So! Where do I begin? I suppose a capsule autobiography is in order.
I was born Robert Anthony Sharkey, Junior. Named, of course, for my dad, who's probably better known to most of you as "Tiger" Sharkey. The famous ex-wrestler-turned-actor and politician. Or, as Jay Leno once so aptly-yet-nasally summarized it:
"Three different names for the same thing!"
My own first nickname wasn't quite that colorful. You see, as a mixed martial arts kick-boxer, you could say that I had decided to follow in my father's foot work. But, naturally, I didn't want to cash in on his reputation before establishing mine. So, when I began my intensive cross-training in la savate, muay thai, uechi-ryu karate, atemi-waza judo, and Sun-style tai chi chuan, I initially chose to call myself (get the antacids ready):
"Bob N. Weaver."
I know; I know! It sounds more like the stage-name for a Vegas night club comic. Well, don't worry. After I won my first tournament, and I told them who I really was, the press came up with an even better nickname for me: "Thresher" Sharkey! Although, to be honest, it was based on their misinterpretation of the hsing-i move I called "Thrashing Tail of the Dragon" (and which had proven so decisive in my victory).
Anyway, it wasn't long after my second championship-defense bout that Hollywood came knocking at my door, in the form of Irv Duncan. Self-proclaimed "Swifty Lazar of the 21st century!" And, basically, he tried to convince me I could become the Chuck Norris of direct-to-video "chop-sockey" movies.
"I even took the liberty of dropping your name with a Filipino production company that's going to be working on location in Hawaii! They need someone who can play an American Secret Service agent, who's working undercover to protect a Vietnamese exchange student, who's actually the President's long-lost granddaughter, by a love-child he fathered in war-torn Saigon, back when he was a Green Beret!!"
"Uh-huh!" I replied (obviously quite dubious): "And, what's the title of this touching little drama going to be?"
He half-smiled: "Roughly translated from Tagalog? 'Escri-man Vs. The Earth Tigers in the Haunted Temple.' "
I nearly fell out of my easy chair, I laughed so hard.
"I'm dead serious!" he exclaimed (as soon as I was too exhausted to laugh anymore): "The producers need actors who can do their own fight scenes with very little choreographing. And, if you pass the audition, you'd be one of the top two who can fit that bill. The other one being Dan Chan, who'll be doing the title role."
Now, that made me sit up and take notice. Dan Chan was the World Wu Shu Federation's undefeated gold medalist in choy li fut! He had also cross-trained in escrima and aiki-jodo. So, getting to spar with him would be an indescribable honor for me. Even if only for a "mistaken identity slug-fest" on the silver screen!
"When and where do I audition?"
Two days later, I reported to the Tahitian Village condos, in Nevada, for a cold-script reading with the leading lady. A former Miss Junior World Peace named Ramona Magsaysay.
To be continued
Giantess World
