Throwing caution to the wind, Gage leapt from the barrel of Charis’s gun and landed on the ground just in front of her feet. An impulsive move, perhaps, but he figured that if the witch wanted him dead, she could kill him at will. The only way out of this was to try talking with her.

“Hey!” he shouted as he craned his neck upwards. If Gage didn’t know better, he would say the witch looked ridiculous as she floated high above them, perched on a floating broom. “What’s up?” he asked with a grin.

Gage’s congenial approach seemed to take the witch by surprise, but she recovered quickly with a smile of her own. “Not much, shorty,” she replied.

Gage sauntered a few steps forward and then came to a stop, his head tilted back and one hand scratching the back of his head. “So I was just wondering… do you know if there’s some kind orientation for this 100-plus situation? I’m a bit lost.”

Without warning, the witch broke out into a fit of cackling laughter. The noise sent Gage’s skin prickling, but he maintained a sheepish smile and tried not to fidget. “Oh I like you,” she declared. In the blink of an eye, she swooped down to where Gage stood and slipped off her broom, planting her feet on either side of him. He just now noticed that she wasn’t wearing shoes.

Gage twisted his head backwards and locked eyes with Charis. “Don’t interfere,” his gaze said before returning to meet the witch’s. He tried his best not to wrinkle his nose as the pungent smell from her bare feet invaded his nostrils.

“So, Gage,” the witch began, pushing aside a lock of snowy white hair. Gage was surprised by how attractive she actually was; he hadn’t expected it from someone so intimidating. “I can easily help you,” she paused, pinning him with her reddish brown eyes, “but what do you have to offer me?”

Gage coughed and shifted his weight from one side to the other. “Well, besides my digitally enhanced good looks, I’m actually a really good bowler, and I know you’ve been looking for someone to anchor your team on Wednesday nights.” It was extremely hard to keep the tremor out of his voice.

“That’s nice,” she commented evenly. A vicious glint flashed through the witch’s eyes, and she lifted one of her feet with slow, menacing deliberation. “Do you give good foot rubs?”

Gage took an involuntary step back, but he managed to rein in his instincts before breaking into an all-out retreat. “A-actually I’m really good at hand rubs – you kind of pick that up from bowling and all that. Charis knows, right?”

“Y-yeah,” he heard his friend blurt from somewhere high and behind him. “The best hand rubs!”

“Okay,” said the witch, “but I’m really craving a foot rub right now, so…” her foot began to lower down towards him, but Gage tried his best to hold steady. The stench of sweat worsened as her big toe collided with his chest, forcing him onto his back and pushing him into the ground.

From this new perspective, he could see both Charis and the witch towering above, the witch appearing totally at ease while his friend wore a horrified expression. She looked poised to attack, but another stern glance from Gage kept her at bay. “Hey, maybe if you gave me back my sword I could give you a little acupuncture treatment. You have it, right?”

By now Gage had been pressed completely into the ground by the witch’s toes with most of his chest and lower body under her sole. Her vile foot sweat mixed with his own to soak his shirt and further increase his humiliation. “You’re not doing a very good job,” pouted the witch. “Maybe I’ll just step on you instead.”

“That’s a bold strategy,” said Gage hurriedly, “but I wouldn’t if I were you.”

“Oh?” the witch asked even as the pressure from her rank foot began to rise. She could snuff him out like a cigarette.

“Well,” Gage struggled, “I have tickets to the carnival this weekend and I was hoping you would come along.” He gasped for air. “They’re photo-ID so I kind of need… to be… there…”

As Gage’s consciousness began to fade in and out, he started to consider that his plan wasn’t going to work out after all. Worse yet, his death wouldn’t be some triumphant blaze of glory – with the stink of this woman’s foot inundating his senses, and the sweat from her toes drenching his face, he couldn’t do much worse than this in terms of ignominious ways to die.

Suddenly, he noticed Charis reaching down with one finger. Was she going to crush his head with a simple prod? That would be a step up from being stepped on, he supposed. Everything moved in slow motion as her finger came to rest on his face. The bewildered Gage at least enjoyed the cool rubber of her glove on his skin, which provided a striking contrast to the disgusting heat emanating from the witch’s foot. Then, through partially obscured vision, he saw his friend throw a tremendous punch with her free hand from a kneeling position. The strike connected beautifully with the witch’s torso, and in an instant, the crushing weight vanished. Gage felt himself being gathered up in a pair of tremendous hands.

“Don’t worry,” Charis said down to him. “I’m gonna get you out of – ” Her eyes widened, clearly fearful of something in front of her. Gage could probably guess what it was.

“That’s an interesting side effect,” the witch mused. Against the protests of his aching body, Gage grabbed onto one of Charis’s fingers and hauled himself to his feet. From his vantage point on the palm of Charis’s hand, he saw the witch back on her broom, seemingly unruffled by his friend’s attack – not that he really expected different. Her power clearly dwarfed anything they could muster, reemphasizing that this had been a terrible plan from the start: what was he thinking running into the maw of the beast like this? They had rushed into things, and they were about to pay for it.

“Oh quit cowering,” said the witch. It took a full three seconds for Gage to comprehend what was happening, but then the witch made it abundantly clear. “I’m not going to hurt you, ok?” Gage’s instincts told him not to believe her, but everything about her tone and body language – even her very aura – had become friendly. The tension in the air dissipated like the air leaving a balloon. “My name is Rima. You two aren’t total dicks like most people online, so I’ve decided to help you.”

“So you’ll be our Orientation Leader?” called Gage, trying to be glib but failing to hide his shakiness.

The witch arched an eyebrow before breaking into a smile. “Sure.”