It gets really boring inside of a stomach. See, the problem is that there isn’t much to do. So, Nick was forced to wait, the low grumbling of the girl’s body, and the slow, rhythmic beating of her heart, the only things to keep him company. 

            “Ugh,” Nick said as he once again slumped against the smooth, yet slimy, walls of the organ. “How long is this supposed to take, anyway?” No one answered. “Not even a guess?” he asked the darkness. Still no response. “A general idea? Hours, months, days, what?” Nothing. “How about a random unit of time? Just shout something out.” The silence was almost defining. “Well fine then!” Nick said, annoyed at the stuck up attitude of the emptiness. Who did it think it was, not answering him? What, did it think it was better than him? Because it wasn’t!

            Nick stretched, settling back into a relatively comfortable position. “Screw it,” he moaned as he closed his eyes. “I’m taking a nap.”

            “So Amy, did you do anything fun this weekend?” Clair asked.

            “No, not really,” Amy replied.

            Clair snickered. “Well I heard something about you.”

            “What?”

            “Something about this weekend.” Amy shrugged, genuinely not knowing what the other meant. Clair continued. “Something about a party. And about a boy.”

            “Oh, a boy?” Amy said, playing along with the other girl’s mad ramblings. “Was he cute?”   

            “I guess he was to you. People are saying you played five minutes in heaven.”

            Amy leaned closer to the girl, feigning excitement. “Really? Who was it with? Someone I like? Was it Scott Johnson?”

            “No, it wasn’t Scott. Much better looking than Scott.”

            “Hmm. I just don’t remember. Was I drunk?”

            “Drunk? I heard that you were sober, and that you really wanted to do it to.”

            Amy turned from the girl, resting her head on her fist, pretending to loose herself in thought. “Someone I would willingly play five minutes in heaven with? Nope, can’t think of anyone.”

            “Fine, I’ll describe him to you.” Clair could barely contain her smile now. “He’s not very tall, but I heard he’s big in other places.”

            Amy tried to suppress a laugh, and failed miserably. “Good start.”

            “He’s a great kisser, although he has to take a break every so often to blow his nose.”

            “Sexy.”

            Clair nodded. “You know him yet?” Amy shook her head. “Neil…” She let the tension build. “Pickleman.”

            Amy couldn’t stop herself from bursting out in laughter. She let her head drop to the table, giggling uncontrollably.

            Neil Pickleman was the very definition of an unattractive person. Standing at a respectable 5’4, with a face that had more craters than the surface of a rednecks lawn after he finds his stash of grenades, and a potbelly that looked like it consumed enough pizza to feed an African colony, Neil practically screamed sexy.

            His fashion sense was worse than that of a ninety-year-old lady who just found out what a pimp looked like and thought it was “totally dope.” His hair had more grease in it than the entire cast of jersey boys. The only difference being that, instead of being the product of many hours work, Neil’s hair came from a lack of showering for a few months. Or years. You never can tell with a person like that.

            It is rumored by those who play Magic the gathering, that his ass has the power to clear an entire comic book convention with its mighty wind abilities. He has a world at war account with the username, Pussydestroyer92. His ability to clog a toilet is legendary, matched by none other. He announces his intent of going to the restroom by proudly proclaiming, “I go to drop the brown atomic bomb. Lord have mercy on my target.” He had good reason for saying this. His turds of doom have been the lone cause of 27 different janitors quitting their jobs after seeing the destructive power of his rear end.

            “So Amy,” Clair continued after the girl had mostly contained herself. “How was he? Was he as big as they say he is?”

            “I don’t know, I couldn’t lift up the rolls of fat.”

            “Well how did his tongue taste? You gave it a good sucking right?” Amy didn’t respond this time. Instead, she threw a hand over her mouth, still laughing uncontrollably, but now with a rather unsavory picture in her mind. “Did you play with his boobs? I heard his sweat makes them nice and slippery.”

            “Please…” Amy said through a fit of laughter that was bordering on snorts.

            “I assume you didn’t let him do anything serious.” Clair leaned in closer so that she was only a couple inches away from the girl. “I only say that because you’re walking fine.”

            Amy through her head back, her laughter now mixed with gags as pictures of Neil penetrated her mind. “Hey baby,” she could hear him say, spit flying out of his imaginary mouth with each syllable. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentile. At first.”

            Finally Amy’s fit of laughter came to an impressive crescendo as she imagining the beautiful image of Neil on top of her saying; “They don’t call me the PussyDestroyer for nothing.” She felt a large sum of vomit forcing itself back up her thought, but her brain was too filled with pictures of Neil’s naked body for her to care.

            “Hey!” Nick shouted up as he slammed his fist into the girl’s stomach walls. “I’m trying to sleep down here!” At first the movements of the giant were nice, soothing and such, but now she was jerking around constantly. And there was the most obnoxious noise reverberating around his fleshy prison. Was it so much to ask for a little quite as he was digested?

            Then everything went quit for a few seconds. Nick nodded his head, slumping back against the pulsating walls. “Finally.”

            Right as he closed his eyes, the stomach jerked in a way it had never done before, sending his small body flying into the air, his face slamming against the far wall.

            “Oh what the hell…” he said, before the stomach churned again, sending him spinning into a half digested, but still hard, bit of candy. He also hit this face first. “Will you just stop!?”

            But it didn’t. The walls around him continued to pulsate. With one final spasm, they collapsed in on the stomach, squeezing its contents together. A tiny hole opened up in the sealing, and the small fly was sent rocketing through it, along with the rest of Amy’s lunch.

            Nick gasped as his eyes were once again exposed to the sensation of light. “Its…” Nick tried to find the words to describe the freedom that was only a few inches away.

            But, before he could think of something clever, the light was blocked off. Amy was finally able to push away the thoughts of Neil, and his massive, sweaty, and oh so sexy member long enough to regain control of her gag reflex.

            “Oh poor Amy,” Clair said as she realized what happened. Tenderly she held Amy’s head, turning it to her. “Just close your eyes, think of Neil, and swallow.”

            If Amy could speak, she would have given a pleasant “Fuck you,” but sadly she was not in a position to do so. Instead, she gathered herself, tilted he head back, accidently let another image of Neil enter her dirty mind, and swallowed.

            Nick moaned as he slid back down the girl’s esophagus. “Well, what did I really expect?”