* * * * *
During the 1980's, "Crazy Bob" Katzman (nee Roberto DelGado Montes) had been a popular stand-up comic. Headlining in Vegas night clubs; doing guest shots on THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JOHNNY CARSON; even co-starring in one or two movies opposite Whoopi Goldberg!
But, all that changed after he ran afoul of a customs inspector he couldn't bribe to look the other way.
By the time he had completed his twenty-year prison term, for drug possession, he was lucky if he could get cameo appearances on a Syfy Channel movie-of-the week. On the other hand, it did give him incentive to become a "born again" Christian. Consequently, he used the money he had squirrled away in a West Indian bank account, at the height of his fame, to open a half-way house for underage junkies that he ran with the help of an East L.A. priest named Father Diaz. And, which they subsequently dubbed "Casa Esperanza" ("Hope House").
Anyway, the information he picked up from their various guests he would often sell to me, so he could then donate the money to Casa Esperanza's general fund. And, recently, he had heard talk about the Aeroflot jetliner crash.
"Word on the street is, the hijackers were after some kind of meteorite...made of pure silver."
"You've got to be frigging me!" I'd exclaimed.
"Mi mano a Dios," he'd replied, raising his right hand.
But, as I said earlier, I couldn't get any confirmation about such a thing from any other sources. No mysteriously armed men found among the dead. And, definitely, no silver meteorite!
So, I went to Casa Esperanza to confront Bob with this news. He lived on the top floor of the half-way house, in an efficiency apartment converted from attic space. And, as I knew where he kept his spare key, I let myself in. Which is how and when I first saw them...and vice-versa.
Like I also said earlier, there were three of them. All of them wearing ninja hoods. And, each of them definitely female, as the upper portion of their form-fitting unitards left no doubt in that regard, whatsoever!
What finally snapped me out of my side of our mutual trance was the apparent spokeswomen of these kunoichi yelling:
"Eradicate him!"
Whereupon, the second kunoichi began to aim one of her clubs at me. Or, at least, I initially thought they were clubs. Of the type shaped like bowling pins, and juggled by circus acrobats. In any event, I had already fallen to one knee as I withdrew a home-made "flash/bang" grenade from within my left inside jacket pocket.
Actually nothing more than a hard-boiled egg, the hollowed-out shell had had its yolk and whites replaced by a combination of sugar and potassium nitrate. But, with neither of these components coming into contact with each other until _after_ I had smashed the egg. Releasing a blinding white light and a cloud of acrid smoke!
At the same time as my right hand was doing that, my left hand was reaching into my right inside jacket pocket, and removing a pair of tinted polarized goggles. The latter, hurriedly whipped over my head and eyes, protected my vision to the point where I wasn't as initially disoriented as my three would-be assailants. Therefore, I followed up this moment of surprise with a right-footed kick to the second kunoichi's midriff. Knocking the wind out of her, just enough, that she couldn't stop a subsequent kick (with the same foot) to the left side of her head!
I then spun about, clockwise, so that I could deliver a back-handed shuto chop, with the edge of my left hand, to the right side of the third kunoichi's neck. Forcing her to join her friend on the floor.
Yet, while I was doing all that (in less time than it takes to tell), the first kunoichi was aiming one of her own clubs at me. Fully expecting her to throw it at me, I instinctively somersaulted to my left, so as to avoid getting a concussion. As a result of which, I was safely out of the line of fire when a white beam of light struck a grandfather clock standing against the wall behind me.
Struck it...and shrank it.
"Heikegani-ryu!!!"
That's what I instinctively yelled out, as I kicked upwards. Disloding my loafers (deliberately bought one size too big), so that I could use them as short-range projectiles. Throwing them at the first kunoichi even as I charged forward at her. Seeking to disarm her while she was distracted from ducking under the trajectory of my shoes!
But, she'd evidently been made the chunin of this trio for a reason.* Because, even as I closed in on her, she was springing back up, and spinning counter-clockwise to kick me in _my_ "midriff."
Good thing I wear a protective cup when I'm on duty.
Anyway, it was about this point that some of the other occupants of the house began banging on the apartment door, demanding to know what was going on. So, the first kunoichi saw no other choice. She threw Little Bob at me, before yelling something in a foreign language (other than Japanese) into a Dick Tracy-like wrist radio.
I caught Little Bob with no problem. Yet, even as I did so, I was on the look-out for homing pigeons. Or, even specially trained birds-of-prey. Anything but what actually showed up to whisk these three away!
An honest-to-God flying saucer.
It came crashing through one of the windows to my right. A silvery-looking thing about the size of one of those domed serving dishes gourmet restaurants use for bringing roast turkey to your dinner table. And, when it reached the ceiling of the apartment, it shot out three pencil-thin beams of white light. Identical to the one that had shrunken the grandfather clock!
Only, in this case, it shrank each of the kunoichi. Thereby allowing them to be levitated up toward the saucer...and inside it. The dome of the saucer having pulled backward like the roof of a convertible sports coupe!!
Once the kunoichi were all aboard, the dome slid back into place. Whereupon, it flew back out the way it had entered. Leaving me momentarily alone with a Sephardic Jewish ex-comedian...
...who was now only five inches tall.
tbc
Giantess World
Author's Chapter Notes:
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
(AUGUST 1, 2014)
(AUGUST 1, 2014)
Chapter End Notes:
*Chunin: ninja squad leader.
Sephardic: anyone of Jewish descent whose ancestors were born and raised in Portugal or Spain prior to the 15th century A.D.
Sephardic: anyone of Jewish descent whose ancestors were born and raised in Portugal or Spain prior to the 15th century A.D.