"Excuse me?" 

The coupé door opened and the face of the young train attendant appeared in the opening.  She quickly looked over the four passengers before continuing. 

"We are arriving in Moscow in twenty to twenty-five minutes."

The  four men cheered loudly, which made a concerned look to appear on the woman's face.

"Please, can you be a bit quiet?" she said when the shouting died down enough so that she could make herself heard. "Other passengers have been complaining, and I would want to ask you..."

"Ah, fuck them!" said Misha, waving his free hand at the attendant. "We are not that loud.  Besides, you said yourself that we are in Moscow soon.  I think they can take some noise until then!"

"But please, you are annoying the others." The woman tried, her voice starting to become desperate as the men cheered at Misha's words. "There has been several complaints and I really..."

"Sure, we will be quiet.  We will try, at least." Alexei smiled at her from his place by the window. "Tell them that we are just happy to be returning home."

"Speak for yourself!" said Oleg and sneered. "Why would we?  And Moscow is your damn city, not mine.  I am not going to be 'happy' for real for a long time."

"Don't worry." Alexei said to the attendant while flipping Oleg off in one smooth movement, without letting go of his bottle. "We will try."

The attendant nodded, clearly unsure if to believe him or not, when Misha reached out and touched the sleeve of her dark green uniform.

"Don't you want to take a drink?" he asked, smiling and trying to at the same time wink and raising his eyebrow in a seductive way.  While he failed at actually being seductive, it made the others laugh. "We still have some bottles.  Just enough to last us until the great capital."

The attendant frowned and blushed at the same time and removed her arm from Misha's reach. 

"Keep a hold on yourself, mister." She said before hastily retreating and closing the door behind her.

Everyone laughed and hit their bottles of cheap beer together with a clang.  Their supply of vodka ran out yesterday, and what they had now was what they had managed to scrounge up during a short stop.  Misha and Egor had returned panting and red from their excursion into the small city, barley avoiding being left behind.  The incident had caused a late train and a frustrated train staff, but it had been worth the bother to have something to drink now.     

The world on the other side of the window was bright and clear.  The sun was shining down from a clear blue sky adorned with fluffy white clouds.  The train was slowly moving towards the heart of Moscow, this titan of a city which in the past few years had flooded the surrounding areas like a great blob. Beyond the concrete walls separating the railway tracks from the city you could see the skyline of the city.  This far out on the edges of Moscow - rundown concrete apartment complexes, former towns or suburbs that had been assimilated by the ever growing city.  They were mixed with factories - some functioning but others long since defunct - storages and ancient garage compounds.   Beyond them and in the distance - massive high-rises, entire neighbourhoods consisting of them.  Some were being built and were surrounded by yellow cranes, others finished and some just abandoned in the middle of the process. 

As the train moved forward it passed many others.  There were long passenger trains, some going as far as to Vladivostok, China and North Korea in the far east, at least if the paper signs on the inside of the windows were to be believed.  Some had come back from the depths of the country and whose goal were the city.  They also met freight trains, which for a short while travelled on the same stretch as them.  They were massive in length, many carrying oil and fuel tanks to quench satisfy the thirst of the capital. 

Alexei drank from his bottle and sighed.  Despite the tasteless beer he felt good.  Sweaty from the warmth, of course (the air conditioning was defunct and the weather outside hot) and slightly tired from the long trip.  But three days in a small coupe was nothing, not when you had drink, bread, just-add-hot-water chicken soup and good company.  And even better - the fact that they were going home. 

Alexei leaned against the wall and looked out of the window.  The summer had just begun, and in a few weeks Moscow would turn into a giant, scorching hot oven, just as it did every year.  A year ago he had been thinking the same thing and the scenery outside of the train window had been very much the same.  But then he had been leaving his city behind, and the modern high-rise districts and old soviet suburbs had grown smaller and more distant instead of surrounding him as they were now.  Alexei guessed that he himself  had been quite different then - a scared nineteen year old leaving for army.  And now a whole year had passed.  He felt weird just thinking the thought.

Alexei was twenty now.  He was sinewy and strong, although perhaps thinner by the waist than he had been before.  His face had become less boyish as well, with the jaw and cheekbones becoming more defined.  The once long blond hair had been shaved away, but during the last couple of weeks before demobilization it had slowly started to grow back.  His eyes, however, had the same colour of deep blue as they had had before.  Now he was returning home, dressed in the simple green uniform and black boots of a private infantryman.  His old jeans, t-shirt and sneakers had not survived the year, but those losses he could live with.

"Almost home, eh?"

Alexei turned to Misha and nodded. 

"Yeah, almost home.  Feels very weird."

"Anyone going to be waiting for you?"

"I hope so.  I have no way of getting home otherwise."

Someone chuckled and Misha slowly raised his bottle.

"For you getting home then."

"For me getting home." Alexei answered and all four drank.

"And you?" said Misha and turned to Egor who sat - or rather tried to lie - next to him on the narrow strip of bench. "You got anyone waiting?"

Egor shook his head.

"Not that I know off."

"Seriously?"

"Pretty much.  Maybe my brother, I don't know."

"Not even your grandmother?" Misha tried to straighten out, but due to his length he managed to hit his head against the bed above him.

Egor waited for the swearing to subside with a light smirk on his lips.

"Probably not.  She's a bit too old to leave the apartment like that, at least that's how it was a year ago."

"Poor, lonely bastard you are." Said Oleg. "Let's hope that you get home as well.  For you and your old granny!"

It was a good a reason as any and they drank to it.  Despite the rather heavy drinking of the last few days, Alexei still felt comfortable.  He had felt a little sick during the night and in the morning, but not anymore.  He was returning home fairly sober. 

Home.  It still felt weird thinking about it.  Like most conscripts, he had been eagerly awaiting this.  Alexei had been making calendars, crossing out the days as they passed.  In the last month before the demob he had been making working hard on 'improving' his parade uniform, adding fancy epaulettes and white cords to it.  The last days of service had almost been agonizing.  To past the time Alexei and all the other demobs* in the company had been making fun of the freshly arrived conscripts, all according to army traditions.  But now he had left everything behind.  Crowded barracks, tiresome and boring work and military exercises in the mud.

 The train was starting to slow down.  The thumping of wagons against the rails was becoming slower and softer.  Through the closed coupé door Alexei could hear loud voices and people already moving their luggage into the corridor.  After such a long trip many were probably eager to get off the train. 

"I guess this is it." Misha looked out of the window with an almost sad expression on his round face. "End of the line for you guys."

"Yeah, seems so." Alexei said, thoughtfully staring out into the air. "End of the line."

He bent forward and pulled out his rucksack from under the bench.  With a grunt he lifted up and put it down next to him.  The little he brought with him had turned out to be surprisingly heavy. 

It was as if the light hearted mood had suddenly dissipated and been replaced wiht solemn silence.  The four sat and waited for the train - now incredibly slow - to stop.  Finally the wagon lightly rocked and came to a stop.  The voices in the corridor grew louder and mixed with steps and the sounds of suitcases hitting against walls and floor. 

"Are you sure that you won't come with us?" Alexei asked, looking from Misha to Oleg. "We could kill a few hours in Moscow before you have to leave."

Misha shook his head.

"Afraid not.  I don't think we would have time for that, and if we hit the city I will probably forget about the train." He chuckled. "I will sit here until we are kicked out, and the whole thing with getting to Leningradsky station we will have to deal with then.  But now I don't have the energy to drag my baggage around Moscow."

"Fair enough." Alexei rose to his feet and put the strap of the rucksack on his shoulder. "Oleg, you?"

"Just to see you off.  A bit of fresh air would be nice, as well as a cigarette.  Misha, you can come as well.  I don't think anyone will have the time to steal your shit if we go out for a few minutes."

"Sure, for a moment."

Oleg opened the door and stumbled outside, Alexei came close after.  The narrow corridor was filled with people loaded with suitcases and bags, everyone trying to get to the exit at the end of the wagon.  Alexei slowly shuffled forward, past the open coupés still filled with passengers, the large water heater in the left hand wall and to the doors.  Bright sunlight was streaming into the small compartment, almost blinding him.  Squinting, Alexei skipped the iron steps and jumped down on the platform.  He straightened himself up and looked around.  On the far end of the long and uneven concrete platform he could see the large  building of the Yaroslavsky station, with a pointy black roof and a high spire.  People were pouring out of the many wagons, being greeted by friends or relatives or just hurrying towards the station.  The day was hot and the air was filled with voices, clattering of suitcase wheels and the thumping of trains arriving or leaving.  Alexei took a deep breath and filled his lungs with the smoggy air.  It was Moscow alright. 

Alexei came up to Oleg who was already in the progress of lighting a cigarette. 

"Want one?"

"I promised to stop when I came home."

"Ah, I remember now.  Healthy you are." Oleg chuckled and put the cigarette between his lips.

They were joined by Egor and lastly by Misha, his bulking body filling up almost the entire door before jumping down onto the platform. 

"Was the attendant happy to see you leave?" Oleg asked and winked at him. "I bet she was."

"I told her not to worry and that I would be back in a moment."

They stood in a ring, Alexei and Egor with their bags on their shoulders, Misha with his hands in his pockets and Oleg smoking. 

"Well." Alexei decided to break the silence. "It was a long year, guys."

"Too long.  Got tired of ya." Misha gave him a hard slap on his shoulder, almost making him stumble. "Now get the hell out of here and find your folks."

"Goodbye to you too." Alexei gave him and then Oleg a hug.

"It was nice knowing you." Egor put his hands around the other's shoulders and pulled them closer. There was a great smile on his lips, revealing yellowish teeth.  His eyes - already naturally squinted due to his Tatar descent, were almost nothing more than thin lines in the sunlight. "Remember to write from Petersburg."

"You too.  You and Alex should come visit sometime.  Piter* is nice during the summer. You know, white nights and the bridges and shit like that."

"Maybe.  We will see."

Alexei adjusted the strap on his shoulder and raised his hand in farewell.  

"Until next time!  And hopefully not in the fucking army!"

He turned around and started walking, feeling slightly sad.  Egor came up to his side and they walked together in silence, both taking in the feeling of being back.  Alexei sighed and took another deep breath.

"Moscow." He said.

"You don't say."

"Been so long."

"That it has.  I just wonder how I am going to come home."

"Can't see your brother anywhere?"

Egor shook his head.

"Nope.  But that is what I expected.  I guess it is the subway for me.  What about your folks?"

"They promised to meet me, so let's hope that they keep their promise.  Feels a bit sad, you know.  The son is returning home from the army - now a real man - and his mom is not there to cry and hug him.  You know, the classic stuff."

"Yeah." Egor suddenly looked to Alexei and then nodded in the direction they were walking with a smile. "However, can those be yours?"

Alexei looked forward and felt how his heart jumped in his chest.  There they were.

His mother was the first to reach him, almost forcibly grabbing him by the neck and pulling him forward into a hug.  He was over a head taller than her, and it forced him to bend forward a little.  But it did not matter and he hugged her back.  There was more strands of grey in her hair, and a few more wrinkled around her eyes.  But it was she alright.   

"Oh, Alesha*." Larisa said quietly, reluctantly letting go of him. "I can barley believe it."

Alexei opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted when he felt a heavy hand grabbing his shoulder.

"Welcome home."

His father was smiling, his strong teeth showing under the brushy moustache and the ruddy face glistening in the sun.  He had had worse luck than his wife, and the hair on his head had become even thinner.  They hugged as well, and Alexei felt his shoulders almost being crushed in the process.  He let go and took a step backwards, almost overwhelmed with everything. 

Then he saw her.

"Katya." He managed to say, opening his arms to her. "Hi."

He felt her slender arms wrap around him, her skin smooth and warm against his.  Their foreheads almost collided, and for a moment he saw her eyes - beautiful blue and radiant under the light eye shadow.  Then the world disappeared, at least for a moment, when they kissed. 

"Welcome home, Lesha." She said when they released each other from the embrace, and her smile made his heart jump from happiness.

"Thanks."

It was the only thing he managed to say.  Without letting go of her hands he turned to his parents and bowed his head in some sort of awkward gesture acknowledging their presence.

"Thanks.  I..." he was almost stuttering, trying to find the right words. "Just.. thanks.  For meeting me, that is.  You have no idea how much I have missed you."

He looked at Katya again.

"So very much."

Dmitri chuckled and grabbed the rucksack from his shoulder.

"Come on." He said, ruffling Alexei's short hair and passing by him. "Let's not stand her all day, shall we?  I parked the car in a bad spot, don't want the GAI* to ruin everything."

"You drove here?" Alexei briefly looked over his shoulder at his dad before turning back to Katya. "Through fucking Moscow?"

"Alesha!"

"Sorry mom." He hastily said. "Bad habit, I guess."

"Well you better get rid of it.  You can't speak like some sort of thug, not at home."

"Yeah."

They started walking, through the crowd of stressed travellers heading towards and from the station building in the distance.  But Alexei did not care for them, even though someone bumped into him with a suitcase.  He did not care, and at that particular moment he did not really care for his parents either, although his mother kept saying something next to him. 

But for him there was only Katya. 

They were walking hand in hand and somewhere in his mind he realized how cliché it looked.  But did it really matter?  Much to his disappointment, she had put on her sunglasses and her beautiful eyes were hidden from him.  But still could not help himself from almost staring at her, stuck with a dumb smile on his face.  Her long black hair was flowing freely, strands of it lightly moving in a wind that had swept down over the platforms.  She was clad in a white tunic and blue jeans, tightly grasping her slender figure.  Katya looked at him and smiled, and the wonderful feeling in him only grew.  

Home at last. 

♣

Those who remembered the times of the Soviet Union said that you once could drive through the centre of Moscow and only having to stop at crossings and traffic lights, that you could drive through one side of the city to the other in no more than one pesky hour if you were lucky.  It was hard how to imagine those time now.  Twenty-four years since the fall of communism Moscow was a hellhole for drivers, especially on a late Friday afternoon as this one.  The street was congested as far as the eye could see.  The speed with which the cars moved had gone down to a crawl, and there was no sign of the situation becoming any better.  But too Alexei it did the same.

The air conditioner was hard at work, and the air inside the car was pleasantly cool.  The radio was playing some random channel, mixing pop music with loud advertisements.  This background noise, together with the humming of the engine and the cars outside, had a calming effect on Alexei.  He had stretched out as far as the back seat of the car allowed it and was now reclining against the soft leather of the seats.  Although slightly tired, he had as of yet no plans on drifting on to sleep.  Alexei felt obligated to hold Katya's hand as she was sitting next to him, looking at her and at the same time taking part in the general conversation.    

"Do you like the car?" asked his father from the driver's seat.

Alexei nodded.

"It is really nice.  Can't say I miss the old one, or it's air-condition."

"True.  It's Japanese - the conditioner and everything else.  I am really going to appreciate it during the summer.  They promise it to be very hot this year."

"I did hear something like that on the radio on the train."

"How was the weather in Irkutsk?" Alexei mother turned around in her front seat and looked at him.  She had been doing that for most of the trip, almost as to make sure that he would not disappear into thin air if she did not.  "I heard that it was unusually cold during the winter and spring.  Is that true?"

Alexei shrugged.

"The winter was cold, that I can say.  But the spring... can't say it was too bad."

"Thank God.  I worried through the entire winter that you would freeze.  There was several cases of frostbites in the army this year, they reported it on the news.  The boys did not get the right clothes for the winter..."

"It was okay.  I survived as you see, everything is in place." He said jokingly, at the same giving Katya's hand a discrete squeeze.

Alexei glanced at Katya and saw how she winked at him behind the glasses.  Neither of them said anything, why he was not sure.  But it felt as if nothing had to be said.  Right now it was enough just to feel her hand in his. 

"Really, it was not that bad.  Most of the field exercises were during the summer.  We did not exactly have to live outside in minus 30 Celsius.  Although we had this asshole of a colonel that wanted us to trek through the taiga over Christmas.  But luckily for us it did not really work out for him."

"Alesha, language!"

Alexei shook his head and chuckled.

"Sorry." He said looking up.

"You know how mothers are." Alexei's father said from the driver's seat and chuckled. "No matter how old you get they are always the same."

"Dmitri, what does age have to do with being able to speak in a cultural manner?   Without swearing every five seconds?"

"Come on, I haven't been swearing that much." Alexei said and leaned forward, resting his free hand on the seat in front of him. "Give me some slack."

"That is not an excuse." Larisa said sternly, but Alexei was quite sure that she was not as dead-serious as she could be. 

"You should let him be." For the first in a while Katya made her wonderfully soft voice heard. "It is only a matter of time.  He will get civilized soon enough.  Trust me, I will make sure of it."

"Then we put our trust in you." Dmitri chuckled. "Talking about being civilized - what are you going to do now?"

"But he just came back!  Can't we take it at home, when he has rested a little?" Larisa exclaimed.

"What?  It is not as if I am kicking him out of the car or something.  I am just asking a question."

Alexei shrugged.

"I don't know.  I have not really thought about it."

"Well, there is no hurry." Dmitri said. "Not yet anyway.  Just joking, don't worry." He quickly added after a few seconds.

"Do you want to continue your studies?" Larisa asked.

Alexei grimaced.

"I don't know.  It feels as if I have forgotten everything."

"I think that you must go back to the university.  I knew this would happen when you were drafted, but you have to complete your education."

"I know."

The song that had been playing on the radio ended and was instead replaced with the tune which preceded the news.

"It must be about what happened earlier today." Said Dmitri, turning up the volume.

"What exactly?" Alexei sat back and reclined against the seat.

"They reported on the news about an explosion on the  city outskirts today." His mother said, her voice becoming solemn. "We heard it in the car when we came to the station.  Seems that it was some pipe that burst, nobody is quite sure.  It's horrible."

"Why?  Many casualties?"

"They said so.  It happened right in an apartment complex."

"Oh."

That was everything that he could think up to say, but he was spared the need to think something up.  The announcers voice calm voice replaced the silence.

"And now for a short update on the incident in Mytishchi this morning.  Today at approximately ten in the morning a explosion occurred in the city of Mytishchi.  Authorities believe that this is due to a gas pipe bursting and the gas being ignited.  As of now there is little information of what exactly happened.  According to early reports at least one house has been damaged.  As of now there are no information if there are casualties, but emergency services are on the spot to assert the damage.  The affected area has been closed off by the police.  More information will come as the story develops.  Now over to..."

"Horrible." Larisa said. "Just think of it."

"It does sound bad." Dmitri concurred. "Let's hope that no one came to harm."

"One can always hope."

Suddenly the world shook.  Not much, only enough to have the car jump on its suspensions.  The movement was gone almost as quickly as it came, but there was no doubt about if it happened. 

"What the hell was that?"

Alexei looked out of the window.  They were still stuck at a congested crossing, surrounded by cars in all directions.  Nothing out of the ordinary, in other words.  Then he heard the roar of engines, louder and deeper than those of the cars.  Trying to find the source of the sound he looked up.  Above the roofs of the surrounding houses he see three helicopters, quickly flying overhead.  The rumble grew of their engines quickly grew louder but started to fade just as quickly.  The helicopters soon disappeared behind a skyscraper in the distance, but it did not make Alexei feel any better.

"What was it?" his mother asked.

"Crocodiles." He answered, still looking to the skies. "Mi-24's."

"Crocodiles?"

Alexei looked back at her.

"Military, twin seated gunship.  They are called Crocodiles because of the paintjob."

"Military?" He felt Katya's hand around his. "Why?"

"I have no idea."

"Look!"

Everyone looked in the direction Dmitri was pointing, and Alexei felt an unpleasant knot forming in his belly.  A pillar of dark smoke was rising from behind the skyscraper over which the helicopters had flown.  The world shook again, and this time the jolt made the car almost jump into the air. 

"What the fuck is happening?"

Alexei opened the door and took a step outside, completely disregarding his mothers attempts to have him stay.  The road had come to a complete standstill.  More and more people were getting out of their cars.  Some were already busy filming the smoke pillar with their phones.  Alexei's phone was tucked away in his baggage, and he did not feel any urge to go get it.  He stood with arms crossed and just watched. 

"It looks bad." Dmitri also stepped out of the car, soon joined by Larisa and Katya. "Could it be another leak?"

"Looks like something bigger." Alexei answered. "Maybe a fuel depot exploded?"

"Could be.  But how?"

The ground shook again.  Alexei almost lost balance and had to grab a hold of the cars roof.  Around he heard people swearing and yelling.  When he straightened out again he froze in position, his hand still one the car's roof.  His muscles refused to function and he could just stand there, staring.

"Holy shit."

That was everything he could say as the screaming around him grew louder.