or was she more concerned about how my superiors would?

“Again, I don’t think its in my best interest to tell that story…”

“Vera…”

“Don’t ‘Vera’ me,” she spat. “I’ve been giving in to all your little inquiries since you got back. You think I enjoy this? I may not have the freedom to go or do what I like but I’m not as malleable as you may think…”

“I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been very fair!”

“No you haven’t! First you leave me here to get probed by your little cronies then you come back here and expect me to talk about all kinds of shit from my past? Throwing Amora’s name around like you have some kind of leverage. Look I don’t know what she told you but I’m sure it was mostly lies. She does that. As for me, yeah, I’ve told my fair share of lies but lets face it you never really believed anything I’ve said anyway.”

“No I-”

“Just admit it”

“Vera, its not that I-”

“Just stop it. I’m sick of you trying to worm your way into my brain. You thought I was just another stupid, oversized bitch the minute you walked in here.”

I stopped. Vera closed her mouth tightly, all the while grinding her teeth behind her lips. What was I going to do? I just stared up at her face with keen interest. Each feature was traceable. Each portion of her face was unique but they all blended together seamlessly.

Many years ago my father said to me:

“The older and more experienced you become the more you start to see people differently. Physically I mean. You notice pieces of people you’ve met in new faces. Its what makes life so complicated really…”

Those words were lost on me at the time but now I began to realize precisely what he meant. I saw pieces of girls I used to know. It was something I couldn’t just shake off. Vera had the same nose as my sister. She had the same hair as this one girl that used to sit in front of me in my Social Psychology class. Her eyes though...those were something I’d not encountered before. I’d never seen such piercing, otherworldly eyes. I’d never felt someone's gaze scythe through me so easily, as if I were made of mist.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I-”

Vera eyes narrowed again, forcing me to look away. But where was I to look? I couldn’t stand to look at her any longer but...she was everywhere. With her fingers to my back and the entirety of her face above, below, and in front of me I had no other options.

“I think I should go…”

“No, no you don’t get to just run away this time. You might be spineless but you’re staying in here with me.”

“Well...I’m sorry, I...I don’t know what to do”

Vera rolled her eyes and finally leaned back. I watched as her entire torso stretched back until her shoulder blades made contact with the wall behind her. With a mighty slump, she slowly began to slide down toward the floor. I don’t know how, but she managed to keep her hand level. My stress was faltering and I, curious as I always was, began to trace the contours of her body one more time.

There was a frustrated groan before Vera spoke again. “Why do you always have to ‘know what to do’, why can’t you just be? Why can’t you just relax for a second?”

I waited a few seconds before voicing my response:

“I guess I don’t really have it in me anymore.”

“Anymore?”

“Things have been pretty bad since this all began. For everyone…”

Vera smirked. This time, however, it wasn’t an amused smirk. No, this time it was feigning, almost contrived.

“Are you going to try and make me feel bad for all the troubles you little things have endured?”

“No-” I responded immediately. “Just explaining why I am this way…”

When I met Vera’s eyes again I noticed a distinct change in their intensity. She was still annoyed, that much was clear, but I had a feeling her reasons were different this time. Still no sign of remorse, but there was something else there. Something I can’t quite put my finger on even now. If I were to take a guess I’d say something along the lines of disappointment. I don’t know

“Well, lets not talk about it anymore. I’m tired of talking about sad things.”

With that she shuffled her position a bit more to correct the uncomfortable bend in her neck. She pushed off the far wall with her feet until her entire body shifted up against the wall. All the while I waited and watched. Its really impossible to convey just how incredible it is to watch them move. I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen giants before, but most of time it's a terrifying experience (probably because they’re trying to kill you). But just watching them, and I mean truly watching them, is one of the most awe-inspiring things I’ve experienced. To see such massive limbs and muscles push and pull so smoothly. People got it in their heads that the giants are terribly clumsy but that is not the case at all. Despite their size, their movements are as precise as they are powerful. What was even more impressive was how easily she was able to control her opened hand as she moved about. Aside from a little tilting and jostling here and there, I remained relatively in place.

“There isn’t much that isn’t sad these days, what would you want to talk about?”

Vera didn’t seem to hear me however. Instead, she was focused on getting comfortable. She straightened out her clothes and shifted her weight from side to side until finally she was satisfied. Then, she turned back to face me:

“What was that?”

She started to bring me closer. My throat swelled up and my heart fell down into my stomach. It wasn’t anything particularly out of the ordinary, she just wanted to to deposit me on her shoulder again so that we could converse more casually. Nevertheless, there was something about her already gargantuan body seemingly becoming larger as I approached that really unnerved me. When she brought her hand up I found a forest of hair waiting in my spot. Vera wasn’t looking, so I assumed she had simply forgotten to clear a space. While I waited patiently for her to realize her mistake, I felt the ground beneath me tip forward slightly. Apparently she didn’t want to bother waiting for me to climb off and thought it necessary to “assist” me.

I stumbled forward blindly as the surface of her palm inclined more and more each second. Finally, I collapsed down through a wall of her hair. Instantly I was enveloped by darkness. I could not see or hear anything, all I could sense was the smoothness of the engulfing strands and Vera’s all too familiar scent. Seconds passed before I detected movement again. I could feel my entangled limbs being tugged every which way until finally light caught my eyes again. I squirmed free of the last of my tethers and allowed myself to fall backwards onto my side just in time to see Vera’s fingers sweeping back the locks of hair from overtop.

“Sorry”

“Its fine.”

“What did you say now?” Vera repeated as she swept her hair back behind her ear. In turn, I propped myself up against the nape of her neck and closed my eyes. If we were going to relax find the most comfortable spot available. But, before I was settled in, I felt Vera lift her shoulder slightly; no doubt to get my attention. Although it was a minor movement for her, the twitch made my head spin and my stomach heave.

“Sorry, I-ugh-I said there isn’t much that isn’t sad these days.”

I expected her to agree with me. Given how miserable she’d been those past few weeks it seemed only sensible. Then again, I should’ve known not to assume anything with her. I rewrote her psychological profile daily. Maybe it was my personal involvement in the case that corrupted me. To be honest I was not that qualified for my job, I was just the only one stupid enough to try and do it.

“I don’t believe that.”

“Really?”

“Well, being in here is pretty awful but if I was out there...I’d be content”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Or...at least I hope I would. Maybe just the thought of being free again has me thinking that.”

It was funny really. Somehow, even when I wasn’t watching her face I felt like I could tell what expressions she was making. Vera was particularly emotive, the problem was really guessing what emotions she displayed and when. In my head I could see each flutter of her lashes and each twitch of her mouth. Secretly I knew I was getting each assumption dead wrong but it was fun to try nonetheless.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe it doesn’t get much better. Thinking back I can’t say I was much happier when I was by myself. I mean, I felt a lot better than I do now...but I wasn’t happy.”

“What would make you happy?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever really known. That’s my problem.”

The muscles in her neck surged beneath me and I had the sudden sense that Vera’s eyes lay on me again.

“What about you?”

“Hmm, I don’t know either. I guess going back to the way things were would be a nice start.”

“You know that will never happen.”

“I know...but its all I can think about.”

Together we sighed. It was nice sharing a moment of utter misery with someone else, even if that person was a cold-hearted giant.

“So now what?” I asked. “We just sit here and wallow in our suffering?”

“No, I told you I don’t want to think about it.”

“What should we do then?”

Nothing. Vera just stared ahead at the far, translucent wall. I could tell she was thinking about the outside world again. She only listened to me when it suited her. Normally I’d be offended but hell I was just happy she wasn’t pissed at me anymore. Well, at least for the moment.

“Vera,”

“Yes?” she finally responded.

“What would happen if things were reversed and it was us ‘humans’ that were stumbling into your world...wherever that is…how would-”

I was cut off by another of Vera’s short chuckles. The slight vibrations in her chest shook me enough that I had to hold onto her skin for dear life.

“I think you know about how well that’d work.”

“Yes I suppose I do. But what about you? What would you do?”

“Ugh”

“What?”

“This another of your annoying little personality questions…”

“I guess...but I’m also curious.”

“I don’t know. It depends…”

“Depends on what?”

A tremendous thud echoed out overhead. Vera banged her head into the wall behind her and followed up with another frustrated groan.

“I guess it depends how many.”

“People?”

“Yes, people!”

Once again I felt Vera’s head move.I cautiously peered up and saw her staring at the far wall with a mixture of emotions. There was anger, yes, but there was also some fear. There was sorrow too but most of all there was regret. Did this mean Vera was finally coming around?

“Ellis, its so cold here.”

I didn’t know what she meant. For one it was late in the summer. Most of the time I couldn’t walk outside with breaking into a quick sweat. Secondly this chamber was so humid that I could feel my own skin starting to stick to hers.

“I know Vera”

But I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to react. But it helped me realize something. It helped me come to terms with the fact that Vera didn’t think quite as I did. I struggled to understand her demeanor because she was so incredibly alien in so many ways. I spent years learning about human behaviour, studying all the different functions of the brain and beyond. Maybe it was my lack of experience. Maybe it was my nerves. But, after all that had happened I knew that it was far more likely that I didn’t understand her because she simply wasn’t human. No matter how I might try, I’d never really understand her.