The opener had been…fine. Not one of those rare acts where you realize halfway through the set that you’ve just found your new second favorite band. Nor the all-too-common kind that leaves you wondering “how did these guys get paired up with the band I came to see?” They put on a good show, warmed up the crowd. After so long in hiding, I was just ecstatic to be hearing live music again.

The wait between acts felt like an eternity, as always. But Mika’s softness kept me from getting too impatient. I leaned in, pressed my ear to her chest and let the thunderous sound of her heartbeats fill my head. She was steadier than the opener’s drummer, and I had her bassline all to myself.

Then I felt Mika shift her weight, and someone nearby shouted. A moment later, the room erupted into cheering. I scrambled to turn forward and pressed my face into Mika’s shirt again. Blurrily, I saw spotlights playing across the stage. My heart began pounding as I saw two, three, four figures making their way inward from the wings.

This squinting-through-cotton business was not gonna cut it. I might only see Catharsis once in a lifetime, and I intended to get a good view. Nobody would be looking in our direction. I grabbed Mika’s collar, pulling myself up and over into dazzling light. I breathed cool, dry air and blinked as my eyes adjusted.

What came into focus was the culmination of a decade of obsession, half a lifetime of wanting, and a dream I’d given up on when I learned of my shrunken fate. Last Catharsis, whose logo and lyrics littered the pages of my high school notebooks, loomed before me, the backlighting lending them otherworldly halos. A breath caught in my throat.

Kit, their frontwoman and the subject of my aforementioned teenage crush, was twice as devastatingly attractive in person. I was not prepared.

Before I could come to terms with this, the drummer counted off and Catharsis exploded into their first song. The wall of sound hit my ears and it was simply exultant. The song wasn’t even one of my favorites, but that hardly mattered.

Kit’s voice, as she sung her first words, gave me chills. Mika must have felt something, because she lightly pressed a finger against me through her shirt. When I reached over her collar and held her fingertip, she jumped a little in surprise. She gingerly felt around to figure out where I was, then fumbled with her phone. My own vibrated in my pocket.

Mika: Aren’t you worried people will see you??

Lily: Look around…everyone’s facing the stage. Soo what do you think of them? What do you think of Kit?

Mika: I guess you're right. I’ll be ready to cover you up if someone turns around. Kit’s the singer? I’m starting to understand why you had that crush. I want her dress.

Lily: Hahaha we’re gonna find that dress for you I promise!

The next few songs were a beautiful blur. I hung on every note, and in between, every word of stage banter. Kit told stories about most of the songs, a few of which were even new to me. But she could talk about contract law in that voice, in those boots, and I would still be transfixed.

As the last chord of one song faded away, Kit turned to talk to the band. The hem of her plaid skater dress caught up a second later. The keyboardist nodded and the bassist gave a thumbs-up. Kit turned back to face us. This time there was no story, and right away I knew that my song was about to start.

Nothing could have prepared me for the joy of watching the song I’d once considered my personal anthem performed this way. My face hurt from my permanent grin. As we hit the chorus, I noticed Mika was swaying back and forth to the music. I dashed off a text.

Lily: You should dance baby

Mika pulled out her phone, her hips never breaking rhythm.

Mika: Whaat no you’ll get all tossed around. And I can’t dance!! People will laugh

Lily: I want to dance with you Mika

She stared at her phone for a moment and then put it away. She brought a hand to her chest and held me against her for a moment. Then, as the next verse started, I felt her whole body loosen up, and her sway turned into something unchained, something passionate, something, dare I say, cathartic?

Mika was dancing, for once in her life, and I joined her. Time seemed to slow, the music filled every cell of my body, and the beat kept us moving as one. The chorus came again and Kit held her mic out to the audience. I sang my tiny heart out and moved like there was no tomorrow. It occurred to me that this was a moment I’d never forget.

Then abruptly, my reverie ended. My feet were stuck. Through my movements they’d found their way under the elastic band of Mika’s sports bra. I struggled to get them free, but instead slid downward against her chest, now slick with sweat.

I scrambled, grabbing at anything I could, but my efforts were only making me slip further out into space. I started to panic as my head followed my body under, then through, the elastic. I thrust my arms up to grab the band and managed the barest grasp on it. But Mika was still dancing with abandon and hadn’t noticed my plight. I lost my grip, and was in freefall.

Reflexively I scrabbled at Mika's shirt as I fell, managing only a tenuous hold on the shifting fabric. I looked down. In the dim light I saw her belly, the waistband of her jeans, and a sickening distance below, the floor.

I was about to be shaken loose again. There was a small gap between her body and the waistband. I knew where I had to aim. I straightened myself, pointed my toes and let go. I fell, bracing myself for the worst.

Two minutes later, Mika carefully extracted me from her unbuttoned jeans into the harsh light of a bathroom stall. Trembling, she brought me to her eye level. She looked me over with wide, terrified, tearful eyes.

I was tearing up too, but with laughter. What else could I do but laugh? That was the most ridiculous thing that had ever happened, and I was alive.

Mika blinked at me a few times, shook her head, and then a corner of her mouth came up. Maybe against her will, she giggled once, and then started to laugh. Soon she had joined me in involuntary fits. She hugged me to her chest and it felt like she’d never willingly let me go.

When our laughter subsided, she gave me some distance again so that we could look each other in the eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I never should’ve…”

“Shh, don’t. I just got to dance with you, to my favorite band playing my favorite song. That was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you and I love this. And I’m fine.”

She looked ready to cry again. I gave her what I hoped was a steadying look.

“Kiss me, okay? And then let’s go back out there. I hear them calling for an encore.”

Mika and Lily Rock Out by npcmx - Included with permission