Then he saw a sign on the trunk of a giant tree. As he read it, he could see that it had obviously been posted low down on the trunk for the benefit of people his size.
Attention earthling. You have been brought here to Giantess Planet, formerly known as Jupiter, by means of a device known as the Star Snack. It is kept in the middle of the city known as the Region of Supper Villains. Any giantess can use its view screen controls to scan earth for a suitable man to eat, and then teleport him from earth into the Jade Jungle of Jupiter, which is just outside our city. You will in fact have arrived there instantly, while the giantess who sent you there will need time to walk into the jungle and start looking for you. She will hunt you down and catch you and eat you all up. The people of Earth responded to us with deportation. We now respond with teleportation. Run and hide well, small man. Your giantess is coming after you even as you read this.
This news was unbelievable. It also explained the rash of unexplained disappearances that D.A.B.B.L.E.S. ’97 had remained in the 35th Century to investigate.
“I’ll have to put a stop to this. She must have seen me in my birthday suit in the shower while she was calibrating that Star Snack device, whoever my giantess is!” he thought, “I wonder if this also explains the disappearance of Smartman. Enlarger Girl’s been worried sick.”
He concealed himself by climbing a hanging vine. Just as he swung on it, he looked down and saw the giantess Katey Panotso running into view. He recognised her instantly. All of the villains’ photographs were on permanent exhibit in the Region of Supermodels Museum, as a permanent warning to any other giantesses who might be thinking of eating unwilling humans.
She was older than him, younger than the 55 year old appearance of his own time’s villainess Rash Old Girl, and very beautiful. He let go of his vine in mid swing, caught the next one and used it to reach a branch. Then he looked back and saw Katey climbing the original vine with much more speed than his relatively small body had done. She swung to the next vine, and then over to his branch.
“That was a very innovative and original chase you gave me,” she said, “This will be the highest vantage point I’ve had while eating someone.”
“Not only that, but I also have the distinction of being the only 20th Century man you’ll ever have eaten. I’m Mr Mensa from D.A.B.B.L.E.S. ’97.”
“You can time travel! Even our people don’t have that ability in this time.”
She stuck out her tongue mockingly and then licked him with it.
The feel of her gigantic tongue was not in the least unpleasant. He waited while she satisfied it with the taste of him and then placed him into her mouth for a while and swallowed him. Before anything else could happen, he spat out his Time Bubblegum. It would disappear into her stomach acids below now, and have no more effect on anyone. For him, the effect was that of being instantly catapulted back in time to Jupiter 1997.
There he found Smartman, who explained that he too had been teleported to Giantess Planet weeks earlier and eaten by Gisele Christie. He had had the same idea of escaping her stomach by returning to 1997, but lacked the knowledge to fashion materials and build a spaceship to return to earth. For Mr Mensa, this was child’s play, and the two of them got to work. Once back on earth, they obtained more Time Bubblegum and travelled forward in time to 3497. There they filled Project OMUCH, leading giantesses of Giantessopolis and other members of D.A.B.B.L.E.S. ’97 in on what had been happening.
“We’ll have to work together in two teams,” said Project OMUCH, “Giantesses from both D.A.B.B.L.E.S. ’97 and Giantessopolis will take on the deported giantesses in the Region of Supper Villains, while regular sized men from D.A.B.B.L.E.S. ’97 will team with me (and as many clones of myself as I may need to make) to sneak inside the Star Snack and plant enough timed explosives to destroy it. Once both tasks are done, we’ll have to bring Insaniac 55 back to Giantessopolis and imprison her, so that she can never build another Star Snack.”
As it turned out, OMUCH only had to make enough clones to occupy the eager mouths of some of the deported giantesses until the others had completed their assignments. Once the captive Insaniac 55 was safely locked up in Giantessopolis, Mr Mensa decided that it was time for D.A.B.B.L.E.S. ’97 to return to 1997.
“Thank goodness,” said Brandi Gold (alias Enlarger Girl), “I was getting tired of having that piece of Time Bubblegum wedged between my molars for safe keeping each time I went to bed.”