“Firsts first, I have to get Michelle,” he said. He looked around and realized that he had left the window open. The only reason should would have left would be because she had seen the open window and assumed he had made a mad dash for the car. When he wasn’t there, she must have thought he was running around like a lunatic.

“Probably thinks I’m running around naked too,” he chuckled to himself, and then winced at the pain. It hurt him to laugh. This was definitely not good.

“Ok, time for the bandages,” he said. He looked around and saw that his pants had fallen in such a way that the back pockets were facing up.

“Lucky break,” he told himself, making his way over to his right back pocket. A brown leather wallet was popping out the back ever so slightly. He grabbed hold of the edge, and with all his strength, pulled the massive piece of leather out of the pocket. It took a minute, considering just how small he was and how large the wallet seemed to him, but he managed it.

Sweating and panting, he made his way over to the mouth of the wallet, pushed up and opened the whole thing. He crawled across it towards a smaller pocket, and opened it. Inside was a first aid kit, made perfectly for him.

“Thanks Doc,” smiled Joe, opening it up and pulling out the bandages.

The floor of Michelle’s dorm was a worst nightmare situation for Joe. Between him and her bedside table lay mounds of clothing, trash, unmentionables, and other clutter that was going to make this a hard trek.

He looked towards her bedside table, which was directly across the room from him. He couldn’t see it, but he knew what was up their; his cellphone.

“Time to make a call,” he said, trying to sound bad ass. He was naked, bandaged, and had now acquired a piece of weaponry. Inside his wallet, along with the first aid kit, he kept a small metal staff that had pointed ends. In a place this big, who knew what was lurking underneath every sock and pair of panties. Though it may not be of much use to, let’s say a cat, he could at least hold off his ground, if not kill, other insects that might be interested in making him their meal.

Taking a deep breath, he began his long journey towards his phone, and ultimately a way out of this mess, Michelle. He shuddered at the thought of the conversation that lay ahead of them, and how awkward it was going to be. On top of that, he couldn’t shake off the fear that he held deep in his heart. The fear that had kept him from telling Michelle about his condition for all these months.

“Look, Michelle, you need to understand why I couldn’t just tell you about this,” said Joe, going over ideas of how he was going to confront his lovely, and now goddess of a girlfriend, about why he had been lying to her for all this time.

While he talked, he climbed over a now mountain like pair of jeans. He knew it would have taken too long to go around them, so he had decided climbing them was the only solution. And having grown up with this condition, he had plenty of experience with climbing. With practiced movements, he scaled the mountainous pair of skinny jeans with ease, and slid down the other side.

“I mean, come on, you have to admit, you wouldn’t have believed me if I told you! No, no, that’s not it,” Joe sighed to himself, walking along one of Michelle’s T-shirts. He looked down to see it had a rather large coffee stain on it, which had at this point completely dried, yet the smell of it had stayed.

“Why don’t we grab some coffee and talk about this!” he tried out, then stopped walking. He looked down at himself, then straight ahead.

“Um, no, that’s not it,” said Joe, realizing just how stupid that sounded. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Joe’s small and trained ears heard the sound of skittering before he saw it. It was a rather silent sound, but unmistakeable to Joe. He gripped his metal spear and turned his attention towards the source of the sound. A large spider was skittering towards him, most likely with a rather gruesome agenda in mind.

“Hello there, Mrs. Grass Spider,” said Joe. Gauging from it’s size, he assumed to it be female, considering how much smaller males usually were. The spider’s body was half his size, and the large legs only added to the size. To Joe, it appeared to be the size of a large dog, but he did not take this lightly.

He braced himself, and when the spider was close enough, he thrust his spear at it, aiming for the eyes. The spider reared back in pain, and Joe used this opportunity to get behind it. Once it looked to be regaining it’s composure, he jumped up on it’s back, thrusting the spear into it’s lower abdomen. The Spider began to squirm for a minute, then dropped to the ground, dead.

Panting, Joe hopped away from the spider and wiped his forehead. Quick movements and right in the abdomen, that was the way to kill a spider. Joe had years of practice with these things, and his fear of them was not as evident as it used to be.

“Alright, no, where was I,” he said to himself, returning to his journey towards the table.

Twenty minutes later, Joe’s hand reached for the top of the bedside table. His other hand followed, and with a mighty pull, he hoisted himself onto the table, a mass of blood, sweat, and tears.

“Whatever happens, I am going to have a SERIOUS discussion with that woman about spring cleaning!” he said, panting heavily. He had a bandage tied across his chest and shoulder, pinning his metal spear to his back, which he had done to allow himself to climb up the wire that plugged Michelle’s alarm clock into the wall. It had been a bit out of his reach, but he had managed to jump up, grab hold, and shimmy his way up the cord to the tabletop above.

He scanned the cluttered table until his eyes fell upon the treasure he was seeking. He dashed across the table with renewed vigor until he reached his cell phone. He hopped on top, and made his way over to the home button. Pushing down, the phone lit up, and he looked across the expanse of his phone.

He couldn’t help but smile a little when he saw Michelle’s face light up the screen. He stood there for a moment, before remembering his current predicament. He sucked in a deep breath as he was reminded of the massive throbbing that filled his brain at the moment. It was bad, and it didn’t seem to be getting any better.

With little difficulty, he managed to slide the touch screen across until the apps to the phone were showing. Using his hands, feet, and arms, he tirelessly worked and worked until finally, he opened up contacts and jumped down on Michelle’s name. The phone began to call, and Joe nearly jumped up into the air for joy. The phone rang, and Joe made a mad dash for the speaker button.

“Hello? Joe?” he heard, and his heart beat quicker.

“Michelle? Michelle can you hear me?” he said, knowing full well she could. He had his phone modified long ago for such occasions, knowing that a time may come when he would need to use the phone when he was not at full height.

“Yeah, I can hear you. Where are you?” she asked, curious and nervousness filling her voice.

“I’m still at your place. Just come back and we can talk this over,” he said, trying not to let his exhaustion be heard. It didn’t work.

“You ok, hun? You sound like you ran a marathon or something,” she said, and Joe chuckled.

“It’ll all make sense when you get here. Just hurry up, ok?” he said. She was silent for a moment, and Joe was about to make sure she was still there, when he heard her voice.

“I’ll be there in a few. And… put your clothes back on please,” she said, and Joe laughed.

“Come on, Michelle, it’s not anything you haven’t seen before,” he said. Michelle hung up and Joe sighed.

“I love you,” he said, and made himself comfortable on his hard phone.

Michelle hadn’t been too far when she got the call from Joe, and now found herself walking up the walkway towards her house. It was close to the college she and Joe both attended, and she shared the rent with a friend of hers. She had thought Stacy would be home by now, but Joe’s car was the only one other than hers that sat in the driveway.

“He better have a good excuse for all of this,” she said, reaching into her pocket and fishing out her keys.

She was still trying to figure out how he had been able to lie about it for this long. Did his family know about his drug problem? Did any of his friends? Should she try and get them together for some sort of intervention? All these questions and more flooded her mind.

“I can make some calls later,” she said, pushing her key into the lock. The door clicked, and she opened the door.

“Joe? Joe you in here?” she called out. Suddenly, she felt her phone ringing, and she looked to see it was from Joe.

“Joe? Where are you? I thought you said you were back at my place. I’m here, so where are you?” Silence, followed by Joe’s nervous answer.

“Head… head into your room,” he said, and Michelle looked around.

“Joe, what’s going on?” she asked, her voice shaky. What WAS going on? Joe sounded strange on the phone.

“Just go into your room,” he said again. Michelle hesitated, than made her way through the small house, ending up in the doorway to her empty room.

“Ok, I’m in my room,” she said. Silence again. Then Joe spoke up.

“L-Look at your bedside table,” he said, and Michelle thought she could hear Joe crying.

“What? Joe your not-,” she started to say, then froze. On her bedside table, it looked like there was a small mouse standing next to Joe’s phone. But it was standing upright, and had dirty blond hair and a bandaged head. Her phone fell from her hands as she realized she was staring at her now pocket-sized boyfriend.