Word to the wise. If you ever have a shrunken guest please be mindful of your morning alarms. Disable them, or at the very least inform your guest of them. Do not, ever EVER leave them on and say nothing. And definitely don’t have your guest sleep next to your phone that has all these alarms set to go off at the crack of dawn. See, Jaz forgot to do that and I still very much hold a grudge for it.

At 9:00 A.M. on the dot this screech violated my entire body and made me jump several feet in the air. I hadn’t even woken up yet and my day had begun with my ears ringing, head splitting, and I was fairly certain all the water in my body was vibrating. I’m not ashamed to admit I screamed. What I screamed I couldn’t tell you since I couldn’t even tell because it was so loud, but I can assure you it was an appropriate mixture of irritated obscenities and regular screaming. Couldn’t even tell you what it was that was drowning me out. I think it was a song but it was so loud and I was directly next to Jaz’s building-sized phone so it just sounded like a soul-piercing shriek.

Jaz took her sweet time turning it off too. Once I finished my little fit I looked over to see her rolling over and covering her head with her blankets. I didn’t quite have that luxury. But I did get to glare at her and resume venting until she saw fit to get up and lazily turn off her cell phone alarm.

“Sorry bout that…” She grumbled, half-yawning.

I opted not to respond right away and instead bask in my newfound respect for quiet. Once my ears stopped making me want to kill myself I looked around until I could find my own phone, placed near Jaz’s.

A mere text could not properly convey my fury but I did the best with what I got. I won’t say it exactly but I think each curse word came up at least twice. Alongside some other colorful insults. When I sent it I winced as the phone next to me went off again. Mercifully, it only vibrated. Jaz sheepishly touched the screen and glanced at it before swiping it away. “Don’t be so dramatic. I said I’m sorry. My bad.”

I tried a few more messages but it was clear she was too sleepy to even begin to care about what I was saying. I sighed, texting “What’s for breakfast?”

After reading it Jaz  booted up the app I could talk through. “Dunno, whatcha making?”

“After that hell? Probably puke.”

“You know…As nice as that sounds I think I’ll stick to cereal.”

“Sounds good.”

Jaz lowered a finger and I hopped aboard. Moments later I found myself on top of a wooden table. Wordlessly Jaz yawned again and headed into another room, coming back a minute later with a bowl and her phone, both placed near me.

“Can you…eat cereal?” She gave me a confused look.

“I can, it’s just really dry and hard to chew.”

“Sounds about right.” She nodded, spinning a spoon in her bowl thoughtlessly. “Here.” She pulled it out and brought it near me. I stared at it for a moment without thinking too much. Next thing I knew a piece of cereal the size of my body came gushing out in a wave of milk. Instinctively I hopped back. Luckily the milk was far enough away the wave was only about ankle high when it reached me.

“That one’s a little soggy now so it should be perfect.” She turned back to eating, uninterested in the fact I nearly got floored by a tidal wave of milk. Apparently early morning sass was not a thing, not that I was complaining. After all the lip she gave me the other day a little silence was really nice.

I’d never had soggy cereal before at my size so I was curious. Carefully I approached it (For the record this one was a cocoa puff) and gave it a few pokes. Usually cereal felt like rock but this time it was more like sponge. It squished beneath my hands easily, actually making me a little excited to try it.

“Can’t remember the last time I had cereal that was actually chewy.” I ripped a piece out with my hand and slid it into my mouth. It tasted even better than it felt. Chocolaty goodness filled my taste buds and before I realized it I was shoveling it in. I didn’t particularly care what mess I made or how I looked since they were both kind of irrelevant at my size. A couple dozen handfuls later I felt nice and bloated.

“Mm…that was good.”

“Glad you liked it.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I wiped my lips with the back of my wrist, noting how sticky my hands were. “Ugh, I need a bath or something.”

“Do you now?”

I did not like the way she said that.

I also did not like that she was now moving to pick me up. Except, she wasn’t using her fingers like she always did; she was using her spoon. I guess in that sense it’d be more accurate to say she scooped me up though wouldn’t it?

The spoon came at me and knocked itself into my shins, knocking me forward into a small pool of milk inside. Anyone could imagine what came next. Even so, I did my best to remain calm. “Jaz…What are you doing?” Behind me the phone only barely picked up my voice and projected it.

She smiled. “Giving you a bath.”

Then her mouth opened.

And I went in.

Just kidding. Jaz wouldn’t do that to me….immediately.

First her tongue poked out from between her lips, licking up the few milk droplets left on them. Just to be sure they did another run around before jutting out more to try and reach the spoon that was now moving towards it. I started shouting to try and get Jaz to stop. Of course I was now outside of the phone range so it didn’t matter. After a couple shouts I gave up and quickly put the effort into backing as far into the spoon as I could. A small fidget of Jaz’s hand made me fall and soak my jeans in milk but I kept crawling backwards, never losing sight of Jaz’s tongue. I could clearly see each taste bud and kept imagining all the little fibers rubbing against my body, soaking me in my friend’s saliva. My reflection glistened in the sheen of liquid on the tip of her eagerly approaching tongue, showing me just how nervous I looked. The closer it got the stronger I could feel the soft breeze of her breath.

At first Jaz only teased me by licking only the bottom of the spoon. Beneath my feet I could feel it pushing against the thin metal. Then it began to creep up along the edges, cleaning them off too before finally arriving at the tip of the spoon and slowly working its way towards me. I turned to try and keep backing up into the handle but Jaz’s thumb blocked my path. Figures she’d have already thought of that. I turned back just in time to catch a final glimpse of the pink appendage before it hit me. In one single, overpowering movement my entire body was pushed into the spoon and smushed against Jaz’s tongue. It held me firmly in place as she made exaggerated noises and continued to rub her tongue against me.

I didn’t know how to react at first. Of course this was the latest attempt to screw with me and I knew that. But this was her tongue! It was slimy and caked me in its juices and rubbing me against the innards of a spoon. I tried to push it away by my hands sank into the field of taste buds without moving it so much as an inch. Quite the contrary; because I was holding on to her tongue when I was a simple upward flick of Jaz’s tongue moved me from the spoon to right on top of it. I looked back at the spoon I was just on as Jaz quickly took it away. The ground beneath me began to move and I didn’t even need to look to know I was now on my way inside Jaz’s mouth. When I looked I just saw her mouth open as wide as it could be, giving me a full view of all the pink, slimy innards of her mouth alongside a set of, admittedly flawless, white teeth with some cereal chunks caked in between her molars. In the very back I could faintly see her uvula, even that being multiple times my size.

Then I saw nothing but darkness.

Her mouth had no shut, leaving me no way to see. The tongue I was laying on moved softly beneath me as I did my best to just hang on. It felt more humid than I’d ever felt before, like the air was more water than air. There was a constant stream from the top of her jaw of saliva just sliding down along her teeth, which softly grinded against each other. The sound of my friend’s breathing was all I could hear. Inside her mouth it sounded like a strong gust of wind blew far above me then worked its way down until it blew out into the cavern I was in. The only time this consistent sound wasn’t overpowering my ears was when I heard loud noises come from further down Jaz’s throat. I could vaguely identify them as the sound of her holding in a chuckle.

I couldn’t have been in there more than ten seconds before light filled my world again, but it may as well have been ten hours.

Once her tongue stuck back out Jaz pulled out and dangled me in front of her eyes, each eyeing me playfully. “How was that for a bath?”

Relief filled my body. I was sure I would be fine, but I still had that small fear of something going wrong. Compared to other things I’d dealt with at this size it wasn’t the scariest thing I’d ever been through, nor the most dangerous, but I still had only one response to give to my friend after that.

“Fuck you.”

She set me down near her phone again. “Sorry if I scared ya. Couldn’t resist.”

“I bet.” I rolled my eyes, surprisingly calm considering I was in her mouth not even a minute prior.

“Got any more weird games you wanna play? Need me to swim in a glass of water while you pretend to drink it? Hide me in your shoe and pretend to slip it on? Anything else you gotta get out of your system?” Okay, admittedly I was more irritated than calm.

Jaz smiled. “Nope. That was it.”

My eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you.”

She shrugged, “I could mess with you all day but I promised to take you back first thing in the morning. Unless you want me to put you in my shoe.”

“Fuck you.”

“Whatever foot boy.” She got up and put her bowl away, returning with a new one. “Here.” She placed it back to me. “For your real bath. You need it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jaz smirked, “You taste like shit. Probably smell like it too.” Carefully she lifted me up again and placed me in the bowl. “While you’re in there I’ll be taking a shower. I better not find you peeping or you’ll regret it.”

“I doubt I could leave this bowl if I tried.”

Of course she didn’t hear me. Jaz left to take her morning shower and I began my bath. Rather considerately it was filled just enough so that it was about chest high and warm. Once I wormed my way out of my clothes it was a surprisingly nice way of bathing. After I was sure I was clean I spent the rest of my time trying to wash the milk from my stuff until Jaz came back…in a towel.

I tried not to stare but it was really damn hard not to when I knew full well she was naked underneath it.

“Don’t even think about it.” She warned after placing me outside of the bowl. Once I was safely out she turned to head back to the bathroom and I may or may not have stared at her ass for a moment when she did so. Don’t judge me.

I slid back into my soaked clothes since drying them wasn’t gonna happen and I had no spares. Aside from being a little hard to move in they worked just fine. Not like I moved much for a while anyway. Know that stereotype about girls taking forever to get ready? Well let’s just say while Jaz went and got herself dolled up I got an hour nap in.

When she actually did finally come back I couldn’t tell what she spent the time on. Like always her hair was in a ponytail, she had some glasses on, a violet t-shirt, and a pair of modestly short shorts…Shame I couldn’t see them past the table.

“Ready?” Her voice woke me up.

“Sure.” I hopped aboard her finger and found a cozy place in her ear. After getting my phone again that is. Honestly, it’s a miracle I didn’t lose the damn thing.

Anyway, we were off. Jaz was too busy driving to talk much so she decided her last act to annoy me would be to blare music. Compared to her alarm though I really couldn’t care less. Once I got lost in my thoughts I managed to tune it out fairly easily. Incidentally would the whole thing with Jaz’s tongue be considered a French kiss? I spent the better part of the drive debating on that. Frankly, I think not since my mouth was never open.

About twenty minutes later Jaz turned her radio down, “We’re here tiny.”

“Alrighty, just set me off on the table in the living room.”

“You aren’t the boss of me.”

I rolled my eyes and waited. First Jaz knocked on the door to no response. I explained that Mom probably locked in when she went out to work so I guided her to our spare key and voila, we were in.

After another hop onto her finger I was placed on the table in the living room just as I asked. “Thanks.”

Since I wasn’t in her ear she didn’t hear me. Nonetheless Jaz smiled at me, “Anytime. Hope you had fun. We gotta do it again.”

“Let’s not and say we did.” I waved, thinking to myself that she must never know how much I actually enjoyed that visit.

“Can’t stay for long. Gotta hurry to class. Bye~” She waved before heading out. I glanced at my phone. She was already late.

“If you were running late just say so.” I let out a small laugh.

Something about the last couple days were…interesting. I hesitate to say good. But definitely interesting. If nothing else I got some uh…unique experiences out of it. And despite nearly having a panic attack more than once it was pretty fun. Once you learn to roll with the punches even nearly getting eaten loses some of its impact. It was fun, and fun was what I really needed.

“Better text Mom let her know I’m home.” I quickly typed out a message and sent it. The screen in front of me lit up moments later with a message I’d never seen before: Message Failed to Send.

“That’s odd. She’s probably in a dead zone or low on battery or something.” I shrugged and thought nothing of it.

The next four hours or so were spent with me on that table playing around on my phone. I really should’ve just asked Jaz to bring me to my little set-up in my room. But I didn’t, so I dealt with it as boring as it was. At some point I fell asleep and woke back up…twice.

It was just boring until about four or so. Then I heard the door open.

In the doorway I saw Mom, dressed in a business skirt, entering.

I immediately typed out a text, “Welcome home.” and once again it said the message failed to send.

For a moment I stared at my phone with a frustrated look. Then I asked myself a very important question.

Did Mom know I was there?