Elise

Staring at my empty coffee cup, I realized I was lost in my thoughts again.  At work for over five hours and I felt like I hadn’t gotten anything accomplished.  As usual, Alex filled my thoughts as I neared my two o’clock with Diane.

It was a minor miracle that I was able to get on her calendar the very day I requested to speak with her.  If it went well I may be able to bring Alex good news when I came home tonight!

His contentment was important to me, but I had to admit to doing this for selfish reasons too.  Our slumping sex life had been a huge frustration.  Panic had begun to set in that his depression and lack of drive would never go away. 

Didn’t he love me anymore?  I couldn’t have been more clear about how badly I needed him, that’s for sure!  The browser history on my smartphone showed just how much time I’d spent searching for tips on how to deal with recalcitrant men over the past couple weeks.

Unfortunately, it seemed that 90% of the solutions involved taking a firm hand with your man.  Some even talked about straying to other men to get “your due”.  Both were out of the question, of course...but would I be able to say that forever? 

Maybe a weekend out of town would pick his spirits up.

Seeing that it was time for my appointment with Diane, I made my way to her office.

I was so distracted that I bumped right into Glen, Diane’s admin, rounding the corner to her office.  The poor little guy was knocked back a few feet and fell, dropping his stack of copies unceremoniously. 

I scanned him to make sure my clumsiness  hadn’t done him harm. 

“Oh Glen! I’m so sorry! Are you OK?”

Thanking God for the fact that I had merely bumped him instead of stepping on him, I bent down and helped him with the letter-sized (now 11x17”) papers.  It was horrifying to think that I had almost crushed every bone in his foot! 

“I-it’s OK Elise, it was my fault.  I shouldn’t have been moving so quickly knowing I’m sometimes difficult to see,” he said tremulously.

“None of that Glen.  The fault was mine. Please, accept my apology”

I handed the stack of papers I had collected back to him and stood up, letting him stand on his own instead of picking him up, as most women would have done.  He smiled timidly.

“Hey, no harm done.  You know Elise, you’re one of the good ones.”

Scurrying on, I reached Diane’s office.  

“Elise.  How are you?  Have a seat.” Diane motioned to the chair and I moved to sit after closing her office door behind me. 

“I’m glad you caught me.  It’s been awhile since we talked.  What can I do for you?  Is this a sensitive matter?”

“Not…exactly, but I do want to be able to speak freely, if that’s OK with you.  Some of it’s work-related, but I have a personal question too.”

“Of course! What’s on your mind?”

“Well, both topics regard my boyfriend, Alex.  I’ve mentioned him before.”

She nodded, “Yes, I believe we met, briefly.  Was this the young man that brought you flowers on your birthday? 

“That one turned a few heads among the girls, if I’m not mistaken,” she smirked.

I smiled, “Yes, that’d be him.  He’s been somewhat despondent since he lost his student status at the University.  He’s got a good work ethic, and he’s very bright.  He had plans to be a medical doctor, and I know he would have pulled it off brilliantly if not for the, uh, gender situation.”

Diane nodded.

“He’s been looking for a job lately.” Her eyes went up at this. “Some way to feel like he can make a difference.

“As you can imagine, he’s been faced with a lot of rejection on that front, with the exception of the kinds of positions you might guess he would be offered.”

Another knowing nod.

“So, I had thought maybe the firm might be able to offer him something.  We have that receptionist position available, and if you would consider taking him on, I’m confident he would show you he could complete more challenging tasks.”

Diane’s executive leather chair creaked as she leaned back.

“Elise, first let me say that I applaud your dedication to him.  He must be quite special for you to want such things to make him happy. 

“However…you know things have been difficult for the men within the firm.  The fact is that there are still almost a dozen men working here who held out during the shift to a more female…friendly workplace.  Would it be fair to them if we were to elevate someone new to a woman’s position when the other men are restricted to admin and clerical roles? 

“I’ll remind you that many of those men accepted demotions from their previous positions simply to stay on and work.  Hell, Frank Ayres used to be one of our executive VPs.  Now he’s answering phones!”

I was outraged at the reminder.  “But it’s exactly this kind of unfair treatment of men that we should be trying to stop!” 

She looked stern at that, reminding me whom I was speaking to. 

“Please, excuse my outburst.  This has been a sore subject for me lately.  I see your point regarding fairness to the other male employees, but I only ask for your consideration.”

Diane’s expression softened.  “Absolutely. It’s the least we can do for one of our rising stars. 

“I’ve spoken to your supervisor, and we both feel you have great potential here at DDPW. I understand an offer was made to bring you on as a full time associate after you graduate next year.  I hope I don’t have to tell you what an unprecedented honor it is to receive such an early commitment on behalf of the firm, and I sincerely hope you’re giving it due consideration.”

“Oh, definitely, I am!  DDPW has my gratitude for all they’ve provided to me these past couple of years, and I’ll never forget it.”

Apparently she was gratified with my response, as I received another nod. 

“So! I believe you mentioned a personal question?”

Ugh, now that I’m in her office, this is a bit intimidating.  Girl talk with one of the junior partners? 

“Y-yes.  Well as I said, things haven’t been going swimmingly between Alex and I lately.  If I’m being too forward, I’ll apologize up front. 

“I don’t usually put much stock in such things, but I’d heard a rumor that your husband keeps a job…and that you’re, well, close.”

Clarifying, I added, “I mean, close as in the way it used to be.  Woman and husband, like partners, or equals. That sort of thing. 

“That’s what I’m looking for.”

She snorts, “Oh yeah?  Is that what they say?”

I nod.

“Well, it’s not that far from the truth.  Dale is very dear to me, and against my better judgment, I find myself giving in to him too often, but I can’t say that our relationship didn’t change considerably with the virus.

“Yes, my husband works.  He’s got it in his fool head that his previous notions of being a provider for me still apply.  I’m not quite sure why I indulge him in this, but I do find it easier to deal with him at home when he’s content, so I give in.”

Suddenly she puts on a serious air, “But make no mistake Elise, it’s best to break them of these silly male delusions early.  That way you’re not continually dealing with their frustration.  No one wants an unmanageable husband, right?”

This was obviously rhetorical, so I said nothing. 

“In the early days, after Dale was fired, and I was on the rise here at DDPW, he felt threatened, and he withdrew from me.  He stopped wanting sex, and our marriage spiraled downward with his depression.  I had no idea what to do.  I became desperate. 

“Eventually, I discovered a new program that wives were using to help their husbands.  It’s called MarriageWorks.  Obviously it’s intended for married couples, but I understand they are now allowing women to sign up their boyfriends if they can provide proof that the relationship has been ongoing for more than a year. 

“It…helps, in situations like these.  It’s completely harmless, and I can tell you Dale’s been much more eager to please ever since.”

A small part of me rejoiced that the answer to our problems could be so simple, but my suspicions flared. 

“It’s a ‘program’?  What kind of program?  Like, subliminal audio recordings played while sleeping?  That sort of thing?”

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what it entails, in detail.  It’s a course, of sorts, offered at certain medical facilities.

“I worried about Dale at first, wondering if this was some kind of destructive brain tampering or something, but one of my friends highly recommended it, and when he came back that first evening, he seemed just fine.  No worse for wear, and much happier than he had been.

“We’ve been happy ever since.”

We?  Doesn’t she mean I?  This sounded sick.  My stomach turned just thinking about what they must be doing to those men.  This is love?  I staggered at the thought that Diane was one of the “good ones”. 

Best not to let on though, so I pretended to be interested.

“Really!? Wow, that sounds like exactly what we’ve been looking for.  Do you mind if I get the info from you at some point?”

Saying “we’ve” felt like throwing up a little in my mouth, but it seemed to satisfy her that she had helped me. 

Diane smiled gratuitously, “Absolutely!  You know, Elise, I’m glad you came to me.  When I look at you I see me, 20 years ago.  You have a very bright future here.  I just know it.

“I’ll have Glen email you the details for MarraigeWorks.  Regarding the position for Alex, no need for a resume.  I’m sure he’s qualified based on what you’ve said.  I’ll have Glen setup a time for an interview.  Don’t worry, that’s more of a formality than a real part of the selection process, at least when it comes to male applicants.”

“Thank you again Diane,” I gave a slight bow of my head and exited her office.  She had already returned to work.

Now I had to convince Alex to take the job.  It didn’t sound like it was going to be anything more than a receptionist position, and I wasn’t about to lie to him about that.  Hmm, maybe I could press the angle that we’d be working together.