CHAPTER 9: Does That Make You Uncomfortable?
*Above the silhouettes of the pines, the sky is so clear and black and bright I can see the tiniest pinpricks of stars, see where they cluster and form the milky way, see every constellation shining eagerly. I reach out to touch them. I'm drawn to one star, hot and blue. It burns my hand as it draws nearer, heading straight down towards me.*
“WHAT THE FUCK...” Miranda says.
I groan and try to sit up, my vision blurry. I rub my face with my hands. Yes, I realize. Both of them. I flex the fingers of the hand that was torn off and crushed.
Miranda is back at her computer desk, her head turned looking down at me. She pushes her office chair back and swivels around to look down upon me, the floor rumbling. Boots discarded, her stockinged feet straddle me. She frowns, looking around on the floor. I look around too. There’s no sign of my death, no splattering of blood. I realize I'm naked, sitting on a pile of clean, rumpled clothes. She taps her fingers on her chin, squinting at me.
I struggle to my feet, stumbling a bit, stretching my arm.
“NO,” she says, “I DEFINITELY SQUISHED YOU.” Her massive hands swoop down and snatch me up, and we slide back to her desk. She holds me firmly in her hand. On her computer screen is the video editing program. She clicks through several windows until she finds the one she's looking for. She drags the slider through the timeline, scanning until it’s where she wants, and then lets it play. At first I can’t make sense of what I’m looking at, it’s just a dark still image. But then something moves, comes into focus. It takes me another minute to realize who it is, because I don’t often see my own reflection. We’re watching the recording taken from Martin's head.
It’s strange watching me wave to myself. Seeing me from the past, disconnected, knowing that this person is me and that in a few minutes he's going to die. Knowing what it will feel like, what he'll go through. I wave back solemnly.
Miranda holds me up to her face and I’m confronted by her big hazel eyes as she scrutinizes me. When she looks back at the screen, I twist my head around and watch the video of the floor swinging around, with brief glimpses of myself running away. Miranda skips ahead a bit. I wince as she pauses it on a shot of me lying face first on the floor, my arm missing and blood spurting and pooling from my shoulder. She zooms in on the image and turns me around in her hand. On the screen is my tattoo, X-R/99(ALPHA). She flips me around once more, looking into my face.
“ALPHA?”
I nod, cautiously.
“WOW,” she says, cocking her eyebrow and leaning back in her chair. “SO THAT STORY ABOUT YOU ESCAPING FROM SOME LAB WAS TRUE... THERE’S NOTHING LIKE YOU ON THE MARKET. THIS SHOULDN'T EVEN BE POSSIBLE. IMPRESSIVE...” She opens her hand, letting me stand on my own. “THAT MUST BE WHAT NAOMI MEANT WHEN SHE SAID YOU WERE TOUGH.” Then she sighs and rubs her brow with her free hand. “FUCK. NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU?” I don’t say anything. “WHY ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR CAGE ANYWAY, YOU LITTLE... OH RIGHT. SHE SAID YOU MIGHT TRY SOMETHING.”
“Why...” I say, faltering. I force myself to continue. “Why do you do this?” Miranda locks eyes with me. "THE VIDEOS?" she asks, smirking. “FOR THE MONEY.”
“What?” I shake my head, thoughts finally spinning into place. “People buy them? Why?” But I think I already know the answer.
Her smirk turns into a grin and she leans in close to me. I try to lean back in her hand, away from her smile. Softly, through her grinning teeth, she says, “BECAUSE WE GET OFF ON IT.”
I feel sick suddenly, hearing the words I had dreaded in such an evil voice. “DOES THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, LITTLE ALPHA?” she says.
I’m shaking. “You killed Jeff. And the others.” She laughs. “OH YES. DID YOU KNOW THEM WELL? THEY WERE FUN. USUALLY WHEN I’M EDITING, I JUST...” She reaches into a drawer on the desk and slips out a large vibrator. “...HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.”
Oh God... is this really happening?
“I’VE KILLED QUITE A FEW OF YOU LITTLE PEOPLE. IF YOU WEREN’T SO EXPENSIVE OR HARD TO FIND, I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW MANY OF YOU I WOULD HAVE DESTROYED BY NOW, INSTEAD OF JUST GETTING BY WITH MY RECORDINGS...” She drops the vibrator back into the drawer, one hand running up and down her chest. “I’M LUCKY, RUNNING THE STORE. ONLY RICH WOMEN CAN AFFORD TO BUY YOU. BUT IF ANY OF YOU GET SICK... I CAN USUALLY SNEAK YOU OUT AND PRETEND I’VE DISPOSED OF YOUR LITTLE BODIES.” I put my face in my hands.
“FINDING ALL YOUR FRIENDS FROM THE RESTAURANT, THAT... THAT WAS LUCKY,” she says. “I’VE NEVER HAD SO MANY OF MY OWN AT ONE TIME BEFORE. I HARDLY KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW, I JUST WANT TO CRUSH YOU ALL AT ONCE.” She grins wider seeing my little form tremble in her palm.
I try to breathe normally but I feel like I’m hyperventilating. “Please,” I say, “Please don’t kill any more of them.”
She laughs. “WHY, ALPHA? YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE THEM SMUSHED ALL ON THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOES?”
“Please!” I say. “Just let them go! Kill me instead, just... not them...”
She sighs, shaking her head and smiling. But then... she puts a finger on her lips and stares at me. I feel hollow, transparent as she considers me. I'm gripped by a faint glimmer of hope.
“SO YOU KEEP REGENERATING?”
I nod.
“EVERY TIME?”
“Yes.”
She stares at me. “HMM.”
I don’t like the sound of that.
“I DON’T WANT NAOMI FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS,” she says, waving at the computer. “AND APPARENTLY I CAN’T KILL YOU. SO... I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO KEEP YOU.”
I swallow. That’s not what I wanted her to say.
She smiles slyly at my discomfort. “YOU COULD BE VERY... HELPFUL TO MY BUSINESS.” She closes her hand around me again and I squirm. Her smile widens. “I’LL TELL HER I LOST YOU... THAT YOU RAN AWAY. THAT SHOULD WORK.” Her grip tightens and I start to lost my breath. “YOUR FRIENDS DON’T KNOW ABOUT THIS, DO THEY?”
I shake my head.
“GOOD. I WASN’T PLANNING ON USING THEM UP JUST YET. BUT IF YOU TRY TO GET AWAY... I WILL KILL THEM VERY SLOWLY IN FRONT OF YOU. AND MAKE YOU WATCH THE VIDEO OF IT HAPPENING, EVERY DAY AFTER THAT.
UNDERSTAND?”
I'm frozen, mentally and physically. I feel sweat drip down my nose. I know she's not joking, not in the slightest.
“I THOUGHT YOU WOULD. YOU'RE MINE NOW, AND YOU'LL DO EVERY THING I SAY. RIGHT? SAY, ‘YES MISTRESS’.” I gulp, try to push away images of crushed Beta and Zero. “Yes Mistress.” “GOOD BOY. SAY THE WHOLE THING NOW.”
I hesitate. Suddenly I can't even remember all the words she said before, it's all happening like a nightmare too fast. I’m shaking like a leaf. “Uh,” I utter.
Miranda cocks an eyebrow impatiently, and she presses her thumb into my arm, making me writhe painfully. “Ah! I’m yours and I’ll do whatever you want!” I scream quickly. She looks down at me dangerously. But then she leans back and says, “CLOSE ENOUGH. I COULD SNAP YOUR ARM LIKE A TWIG RIGHT NOW IF I WANTED TO.” Then she eyes me, thoughtfully. SNAP.