Report 3: South Hanenrow University, Interview 1: Professor Ellen Taggert

            I completed my first round of interviews today with the second primary subject of my study after driving six hours out to South Hanenrow University, a small private liberal arts college of just over 3,500 students.  Highly prestigious with only a 6% entrance rate for applicants, the job opportunities and connections students reportedly make after graduation makes it an extremely desirous destination post-high school.  It’s a surprising statistic, to be sure, for such a young school, as it opened just seven years ago.  The university is among the first in the nation to integrate The Shrink Act into its disciplinary system, and as I’ve been told, has been receiving several generous monetary gifts from some of the executives at Techilogic in order to foster their growth more speedily.

            Some background is warranted for context for when I once again present the conversation in its unedited format.  As with my previous case, this is meant to be a situation representative of a larger whole, and I am assured that this particular one is a very common scenario at the college.  Ellen Taggert is a history professor and head of her department at the university.  At 39 years of age, she’s worked there for its entire run, and has five years’ experience prior to that.  Of course, she has another job too, which will be expanded on in the interview.  Currently, she is the caretaker for twelve students serving shrunken sentences at the school, including the following two, who will be the focus of this interview: 21-year-old Dominic Graham, a defensive lineman for the university football team who was placed on academic probation after flunking half his classes last semester, and 20-year-old Shelby Bill, president of the debate team who was placed on a disciplinary probation after drunkenly stumbling into the university dean’s front lawn and defecating into a bush.

            Professor Taggert’s office is a sizeable one on the top floor of the English and social studies wing, and contains a conference table as well as three ceiling-high book shelves.  The woman herself wore sharp glasses, a black sweater, had her dark hair tied back in a tight bun, and held herself in what could only be described as an stance of cool confidence.

TC: Thank you for agreeing to speak with me, Professor.

Ellen: Pleasure’s all mine.  And sorry.  Remind me of your name again?

TC: Howard Taylor, analyst from the Techilogic Corporation’s human relations research division.

Ellen: That’s right.  Good to meet you in person.  Now, how will this work?

TC: I’ve just got some questions to ask about your experience participating in the system put in place by The Shrink Act, if that’s all right.

Ellen: Ready when you are.

TC: First, just tell me about your role here at the university.  You’re a professor of history and head of the department, though I gather that’s not the only hat you wear?

Ellen: That’s true.  I’m also a disciplinary officer with the dean’s office and campus security.

TC: How long has that been the case?

Ellen: For about eight months, since The Shrink Act went into effect.

TC: Interesting.  Why was that?

Ellen: I heard they were putting the system in place here, and was curious about it as a deterrent to wrongful behavior and generally improving the campus decorum.  I wanted to help in any way I could.  I was told I made an impressive candidate and was exactly what they were looking for in the new officers.

TC: That leads into my next question.  Describe your role as a disciplinary officer.

Ellen: When students are placed under academic or disciplinary probation, they’re in line for expulsion from the school.  As I’m sure you know, placement in this university is highly coveted, and most will do just about anything to ensure they stay enrolled.  Through a series of interviews, staff recommendations, community service, and finally, requisite time spent with a disciplinary officer, they can secure their place in the school again.

TC: By requisite time spent with a disciplinary officer, you mean time spent while shrunken?

Ellen: That’s correct.

TC: So, you supervise them while they’re reduced in size?

Ellen: Yes.  And then some.  Right now, two of the students I’m overseeing are junior Dominic Graham and sophomore Shelby Bill.  As part of their reapplication process, they each have to spend sixty hours shrunken under my supervision.  It can be spread out however it has to be to fit their schedules, though it is to their benefit to follow my routine as rigidly as possible.  I have to decide whether or not to recommend they return to regular enrollment at the end of it, after all.

TC: I see.  And tell me, how is their time spent with you?

Ellen: It mostly depends on the day and my mood.  I like to discipline the students in ways that will benefit them in the future for the betterment of their learning and their roles as citizens.  After all, this system is in place to improve them, not just punish them to the point of meaninglessness.

TC: Of course.  So, give me a for instance.  How might Dominic be disciplined?

Ellen: (laughs) Well, you know Dominic is a defensive lineman for the university football team, yes?  He’s a sturdy young man.

TC: Yes, I’ve read some of his stats for the school.

Ellen: Well, in his case, I like to give him a little extra practice.  So sometimes what I’ll do is put him down to, oh, say two inches?  Then I’ll usually just take one of my shoes off and let him practice pile-driving my toe.  Or rather, my toe pile-drives him.  I give him plenty of warning, of course, and there’s no sense in anyone getting hurt.  I’m nice about it.

TC: Does he ever win?

Ellen: (laughs) Well, maybe I’m not that nice.

TC: Would you say this has helped him?

Ellen: Oh, by leaps and bounds.

TC: Really.  How does he take it in general?

Ellen: When he first came in, he was very surly.  I think he saw himself as very much above it all, given how important he is to the football team, and how much money his family comes from, but I swiftly reminded him what was at stake if he didn’t fly right.  He’s now a much pleasanter person to be around, and actually pretty sharp when he puts a half amount of effort into things.  If he’s got the class space for it, I’d appreciate seeing him in a desk at some point during my lectures.  It took a little work, but I whipped him into shape.

TC: How so?  Besides the extra practice.

Ellen: Once he’s tuckered out by the tackling, he’ll usually just flop over, and then I lay my toes on top of him so he can massage them a little.  I’m gentle with him, of course.

TC: How does that go?

Ellen: It’s not too difficult, but he had a big problem with it when we started.  Complaining about the weight and smell, things like that, even though I take care to wash my feet thoroughly before I plan on using them as tools.  I don’t mean to be cruel, after all.

TC: Of course not.

Ellen: So then I gave him the same option, except I dropped him inside a stocking first before putting it on myself.  And then I let him know that if he didn’t get to work, he would soon find himself sending out community college applications.  He changed his tune after that, and actually carried out the rest of that session still inside the stocking without complaint.  It was marvelous progress.

TC: I imagine so.

Ellen: He’s a good boy now.  He does what he’s told, when he’s told.  I daresay he’s more polite now, too.  He even says hello to me in the hallways of the school if he sees me, despite what I assume to be embarrassment over our interactions.  I can’t say I blame him entirely for that.

TC: Interesting.  And tell me, out of curiosity, does that improved behavior of his reflect in your disciplinary sessions, in terms of what activities he ends up involved in?

Ellen: Oh, of course.  I’m not a taskmaster.  I think that’s part of why I’ve had such a high success rate with my students on shrunken probation during this first trial on the program.  I make sure to reward good behavior in kind with less rigorous treatment.

TC: Such as?

Ellen: Well, in Dominic’s case, I tend to make him not quite as small now, maybe just a bit under twelve inches?  And he gets to participate in a few less taxing activities, such as cleaning my shoes or picking up trash in the hallway.  I doubt he minds it much at this point, and I’ll continue to let him do so as long as his grades and attitude stay up.

TC: When do you predict his time will be up?

Ellen: He’s on probation for another month, by which point he should have his hours completed so I can write my recommendation.  I do believe if he keeps this up, he’ll be getting a very positive one.

TC: That’s good to hear.  And what about Shelby?

Ellen: Ah.  Yes, Shelby.  I’m afraid I can’t quite say things are looking as optimistic for her.

TC: That’s unfortunate.  Why would that be?

Ellen: She’s been far less willing to adapt to the situation like her similarly positioned peer.  She’s president of the debate team, and she is not shy about putting her perceived talents to frequent use.

TC: What does her disciplinary time consist of?

Ellen: I admit, I’ve done my best to try and help her come to terms with the reality of her position in this school, and have had to show her a little more tough love than Dominic due to her tendency to object.  Sometimes I’ll have her comb my hair from my shoulder, or sometimes I’ll wear her in my heel for an hour.  Sometimes I just hold onto her and let her wrestle my fingers, and maybe turn my hands around a bit while she’s in them.  Nothing savage, but I do play a little rough when I’m not in the mood to listen to her diatribes.  Plus, it’s a bit of a de-stressor for me.

TC: Have you seen a change of any kind in Shelby?

Ellen: I have, yes.  I don’t want to completely shortchange her.  She’s at the point now where I don’t have to repeat myself when giving instructions, and she generally tries less to debate me on a choice I’ve made for her, though that could have something to do with the fact that more and more I’ve given her tasks that make it more difficult for her to carry on a regular conversation with me.  After all, I have things to get done.

TC: I see.  So you’re able to complete work during these sessions too?

Ellen: Absolutely.  I’m a professor, after all.  Never a dull moment.  It actually makes my life easier if they can just listen to my directions the first time I give them so I can go back to work, and I’m sure they prefer not being bothered either.  Like you’ve probably gathered, my measures are simple and easy to follow for almost anyone.

TC: I have.  What, specifically, would you say you require of students under probation?

Ellen: It’s nothing unreasonable.  After all, no one is forced to be here; they can feel free to march right off the school premises and find themselves a manual labor position if my methods don’t suit them.  All I ask in my session is simple compliance, a basic understanding of decent politeness, and occasionally a conversation on their wrongdoings.  This isn’t a counseling session, of course, and it’s not a required part of my job to vocally gauge their progress, but I think hearing them talk one way or another about their previous ills is always a good measure of how far they’ve come.

TC: How would you say that’s worked, then, with regard to Dominic and Shelby?

Ellen: With Dominic, it’s very positive.  I’ve probably gone a into lecture territory sometimes with him, getting on his case about studying and putting academics before football from now on.  It’s actually sinking in, though.  He’s come by my office sometimes just to tell me that he received a positive grade on a test or essay.  That always makes me glad, and reminds me that what I do is for such a greater good.

TC: And with Shelby?

Ellen: Well, this is really why I think her review won’t be so positive.  Like I said, she listens more frequently, and her behavior has improved, but my discussions with her suggest otherwise.  This is really where we begin to disagree.  As you probably know, she was placed on probation for her illegal weekend escapades.  So, just the other day, I made her an inch and was having her polish one of my rings I was wearing at the time, and asked her if she’d been avoiding drinking.  Do you know what she said back?

TC: What?

Ellen: She said she wouldn’t have remembered even if she did, so what was the point in asking?  Didn’t even look up at me in the eyes to say it.  Can you believe that?

TC: Certainly a debater’s fearlessness.

Ellen: Perhaps, but it just won’t do in this office, and not when I’m her caretaker and in charge of whether or not she returns to this institution.  I assure you, she was made to regret that little comment immediately afterward.

TC: Is it your prediction that she ends up expelled?

Ellen: Well, that’ll depend entirely on her.  So far, none of the students I’ve worked with were expelled, because they improved to my satisfaction.  I can see enough potential in Shelby that I foresee myself recommending she take another semester under shrunken probation.  I think more time under my tutelage will do her good.  Plus, it’ll help keep me from getting callouses on my heels.

TC: That’s good, at least.  That the program allows for second chances, I mean.

Ellen: Well, what do you think we’re running here?  A prison? (laughs)

TC: That about wraps up my questions.  I believe you said the two students will be here soon?

Ellen: Yes, they will.  They’re both serving a session at three, so we’ve got a couple minutes yet.

TC: You’re all right with having the interview while the session takes place?

Ellen: Oh, of course.  I know your study depends on it.

TC: This might sound like an odd request, but I hope it’ll be possible to actually converse with them, depending on what they’re doing?

Ellen: (laughs) Don’t worry.  I won’t put anyone in a shoe.

TC: Thank you.

Ellen: At least not until after you’ve left.