Morning comes at last. I'm already awake when Naomi kneels outside my house and asks if I want to take a bath. She seems surprised when I agree, but this is going to be my first date with Suzy... hell, my first date EVER, and I want to at least be clean for it.
Naomi waits for me to slip into my bathing trunks, then scoops me up in her palm. She carries me into the bathroom, draws my bath in the sink, and leaves me to my own devices while she showers. There's nothing playful or menacing about it. She's cold and unreadable, and I'm not certain if she's simply accepted the situation or if she's fighting the urge to crush me in her fist.
When we're done, she carries me back to my house and sets me down by my front door. Then, without a word, she turns and leaves me to get dressed.
When Suzy arrives, Naomi is all smiles. She tells Naomi, quite magnanimously, that she has decided to lift my grounding. "I decided to let you and Ray have go on your little date," she says, winking at me as she walks out the front door.
Nicole is curled up on the couch, watching Saved by the Bell. I happen to know for a fact that she has a crush on Mark-Paul Gosselaar, and she resents the fact that Naomi won't let her watch NYPD Blue because "all they do on that show is take off their clothes and talk dirty."
She looks over at us as Suzy carries me into the living room. "We're not supposed to hold him anymore," Nicole says in an earnest voice. "Momma said."
Suzy whistles. "Wow, that must have been some talk you had with Ms. Dalton last night."
"It's okay, Nicole," I say, smiling. "I don't mind being picked up as long as you ask me first."
"Then can I hold you?" Nicole asks, sitting up and holding out her hand. Suzy looks down at me with a raised eyebrow. I give her a nod.
"Be careful," Suzy says, gently setting me in Nicole's upturned palm. Nicole's fingers close around me, and she pulls me close, pressing me against her pink Hello Kitty sleep shirt.
"Okay, you guys watch TV," Suzy says, smiling at me. "I'll go get breakfast ready."
When Suzy's out of earshot, Nicole holds me up between her finger and thumb, dangling me in front of her face.
"I don't like being held like this," I tell her. "Hold me right, or put me down."
Nicole gives me a conspiratorial grin. "Do you want to play on my feet?"
I shake my head. "No thanks. That's really not a good idea."
She makes a pouty face and heaves a theatrical sigh. "Are you really going over to Suzy's house tonight?"
I nod. "Yeah, we're going to hang out and watch some movies."
"Is she going to give you organisms?"
"Nicole," I whisper harshly, my face burning, "you promised you wouldn't bring that up when Suzy was around."
"I didn't promise," she says with an evil grin. "But I won't say anything to Suzy if you'll rub my feet." She crosses her leg behind me and begins peeling off her sock.
"How about this?" I say, glaring at her with as much confidence as I can. "You behave yourself around Suzy, and I won't tell your mom that you watched NYPD Blue over at Kim's house last night when you got back from skating."
That frustrating grin falls from her face, much like it fell from her mother's last night. "How did you know?" she asks me.
"I didn't. I was just guessing," I tell her. "But now I do know. And if you say or do anything to embarrass me in front of Suzy, I'll tell your mom. That'll mean no more Tuesday nights with Kim, and no more watching Screech on NYPD Blue."
"It isn't Screech," she snaps at me. "It's Zack."
"Whatever. I can keep a secret if you can."
She sighs that same melodramatic sigh as always. "Fine." We lie there and watch TV in silence until breakfast is ready.
Damn, I'm getting good at this blackmail thing. Now all I need is some dirt on Paul and I'll have the whole family eating out of my hand. Figuratively speaking, of course...
The rest of the day passes with little event. I spend a couple of hours racing around in my little car, dazzling the girls with my driving ability. Or rather, dazzling Suzy. Nicole's seen it and is no longer impressed. Plus, she's still a little miffed at me about this morning, which is probably why her socked foot "accidentally" comes down right in my path. She giggles when I bounce harmlessly over her toes and warns me in a playful voice to look where I'm going.
Kim comes over late in the afternoon, and when five o'clock finally rolls around, the three of them are sitting in the living room floor, playing Go Fish. They each take turns letting me sit on their shoulder and whisper suggestions in their ear. Suzy is on the verge of taking her fourth straight game when the front door opens and Naomi comes walking in, followed closely by Cheryl.
I watch Cheryl nervously from my vantage point on Nicole's shoulder. She gives me such a knowing, condescending look that I know Naomi has discussed matters with her.
"Girls' Night tonight?" Suzy asks Naomi as she climbs to her feet.
"Yeah, Paul's working late, so we figured the four of us would go have dinner and maybe rent a movie."
"Too bad you're depriving us of Ray's company," Cheryl says in that raspy voice of hers, then looks directly at me. "I was hoping we'd get to spend some time together tonight." She slides her foot from her sandal when she says this and wiggles her toes, just in case I'm too stupid to understand her meaning.
Suzy grabs her purse, then looks down at me, where I still sit on Nicole's shoulder. "You ready, darling?" she asks, more for Cheryl's benefit than mine, I'm sure. Cheryl's smile doesn't falter, but her eyes narrow just a little bit.
"Sweet lord, yes," I tell her, giddy with excitement as she reaches down to collect me. My heart is pounding as her soft, warm fingers wrap around me and she holds me close to her, just under her breasts.
"Good night, ladies," Suzy says as we head for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ms. Dalton."
We're on the front walk, heading for Suzy's car, when Cheryl croaks after us, "Take care of our little man, Suzy!"
"Okay, I'll need to sneak you in," Suzy says to me as we pull into the parking lot of the apartment complex.
"How come?" I ask. "I thought your parents wanted to meet me."
"They do," Suzy says. "But they wouldn't want you staying the night with me. They're kind of... traditional."
"Okay, fair enough. Should I hide in your purse?"
"I've got a better idea," she says, grinning as she reaches for me. She tucks me in the breast pocket of her t-shirt. Her skin is astoundingly warm and I can feel the soft bump of her nipple through the fabric.
"Just hold still," she whispers as we cross the parking lot and walk up a flight of stairs. Her heart beats harder and quicker with each step, and the fabric of the shirt grows ever-so-slightly damp from her sweat and the Texas humidity.
I shift slightly, trying to bend my legs into a more comfortable position. I hear Suzy give a sudden gasp as her nipple grows rock hard against my back. Her hand presses against me through her pocket. "I said, be still," she whispers, stifling a giggle.
I hear her key in the door, and suddenly we're in a place that's cool and dark. The air is thick with a sweet, artificial freshener smell. Above the hum of the air conditioner, I can hear a TV.
"Mom?" Suzy says as we move through the dark apartment. "I'm home, Mom."
I hear a muffled yawn, then a woman's voice says in a quick, high pitch, "You wake me, Suzy!"
"Rough day at work?" Suzy asks. Her mom answers sleepily, "You can eat cold KFC in refrigerator. You let me sleep now."
"Okay, mom," I feel her lean forward and hear her plant an affectionate kiss. "Let me know if you need anything."
"Love you," her mom calls after her as Suzy walks down the hall and carries me into her bedroom. She shuts the door, then plucks me from her pocket and sets me down on her bed.
"Well now," she says, looking down at me with that sexy smirk on her lips. "Alone at last."
I've said it before. The problem with fantasy is that it sets expectations far too high for reality to live up to. Which probably explains the awkward silence that falls over me and Suzy. She's sitting up on her bed, propped against a couple of folded pillows. She holds me gently in her hands as we watch Dr. Strangelove. You see, I thought that line she fed Naomi about watching Kubrick films was just a line. I had no idea she really meant to watch them. Even now, they're stacked up next to her black and white television. Full Metal Jacket, Barry Lyndon, and Eyes Wide Shut.
"Can you see?" she asks me for the fifth time, and I nod. I can see the screen quite clearly, but I'm having trouble paying attention. Because her legs are stretched out in front of us, and her beautiful bare feet are right there, bathed in the flickering gray light of her TV.
"Are you hungry?" she asks me. I tell her not really, but I'll eat something whenever she decides to. I then turn my attention back to her sexy toes. I so desperately want to feel them wrapped around me, gently grinding against me. I find myself wondering just what she would do if I stood up, walked over to her feet, and started stroking them. Would she be appalled? Would she find the whole thing funny? God, if only I had the nerve...
"I called SPECTRUM last night," she says. "Like you asked."
"Really? Did you have any trouble getting through?"
She shrugs. "I had to call Information for the number, and all they had was this one-eight-hundred public relations number. So I called them and asked for Louise Herndon, and they kept shuffling me around and told me that she was unavailable. So I gave them my name and number, and told them to tell her that the call was in reference to Ray Miller. She called me back fifteen minutes later."
"And you told her?"
"Yeah, I told her everything you had told me about Ms. Dalton and that Benny guy. She was surprised. She said they suspected Mr. Dalton was sleeping around, either with that Rachel woman from GenetiTech or with Ms. Morgan next door." Suzy giggles. "God, can you imagine?"
"I'm desperately trying not to," I tell her. "In fact, I may need to take a couple dozen baths to get that image off of me."
She snorts laughter, and her fingers close playfully around me. "Anyway, she said she'd pass the information to the appropriate people, and she asked me how you were."
"What did you tell her?"
"The truth," Suzy says, looking down at me. "I told her that you were unhappy with the Daltons, that I didn't think they treated you particularly well, and that you couldn't wait to get back to SPECTRUM."
I nod, suddenly sad with the thought of Louise. I can't believe it's only been three days since I've seen her and Alan. How can I wait a month until their next visit?
As if reading my mind, Suzy strokes my back gently with her green fingernails. "Poor Ray," she says. "This isn't much fun for you, is it?"
"What? I mean, I'm having fun..."
She laughs quietly and shakes her head. "I'm going to tell you something, and I hope it doesn't freak you out. Because if it does, I..." She pauses and says, "I was wondering what I am to you."
I'm startled by the question, and it must show on my face. She smiles nervously, awaiting an answer.
"I don't know how to answer that," I tell her, "because I've been wondering the same thing about you. I must seem like some ridiculous little thing, something to pet or play with..."
Her mouth drops when I say this. I think her feelings are a little hurt. "You're... a miracle, Ray. I don't know how else to describe it. You're this beautiful, smart, funny, sweet... perfect little man. And when I ask myself how you could possibly be interested in me, I remember it's pretty much by default. You tolerate my company because you haven't met anybody else." I can see a tear on her cheek, glistening in the light of the TV. "And I must seem like some kind of monstrous thing to you."
I shake my head as emphatically as I can, until it hurts my neck (I'm still a little sore from yesterday's adventure at the beauty shop). "Suzy, I adore you! I don't think a minute's gone by since I met you that I don't think about you, and wonder if you're thinking of me." I stroke her index finger as I speak. "Part of it is because you're the only one who's treated me like a person since I got here, and part of it is because you're so beautiful that it makes my heart race just to be near you."
She grins down at me, wiping at her cheek with her other hand. My heart is pounding so hard I feel like I'm going to faint. I don't think I've ever been more scared than I am right now. I know there's no reason to be this frightened, but this is uncharted territory and I'm terrified that, somehow, I'm going to screw it up.
Suzy lifts me up in her cupped palm. "I got really scared last night, thinking about you and Ms. Dalton. I kept thinking about what might happen if you pushed her too far. I wanted so badly to call you and tell you to forget the whole thing, that it wasn't worth it."
She sighs. "And when everything worked out, and I finally got you home tonight, I lost my nerve. Ever since I've met you, I've imagined what we might do if I could have you all to myself. And tonight, I suddenly thought, what if I repulse you? What if I terrify you? What if I'm no different to you than Ms. Dalton or Ms. Morgan?"
God, I feel like I'm floating outside my body. I'm trembling so hard that I'm certain she can feel it. I can't believe she's as neurotic about us as I am.
I nuzzle my cheek against her fingertip, then kiss it. I look up into her stunning face, into her overwhelming green eyes. "You're no monster, Suzy." I tell her, basking in her smile. "You're a goddess. My goddess."
"Wow," she says. I can't tell if her hand is trembling or if it's just me. She takes a wavering breath and looks down at me with such adoration I feel like my heart is going to swell and explode. "Okay, the first thing we do is get rid of Mr. Kubrick," she says, setting me down on her nightstand and crawling to the foot of her bed. She reaches over and cuts off the VCR, then the TV. She stretches to reach the CD player on top of her dresser, hits fast forward a couple of times while counting quietly to herself, then hits play. By the time she crawls back and picks me up, the soft synth and bass of Love and Rockets' "Haunted"
"I love this song," I tell her.
She smiles that sexy smile of hers. "I know. I remember. You told me the first day we met." She holds me up to her face and says playfully, "And now, to put my mind at ease and to make sure that you enjoy yourself later, you tell me what you would like me to do."
"What?" I cling to her finger, my brain threatening to overload and shut down. "I mean, what?"
"It's simple," she says. "You tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it," she says. The room is dark, lit by nothing but the dim bulb of a Donald Duck nightlight. I can't tell, but I'm pretty sure she's blushing. If so, she's not the only one.
"You'll do it?" I repeat dumbly.
"Within reason," she laughs. "Now, what do you like?"
I sit there in her hand, hyperventilating and clinging to her finger to keep myself from collapsing. This is it, the chance I've been waiting for, and now I'm too timid to act.
"Hey, it's okay," she says soothingly, rubbing me with her finger. "We don't have to do anything you don't..."
"Your feet," I blurt out, short of breath. "I really like your feet."
She giggles. "Really? The way you were acting, I thought it was something really nasty." She pulls up her t-shirt, then lays me on the bare flesh of her tummy. "Okay, we're going to play a game. There's something I'd really, really like you to do for me. And if you can figure it out, I'll spend the rest of the night making you the happiest man in the world."
My voice catches in my throat. I cough and says, "And if I lose?"
"That's the great part about this game," she says, holding up her t-shirt for me. "Everybody's a winner."
I crawl beneath the cotton of her shirt, and she lets it fall down around me. Her flesh is downright feverish against the palms of my hands, and I can feel her quivering as I make my way towards her chest.
She giggles, and shakes beneath me as I crawl in the darkness towards her breast. The smell of her is strong, almost intoxicating. Perfume, soap, faint sweat, and another tantalizing smell that defies description.
I continue climbing when I reach her breast, and her quivers become outright trembles by the time I reach her stiff, protruding nipple. I run my hand over the small bumps of her areola, feeling them tighten beneath my fingers. Her nipple, almost the size of my head, is rigid and wrinkled to my touch. As I stroke her with my fingers and the palm of my hand, her moaning becomes panting and soon becomes a serious of sharp, helpless gasps.
"Oh, God," I hear her moan breathlessly as I touch my lips to her nipple and kiss the unyielding flesh. Her entire body writhes beneath me. Her breathing grows more and more urgent, punctuated with moans and cries of "Oh, God," and "Please!" I feel her hand pressing down on me through the shirt, mashing me against her breast, rubbing me against her firm nipple.
Her thrashing is rhythmic, and it grows faster and faster as I continue to stroke and kiss her nipple. Her muffled screams become unintelligible, simple grunts of animal pleasure. And then, with a tremendous shudder and a long, wavering breath, she falls still beneath me.
I'm drenched in sweat, both mine and hers, when she plucks me from her breast and holds me up to her face. Even in the dim light, I can tell she's flushed and grinning wearily at me.
"That was incredible," she gasps, touching me between the legs with her index finger. For the first time, I notice the ferocity of my erection.
"You poor thing," she says. "You're about to burst and you haven't even had your turn yet."
Her words sound distant and otherworldly in my buzzing ears. "Would you like to get out of those clothes?" she asks me. I nod weakly, and she helps me strip down. She drops my clothes on her nightstand, then leans back once again. I'm naked, dangling between her finger and thumb, helpless and so excited in her grasp.
Leisurely, teasingly, she bends her leg and brings the other up to rest on it. Her beautiful toes wriggle as she moves me towards her foot with tantalizing slowness. She presses me against the pale, soft flesh of her sole and rubs me along the bottom of her foot. Slowly at first, then faster and with more force, all the while whispering, "Like that? Is that how you like it?"
I don't just climax, I explode. Screaming and pounding on the bottom of her foot, I spasm and black out as the orgasm rips through my body, replacing that frantic pressure with a sad, gnawing emptiness. In that one post-coital moment, I gaze wearily into the face of my goddess and smile as I press my cheek against her sole.
"Good?" she asks me. I nod and manage to say between gasps, "Sorry it... was... so quick."
"Oh, don't be," she says, sliding me up and pressing me between her toes. "We'll just give it fifteen minutes and try again." Her hand withdraws and her sexy, beautiful toes begin wriggling, grinding against me and bringing me pleasure I've never imagined.
"After all," she says with that incredible smile, "we've got all night, don't we?"
After the third time, I'm so exhausted I can't even hold my head up. By this point, I'm lying on her bed, pinned beneath Suzy's foot as her big toe mercilessly kneads what remains of my erection. She feels my body go limp and reaches down to scoop me up.
"Are you okay, darling?" she asks me.
I nod so weakly that I doubt she can even see it. "Yeah. I'm just... spent."
"I'll bet!" she giggles. "Are you tired of my feet yet?"
"Never," I say, dramatically. "I'd live there if I could."
"Ooh, I like the sound of that," Suzy says. "I could buy some big, floppy clown shoes so you'd have enough room to move around."
"Sandals," I say, barely conscious. "I like sandals."
"Good to know," she says. "How about my toenails? Would you like another color?"
"No," I tell her. "Green is my favorite color."
"Hey, mine too!" Suzy says, laying back and holding me to her face. I look into her eyes once again, shocked by the intensity of my feeling for her. I think I'm honest-to-god in love.
"I know," I tell her. "I remember. You told me the first day we met."
After resting for an hour or so, we both realize that we're starving. It's after eleven - Suzy's mother has gone to work and her father isn't due back for another three hours - so we sit at the kitchen table and share a piece of cold fried chicken. Afterwards, we go back to Suzy's room and watch Conan O'Brien until we both fall asleep.
I don't want to belabor this, or overthink it. But I remember when I first started fantasizing about women (or fantasizing about feet - at the time, I was unable to make the distinction). My daydreams involved a lot of humiliation and a lot of helplessness. To me, these elements were inseparable from the physical aspects of the fantasy. When I imagined myself pinned beneath Louise's foot, I would construct an elaborate narrative leading up to it. In my fantasy, she was always angry about something, and she was looking to punish me. And the thought of being completely at her mercy excited me to no end.
But as I've said many times, the problem with fantasy is that it sets standards too high for reality to live up to. My dreams became real when I was subjected to all manner of humiliation and helplessness at the feet of Naomi and Cheryl. And I remember thinking how much this sucked, and wondering how I could have been so stupid as to ever long for these feelings.
So what happened with me and Suzy tonight? No humiliation. No helplessness. For the first time, it wasn't about somebody exerting power over me. It was consensual, done in affection rather than malice. It may seem obvious to most people, but it's something of an epiphany for me. I never thought I would be able to have a romantic relationship with someone on my own terms.
And it never occurred to me that I would come to love somebody that treated me as a person.
Wednesday night with Suzy is probably the greatest night of my life, but it isn't long before I'm back to worrying again. Things are going too well, and it's inevitable that somehow, something is going to go wrong.
"You worry too much," Suzy tells me on Thursday afternoon, grinning as she sets me astride her bare foot. It's the first time alone we've had since she brought me home this morning. But Nicole and Kim are outside, practicing cheers or making up dance routines or whatever the hell it is they do.
Suzy has been wearing rubber thong sandals, strictly for my benefit. I know that personally, she finds them tacky and never wears them in public except at the pool or the beach. But this morning, she dug them out from under her bed and put them on. She then set me in the floor and paraded around, basking in my admiration of her feet.
Now her sandals lie discarded in the floor, and I find myself straddling her instep. I can hear and feel her toes wiggling slowly behind me. I look back over my shoulder and marvel at her lovely toes, remembering how it felt to be grasped between them or pinned under them.
"You're also kind of easily distracted," Suzy says, giggling. I look up into her beautiful almond eyes, green and playful. "I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
She shakes her head. "You're incorrigible. I said, you worry too much."
"Yeah, I know. I can't help it. It just seems like every time I'm really happy, something comes along to screw it up. It's like I'm waiting for..."
"The other shoe to drop?" Suzy asks, bucking her foot playfully beneath me.
I sigh. "I love you, Suzy."
"I know," she grins. I'm a little taken aback.
"You feel the same way, don't you?"
"Of course," she says. "May I remind you, I wore my white trash shoes for you today."
"Then why won't you say it?"
She shakes her head. "I will. But not just because you said it first."
Giantess World
Homunculus by Cayce