I sat there, withdrawn, barely even aware of everything around me. My feelings were all over the place. I couldn’t think straight. I just knew one thing. I was depressed. Not because I got kicked out. I mean, that sucks but it really didn’t surprise me as much as it should have. No, my thoughts were all on Kari. She really hasn’t been present in the story so far but trust me when I say this: I loved that girl. She was everything I could ask for. I think I knew though… I think I knew deep down this was going to happen at some point. I think I realized that when she nearly crushed me. I just didn’t want to believe it. I wanted one of those movie-style situations where love wins out and even if I ended up totally hated by everyone I’d at least still have her. Losing that…hurt.

You know, all this talk about my break-up is kind of making me think of when I started going out with Kari. If you want, can I talk about it? Thinking back to these few days still kind of stings so I’d rather talk about some positive things.

Meh, I’ll tell the story anyway. What’re you going to do, stop me?

Anyway, I guess it all started back when I first started going to college. I was a (slightly younger) youngster who’d just graduated High School. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, what my plans were, or even what my major would be. I had a resounding one friend come to the same college I did and even she was more of an acquaintance than anything.

I found a cozy place in one of the school’s recreational buildings where a lot of the geekier people congregated and found a place to situate myself with a laptop. Thanks to my one friend I had with me, who was considerably more outgoing than I was, I ended up making a handful of friends and beginning to enjoy college life a bit. That area became my main hangout spot for my entire time there.

Things pretty much stayed like that for a semester. Then I met her.

The first time I saw Kari she was seated across the room, hanging around a girl I kind of sort of knew. At first I thought nothing of it. In fact I’m pretty sure my only thought was: “Oh, she’s kinda cute.” And left it at that.

Of course with a new semester comes new classes and it was in my new film appreciation course that I met her again. The room was full of people I didn’t particularly know so I sat myself near the front corner and leaned against the wall. As people poured into the room I spotted her again. She seated herself two rows back with her friends and class went on as usual. Like before I thought nothing special of it. My focus was actually more on the course than anything. This class was what lead me to deciding on a film major.

A month passed and things stayed like that. Then I received an invitation from a friend of mine to go to a Lock-In, basically a sleepover hosted by a club where people could goof off and stay up all night. I went ahead and agreed and sure enough, Kari was there too.

At first it was nothing special, just a bunch of people goofing around and me wandering around on my own. Around midnight I was going to head to my blankets and crash when I bumped into a group of seven people. In it were two of my friends, two people I didn’t know, two people I barely knew, and Kari. Once they saw me my friends urged me to join them in something called King’s Game. Basically adult truth or dare without the truth. I agreed and it quickly turned into a really fun time. As it got later and later we got stupider and stupider. Just to name a few things we did: a pillow fight, a human pyramid, improv comedy sketches, awkward lap dances, and much more.

I don’t know when but at some point during the game I began to take special note of Kari. She seemed really shy and reserved, much like the rest of us, but as we did stupider and stupider things we all opened up and bonded. I was so tired I can’t even remember much of what we said or did, I just knew she seemed like such a great girl and…yeah, I started crushing on her right about then. We had a really good time and when the party began to die down we all passed out all over the place.

From that day forward I had more close friends at school. That night of fun made us all something of a group and we began to hang out more. In my class I ended up switching seats to hang out with them and in my free time we lounged together between classes. College had officially become great.

There was just one little hiccup to all this. Kari had a boyfriend.

Once I learned that I honestly should’ve just dropped it, but I didn’t. As we became closer friends my feelings for her only grew stronger. But I wasn’t going to go and be that kind of jackass who takes someone else’s girl, especially when she showed no interest. It was just something I was going to live with until I found someone else.

That continued for a year. Over the course of that year Kristen and Jaz ended up transferring to my school since I wouldn’t shut up about how much I loved it and we all became a nice group. It made things even better there; I loved being at school more than being anywhere else because it meant hanging out with my friends. But…not everything was good. I was also dealing with a lot of stress. Why? Maria.

If you forgot let me refresh your memory. Maria was a shrunken girl my Mom hired to help around the house and circumstances…led to Mom accidentally crushing her. That in itself was bad enough, scarring Mom to the point she stayed away from shrunken people like the plague. But it got worse. We had investigators regularly coming by. Press eager to get our opinions on the incident. And worst of all: grieving family members. It took its toll on the both of us but we both put on strong faces and tried to move on. None of my friends even had a clue what was going on, I always had a smile on when I saw them. They had no clue that I was dealing with so much and I didn’t want them to worry so I said nothing.

Then the next Lock-In happened. It went pretty much the same as the first one, though now we all knew full well what to expect and how crazy things would get. We all also brought blankets and sleeping bags for comfy sleeping. Around 10 we started another round of King’s Game, every bit as crazy and silly as the last one.

By around two A.M. exhaustion gave me the brilliant idea of everyone working together to make a pillow fort for when we all inevitably passed out. They were all more than on board with it and we quickly ramshackled a terrible fort mainly consisting of blankets thrown over stacked chairs resulting in this shaggy tent-like thing. But we loved it. It reminded us all of the kinds of things we did as kids and it was a lot of fun. With that done we went back to King’s Game.

I can’t remember a lot about what we did during the game but I know I stripped. My reasoning was someone said I wouldn’t do it and I did it to spite them. Later I’d get lectured for it but oh well. It was another fun night.

When it came time for us to finally sleep we all crashed in the blanket fort for four or five hours before people started needing to clear out. One by one everyone who was there began to leave, taking their things with them. This included people who helped make the fort. As they left they took their blankets and the fort grew smaller and smaller as more and more woke up. By the end it was just a single blanket spread over a few chairs covering two people: Me and Kari.

We kept sleeping despite people trying to wake us up. Eventually they just gave up and left us be. Though everyone still talked right next to us, rather loudly I might add. Their chatter woke me up but I refused to move and properly get up. I noticed Kari did the same thing and we exchanged a grumpy look with each other as we awaited our friends to shut up so we can sleep again.

Once they’d left I sighed, “Thank God. Thought they’d never shut up.”

“Mmhm…” She grunted in agreement.

Any other time that would’ve been it. I would’ve fell asleep and that would be the end of that. But I didn’t.

“…Though…I wouldn’t trade them for anything.” Kari turned over and gave me a curious look. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I just kept going. “I…really don’t say it enough. But you guys mean the world to me. If I didn’t have you all I’d have lost my mind a long time ago.”

She stared at me and I felt taken aback a little. She never looked at me so directly before. It felt…different from our usual, casual interactions. She didn’t even say a word; her eyes just showed she was paying attention.

“You wouldn’t know it but things have been rough lately…if it weren’t for you guys I…I don’t even know what I’d do. I…”

“What’s going on?”

I was all too eager to answer. It came coming out all at once. I wasn’t overly emotional or anything. It was just me venting out every concern I’d had and all the problems I was facing. She was really surprised by it all but she sat there, silently taking it all in and commenting every once in a while if I got too self-derisive about it. She learned about my home situation. How I constantly put on a strong face for everyone else without actually sitting down and talking my problems out with anyone. I can’t remember exactly how it all came out but she learned more about me than almost anyone else ever had in that conversation. At some point it stopped being about just me too. Without even realizing it I was listening to Kari talk about her problems. Her concerns with a broken family, a friend she felt she was losing, her fear of the future. Much like she did for me I sat there listening, only piping in with words to comfort her.

We talked like that for hours. About everything. What was left of our pitiful blanket fort just seemed to be our own world where it was just us. People came in and out all the time but we didn’t so much as notice them. We just kept talking. I don’t know what possessed us. We were both drop dead exhausted from staying up all night yet something motivated us to just sit there and talk for hours on end when we usually talked for maybe ten or twenty minutes at most. For all the time we hung out this was the first time it felt like we really talked. We learned things about each other no one would’ve ever guessed but we took it all in stride.

I can’t remember much of what she said, but there was one line she said that really stuck with me. Once I finished explaining how I tried to be strong and do all this for my friends and family she just gave me an amazed look and said “You’re a good kid.” I don’t know why, but it’s what I remember the most out of all she said.

Similarly she went on about how she felt inferior and less-loved than her siblings because her parents had divorced and her birthmother was overly critical of her. She talked about how she was torn about it. I stared at her and without hesitation told her flat out “You’re amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even if you don’t think your Mom is happy you’re around I’m happy you are.” It was the closest I ever came to confessing my feelings for her.

It could’ve gone on forever, but eventually it came time for everyone to have to vacate the place. Our friends came to get us and we sadly had to stop and get up. Everyone made fun of us for sleeping in so late and quickly gave us an update about some drama that had apparently happened while we were off in our own little world. They agreed to fill us on at a breakfast restaurant and next thing I knew we were off. Me and Kari didn’t talk much to each other but the entire time we sat next to each other at every possible point. I could feel that something between us had changed. But she still had a boyfriend. Even if this changed things I couldn’t just take her away, as much as I wanted to.

After our friends filled us in on all the drama we ate and had a good time before finally heading home to catch up on all the sleep we didn’t get.

That night Kari messaged me online. “Hey.”

Usually she never messaged me, I hurriedly replied. “Yo, what’s up?”

“Dunno I just…I want to talk with someone.”

My eyes widened. “What about?”

Then she said it, something I never expected in a million years. “I broke up with my boyfriend.”

My heart pounded. I cheered. I was concerned. I didn’t know what to do. I just tried to play it off as best I could. “What? Are you okay?”

“Yeah…it’s been a longtime coming I think I just…I need a distraction.”

“Okay then. What do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.”

I laughed. “Helpful as ever I see. Well…” The details escape me but we ended up talking for hours about nothing. It was just idle chit chat but we talked until four or five A.M…two days in a row. We couldn’t get enough of talking to each other. Heh, it was actually the most I think I’ve ever talked to someone. When it came time for classes again we saw each other at our usual hangout spot and continued sitting next to each other.

Then one day we slowly slid closer and closer together, both of us on our laptops; I was almost certain she liked me but I had enough doubt in me that I was somehow mistaken that I didn’t say anything. In the most passive act ever I laid my hand out between us, with my palm open as if I expected something. In my head I thought it would look like I was just laying my arm down but it must’ve been really obvious what I wanted. After a couple minutes Kari’s hand went out to her side. A minute later it moved closer, another minute later it was on mine. I started to wrap my fingers around hers and she did the same. I gently pulled her towards me and she started leaning on me.

That was when we started going out.

It’s no exaggeration to say we suddenly became everyone’s favorite couple. We played off each other perfectly and never seemed to get tired of the other. We would frequently talk for hours then inevitably kiss for hours and when we were in a bedroom…Well you get the picture. That was how things were for a year until I shrank. You know the rest from there.

Sorry about the detour there. I got a little nostalgic. Back to the story.

I sat there moping around for an undetermined amount of time, mainly reflecting on my relationship with Kari. I must’ve been like that for a long time too, since she came back without me calling on her.

“Rob…” She probably didn’t know what else to do aside from give me a concerned look. I looked up at her and stared. This girl was my Goddess. I loved her to death and now she couldn’t be mine. What did this mean for us? She dumped me but still offered to look after me. Why?

“Hey…”

Kari’s ears perked. After all, this was the first thing I’d said in who knew how long. “Yes?”

“Why did you offer to look after me?”

She looked at me and answered without hesitation. “Because you’re my bestfriend.”

I sat there, speechless. It was such a simple thing to say but with all the doom and gloom in my head it was the best damn thing I could’ve ever heard. I won’t say it made me undepressed. But it definitely put me in a better mood.

Once I found my words I again I sat myself up. “…Thank you Kari.”

“Anytime. Hey, are you hungry?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me go make something. Then we can watch TV or something. That work?”

I smiled, “Sounds good.”