Elise (moments prior)

I had been planning this surprise visit for weeks.  Alex would be so thrilled!  He told me his roommate was leaving town for the weekend, so it’d be just the two of us.  All weekend.  I got giddy just thinking about all that quality time…and what we could do with it. 

Before returning to school, Alex had put me at ease about my increasing height.  It was obvious by now he thought it was a complete turn-on.  I couldn’t wait to show him how much I’d grown for him since then. Finally I reached his door. 

I knocked. 

The voice that answered was clearly female.  

“Go away?”  Who the hell was in Alex’s room dismissing his visitors? 

“Alex?  It’s me.  Can I come in?”

I heard muted voices through the door along with other sounds of activity.  What was going on in there?  Oh, God, maybe he couldn’t answer.  There were a lot of infected women in his classes.  What if one of them…

Calm down, Elise.  If someone were raping him, they wouldn’t have taken him back to his own room.  And surely if he were in trouble, he would have called out to me when he heard my voice.  

It’s probably just a study partner.  Right?  As I waited, my mind spun with myriad possibilities – most of them unsettling. 

Why wasn’t he answering?

“Alex, are you OK in there?” I entreated.

A moment later the door was unlocked and opened.  The icy blue eyes of my soulmate greeted me.

He had his workout clothes on.  Sweat collected in his hair at his temples.  He looked so hot when he got back from the gym. 

Joy bloomed in me at seeing him for the first time in over a month, and I reached down to take him into a hug, the other voice I had heard a distant memory. 

His expression was calm, but flushed.  When he greeted me stiffly, I became confused.  Scanning the room, my eyes lit upon the huge form sitting uncomfortably on his couch and my smile withered.  From the cloying aroma that assailed me, it was pretty clear they had recently been intimate. 

That bitch had taken advantage of him!

Alex forgotten for the moment, I ducked under the door frame and stormed over to the form on the couch.  My fury continued to mount as I reached down and hauled her large womanly body to her feet and shoved her.  Much to my satisfaction, she stumbled into his lofted bed.

I was almost a bystander to my roiling emotions.

“What the FUCK did you do to my boyfriend?!” 

I’d never been so angry in all my life.

The fact that I was able to look down at her slightly made me feel superior.  She might have had a few dozen pounds on me given her curves, but I had been one of my high school’s top athletes. 

This woman - this very attractive woman, I had to admit - just looked right back at me calmly.  Not even a trace of fear evident.  How dare she not cower before my rage?  She looked down at my hands on her shirt with disdain.

Looking back into my eyes again without an ounce of fear, she calmly said only two words.

“Get. Off.”

It was supremely difficult to curb my anger, especially given the negativity coming from this woman, but Alex didn’t appear hurt in any way.  His clothes were intact, and I didn’t see trauma in his expression.  Just embarrassment. 

He reached out for me and put a hand on my arm.  His presence was a balm, and I released the woman.

Tentatively, he spoke up, “Elise, this is Ash.  I believe I’ve mentioned her before.”

The coals of my anger were banked, but not dead.  “She raped you, didn’t she?  I can tell you two were together.”

He tried to draw my gaze away from the whore.  It worked.  I looked down into his eyes and he soothed me. 

“El, I’m fine, really.  Ash and I were discussing the details of the virus.  We….did get a little carried away.  I swear though, it meant nothing.  You know how it is with the…cravings…”

My rational brain warred with my impulse to smash this slut’s head into the bedpost.  The latter was currently winning.  What shocked me the most was that I hadn’t even considered Alex as a guilty partner in this.  But how could he be?  Being intimidated as he must have been, there’s no way he could have been of sound mind to offer consent.  I knew the law - all sexual relations required express consent from both males and females now.  The danger of intimidation rape by infected women was high, and only getting worse.  He might not think it was rape, but what choice did he really have?  How easy would it have been to refuse an eight and a half foot woman?

Trying to collect myself, I took a step back from both and glared at the woman. “OK then, I can be reasonable about this.  Just answer me this question - did you take any of his clothes off without his permission?”

The woman squared on me, refusing to get ruffled, “Alex and I are consenting adults.  He was a willing partner.”

“And you’re sure you actually had consent?  Did you ask?!  You still haven’t answered my first question.” 

Apparently I had hit on something there that made her nervous, as she quickly started moving to collect her things.  She probably realized I was right, and that she could be in a lot of trouble with the law if Alex were to report this. 

Finally her voice took on a contrite tone as Ash said, “It doesn’t have to be this way.  I can tell you care for Alex, but you’ve got to control your impulses.  This is powerful stuff, and I know from personal experience that it can ruin your relationships if you don’t control it.  Clearly you want to protect Alex, but he has not been harmed.  Ask him yourself.  I’ve been infected longer than most, and I can help you suppress these emotions.”

“You think I’d take advice from you?! You’ve got to be kidding me!  You met Alex for 15 minutes on the subway, then spent a month tracking him down, stalking him all the way to his dorm room.  You’ve got to be 15 years older than him!  Don’t you have any shame?

“Just get the fuck out of here.  Alex doesn’t want to see you anymore!”

“Are you sure about that?  Do you even care what he wants?” she inquired.

She was right.  I hadn’t even thought about it.  What was going on with me?  Why was I acting this way?  If he wanted this…  Had I stepped in where I shouldn’t have?  We were so happy together.  Why would he want someone else?

Alex must have sensed my inner turmoil, as he finally spoke up, “El, this is not all Ash’s fault.  She may have been forward, but I wasn’t exactly trying to stop her either.  I’m so sorry about all of this.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  It was just sex; that’s all.  Please, we talked about this.”

We had, but he just didn’t know what he was saying.  Even if he had resisted, there was no chance he could have prevented this.  I just needed to do a better job protecting him.  After all, he was just a m-…

…wait, what the hell?  I didn’t really think that way.  Like…what?  He had no agency of his own? He needed a woman to guide him?  As I searched my thoughts, it sounded wrong, but some part of me resonated with the idea. 

This couldn’t be right!  I always valued Alex as an equal.  Ugh, I needed to clear my head. 

Alex saw the look on my face. Turning to Ash, he said, “You’d better go.”

She apparently saw the wisdom in this and departed without another word, closing the door behind her.  I did catch her giving Alex a look as she left though, and I just couldn’t let it go.

“Alex, I just want to have a word with Ash.  Woman to woman.  Stay here please.” My tone made it clear that it wasn’t a request.

As I left his room, jogging after Ash, red mist clouded my vision.  I wanted this predator out of our lives for good. 

Rounding the corner of the dining hall, I finally caught her. 

“Hey!” I yelled out as I grabbed her shoulder to spin her around.  She must have been suppressing her personal defense instincts earlier, because she reacted immediately, spinning into me and bringing a fist into my gut.  Hard.  Doubled over, I gasped for breath. 

Her superiority was written on her face.  She sighed. 

“Elise.  I’m going to ignore the fact that you just tried to assault me.  Again.  I suppose in some ways I deserve it.  You are young and impetuous, but don’t test me further.  My tolerance has limits.” 

Her look softened slightly and she continued. “I know what you think of me.  I see it in your eyes, and I promise you, I’ve been in your shoes.”

She must have seen my disbelief.

“I know you don’t want my advice, but you’re getting it anyway.  Alex seems like a good man.  He cares about you, it’s clear.  I used to be a lot like you.  You feel that you need to protect your mate, and you are correct.  But you must control your emotions, or you’ll end up losing him.” 

She looked away.  Was she tearing up?  Couldn’t be… 

After she collected herself, she went on, “Be wary of women, but respect Alex too.  I’d be surprised if you felt angry with him for his part in this, as I know the virus strips that from most of us.  He loves you no less for his sexual proclivity.  Our rational mind recognizes the double standard, but this is a principle that does not apply to infected. 

“He is not unique, but he is a rarity.  Change is coming fast, and his kind will be affected more than most.  He will need your protection.  Take your cues to action from Alex, not your instincts.  He will tell you when he needs you.  Above all, remember his love for you.  It will help you during your moments of temptation.  And I don’t mean temptation from other men.”

“Someday you’ll understand.”

My anger and pain hadn’t cooled completely, but my mind was too busy chewing on what she had told me to come at her again.  I just stared as she walked away, again cool and composed.

Back in the room, I found Alex nervously pacing, awaiting my return.  I embraced him, squeezing him tight to my breast, as if he would float away if I loosened my hold.  Ash’s words were fresh in my mind.  He squeezed me back as tightly as he could, but I eased off a little as I picked up his slight discomfort from my crushing hug. 

Come on Elise, he’s warned you about that strength before.  Keep it together. 

Our contact was soothing to my soul, but the smell of his sweaty hair and skin set my body on fire.  My yearning ramped up so quickly it stole my breath.  Before I could even think of what I was doing, I reached down and grabbed his shorts and pulled them down, grabbing his well-toned butt with both hands.

The intensity of my lust staggered me as his scent became even more powerful.  Massaging his thighs with my large hands, I began to bend my head to take in– he pulled back.

“El, I’m just not sure I’m up to it right now.  Can we wait a bit?  I really want to greet you properly, but just give me a chance to get showered, OK?” he implored, clearly feeling guilty and uncomfortable, but not wanting to refuse me. 

For the first time, I was momentarily torn between honoring his wishes and satiating my needs. A tiny voice within me reeled me back.  This was different than before.  The quickness with which my desire had possessed me was unprecedented.  My God, I was no better than that slut he was just with.  I turned away in shame. 

After pulling his shorts back up, he put his hand on my cheek and said, “El, I can tell you’re conflicted, but please don’t feel guilty.  Ash told me that the pheromones I emit may get stronger if I have sex with others.  Maybe that’s what this is.  I would never refuse you if you need me.” 

I could feel his love – whether he recognized it or not – crashing over me in that moment, and it brought me out of my haze.  Again I clasped him to my chest.  We would work through these things together.

We held each other for a long minute. I was finding it much easier to relax now that she had left.  Maybe this weekend could be salvaged after all. 

I pulled away and struck a pose, showing off my long legs in the skin tight black leather pants I was wearing. 

“So, what do you think?” I asked demurely.

Finally treated to a good look at my legs, his eyes boggled.  Heee!  I loved every second of it as his eyes trailed down my form all the way to my suede ankle boots.

“Wow, El.  You are… well, indescribably beautiful.  I always thought you had great legs, but…just wow.”  

There was nothing better than the look in Alex’s eyes right then.  I was desired.  He desired me. 

“Look,” I said, “I really want this weekend to be fun, so let’s clear the air.”

He jumped at the chance, “Well I had gone to the gym, and she was waiting in my room when I returned.”

I cut him off, saying, “I knew it!  Alex, this is rape, pure and simple.” 

He shook his head.  “El, wait, please.  I want to tell you everything.  She did come on to me, and I suppose I might have had little choice, but I wanted it El.  Her body…it called to…something inside me.  You know, the way yours does.”

My eyebrows dove.  “The way mine does?”

“Damnit, El, you know what I mean.  Not exactly like yours does.  You know you’re special to me.  Just…I mean…well you saw her!  She’s hot, right?  Just calling a spade a spade.”

Sigh.  Men! 

I dialed back my ire, “Go on.”

“Anyway, I assume my body called to her as well.  Actually, she said as much.  But I swear, it meant nothing!  I haven’t even spoken to her since we met on the subway.  Please, can you forgive me?”

The funny thing was that I wasn’t even angry with him, deep down.  Part of me - the old me - felt like I should be, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.  The fact that I had just come so close to doing exactly what she had, knowing how powerless he would have been to stop me if I had wanted to take it further, made me even more dismissive of his guilt.   

Ok, my turn to come clean, “I have a confession to make as well. Just now, I barely stopped myself from having my way with you in spite of your refusal. 

“It’s ugly, and I abhor the thought of it, but something within my body reacts to yours in a very…compelling way, just like you’re saying.  Maybe I’m no better than Ash, but I will fight this.  You matter to me more than anything else in the world, and I never want to lose your trust.”

I could feel our collective doubts melting away, so I quickly knelt to bring our mouths level, pulling him into a passionate kiss. 

Coming up for air, I saw him open his eyes and say, “We never kissed, you know.  Ash and I.  At least, I never kissed her back.  It was just sex.  There was nothing more there.”

I grabbed his face with both hands and looked directly into his eyes.

“In your heart, you love me.  Though you may not have worked it out in your head yet, I can tell anyway.  You forget that I know you better than you know yourself.” I took on a sly smile at that.

“We did talk about this, and though I’m not happy about what that woman did to you, I know your heart still holds only me.”

I smiled at him tenderly then and got up to get my things out of the car.  “I’m going to go grab my blow-up mattress and my other bags; I figured you didn’t have anything that would fit me here.

“Want to give me a hand?”

“Of course, milady.” He mimed a courtier’s bow.

“Wouldn’t want my fair maiden to have to carry her own luggage.  Please allow me to assist you.”  He smiled then, and my heart melted.

I giggled. He was so cute, wanting to help with heavy things.  This was going to be a good weekend.