Once I started wondering it quickly became clear that Mom in fact, did not know I was home; and why would she? I didn’t exactly have much of a presence and all my messages failed to go through. The only actual reason she would stop to think that I was there would be if Jaz had told her she’d be dropping me off early. Even if she did, that’s the kind of thing that’s easy to forget. Especially considering Mom looked tired after what was probably a long day at work (For the record she works as a secretary).

At first I wasn’t too worried. I fired off a few more texts to no response then finally tried calling, which also didn’t work. I figured her phone was dead so I wouldn’t be able to do much until it got charged. I would’ve called the home phone if we had one but once we got our cell phones…Yeah. Kinda regretted that decision then.

So I was in a house with a family member thousands of times my size whose pinky alone could destroy a neighborhood. Cool. What’s the worst that can happen?

As it would turn out, nothing happened. Mom walked in and kicked her shoes off with a dead look in her eyes. Then she just walked across the room without so much as taking a look in my direction. I just watched, kinda just sitting still for a moment. Screaming for attention would be useless. The thought crossed my mind that I could call for help but my nearest friend was Jaz and she was on her way to school and had a record of not answering while driving. Kristen and Kari on the other hand were in class right now and probably had their phones silenced. I probably still should’ve contacted them but I ended up deciding against it. Not one of my better choices.

I must’ve stood there tensed up for something like ten minutes before I heard the sound of running water in the distance: Mom in the shower. Once I realized that I relaxed a bit. This wasn’t an emergency or anything yet. As soon as Mom realized her phone was dead and charged it I’d be home free. Until then I was in a pretty safe spot on the table. All that was up here with me was a TV remote a solid mile away. I’d just wait.

At least that’s what I told myself. Even as I tried to relax I still felt anxious just under the surface. All I could think about was our old maid Maria and how she met her fate when Mom didn’t realize she was there. I supposed that, if nothing else, I wouldn’t get crushed by Mom sitting down. That rules out one possible way of getting crushed out of what, a hundred?

Maybe I was worrying for nothing though. I mean, one of the points Jaz was making was that I could trust people not to crush me. At least…I think that’s what she was doing. Honestly it’s still hard to figure her motives out. Regardless, I could at least trust my Mom to not do anything too bad. Not like I’d be around long to regret it if she did anyway right?

Wow that was morbid. Sorry. If it’s not clear already I ultimately survived this so uh…spoiler I guess? Sue me.

Anywho, Mom was busy relaxing in a prolonged bath after a long day of work and I tried to distract myself with some phone internet while I repeatedly tried messages. This kept going for about half an hour. I’d actually managed to calm myself down to a reasonable level when Mom showed up.

Naked.

If I wasn’t sure before I was definitely certain she didn’t think I was there then. Boy, you wanna talk about scarring images.

In her defense though she wasn’t completely naked. She had on a set of panties and was rubbing a towel along herself so that helped. Still, I saw some shit…Some stuff you should never see from your mother.

It’s actually kinda disturbing to think about so pardon me if I’m being vague. Though I’m willing to bet someone’s getting off to this right now so tell you what buddy. I’ll do you a solid and bite the bullet on this one and try to describe what I saw.

Picture a woman teetering on the edge of forty. So she’s still young but she’s got enough of that older woman vibe to her that you’re aware you’re looking at an adult. She had the kind of curves most guys would kill for but there was definitely a little pudgy-ness where in a younger woman it’d probably be flat as a board. Wet dark blonde hair that’s pulled back but still allowed to drape over her neck, as well as dark red nails that totally clashed with her natural skin tone. And of course she was soaking wet. Her breasts were big and sprawled out. I will not say more on that.

Personally I wish I could unsee it but you probably think it sounds kinda hot. That’s alright, just don’t ask me to describe it again.

Mercifully I only saw Mom bare for a moment before she properly covered herself with a towel and headed back towards the door. She began to bend over and I quickly looked away. When I looked back she had her shoes in her hand and headed back towards her room.

The whole thing definitely calmed me down but now the next thirty minutes were spent trying to get the image of my Mom naked out of my mind. Sad to say, didn’t work. It still haunts me. The only reason I didn’t try to deny it longer was because she came back, clothed this time thank God.

Now she was totally dry, with her hair in a ponytail and in some comfortable yoga pants and a blue t-shirt. In her hands was a bowl. Of what, I wasn’t sure. But I was sure she was heading right towards me. She placed that bowl on the table near the remote. After my fun morning with Jaz and her bowl of food I didn’t wanna take any chances on this one so I slowly backed away, careful I wouldn’t attract attention and make Mom think I was a bug.

Her phone was placed beside the bowl even closer to me. I tried one last time to text it but nothing. I was gonna have to wait this out.

For a moment I considered trying to get her attention though that dumb idea left my head almost the second I had it. Mom had started eating and turned on the TV. I was not going to get her attention no matter how hard I tried. It would be in my best interest to get as far away as I could. For some reason I was paranoid that if I turned my back I’d suddenly get smushed so I made an effort to keep my eyes on my giant mother as I backed up. It was a painfully slow process but over time the space between me and that bowl was increasing.

Mom ate rather lazily, picking up a spoonful of what looked like pasta and eating it every few seconds with her eyes soaking in television in the meantime. The only time her eyes broke off that screen were whenever she had to get another spoonful. Aside from that she didn’t really do much. Not once did she even seem to acknowledge the phone I desperately needed her to answer right now. Maybe every once in a while she’d dab her lips with a napkin or change the channel or something but that was it. No, strike that. She did go get a glass of water and bring it back. That was pretty exciting.

I would love to tell you that things stayed boring like this for a while but of course, they did not. That would make this whole thing not worth talking about. Maybe about…ten minutes in things got rough. By this point I’d already warily backed myself up somewhere around four or five inches to the standard person. Pretty good by my standards but still a little close to the danger zone. Though unless something weird happened I would be totally fine…right?

Well something weird happened.

It started off totally innocent. Mom grabbed a napkin to wipe her lip off as one should. She wiped her lips off and naturally wrinkled up the napkin in her hand. Okay, good so far. Then she put it down and it’s here where we have the problem. To her she put it down in a random spot beside her food. To me I was suddenly underneath a wrinkled napkin the size of a building with crumbs as big as I was all over the place. Luckily I was between two crumpled folds instead of being directly underneath so I could still move and such. I was just in a not-so-great place to be.

I had no time to waste. This was bad. Like, really bad. I turned and began to run so I could get out from here while I could. Theoretically given how frequently my Mom used her napkin I should have been able to get out from there no problem. Or perhaps she’d get a second napkin, that’d be a lucky break.

So of course that didn’t happen.

The walls around be caved in from the sides, giving way to some distinctly massive figures that grasped it from the sides. They closed in enough that even I ended up trapped between the folds of cloth and was brought along for the ride as the ground I was once standing on went further and further away. Or to put it simply, Mom grabbed the napkin, it tightened around me, and now I was along for the ride.

Once I was in the air I was certain I was a dead man. No way I was getting out of this. Once I looked through an opening and saw Mom’s lips I was even more sure. The massive forms came in close and everything around me made way to rub against her lips and clean off any debris from them. On the second wipe I too got to get up close and personal with them…and I did not come off.

I had my eyes clenched the entire time so I can’t say much for how it looked but I felt my Mom’s bottom lip engulf me. The casual swipe of her napkin forced me deep into its softness, allowing me to experience the wetness of her saliva along the top of her lip. Said saliva also made me a little stuck, stuck enough that I ended up dislodged from the napkin and stuck in a new place.

When I dared to open my eyes again I nearly screamed. Mom’s face was miles up in the air. If I fell then that was it. Though that wasn’t the main problem.

No, the main problem was the next spoonful of food I saw coming in.