Special Memo to Mr. Howard Taylor, Research Analyst in Human Relations Dpt. - Second Notice

To: Howard Taylor

From: Richard Philbin

Re: Second Notice on “Shrink Act Files” Project

            I’m going to be honest with you now, Taylor, and as forthcoming as possible, a courtesy I can’t say you’ve ever extended me or your other superiors.  But for the sake of aiding in your speedy removal from any position of remote authority, I have resolved to be civil.

            Before, it was a professional matter.  You were making poor choices left and right and refusing to stand behind a company that’s been so good to you for many years.  Your business practices, if they could be charitably called that, were a joke and undoubtedly an insult to most that encountered you.  That was then, though.  That was before this latest atrocity of yours and this entire train wreck of a sociological study nightmare you’ve been insisting on seeing through to its fiery end.

            Now, though, not just as an executive of Interdepartmental Affairs and a figure of Techilogic, but as a responsible citizen of the United States of America, I refuse to sit idly by any longer while you paint lies to your liking and vomit up yellow journalism by the packet as some vile excuse for soft science.  This has gone on far enough.

            I saw you spoke to the Lindon family, and at that point, I assumed you’d started seeing the error of your ways and the need for the most vital voices to be heard, rather than just your beloved criminals and hardworking caretakers framed in the most negative light you can concoct for them.  I thought that by speaking to their family, you might be convinced at long last of just how wrong you are and what a pointless losing battle it is you’ve been flailing to stay in time and time again.  Corey Lindon’s crime is being penalized in a way that ensures the healthiest possible rehabilitation for all involved, and we can’t even see all the benefits yet.  He’s not being left to rot in a cell or left as a liability to escape and run someone else down with his car.  He’s being made into a better person as we speak, and if you couldn’t see that, then there truly is no hope for you left.  I know I can’t speak directly from whatever drivel you coughed up in that particular account of your “study,” as you rather suspiciously haven’t made the contents available yet, but if I were a betting man, I wouldn’t put very much on you speaking favorably of such an upstanding American family.  And for that, I cannot allow you to slip by, but that’s not even the half of it.

            No, where you’ve truly taken off too large a bite of the apple and ensured your departure from this corporation is in Cambralart Financials.  Apparently you weren’t contented before with tarring and feathering innocent families just trying to adjust to difficult circumstances.  Now, apparently, you feel the need to do the same to Techilogic’s own sister corporations, and to its highest and most respect professionals across the nation, no less.

            I admit I could hardly hold back when I heard about the conversation you had with Tania Beakman, and I was not alone.  Her unflinching support for the management, specifically, of our department’s fiscal matters made the gross invasion all the worse, and we’re just lucky she’s not going to be acting in any additional ways beyond informing all of us of your conversation.  I’d say you’re lucky she’s not pressing charges, considering she had to have a security guard escort you from the building.  I’m more bitterly ashamed than ever to have to ascribe your name alongside Techilogic’s.  It was unbelievable to me in every conceivable way that you would attack her with the kinds of blatant accusations I’m told you did, and yet still believable in its own sick right because it’s you we’re talking about and not, say, a reasonable person.  One cannot begin to fathom your twisted logic for such a backstabbing, but then again, one cannot begin to fathom most of whatever it is you call a career, so I suppose you’re consistent at least.

            You won’t get away with this.  Not this time.  You’ve scoffed in the faces of your superiors like the high-and-mighty flaunter of established order that you are for all these years, staying just enough below the radar that you give yourself license to do whatever you want, but it ends today.  You’ve finally made enough mistakes that not even your persuasive speaking skills are going to get you out of this.

            I am no longer in a minority discussing this.  A number of people who will decide if you are not only still employed but still capable of employment anywhere in the nation are currently in talks, and let’s just say they aren’t looking positive as far as the continuation of your disgusting charade is concerned.  It might save you some time to start packing up some of your belongings now.

            I’ve got you now, Taylor.

Signed, Richard Philbin

Junior Executive of Interdepartmental Affairs