“Imagine threading a needle,” Celtric said in a low voice, “your magic is the thread, your spell is the needle-“

Cupcake nodded, a drop of sweat rolling down her brow as the shield charm shimmered around them, adding another layer of magical protection.

Celtric was sitting on the goblin’s shoulder, watching her practice her spells. She was powerful, that was certain, but her technique was non-existent.

“So you’re telling me that Cupcake over there had magic all this time?” Mushroom asked, lounging against a nearby tree.

“Yes, it’s likely that, isolated as the two of you are, she simply never needed to use it,” Celtric explained, “if the fastest horse in the world never ran, how would he know if he was fast?”

“You don’t need a fireball when bit of crownspider venom smeared across a spear will kill just about anything,” Mushroom muttered, holding one of her arrows up to the light to admire the glaze.

“Most of the people we’re going to be fighting have armor thick enough that you might as well be spitting at them with that thing,” Thundra growled, stepping into the clearing.

“I’ll aim at the gaps,” Mushroom said idly, “besides, I don’t really think I’ll be sticking around on some big battlefield anyways.”

“That much I agree with,” Thundra sighed, “I know you always said it’s up to every individual to make a difference Celtric, but we could really use an army or something.”

“I didn’t start with an army last time either,” Celtric said, “and even if we regain the loyalty of the kingdoms I expect we’re always going to be outnumbered on the battlefield… Magic is good, and so is skill at arms, but we need something more, we need some tricks up our sleeve that only dwarven engineering can give us.”

“The dwarves are mostly on the Red Witch’s side these days,” Thundra shrugged, “they’ve built her horseless carriages, airships, and those railed roads that carry the big trams along them, they use steam to move somehow… supposedly there’s no magic involved.”

Celtric paled, “W-What!? Those are all things Yrsa told me she was going to invent!”

“Yrsa…” Thundra muttered, “I think I remember her, she never traveled with us, but you went to talk with her sometimes?”

“She built the cannons that won us the battle of Glacier Bay,” Celtric said, “and the turbines that let our ships move against the wind!” He collapsed onto the goblin’s shoulder, running his hands through his hair, “have such wonders truly become commonplace?”

“Well, depending on where you are,” Thundra remarked, “the thing with the Witch is she’s more of a taker than a builder, you’ll only find her people building big machines in places she goes a lot. Sometimes she takes one of those big flying things to visit Alregon, but she’s not building them their own anytime soon.”

“We need to go see Yrsa,” Celtric muttered, “She would have never joined the Witch, and I doubt she’ll have moved from her old workshop.”

“Where was it?” Thundra asked, “you never took me with you.”

“It’s on Talon peak,” he said, “it’s only a few days from here!”

“I guess we should get going then,” Thundra said with a shrug, “but I haven’t heard anything about her since you disappeared.”

“Uh, guys,” Cupcake muttered, a droplet of sweat rolling down her brow, “I’m kinda losing control of this spell!”

They all watched, horrified, as the shield spell came unraveled, energy crackling through the air, “Take cover,” Celtric ordered, leaping down from the Goblin’s shoulder. He landed on the ground with a grunt, raising his hands and readying himself to absorb the blast.

“Celtric, you can’t-“ Thundra began, but they were cut off by a crack like thunder, followed by a blinding flash.

Celtric grunted as the spell hit him, muttering incantations under his breath as he tried to shield them all. He clenched his teeth, feeling the wave crash into him. Catching a broken spell was easy, something every novice had to learn, but at his size it was less like the simple maneuver he’d practiced as a child, and more like trying to hold back a wave on the ocean.

With a roar he summoned all of his magical might, containing the roiling coil of magical energy, finally dissipating it with a hiss. His legs felt like jelly as he collapsed to the ground, panting heavily. The ground rumbled slightly as the two goblins and the enormous orc looked down at him, concerned.

“You should have let me take it Celtric,” Thundra muttered, “are you okay?”

“Just… need… to catch… my breath,” he panted.

“I don’t think so,” she sighed, rolling her eyes as she bent down to pick him up. He was limp, dangling from between her fingers as she brought him up to her massive green face. “Yeah, you’re spent.”

“I’m sorry,” Mushroom said apologetically, “I-I’ll get it next time, I promise!”

“It’s okay,” Celtric groaned, “We just need to adjust our training.”

“You need to remember you’re not big anymore,” Thundra said, her voice rising, “you don’t have the same magical power you did at full size!”

“I can’t let that slow me down!” Celtric protested, “the world needs!”

“ You need to rest and recover after that,” Thundra growled, bringing him down to her cleavage. The two goblins watched, spellbound and more than a little aroused, as she pushed a struggling Celtric down between her breasts.

“Y-You can’t just stuff me in here-“ Celtric was cut off, muffled by the massive green orbs as her finger came down, pushing him deep enough that he was hidden from view.

“Watch me,” Thundra said with a smirk.

“So what’s the deal,” Mushroom asked curiously, “Are you the human’s lover?”

Thundra blushed, “I-I’m just his old friend!”

“Damn, can I be his friend next?” Cupcake teased, shaking her breasts suggestively, “I’m pretty sure he’d like a ride in mine!”

Thundra growled an unheard response under her breath, but started down the path again. The two goblins followed her, giggling at her reaction. Between her breasts she felt Celtric’s struggling stop as the mix of his exhaustion and the unyielding walls of soft green flesh took their toll, and she chuckled to herself as she realized he’d fallen asleep.

That’s right Celtric, just relax there, she thought, we’ll find this Dwarf woman of yours…

…

“Talon Peak?” the innkeeper asked, “nobody goes up there but outlaws and criminals.”

“Well that wouldn’t be us,” Thundra said, “We’re uh… bird watchers.”

The man glanced over the bar at the two unkempt goblins suspiciously, furrowing his brow. Mushrooom and Cupcake waved back to him, smiling.

“I ought to throw you out for even inquiring about the peak,” the innkeeper grumbled, “but being an orc, it wouldn’t be right.” He glanced at the inn’s common room, empty save for one drunk bent over sleeping at the bar, and the man’s own wife, polishing the tavern’s glasses. “We should have fought the Witch with you,” he said in a hushed tone, “one of these days we’ll rise up, I know it!” He reached under the bar and produced a room key, “no charge, but don’t tell anyone where you slept tonight.”

“You have our thanks,” Thundra nodded.

Later, in their room, Thundra laid Celtric down on the pillow, “Did you find anything out?” Celtric asked, looking up at her.

“I guess the mountain’s got a bad reputation,” Thundra said, crossing her arms, “but nobody said anything about a dwarf that I heard.”

“Then there’s something still up there,” Celtric said with a grin.

“Well whatever it is, I hope it’s rich,” Mushroom grinned, “any chance this dwarf lady might have left some bags of gold laying around?”

“She dealt more in copper,” Celtric said thoughtfully.

“Hey, what’s the team policy on playing with Celtric?” Cupcake asked suddenly. “I could use some uh, relaxation. ”

“I’m not a toy!” Celtric snapped.

“He’s the most brilliant mage and warrior of our time!” Thundra nearly shouted, “you two are to show him respect.”

“What? We totally respect Celtric,” Mushroom laughed, looking to Cupcake with a wink, “we just also want to get off, if anything I think that’s a way bigger show of respect than bowing and scraping!”

“I know things are done differently in the swamp,” Celtric began, “but-“

“How come she gets to shove you in her tits whenever she wants?” Cupcake asked, pointing up at Thundra.

“It’s the safest place to hide him!” Thundra retorted, “there’s uh… padding, and he’s warm!”

“Don’t you have pockets though?” Mushroom asked, pointing to Thundra’s trousers.

Thundra’s green face flashed red, “T-This conversation is over, everyone get to sleep!”

…

The trek up the side of the peak was easy, too easy, and Celtric rested on Thundra’s shoulder, scanning the trees warily.

“What kind of abandoned mountain has such a well maintained road?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“The innkeeper said criminals and bandits come up this way, maybe they keep it up?” Thundra asked.

“I haven’t seen any sign of bandits,” Mushroom shrugged, “Usually I’d have spotted them by now if they had a scout or something.”

“It doesn’t make sense that criminals would come up here though,” Celtric muttered, “it’s not on any merchant routes, and the only town around here is down at the base of the mountain, not nearly enough targets to support even a small group of outlaws.”

“So they’re coming for something else then,” Cupcake said with a shrug, “maybe there’s good hunting up here?”

“Nope,” Mushroom said, “I haven’t seen any wild game besides a skinny rabbit.”

“Huh, you know I think that maybe those guys are coming up here for that,” Thundra said, pointing further up the cobblestone road.

A large bronzed gate was hewn into the side of the mountain, with ornate geographic shapes molded into the sides. As they approached a black box atop the doorway crackled to life.

“Who’s there?” a woman’s voice called, “State your business?”

Celtric’s eyes went wide, “Yrsa, it’s me, Celtric! Open the gate quickly, we’ve got to talk at once!”

There was silence on the other end of the black box, then a crackling exhale, as if someone were breathing out slowly. The sound of metal on metal came from behind the gate, and a moment later they all jumped back as the bronze gate clanked open on it’s own, a burst of steam clouding the inside as the engines worked.

“Come in then,” the voice called.

“All right then,” Thundra said with a grin, “I guess she does remember you!”

As soon as the four of them crossed the threshold, the bronze gates behind them slammed shut, the speed deceptively fast after the slow creaking way they’d opened.

“What the hell!?” Mushroom cried angrily, readying an arrow on her small bow.

There was another crackle as the electronic voice boomed from overhead, “Who the hell are you people? And who told you my mother’s name?”

“Mother’s name?” Celtric’s brow furrowed, Yrsa’s daughter!? He tried to remember her name, he’d spent little time with the girl, who hadn’t been more than five or so when he’d last walked the earth.

“Ylva!” he cried suddenly, “Listen, it’s me Celtric, remember? Your mother’s friend?”

“Listen up Celtric, I sell weapons out of this cave, and I deal with some pretty rough types, so if you think you’re going to play around with me? I can trigger a dozen things to kill everyone in that room.”

“Guess that explains why all the criminals come up here,” Thundra muttered. “I say we blast our way out.”

“Wrong answer!” Ylva’s voice crackled over the speaker.

A pipe extended from the ceiling, and a moment later a jet of hot blue flame belched out of it, ready to roast them all alive. Cupcake and Thundra raised their hands together, shield charms manifesting in an egg shaped shell around them that glinted white, deflecting the flame.

“Magic huh?” Ylva taunted, “I’ve got some answers for that too!”

There was a skittering sound, and a wave of beetles emerged from the wall, scurrying down towards them. Thundra shouted in surprise, hurling a fireball down at them and sweeping another wave away with her axe, sparks flying along the floor as she did so.

“Mage-eaters love the taste of magically infused flesh,” Ylva taunted.

“Huh,” Mushroom muttered, readying her bow, “these guys look a lot like croc beetles back home… I’ll bet that-“ she loosed her arrow, taking out a single red beetle in the swarm of black. The creatures shrieked, twitched, and then slowly stopped moving.

“How did you know to do that?” Thundra marveled, looking over at the goblin.

“They’ve got one bug that controls the whole swarm,” she said with a shrug, “although the ones I know of usually just eat fruit and stuff, not people.”

“Hey! Do you know how hard it is to cultivate a colony of those!?” Ylva shouted angrily.

“Ylva, stop this at once!” Celtric shouted, “This is Celtric Hammerspell, I know you know who I am! Now come down here and speak to me, or we’ll tear this fortress apart piece by piece!”

“Like you could,” Ylva muttered, “but whatever, I’ll come talk to you Celtric, the rest of your people have to stay down there though.” There was another clanking sound, as if gears were turning behind the walls. A tiny doorway at the base of the room opened up, no more than a foot tall. “That’s a door for fairies, it’s a little big for you, but it should work,” she teased.

“You’re not seriously going up there, are you?” Thundra whispered.

With a sigh Celtric leapt down, fighting the instinct to panic at the massive, to him, drop before he hit the ground with a soft grunt.

“I am,” he replied, “I might not be what I once was, but I’m never going to be a coward, no matter what size I am.” With that he walked through the small doorway, leaving his protesting comrades behind him.

Flickering yellow overhead lights lit up as he walked, revealing a hallway that was the closest thing he’d seen to his own size in some time. It was still ominously large, fairies were anywhere from six inches to a foot tall compared to his own four inch height, but it was something. A few moments later he emerged in a large atrium, massive desks towered overhead, with strange half assembled metal objects atop them, and piles of tools and dirty rags seemingly lain around the floor at random.

A hiss startled him, and he turned to see another pair of sliding doors open with a puff of steam, admitting his host into the atrium.

She was a dwarf, that was for certain, the stocky four foot body with the wide hips gave that away, and like most dwarven women she carried a prodigious chest that shook up and down as she walked, drawing the male eye. She had red hair, tied in a pair of braids, and beneath the smudges of grease he could just barely make out freckles as she walked towards him, finally stopping as she loomed overhead, hands on her hips. Beneath the pair of goggles she wore, he could make out bright blue eyes.

“Well?” she demanded.

“Well… Here I am?” he said weakly, throwing his arms open, “Celtric Hammerspell, at your service!”

“And my mother? Where is she?”

Celtric frowned, “I’d come to ask you the same thing… She isn’t here?”

“I thought she was with you,” Ylva sighed angrily, “Come here!” she bent down, sweeping Celtric up in a gloved hand, the smell of sweat, leather, and engine grease mixing in a dizzying aroma as she carried him deeper into her sanctum, regarding him curiously. “So why are you small, is this how you’ve been hiding from the Witch?”

“No, it’s not a curse, it’s… complicated,” he grunted, squirming against her grip.

She grinned and squeezed a little tighter, “I have to say, I kind of like this… human men are already so fair and delicate,” she shivered, giggling with glee as she ran a gloved finger over his head, mussing his hair, “this will just make you more fun to play with.”

Celtric scowled, his patience with being “played with” having run its course. He muttered a quick spell under his breath, and a dagger of pure light appeared in the air, angled right at the dwarf’s throat. She stopped, gulping as the tip pressed gently into the front of her neck.

“I might not be as big as I once was, but the right application of a small amount of force can still do wonders,” he said icily, “Now tell me what happened to your mother!”

Ylva nodded, sighing with relief as the dagger vanished, “O-Okay, she was here with me for a few years, then she said I had to go stay with my uncle because she was going to find you.”

“She went looking for me?” Celtric asked, stunned, “but everyone thought I was dead!”

“She didn’t believe it!” Ylva said, “she said if there’s no body, then Celtric Hammerspell isn’t dead!” She chewed her lip a moment, “I mean, looking at you she was kinda right…”

“She’s a brilliant woman,” Celtric sighed, “So I don’t suppose you know what happened to her?”

Ylva’s face darkened, “after she left, the Witch’s people started building things using a lot of her old designs, I don’t think she’d have ever willingly given them up… I just figured that she found you, or the Witch got her. I haven’t seen her in over ten years now.”

Celtric sighed, fighting the urge to break under yet another emotional blow. Ylva stared at him awkwardly a moment, wondering if the tiny human warrior was going to cry. Finally he looked up at her, his face that same determined mask it had been a minute ago.

“I think I owe her the same consideration she gave me,” he said firmly, “if there’s no body, she’s still alive.”

Ylva smiled and nodded, “Yeah, that’s the spirit!”

“Now then,” Celtric said with a grin, “you say you sold weapons? They must be good if people are willing to come so far!”

Ylva beamed, carrying Celtric through the hallways of her fortress to a large storeroom. She threw it open, and Celtric looked up in awe at the amazing array of instruments of death and destruction.

“Now my mom was always big on building stuff to get from place to place,” Ylva explained, “Me? I’ve always preferred building stuff that breaks other stuff.” She placed Celtric up on her shoulder, hefting up an ominous looking device with a single long blade with sawlike teeth up and down the length. She pulled a cord, and a moment later it roared to life, the blades spinning as foul smelling fumes filled the air, “I call this one the chainsaw,” she said proudly, “it’ll cut through the finest armor like it’s warm butter.”

“That’s terrifying,” Celtric marveled.

“It’s pretty scary, yeah,” she chuckled, shutting the device off and picking up an egg shaped object, hefting it in her hand. She strutted over to what appeared to be some manner of indoor archery range, complete with target dummies that had been torn to pieces. She produced a small match, striking it on the wall and then bringing it up to the string atop the “egg.” Celtric watched, spellbound, as she threw it as hard as she could downrange.

“AH!” Celtric shouted in surprise as the blast sent him flying off her shoulder, landing with a grunt on the hard stone floor. He groaned, looking up, then went quiet with shock, a crater had appeared where the target dummies had been, and he hadn’t felt the slightest tinge of magic.

“I call them dragon eggs,” Ylva said, reaching down to pick him up again. “So, how many would you and your friends like to buy? Since you knew my mom I’m willing to give you guys a very generous discount!”

“Buy?” Celtric said uncertainly, “Er, I thought you’d want to come with us? To find and possibly avenge your mother?”

“Go with you guys?” Ylva snorted. “You’re going after the Red Witch, right? You want to finish that old feud?”

“That was the idea, yes,” Celtric said impatiently.

“Look, I don’t know why you and the Red Witch broke up, but is it really worth another war over?”

“Broke up!?” Celtric shouted indignantly, “I never courted that foul harlot!”

“That’s not what her official biography says,” Ylva said with a shrug, “but hey, history is full of inaccuracies. Anyways, if you aren’t buying anything you guys can stay in my guest room for the night, but then you’ve got to get out of here, the last thing an arms dealer needs is a bunch of fugitives hanging around, you know?”

Celtric sighed, “I need you and your weapons to win this,” he said quietly, “is there anything I can say or do to make you join us?”

Ylva’s eyes narrowed, then a grin slowly traced over her features, “Marry me!”

Celtric balked, “You’re joking?”

“No, I want a rich and famous human husband, and more importantly I want the mining rights to your family’s land!”

“There’s no gold or any other valuable metals on the Hammerspell estates!” Celtric protested.

“Humans don’t know about petroleum yet, right?”

“Petrol-what?” Celtric asked.

“Nevermind,” Ylva giggled, “I’ll worry about it once we kill the witch. Is she immune to corrosive chemicals?”

“Yes,” Celtric said flatly.

Ylva raised an eyebrow, “Well, I do like a challenge.” She hefted Celtric in her hand a moment, “Now, let’s get those pants off so I can examine my new fiancé.”

Celtric sprawled out on her gloved palm as she reached for the hem of his doll’s pants, pulling at them. Celtric squirmed as they slid off, revealing his manhood as it sprang free.

“Fucking human men,” she growled, “you just drive me crazy!”

“All right you’ve seen it,” Celtric growled, “and you know it works!”

Ylva’s face went as red as her hair as she angled him for a better look, “ Yeah it does,” she murmured. “Okay, I’m going to go bring your friends up. I need a day or two to get some stuff together, then we’ll set out.”

With a giggle she brought him down to the hem of her pants, casually sliding him inside. Celtric shouted in surprise as he slid down the front of her cotton panties, ruzzed and slightly damp from her sweat. She pulled her pants closed again, sealing him in the humid darkness. He turned and shifted, quickly becoming tangled in the forest of red pubic hair as she walked, shivering excitedly from the sensation of his movements between her legs.

“Settle down,” she giggled, cupping her hand over her crotch and adjusting his position through the fabric. She reached her control panel, hitting a few buttons and opening the main entryway for the rest of the group. She sighed happily, collapsing into her swivel chair.

…

“You agreed to what!? Thundra hissed angrily.

They were all seated around a table in Ylva’s makeshift kitchen, and the dwarf was smirking smugly as she handed them plates. Celtric was in the center of the table, working his way through the agreement he’d made.

“It’s the only way to secure her help,” Celtric sighed, “and besides, it’s better than whatever arranged marriage with a stuffy noblewoman I’d have been forced into anyways.”

“You could have married for love,” Cupcake deadpanned.

“Yeah,” Thundra growled, “you could’ve done that.”

“Hey, we might fall in love,” Ylva said with a grin, “I’m already in love with hearing stories of the vast riches of the Hammerspell estates!”

“Celtric, what’s the Kingdom of Alregon’s policy on polygamy?” Thundra asked suddenly.

“It’s allowed under rare circumstances,” he said with a frown. “Such as if a noble line is about to die out, only one male heir for example.”

“You didn’t have any male siblings or cousins, right?” Thundra asked in a tired voice.

“No,” Celtric said curiously, “Why do you ask?”

“Good news dwarf,” the orc said, getting up with a sigh, “you get to live. I’m going to bed everyone.”

Celtric watched as the towering orc woman walked up a small staircase leading up to the bedrooms, “What was that about?” he asked obliviously.

“Uh…” Mushroom looked to Cupcake, who just shrugged awkwardly.

“Hey, don’t worry about her,” Ylva said with a smirk, grabbing Celtric again. “I think we’re all going to get along just fine!” She grinned as she slowly wedged him between the pale orbs of her breasts, grinning as she ate her meal.