Elise

The end of the semester was closing in, and I was counting the days until Alex would return.  I nearly lost it earlier today in the middle of class when I received his cryptic text message: “We need to talk.” 

The suspense ate at me throughout the rest of the day.  Was he breaking up with me?  He had talked about that girl in his Chem class often enough.  What was her name?  Kara?  Was I smothering him?  I hid behind the excuse that my frequent visits were to protect him from the danger of infected girls, but this was only partially true.  In reality, I just wanted to be near him all the time.  Waking up with him curled up next to me, nuzzling his head against my breast, filled me with happiness and buoyed me through the day. 

My thoughts were bleak as I considered what Alex would say.  Get a hold of your paranoia, Elise.  He loves you.  Something may be bothering him, but he clearly needs you, so keep it together. 

Summoning my courage as I sat on my bed after dinner, I finally dialed him.

“El! I was just thinking about you!”

“Hey Honey, you said you wanted to talk about something?”  My stomach was sitting about 12 inches higher than it was supposed to, but I kept it from my voice.

“I’m glad you called, yes, I did.”

I closed my eyes in relief, clearly he didn’t intend to break up with me.  Right?

“I wanted to talk to you about…what I’ve been feeling.” He said tremulously. 

The nerves came back.

“Lately, I’ve felt that you’ve been more…uh, I don’t know how to say this…controlling? than ever before.  I know it’s a dangerous world with infected everywhere.  They’re becoming more common every day.  The problem – that is, my pull, on women, you might say – seems to be getting more powerful too.

“But as much as I enjoy being with you and value your protection, I need my other friends as well.”

“Alex, let me-“ I started, but he cut me off.

“Please, let me finish.  I’ve done a lot of thinking, and I want you to know it all before you respond.”  

I got up and paced as I listened. 

“Let me give you some perspective.  When guys are raised, we’re taught to suppress our emotions.  Emotions are weakness.  We’re told to despise this weakness in those that society believes should be strong – other guys.  Strength is paramount, and part of being strong is sheltering those that are weaker than us, including women.  We’re instructed to hide our fears, showing no emotion in the face of adversity.

“But now I’m faced with a world in which I can’t be strong.  In which the very women I was taught to safeguard are either those that would threaten me, or perhaps worse, my protectors. 

“Logic tells me to appreciate this protection – your protection – and realize it for the love that it is.  But this has been a struggle for me these last few months, as the roles in our partnership have shifted from equals, to…something else.”

“When you made me wrestle you for my freedom a few weeks ago, in many ways I looked at our literal power struggle as symbolic as well.  It’s not easy to say, but my ego was dealt a crushing blow by the ease with which you handled me.” 

“Almost like I were some kind of unruly pet, wrongly wishing to get itself into trouble.”

Horrified, I became deathly cold in an instant.  I felt two inches tall. 

“Alex, no!  I just wanted to have a bit of fun with you.  I was worried about you, but I would never think of you as a pet.  I may be larger than you, and I have a unique perspective on infected women’s thoughts and motivations toward you, that’s all.  I had hoped that you would value this perspective and come to see it for what it is.  This was never some kind of order from a superior, but a warning from an inside source.”

How could I make him see?  I was desperate.

“Alex, you are my partner, and my love.  My true soulmate.  I am so sorry.  I see now how insensitive that was.  Please believe me, I didn’t intend to demean you. 

“No matter what size we are, you’ll always be my king.  I would bow to you, if you wished it.”

“El, while I love hearing you say those things, I was about to say that after all my reflection, I’ve accepted this.  After Vicki did what she did, despite my efforts to stop her, I recognize that I need your help.  With the number of uninhibited and desperate women growing all the time, the threat is real. 

“Ultimately, I wanted to tell you that I put my trust in you completely.

“It has been difficult, but I now believe I could even grow to love submitting to you.  On occasion, that is.” he chuckled.

I just wanted to reach through the phone and hold him.  His absolute trust and outpouring of love despite the emotional wounds I had inflicted upon him brought a tear to my eye.  I pictured his silly grin and tousled hair and got all warm inside.

“I love you, Alex.” I said quietly. 

“As much as this act of trust means to me, you were right to question.  You opened your heart to me, and I owe you the same.”

“My intentions have not always been entirely noble.  Though the largest part of me only wants happiness for you, a fraction of me wants to take you and make you mine entirely.  Worryingly, perhaps even to the exclusion of your own desires.”  I paused then, on pins and needles.  Unsure if I could face his rejection.  I needed to stay the course though.  Alex was silent.

“I’ve fantasized about us living out our days together in the world of tomorrow.  Shamefully, these dreams have you staying at home while I go to work.  Coming home to you and ravaging you until exhaustion finally stops us.  Talking about our lives over dinner and curling up on the couch together to watch a movie before falling asleep.  It is a powerful fantasy, and one I…still wish for.

“But your faith has bolstered my resolve to protect you, from the desires of others – even if they’re mine.  From now on, I will never let my own dreams for a life with you to come between us.  You have my word.”

“Heh, well now…that doesn’t sound so bad.  Sexing up my goddess of a wife at the end of every day and taking care of her every desire.  Yeah, not bad at all... 

“But really El, I love you more than anything, and while I want to have my own life too, your joy is more important to me than my own.  Let’s just take it one day at a time, and agree to trust each other.”

That sounded nice.  I could live with that, and told him so.  We spoke for a while longer and hung up.  All was right with the world again.

Now to focus on my penance; I was only interested in one thing: making a fantasy of his come true.  Only two weeks until Alex returned home.  Better let him spend this weekend with his college friends.  I’ll stay home and give him some space. 

I started to plan for his return.  Hmm, I was going to need some help…

******************************************************

The next morning I awoke eager to put my plan in motion.  I threw off the sheets and got up. 

Classes had already ended for the summer, and I was back to work full time.  Change had arrived there too: Dannen, Dean and Powell had become Dannen, Dean, Powell, and Whitney; our newest partner a competent infected woman who seemingly could not lose a case.  Her success had seemed to earn her the de facto role of office head, the other partners parlaying the fiduciary benefits of her meteoric rise into a quasi-state of retirement.  None of them had come to work in over a month, preferring to enjoy their success taking time off.  In addition, the female staff, previously relegated to paralegals and glorified secretaries, was making huge inroads into the courtroom setting as trial attorneys.  

It made sense, of course.  Our high priority clients were often women now, and they wanted to know that our firm understood their interests.

As I drove to work in Mom’s borrowed car, I hoped yet again that my waiting period for an infected woman’s vehicle would come to an end.  Mom had simply grown too tall to use even a modified normal car, so Dad had paid the exorbitant sum to gain her priority status on the waiting list. 

He worried me more every day.  He had been depressed lately since he had been passed over for a promotion he thought he had been favored for.  Naturally, an infected woman was chosen instead.  Something about needing to send the message that the company was progressive; changing with the times. 

I hadn’t been able to connect with Dad in quite some time, but I’m sure living in our enormous house didn’t exactly boost his spirits.  Mom was the only one he really opened up to.  I should talk to her about it. 

Sitting at the traffic light, I eyed the car I sat in.  It was a large, ungainly thing, just like the rest of the women’s vehicles built to date.  Six feet wide and nearly 25 feet long, they approached the dimensions of a standard stretch limousine, only with a roof line 8 feet high.   I sincerely hoped that automakers would eventually put the kind of effort into women’s cars that they had into normal ones.  So far, they were extremely utilitarian. 

As the average final stage infected’s shoulder width was over 36 inches, it was impossible to create a car that sat two of us abreast given the width of existing roads.  Women’s cars, therefore, were arranged for tandem occupancy, and seated only two women.  There was a standardized insert that could be fitted to the rear seat to accommodate two adult men or three children in parallel.  My dad used one. 

Yet unsolved, however, was a mechanism to allow males to drive infected vehicles.  Of course, this was a top priority for manufacturers as they strove to shift the standard auto size to infected dimensions with a one-size-fits-all strategy.  That said, with the infected vehicles as currently developed, the issue of using existing paved surfaces was, at least temporarily, solved.

Arriving at work at our new location in the infected-sized professional center, I walked through the 14 foot front door and greeted the receptionist.  Lena was already there, great. 

Lena had graduated from college last year, moving here from her home town about three months ago.  Her family and friends rejected her when she started to show symptoms.  It didn’t take me long to find a kindred spirit in her, and we quickly became friends.

She confided that she had been lonely and in need of a man lately.  I had caught her stealing glances at the photo of Alex on my desk as we chatted sometimes.  He was often a topic of conversation. 

Truthfully, I was surprised she hadn’t had more luck.  She had the kind of body that women paid plastic surgeons good money to get.  Curves for miles, especially with her infected height, which was just a hair under my own.  Her hair was light blond, worn in a short pixie cut with dark highlights.  Striking green eyes, perfect pale skin, and angular fine features gave her an otherworldly beauty that seemed incongruous with her hourglass figure.  All in all, she was definitely Alex’s type. 

Lena returned to her cube and smiled when she saw me. “Hey Elise! You’re here a little early today, aren’t you?”

“I guess, yeah.  Hey, I wanted to ask you something.” I looked around for eavesdroppers.  “Uh, it’s a little personal.  Do you mind stepping outside with me for a moment?  I just don’t want any prying ears”

She looked suspicious.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”

We made our way to the exit.  The new professional center was a part of a larger planned community complete with woman-made lakes, fountains, walking paths, and cultivated pockets of nature.  I started down the path and she easily kept pace.

“So what’s up?” Lena asked, eyeing me.

“OK, so I’m sure you’re sick of hearing me talk about Alex, but… well, I’m not going to get into all the details, but I kinda screwed up with him recently.  I’d really like to make it up to him.”

“Elise, you know I live vicariously through your relationship with Alex.”

“Well he’ll be home in two weeks after he wraps up his semester at college, and I was hoping you might be able to help me…apologize.” I was trusting her here, but I felt that I knew Lena pretty well now.

“Oooooo, this sounds juicy.  What happened?  Come on, you have to give me more than that!  And what part, exactly, would I play?”  She smiled devilishly and sipped her coffee.  “You know I’ve been dying to meet him ever since you showed me his photo.  He’s such a little hottie.”

I felt awkward.  There was no way I would have even considered doing this a year ago. 

“Um, alright.  If I’m out of line with this just smack me and forget I brought it up, but I seem to recall that you’ve been looking for a little companionship recently...”

I looked over at her, “Is that still true?”

She stopped dead, putting her hand over her mouth as she gasped.  “You’re kidding!  Eeeeeee!”

I guessed that was an enthusiastic ‘yes’ as she gave a little bounce.  “You want me to…YES!  But wait. Why would you share him with me?”

“Lena, I trust you as I trust no other infected.  Other than my mom.  You’re a good person, and I know how hard it can be as an infected without someone special to help you through these tough times.  You know me; I’m a softie for bad luck cases.

“But more to the point, I’m doing this for Alex because I love him and think he might enjoy it.  I’ve seen the way you treat Cliff the maintenance guy.  He’s clearly got a crush on you, but though he’s not your type, you’ve never been harsh in rebuffing him.  You’re a gentle and considerate person; traits that aren’t terribly common among infected.”

Grinning, I said, “Besides, if we can all have a little fun, and no one gets hurt, then why not?”

“But there is one reason.  More important than the rest, but you have to swear not to say anything to Alex or anyone else” I conspired.

She nodded, listening intently.

“I sort of did something to Alex that may have hurt his sense of self-worth.”  I looked down, thinking back on our heart-to-heart.  “Nothing intentional, of course, but I should have been more sensitive.  I was hoping we could…give him a little boost.  Know what I mean?”

Another nod.

“Aren’t you just the best girlfriend a guy could have! Or girl, for that matter!” her face was animated as she elbowed me in the ribs. 

“I know I should probably hesitate.  But, screw it, if you’re really cool with this, I’m all over him!  You know how it is with this damned disease.  I’ve worn out two vibrators in the last couple months.”

I grinned at how excited she was.

“I trust you Lena; and I trust Alex.  That’s really all it comes down to.  If you’re asking if I’ll get jealous, you shouldn’t worry.  I’m sure it was the virus that changed my outlook on monogamy, but the only thing I want to monopolize is his love.

“One more thing.  I want to help you out, but ultimately this is for Alex.  If he’s not comfortable for whatever reason, then we respect his wishes.  That’s key, so let’s just take it slow.  OK?”

She seemed disappointed, so I reassured her, “Don’t worry, with your body, there’s pretty much no way in hell he’s going to refuse you.” 

That perked her up.

We were to meet at my place the Saturday night after Alex returned.  I gave her the details of how I planned it to play out as we walked back to the office. 

Two giantesses intent on fulfilling his every desire.  Yeah, Alex would forgive me for sure after that.

******************************************************

“Mom, can I talk to you a minute?” I could do this.  Did I really think asking Lena was going to be the tough part?  How do you ask your mother to clear out of her own house so you can have sex with your boyfriend?

“Sure Sweetheart, what’s on your mind?” shutting off the faucet, she dried her hands and turned, giving me her full attention.

I checked to make sure Dad was still in his study. Good.

“Alex will be back in a couple weeks, and I have a surprise planned for him.  But I was really hoping that we could have the house to ourselves to…give it to him.”

A smirk spread across her face.  “Ahhh, I see.  I suppose I could drag your father out for a night away from home.” There was a little gleam in here eye at that.

Huh, that was easier than I thought.

“While we’re on the subject, Elise, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” She walked into the family room and sat on the new woman-sized couch.  I sat next to her, a little uncomfortable since my feet weren’t flat on the floor on account of my not quite full-grown state.

“You’ve had much more experience with this virus than I have.  I was hoping we could talk about it a little, woman to woman.”

“Sure Mom, what’s on your mind?”

“Well, it’s mostly the…urges.  I feel like I’m constantly in the mood.  It’s a little embarrassing, but I feel like I can’t get enough” she confided.

“Yeah, it was pretty bad for me too.”  Wow, it was surprisingly easy talking about sex with my mom.  I would have been mortified discussing this stuff with her before.  Was that the virus too? 

“I’m sure you figured it out when I spent half my evenings behind a locked door.”

“We wondered…but we wanted you to have your privacy” she said.

“Just be glad you have Dad.  I’m sure he makes it easier.”

“Well…” she looked uncomfortable. “That’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

OK, so maybe not completely comfortable talking about this with her.  “Mom, I want to help, but please don’t get explicit on me about Dad.”

“I’m sorry Sweetie, I won’t.  It’s just that he’s not really comfortable with my new size.”  A depressed look stole over her face.  “I haven’t been satisfied in quite some time.  And I’ve been thinking about it a lot. 

“Let me ask you: have you ever had to take a firm hand with Alex?”

I was stunned.  Wow, was this my sweet little mother?  Mrs. ‘Let me get that for you, Dear’?  She had changed.

“No, not exactly.  I don’t know that I could with him.  I mean I’ve made a mistake once or twice with him, but nothing intentional.  It would hurt him if I did.”

She nodded.  “Hmmm, yes, you’re probably right.  Still, sometimes I can’t help myself.  Sometimes he’s just being obstinate and I get tired of it.” The look on her face was a little scary, but it was only a moment until it softened.

“But then afterward, I feel terrible about it.  I love him just as much as the day we got married, and I know he loves me the same.  How can I expect him to be comfortable with something like this?  He can’t control that.” 

Mom was crumbling now, on the verge of tears. “I try to make it up to him, but I can see the doubt on his face.  It’s…  It’s like he doesn’t know who I am anymore.  Sometimes I don’t know who I am.”

“Mom, I know.  It’s hard, but you just have to remember the real you, not the disease telling you to do things.  Yes, those little voices in me have made me screw up with Alex a couple of times, but I fight them.  I think about the things that really make me happy – Alex’s love and companionship.  Where would I be if I lost that?”

“Maybe you and Dad could sit down and talk about the things that bother each of you.  Alex and I do that sometimes, and it’s really helped us.” I said.

It didn’t look like what I was saying was helping her.  “I see what you mean, but things like that can be difficult when you’ve been together a long time.  In some ways I envy you.  Young romance is one of life’s greatest joys.  You’ll look back on these days fondly many times through the years.

“And what about little Alex turning into such a cutie!  If I didn’t already have your father, Elise, you might have to fight me for him!”

Giggles bubbled out of both of us.  “Ahh, it feels good to laugh.  Thanks for talking with me Elise”

“Anytime, Mom.  Remember, talk to Dad.  Honestly.  Try to make him understand what you’re feeling too, and be patient with him.  I know he loves you more than anything.  Just look at all that he’s gone through for you” I said, indicating the room around us. “I’m sure he will understand.”

Mom finished up the dishes as I went up to bed.  Grabbing my pajamas out of the dresser, I started to strip out of my clothes, closing my eyes and picturing the evening I had planned for the three of us.  I didn’t find the idea of touching another woman sexy, but I figured I’d let Alex make her happy. 

My skin heated to the thought of him touching Lena.  I slid my hand across the smooth skin of my bare stomach, imagining it was Alex’s on me now.  Eyes closed, I was carried fully into the dreamscape I had concocted, and lay back on my bed to gratify myself.

It was going to be a long two weeks.