"I had a dream about you last night," Suzy tells me with a demure smile. That pronouncement alone is enough to make my heart race with excitement. I grin up at her from her cupped palm and ask, "Was I naked?"
She giggles. "No, it was strictly PG. I dreamed I was your size and you were showing me around your dollhouse. Mrs. Dalton was mad because I didn't do the dishes, and she was looking for me, so we had to be real quiet so she wouldn't catch us. So you took me into a crystal ballroom..."
"Wait a minute," I interrupt. "Crystal ballroom?"
"Yeah. Your dollhouse was really, really nice. Had a media room with lots of TVs, and an indoor pool. Anyway, we were in the crystal ballroom and there was a Count Basie song playing in the background - a slow one - so we started dancing. And I knew I could only stay your size until midnight, but I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd be afraid of me if you saw me all... you know... big."
"That's silly," I tell her, touching her fingertip lightly with the palm of my hand. She responds by rubbing me gently with her finger.
"I know," she says, trying not to look embarrassed. "You think some weird things in dreams sometimes. Anyway, you kissed me and touched my cheek, and then..." She giggles. "Let's just say we were pushing that PG envelope pretty hard."
I'm blushing furiously now, and so is she. I wonder if she can feel my heart pounding. "Then what happened?" I ask, my voice breaking slightly.
Suzy sighs. "Then Naomi knocked on the roof and told me it was midnight and time for me to go. And I knew I was about to start growing and I didn't want you to see, so I ran out the front door. Only when I went through the door, I was back at East Texas State, running up and down the hall, looking for the Poli Sci final."
"Poli Sci? You lost me."
She shrugs. "I usually wind up dreaming about school for some reason." She's silent for a second, then asks me, "What about you? Have you ever dreamed about me?"
I nod. "A couple of times. The first time was right after I met you, and I dreamed that you were looking for me, but you couldn't find me because Cheryl had cut off my arms and legs with a pair of fingernail clippers."
"God!" she says, shaking her head. "Thank you, Morbid Morbidson."
"Hey," I tell her, laughing. "You've got school issues? I've got Cheryl issues."
"I bet," she says, grinning sympathetically. "I'm her size and she scares me. So, what about your other dreams? Anything hot and steamy?"
"Well, I once dreamed that we were eating donuts and smoking cigars while we were sitting on a heart-shaped bed in a train that was going into a tunnel while the 1812 Overture was playing."
She snorts. "You're kidding."
"Yeah," I tell her. "I am."
She gives me that smile, the tight-lipped smirk that always leaves me feeling giddy, and slaps at me playfully with her fingertips. "Smart ass," she says. "I was about to go all first-year Freud on you."
I gasp in mock surprise. "That's not fair," I tell her. "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
God, I love the sound of her laugh. "Okay. Any other dreams about me that don't involve dismemberment or overt sexual symbolism?"
"Okay. There's this one where I'm big, you know... your size? And I see you at the far end of the hall and I start running towards you. Then you see me and you smile and you start running towards me. Only as we get closer, I get smaller and smaller. And by the time I reach you, I'm down there at your feet and you're looking around, wondering where I went. And I'm screaming and yelling and waving, trying to get your attention..." I sigh. "Sorry. It was kind of a downer, now that I think about it."
"Ray, that's something you'll never have to worry about," she says, hugging me to her. "You'll always have my attention, okay?"
It's the first day of Nicole's summer vacation, which is why Suzy is here. Right now, Nicole and Kim are in the back yard, making up dance routines or cheers or some damn thing. This is the first chance that Suzy and I have had to talk, and it's been nice.
"So, I was thinking..." she says, holding me up to her beautiful face. "Maybe your dad and Mrs. Dalton would let you come visit me sometime? Like come over for dinner or something..."
"Like a date?" I ask, praying that the next sound I hear won't be Suzy's hysterical, mocking laughter...
"Yeah, like a date," she says with a shy grin. "I mean, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
I nod enthusiastically. "Yeah, I would!" Then I sigh. "But I don't think Paul or Naomi are going to let that happen any time soon."
She shrugs. "I kinda get that vibe too, but I'll ask anyway. All they can do is say no, right?"
To my surprise, Naomi seems to take Suzy's request quite reasonably. Suzy pitches it with manipulative expertise. She has some old Kubrick films on video and, since I'm such a movie buff, she'd love to have me over one night this week to watch them.
"I'm afraid this week is out of the question," Noami says. "Ray's grounded until next Saturday."
Suzy glances at me and smiles. I've told her about making Naomi and Cheryl chase me around last night. "Maybe next week then?"
Naomi chuckles. "Maybe so, if Ray can stay out of trouble that long." She holds me up to her face and says in ghastly baby talk, "Think you can do that, sweetie?"
"Yes, ma'am," I tell her.
"All right, then," Naomi says. "We'll see."
"Great!" Suzy says, grabbing her purse. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." She gives me a little wave and mouths, "Bye, Ray." I watch her walk out the front door, feeling empty as always once she's gone.
"So, you and Suzy want a night together, huh?" she asks, still smiling sweetly. "That is so adorable."
"You're going to let me go?" Two weeks in the Dalton household have taught me to be suspicious anytime Naomi is being nice.
"Like I said, we'll see," she says as she lights up a cigarette. "Your daddy isn't going to like the idea, but I'm sure I can talk him into it. Assuming you make it all week without getting grounded again."
"I'll be good," I tell her. "I promise."
She takes a long drag on her cigarette, then exhales slowly, letting the smoke trickle from her nose. "I hope so, sweetie."
Dinner comes and goes with little incident. Naomi serves me one of my frozen dinners - pot roast and mashed potatoes. The rest of the family gets Hamburger Helper, so I count myself quite lucky. Those pasta shells are extra repugnant when they're the size of your head...
After dinner, Paul makes himself a drink and collapses in his Barcalounger. Naomi clears the table and starts on the dishes.
Nicole is supposed to be cleaning her room. Instead, she's lying back on her bed, holding me up to her face between her thumb and finger so she can admire my new clothes.
"These are so adorable," she says, brushing my shirt and jeans with her fingertips. She gently hooks her index finger beneath my legs and lifts them up so she can have a closer look at my shoes.
Her warm breath flows over me with each exhale, smelling of the cinnamon gum she's always chewing. Once again, I'm completely helpless in her grasp. I have no choice but to surrender myself completely, and trust that she won't tear off my arms or crush me in her fist.
Ever since I was a child, I trusted Louise completely and totally, without question. But my most sordid and intense fantasies used to involve Louise taunting me as she pinned me beneath her bare foot. For me, I guess the excitement came from the sheer dichotomy of the situation. I had taken this woman who loved me like a son, and I had converted her into a disinterested goddess who could bring me exquisite pleasure or excruciating pain with just an inconsequential twitch of her toes.
But in the last two weeks, I've seen my fantasies become a reality. I've suffered ignominies at the feet of Cheryl and Naomi that I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams. And along with the helplessness and the vulnerability, I've had to endure a host of other feelings as well - shame, guilt, anger, fear, and hopelessness. Looking back now, I can't believe I ever wished this for myself.
That's the problem with fantasy. It sets standards too high for reality to ever live up to.
But back to Nicole. Her face breaks into a cute grin as she regards my sneakers. "They're so itty bitty," she coos, closing one eye to see them better. "They kinda look like little Sketchers, only without the laces."
"Yeah, the laces are kind of difficult to manage, although I bet Sally could do it if I asked."
Nicole lets my legs back down. "Who's Sally? Was she like your girlfriend or something?"
I laugh. "No. Sally's older than your mom. But she's really nice and she can make just about anything. She's the one that built my car for me."
"Cool," Nicole says, then adds casually, "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
"Yeah, right," I say, rolling my eyes. "Because girls just love a boy who can look them straight in the ankle."
Nicole smiles, but doesn't laugh. "Is that why you like feet so much? Because you're always down there close to them?"
I blush slightly. "I don't know. I really haven't thought about it that much."
"What about Suzy? Do you want her to be your girlfriend?"
I feel myself blushing a little bit more, and I wonder if Nicole has noticed. "What's with all the questions?" I ask her.
"I don't know," she says with a shrug. "When me and Kim were practicing our cheers today, she kept talking about you and Suzy. She said Suzy was your girlfriend and she made us go outside so she could let you play between her toes and give you organisms."
The laughter escapes from me in a sudden snort. "I promise you," I say, struggling to contain my giggles, "nobody was giving anybody any... organisms this afternoon. Suzy and I were just talking."
"But do you like her?"
"Sure. Don't you?"
Nicole grins sheepishly. "No, I mean do you really like her? Like do you wanna kiss her and stuff?"
"Let's just say I'd really like to get to know her better."
"Do you think she's pretty?"
I nod. "Very."
"Prettier than Kim?"
I laugh again. "Much."
Nicole gives me a coy smile. "Prettier than me?"
I rub her finger gently with the palm of my hand. "Nicole, sweetheart, I don't think there's a person in this world prettier than you."
Nicole's cheeks turn bright red and she giggles. I feel her body shift beneath me as she crosses her leg behind me.
"Uh, Nicole?"
Still grinning, she moves me towards her bare foot. She spreads her toes and slips me between them, wiggling them until I fit comfortably. Her sole is dirty from running around barefoot all day, and the faint smell of sweat lingers in the air.
"What are you doing?" I ask cautiously.
"I'm gonna give you a ride," Nicole announces. "Hang on!" I grab onto her toes as best I can and brace myself. She raises her leg into the air and extends it straight up. I peer down the length of her bare leg at the bed far below me.
Still lying on her back, Nicole grins up at me. She rotates her ankle, moving me in small circles through the air. Then, suddenly, she lets her leg fall. I let out a yelp when her foot smacks back down on the mattress, jarring me to my bones. She lets her foot bounce up and down a few times, then raises her leg again.
"Wheeee," she giggles, still watching me from below. Once again, her leg falls and strikes her bed. When the bouncing is over, she crosses her leg and smiles at the sight of me dangling from the end of her foot.
"Was that fun?" she asks. "Wanna go again?"
I shake my head no, still trying to catch my breath as her toes slowly grind together around me. Within seconds, despite my struggles, I feel an involuntary and totally inappropriate tightness in my groin. Oh, God... how many commandments are we about to break?
"Nicole," I say weakly. "Please put me down."
She just smiles, oblivious to my struggles. Her toes move up and down, rubbing against my tiny body through my clothes. I writhe in her grasp, desperate to contain my inevitable explosion. Every millimeter of my skin is tingling, my heart is pounding in my ears. Her toes wiggle slowly, mercilessly, and my idiot body betrays me. With a gasp and a shudder, I orgasm. The front of my jeans grows warm and wet, and I collapse in a limp heap.
Nicole is both confused and concerned when she plucks me from between her toes. She holds me in her cupped palm and pokes me gently with her finger. "Are you okay?" she asks me, alarmed by my sudden weakness, wondering if she somehow broke me.
I nod and lay my hand on her finger to reassure her. "I'm okay," I say in a trembling voice. "I just don't think we should play that game any more."
She makes a pouty face. "How come? What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," I tell her, smiling weakly. "Just an organism."
That night, I'm dozing fitfully when I hear Naomi talking on the phone in hushed whispers. I drag myself out of bed and stumble over to the window.
"You really think so?" she's saying, giggling. I can see her by the light of the TV, which flickers in silence. She's wearing her bathrobe, and her blonde hair is messy and tousled. She has a lit cigarette in her other hand.
"Oh, sometimes. Just little stuff." She kicks off her slipper and raises her foot so she can regard her toes. "He likes to play on my feet," she says. "He thinks they're pretty."
Oh, God. She's talking about me! To her mysterious boyfriend Benny!
"I know you do," she says in a teasing voice. "Sometimes, when I've got him between my toes, I pretend like he's you." Another giggle. "Benny, you naughty boy!"
This conversation is on the verge of making me physically ill, but I can't make myself turn away. I've got to know who this guy is and what Naomi is to him. It's not even about blackmail anymore. I've turned it over and over in my mind, and have come to realize that it's a no-win situation.
Let's say I tell Paul about Naomi's affair. Either one of two things will happen. He'll confront her and she'll deny it, and he'll believe her because I've seen how easily she manipulates him. Or he'll confront her and she'll tearfully confess and beg his forgiveness, and he'll forgive her. Either way, Naomi will take a lit cigarette to me.
Even if Paul could show enough backbone to threaten a divorce, that wouldn't fly. There's no way the GenetiTech people are going to let him and Naomi get a divorce with my custody hearing coming up next month. So they convince Paul to buck it up and act like nothing happened. Paul, reluctant to piss away GenetiTech's sweet deal, agrees. And Naomi takes a lit cigarette to me.
So let's say I confront Naomi with her affair and threaten to go to Paul with it? Assuming she doesn't just stomp the shit out of me right then and there, how long would it take her to reason it through like I did? How long until she realizes that telling Paul will accomplish nothing? Once she calls my bluff, it's pretty much lit cigarette time...
So like I said, it's not about blackmail anymore. Now it's just morbid curiosity, a desperate need to learn more about this stranger who now knows all the intimate details of my most embarrassing secrets.
"Sure, tomorrow would work," Naomi says. "It'll have to be in the afternoon, though. Cheryl's coming into the shop for a pedicure, and then we're going to lunch." She takes a drag on her cigarette. "Yeah, I think she wants to seduce poor Ray," she laughs.
Oh, God. That probably means Cheryl is going to come over tomorrow night. Just when I think things can't possibly get any worse...
"Okay, sweetie," Naomi says, sitting up. She slides her foot back into her slipper as she finishes her cigarette. "I love you, too." She makes kissing noises into the phone. "Okay. Good night." She turns off the portable and sets it down on the coffee table. Then, suddenly, she looks directly at me.
In a blind panic, I drop to the floor and scamper back to my green sponge bed. Did she see me? It was too dark, wasn't it? She couldn't have seen me standing there. She must have just been looking at the dollhouse. I run through this litany in my head, desperately trying to convince myself that I haven't drawn Naomi's attention to myself.
I hear her footsteps approaching. I lay there with my back to the window, praying silently that she'll just walk on by. I honestly don't think I can deal with her games right now.
The footsteps stop right outside my house, and I hear her grunt softly as she kneels. Without even looking, I know she's looking in my window, watching me lie here. My heart is pounding and my stomach feels like there's a jagged rock in it. Please just go away, I scream in my head. Please please please...
I hear some rustling, then the unmistakable sound of a lighter. A minute later, the stink of her cigarette fills the air. I lay there, desperately ignoring the smoke, the smell, the sound of her breathing, trying to forget that, at any moment, my house is going to slide away from the wall and her monstrous hand is going to reach in...
Every muscle in my body is stretched so taut I'm afraid I'm going to snap into a million pieces. I just can't bear the thought of rolling over and seeing her massive eye staring at me through the plastic frame of my window.
Please please please please please please...
Desperate to think of something else, anything else, I find myself remembering my conversation with Suzy today. I concentrate on the memory of her soft, warm skin and her gentle fingers. Her beautiful face, those incredible green eyes, that sexy smile... God, I want to be with her so badly... right now and forever. To feel her flesh pressed against mine, and to know that I am safe and loved... is it possible to feel that way about someone I've only known two weeks?
I'll see her tomorrow. I'll tell her all about Naomi's affair, and about Cheryl's impending visit, and she'll help me think of something. Everything will be all right...
After an eternity, Naomi finally stands up and walks away. I hear her footsteps grow fainter as she walks down the hall, disappearing altogether when she finally reaches her bedroom. For the next hour or so, I lie trembling in bed, exhausted beyond measure but too nervous to sleep.
Giantess World
Homunculus by Cayce